100 Hot Men and a Dame: #95 Colin Farrell

95. Colin Farrell

Occupation: Actor

Nationality: Irish

Age: 35

Best Known For: A wildly erratic filmography, which includes Tigerland, Phone Booth, S.W.A.T., Daredevil, Alexander, The New World, In Bruges and Horrible Bosses.

Joining me in this latest installment is my good friend (and the other half of the Whores of Twitter) JD from the blog Valley Dreamin'. This is his first of many entries in the countdown, so I hope you enjoy JD's one of a kind sense of humor!

Dame James: When did you first encounter Colin and, if it wasn't love at first sight, when did you fall in love with him?

JD: I first saw him in Phone Booth I'd reckon but my junk didn't really respond because I wasn't *there* yet. But by the time Alexander and The New World and his penchant for fucking hot photoshoots happened, I was ready. Also, ya know, the sex tape. It came riiight at the point where I was starting to be a horndog but not quite there yet; I think it really sent me over permanently to that direction. If that's not love, I don't know what is!

Dame James: Actually, I think Phone Booth may have been the first thing I saw Colin in as well, give or take Minority Report which I probably didn't even register him being in at the time (or now, come to think of it). The film that hooked me was Tigerland, which is basically an ode to how incredibly sexy and gorgeous he is. The fact that it's confined in the inherent homoeroticness of Army life only makes Colin sexier. Plus, I get an even bigger hard-on when pretty boys can act and, up until In Bruges, this was my favorite performance of his.

Going through his IMDb page, I realize there's a lot of stuff I haven't seen and, for the most part, I don't feel like I'm missing much. I was excited about the homosexuality of Alexander but then I read that Oliver Stone basically cut all of that out (For shame!). A Home At the End of the World is Sensitive Colin, which I'm not sure exists, or want to exist, and that source material is such complete and utter shit. His sex tape is probably the most intriguing thing I haven't seen.

JD: Alexander is just a fucking weird movie. The homosexuality isn't taken out entirely but what's left is so muddled and confusingly done. But Colin shows his dick at least! And it has Angie Jolie being a crazy campy bitch which is also a plus.

You haven't seen the sex tape?! It's only like 15 minutes long, MAKE ROOM FOR IT. (I'd definitely make room for it. #JDnontweets)

Dame James: No, I haven't seen it, but I'm notoriously bad at seeing infamous sex tapes. Also, women. Ew. I don't need non-Anne Hathaway boobs interrupting my pornography, thank you very much. Is the tape from before he was famous?

JD: I think the sex tape was around the time he was filming Daredevil so his head was shaved, and it was with a Playboy model. You've at least seen the screencaps, though, right?

Dame James: I haven't even seen screencaps. I didn't even know it existed until two days ago. Man oh man, I miss everything!

The only problem I have with Colin is that his look changes so much and my opinion changes drastically with each look. Love the short hair/scruff combo of the Tigerland years and the In Bruges/Cassandra's Dream years but find the long shaggy hair/full-on beard years a waste. Do you find yourself going back and forth like me? If no, do you prefer a certain look over another?

JD: Ehhh, I know his changing looks are understandably a problem for some people, but I don't think I've ever minded any of them. I do agree his best is the simple short black hair/scruff look.

Dame James: At least we agree on that. I suppose when you have as long a history with someone as you do with Colin, you'll find him attractive no matter what in the hell he looks like. Isn't that the definition of true love?

Anyways, speaking of true love, remember the days when he and Britney were fucking? I think it was just after she broke up with Justin and her hormones were racing and she was fucking everyone in sight and Colin, like the decent, sexed-up god that he is, took advantage of that? Okay, so it's not quite the storybook romance that Britney and Justin were but don't you love Colin just a little bit more for bangin' the Princess of Pop?

JD: I totally forgot they did but YOU'RE RIGHT. Oh man. haha.

Dame James: Anyways, one last topic: the bad boy factor. Just how much does it work to his advantage? Would we still be as hot for him from a purely physical standpoint if there wasn't the risk that he'd shove us against a wall and have hot, angry sex with us and then not call the next day?

JD: Imagining Colin Farrell as a 'nice', 'sensible', 'considerate' person just...doesn't register, you know? It's a huge part of why he's so fucking attractive! Especially for angry wall sex, absolutely. Mmmmm.

So, what do you think? Do you like the idea of a Sensitive Colin Farrell or do you, like Lady Gaga in her glory days, like it rough?

2008 Diva Cup Awards: Best Actor

Colin Farrell
In Bruges

Like most people, I had been waiting since Farrell's breakthrough in 2000's Tigerland for him to live up to that initial promise. It's been a long, tough eight years, but he finally did it with In Bruges as a remorseful hitman. Farrell is hardly the first person you would think who could handle both the wickedly hilarious side of the role as well as the dark, internal drama and does both jaw-droppingly great. Along with his also great performance in Woody Allen's Cassandra's Dream, it looks like Colin Farrell is fighting to finally be taken seriously as an actor and up his game with each passing role; let's hope for more of this in the future.

Andrew Garfield
Boy A

There's a great little scene in the middle of Boy A that perfectly sums up why Andrew Garfield's performance is not only one of the best of the year, but one of the most exciting and breathtaking breakthrough performances of the past decade. Garfield's Jack is sitting in a restaurant with his girlfriend Michelle when she hands him a little gift. It turns out to be a nice leather wallet- a nice gesture, but nothing earthshattering. Jack, on the other hand, reacts as if he's just been handed the Heart of the Ocean and about 14 different emotions run across his face. The moment is interesting because, for a minute, you have no clue what his reaction is and, consequently, how you should be feeling about it: is he going to cry, laugh, get angry or is he just really surprised? More often than not, women are called on to play these types of emotional roles that demand shading and texture so it's nice to see an extremely young, good looking man not only tackle this but do it so damned effectively.

Richard Jenkins
The Visitor

Jenkins's performance in The Visitor is probably the hardest of the five to talk about because it's hard to put into words what makes it so special. On first glance, it doesn't look like Jenkins is doing much with only one big "moment," but the beauty of the performance lies in the quiet moments of fractured dialogue and deep, soulful looks of contemplation. Jenkins subtly follows the progression of The Visitor's narrative perfectly, starting cold and unapproachable, slowly melting as he becomes tangled up emotionally with a young immigrant couple and building up to that firestorm of frustration and grief before regaining his composure, still quite and reserved but newly open to care for another human being. The acting may not be superficially visible like a certain Best Actress nominee who cried and threw things on her way to a nomination, but Jenkins is able to speak volumes and more clearly with just a few carefully chosen gestures and looks.

Heath Ledger
The Dark Knight

The most buzzed about performance of the year, if not the decade, and somehow all of it (and then some) is completely warranted. Ledger's Joker may not have a massive amount of physical on-screen time, but, just like Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal Lecter, his presence so dominates every frame of the film that he feels like a true lead with Bale's Batman. Whenever a long stretch of screentime goes on (and on) without him, the film seems to flounder, but always recovers whenever he decides to cause some drama and show up for another round of "Guess What the Psychopath Will Do Next." And that's probably what makes Ledger's performance so exciting and immediately engrossing: you really have no clue what trick he's going to pull out next (or, as in the film, stick in your eye). Every scene is a jolt and, in my case, makes you sick to your stomach in anticipation of his next diabolical move. Heath's passing early last year was extremely saddening, but how many actors get to go out with a bang like this?

Mickey Rourke
The Wrestler

Like Jenkins, it may not seem like Rourke is doing much "acting" as the past-his-glory wrestling star Randy "The Ram" in The Wrestler, but his quiet character shadings speak volumes about both the character and Rourke's ability as an actor. The fact that The Ram's downfall to obscurity after an impossibly great 80's mirrors Rourke's career in Hollywood is the icing on the cake and one of the most perfect immersions of an actor into a role I've ever seen. The fact that Oscar passed over this subtle character work for some perfectly competent (and, for the most part, admittedly well-done) biopic-ing isn't really that surprising, but I'm thinking that this is the performance more people will still be talking about 15 years down the road.

If Only There Were Six: James Franco, Pineapple Express

Rest of the Top 10: Sean Penn, Milk...Espin Klouman-Hoiner, Reprise...Josh Brolin, W....Sam Rockwell, Choke

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

Fuck You, Golden Globes

How can you say no to this...

...but yes to this?

WORST. NOMINATION. EVERRRRRRR!!!!!!

Sorry, I had to let out my Joan Crawford inner-angst there for a second. Minus the above nomination for this grossly overrated and unfunny performance (Tom Cruise in a fat suit, dancing to Ludacris...that's hilarious! Fucking gag me with a spoon), the nominations weren't too bad. In Bruges, aka the best movie of the year so far, picked up three (3!) nominations for Best Picture (M/C) and for Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson for Best Actor. Brilliant! James Franco also got a nom for Pineapple Express, which is possibly the funniest performance of the year. And RDJ, man. It would make me so happy if he could ride this Tropic Thunder momentum all the way to an Oscar nomination.

Best of 2008 (So Far): Movies

Let me be blunt about something: I've only seen 16 films from 2008 so far (bad me) and most of them have been mediocre at best, with only a few truly great ones. This is why these lists are kind of limited and may seem rather sucky in the grand scheme of things. I hope to catch up on all I can before I go back to school at the end of August.

Top 5 Films

5.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Nicholas Stoller)
It's no Superbad or The 40-Year Old Virgin, but Forgetting Sarah Marshall is definitely worth a look at, if only for a peek at the superb script by star Jason Segel which has a similar plot to most romantic comedies, but stays clear of cliche and corniness.

4.

Stop-Loss (Kimberly Peirce)
The first 20 minutes were absolutely brilliant- probably the scariest war scene I've seen since Saving Private Ryan- and even if the rest was a slight letdown, it was still more inventive and exciting than anything else playing in the theaters in early April.

3.

Cloverfield (Matt Reeves)
My mini-rant here.

2.

WALL-E (Andrew Stanton)
My mini-rant here.

1.

In Bruges (Martin McDonagh)
My mini-rant here.


Best Performances

Best Actor

Colin Farrell, In Bruges
Between Farrell's breakthrough in Tigerland and this film, I have either managed to avoid seeing his stinkers or haven't been particularly impressed by his work. In In Bruges, however, Farrell ably carries the dramatic heft thrust upon his shoulders while doing the comedy it also asks for...without dropping the ball once. It's an impressive performance that I will remember for awhile.

Best Actress

Natalie Portman, The Other Boleyn Girl
Not necessarily her greatest performance, but it's certainly a hoot. Portman, unlike co-star Scarlett Johansson, knows how to do camp and isn't afraid to go all out.

Best Supporting Actor

Ralph Fiennes, In Bruges
Again, this may not be Fiennes' greatest performance, but his foul-mouthed gangster was uproariously funny.

Best Supporting Actress

Isla Fisher, Definitely, Maybe & Imelda Staunton, Cranford (tie)
Staunton isn't given much to do in Cranford (a British made-for-TV miniseries that I caught on PBS a few months ago) besides play the town gossip, so, like the pro that she is, she relishes every joke and one-liner she is given and plays them for all their worth. The only reason I would ever recommend Definitely, Maybe to someone is so they can see Isla Fisher's impressive performance as one of the three potential mothers to Abigail Breslin. She completely understands where the character is coming from and plays down the kookiness enough so that she seems like a regular person we all would fall for.