10 Films I'm Excited for in 2010

I realize April has now approached us, but I feel it's never too late in the year to anticipate (hopefully) good upcoming films. One thing I noticed when trying to come up with this list was that I was more drawn to run-of-the-mill studio films than any Oscar bait or prestige pictures. Also, these films are very gay; either they star a hot guy or a fabulous female. Needless to say, I think 2010 is going to be an interesting year. So, in no particular order, here are ten films I'm positively dying to see.

Special Mentions: Before we get started with the list, I have to pay a special tribute to two films I couldn't add for various reasons. The Runaways has already been released, even though it won't be anywhere near my area until this weekend. When my friends recently asked me why I wanted to see this, my response was, "Kristen Stewart, in all of her hard edged indie glory, as a drugged-out lesbian rocker is like porn for me." The Loved Ones isn't supposed to get an Australian release until summertime, so I'm not holding my breath America will get it this year (if at all). This horror film, which stars Australian hottie Xavier Samuel, received ecstatic reviews at Toronto last fall. I'm hoping that after the release of Twilight Saga: Eclipse this June, American audiences will be clamoring for more Xavier and this film will see the light of day here.

Black Swan

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis play rival ballerinas. I'm expecting a lot of bitchiness and cat fights. Plus, Sebastian Stan plays a ballerina. Hopefully in tights. I apologize in advance to whoever sees this movie with me. There will be a lot of sighing and passing out.

Burlesque

Christina Aguilera plays a "burlesque" dancer (aka stripper). Cam Gigandet plays her boyfriend. CHER PLAYS THE BURLESQUE CLUB OWNER AND A FORMER "DANCER". What self-respecting gay man isn't excited for this movie?!

The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud

Zac Efron in his first serious role. This will either be great or flop horrendously. Can't wait to see which it is.

The Eagle of the Ninth

Jamie Bell plays Channing Tatum's slave boy. Channing Tatum is Jamie Bell's master. I swore after the twin disasters of G.I. Joe and Dear John my obsession with seeing every Channing movie in theatres was going to end, but I just can not say no to this movie.

The Fighter

This is going to sound incredibly shallow (even by my admittedly low standards) but I'm primarily interested in this film for Mark Wahlberg's torso. When I saw this picture around the interweb some months ago, my ticket was already bought.

Inception

I enjoy Christopher Nolan's films, but I'm mostly excited for this eccentric cast. I just can't even imagine what Ellen Page, Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are going to do in their scenes together. Their acting styles are on totally different planets so it will be interesting to see what Nolan does with them to make it work.

The Kids Are Alright

The last time Julianne Moore played a lesbian was in The Hours. Remember how I felt about that one?

Love and Other Drugs

My Jakey and My Annie reunited after Brokeback Mountain. This sounds like Jake's most promising project in ages (probably since Brokeback) while Annie has already received rave reviews for her performance as a woman with Parkinson's Disease. As with Charlie St. Cloud, this could either be majorly good or completely bomb. Either way, I'll be there supporting my loves.

Rabbit Hole

I read the original play over the summer and, if this adaptation is done properly, Rabbit Hole will be fantastic. I love Nicole Kidman long time, so it's nice to see her once again with a strong role to sink her teeth into. Plus, Dianne Weist!

The Roommate

Leighton Meester plays a psychotic killer roommate. I'm hoping that all the energy she's been sorely lacking on Gossip Girl this season has been channeled into her performance here.

Leighton's Ode to Sebastian

About a month ago, a new song from Leighton Meester's upcoming album, Love is a Drug, leaked online. The song, appropriately called 'Your Love's a Drug,' is utterly amazing, second only to 'Body Control' as Leighton's best. I seriously can't stop listening to it, only making me more anxious for her album (whenever the hell her record company decides to release it). While listening to it, however, a thought suddenly struck me: this song could really be Leighton's declaration of love for her partner in crime Sebastian Stan. On first listen, with its slick electropop production, you'd probably think I was crazy, but once you listen to the lyrics, 'Your Love's a Drug' is actually a very touching love song. So, turn up this jam, read the lyrics, glance at these new pictures of Leighton & Sebastian and revel in the amazingness that is Meestan, Hollywood's most adorable celebrity couple.

I like it
I want it
The way you make my body move
I think I'm addicted
I'm high off everything you do
I'm going to call you, baby
Don't you worry about a thing
'Cause you're all I need

I become a slave to my habit
Fiending for your love
Gotta have it now

You're all I need
Your love's a drug
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
And I can't sleep
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug
Your love's a


I need it
That feeling
Rushing through my veins again
Whenever you're leaving
I feel withdraw all kicking in
I going to tell you how I feel
How I couldn't breath
When you're not with me

I become a slave to my habit
Fiending for your love
Gotta have it now

You're all I need
Your love's a drug
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
And I can't sleep
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug


'Cause I miss you when you're gone
So right but feels so wrong
And I need to have you all the time

You're all I need
Your love's a drug
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
And I can't sleep
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug

You're all I need
Your love's a drug
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
And I can't sleep
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug

The Ultimate Teen Drama

Ryan Atwood as the main heartthrob- a rough-around-the-edges everyman with a sensitive soft side.

Season 2 Blair Waldorf and Series 1 Tony Stonem as the manipulative, eternally scheming antagonists we're supposed to hate but end up loving more than the protagonists.


Seth Cohen as the dorky sidekick who is actually more adorable and lovable than the main character.


Sandy and Kirsten Cohen as the cool parents every teen wishes was their own.


Julie Cooper-Nichols as the bitchy parent no teen wishes was their own.



Season 1, "I killed a man" Serena van der Woodsen and Season 2 and beyond Summer Roberts as the eternally loyal (and gorgeous!) female sidekicks who, in the right moment, can be counted on for a good punchline.


Chris Miles as the slacker sidekick always making the wrong decisions but never less than hilarious making them.


Jal Fazer as the badass conscience of the group who can always be trusted to lend an ear and give great advice.


Mackenzie as the rich snob trying to protect his turf from the invading poor heartthrob.

Happy (Belated) 3rd Anniversary, Rants of a Diva!

I always remember my blog's anniversary because it (coincidentally) occurs on Our Lord and Savior Oprah Winfrey's birthday. For some reason, I got my dates mixed up and it wasn't until I was on my way out to work for the day that I realized yesterday was, in fact, my blog's birthday. Oops! How careless of me.

Wow, three whole years. I can't even believe it. When I started Rants of a Diva one random night as a freshman college student, I never would have thought it would last more than a couple months. I guess I underestimated how much I really enjoy getting online and bitching about any random thing thing that comes to mind. To be honest, though, I don't think Rants of a Diva would still be around if it wasn't for friends and commenters alike who express appreciation and encourage debate on many of my inane postings. So, as I say every year, THANK YOU. Thanks for sticking around and continuing to make Rants of a Diva an interesting place to come back to day after day.

As I do every year, I like to offer up a summary of my best and favorite posts of the past year as a way of celebrating of the year's accomplishments and introducing any new readers to what Rants of a Diva is all about. Let's dig in, shall we?

Film Rants
The Razor's Edge
If you ever want to find yourself attacked by random people on the interweb all you have to do is insult Tyrone Power and the vultures will come. Learned that one the hard way.

The History Boys
So much potential--namely from Stephen Campbell Moore and Dominic Cooper--squandered on morally ambivalent themes, lazy direction and a ham-handed lead performance.

So Many Women, So Little Time: Up in the Air and Nine
Was I the only one offended by the sexual politics of both of these movies?

The Hangover Will Not Be Nominated for Best Picture
The whole buzz behind this movie still baffles me. How this film won a Golden Globe will puzzle me until the day I die.

Salò
I'm still scarred.

My Inner Monologue During Twilight Saga: New Moon
Opening night: "OMG TAYLOR LAUTNER IS SO SEXY"
Two weeks later: "WHY IS THIS FILM SO BORING?"

Were the World Mine
What a lazy piece of homophobic trash.

Performance Highlights
8 Great Things About Susan Hayward in I'll Cry Tomorrow
Easily dismissible by today's acting standards as a ham, Susan Hayward turns her usual mannerisms into one of the most psychotic looks at alcoholism ever portrayed.

Taraji P. Henson Can Do Amazing All By Herself
Ignore all the haters; Tyler Perry delivers his smoothest film to date while Taraji P. Henson proves that she's an actress to reckon with.

The Tween Subculture
Jonas With a Chance
My initial impressions of JONAS and Sonny With a Chance. An obsession builds.

Send It On. On and On.
An interpretation of the behind the scenes drama on the music video for Disney's global warming anthem 'Send It On.'

"Soooo Chad. I Need a Favor"
Is Chad Dylan Cooper the greatest actor of his generation?

Le Music
Here Come the Girls
Six music videos from both old pros (Britney!) and newcomers (Demi!)

Albums of the 2000's: Britney Spears Blackout
I haven't gotten around to writing another installment of this series (damn me for not being a music writer) but I hope you enjoyed this ode to THE best album of the past decade.

The Boys!
Lady GaGa Knows Her Stuff
The chrorus to 'Boys Boys Boys' is represented visually by yours truly. Your welcome.

Zac Efron & Les Auteurs
He wants to work with some challenging directors. Here's what I imagine his projects with various auteurs would look like.

Imaginary Boyfriends of 2009
You loved my 2008 edition and, lo and behold, you also appreciated 2009's roster. Includes Sterling Knight, Kris Allen and Chad White.

My New Favorite Gays
Kings and The United States of Tara introduced us to two gay characters I would kill to see more of in the movies and on TV: the manipulative and scheming villain and the quiet, classic film-loving cutey.

Lists
25 Best Performances of the TV Season
Truth: I actually kind of don't like this post. I think my writing is atrocious. But, nonetheless, you all went crazy for it and commented on it more than any other post this year. Thank you!

My Top 10 Ideal Action Stars
What would happen if Miley Cyrus and Victoria Beckham were cast in stupid action blockbusters?

22 Reasons to Celebrate Zac Efron's 22nd Birthday
An ode to my future husband on his birthday.

Assorted Goodies
People Who Can Suck It: Gwyneth Paltrow and Megan Fox
These two are both twatbags for completely different reasons.

Casting The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
My new favorite book was, at one point, slated to be made into a movie. Here's who I want to be cast (In retrospect, however, I would completely trade out Kellan Lutz as Tracy for, as someone randomly suggested, Chris Pine).

The Ladies of 2009
The female counterpart to the Imaginary Boyfriends. These six women made 2009 a year to remember.

Faye Dunaway vs. Hilary Duff
The Duffster tries to throwdown with the one and only Faye motherfucking Dunaway. Guess whose side I'm on.

Things I Learned at the 2008 Oscars
RDJ is hot, Zac wants to have sex with Dev Patel and Beyoncé is a motherfucking DIVA.

I Am Terrified for the Future of Filmmaking
If all directors of the future are as retarded as the ones in my film class this past semester, I mourn the loss of the medium.

My New Favorite Celebrity Couple
You can keep your Brangelinas--Meestan is the celebrity couple I can truly get behind.

Golden Globe FYC's: Television

In just under a month, the Golden Globe nominations are going to be announced. Say what you want about them, but I love the way they cater to mega stars and nominate some out-there movies and TV shows the more serious Oscars and Emmys wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. And in that spirit, I wanted to point any members of the Hollywood Foreign Press who may have wandered onto my site to some underappreciated and unknown TV shows and performances from the past year. So, without further ado,

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

Best TV Show (Musical/Comedy)

Best Actor (Musical/Comedy): Joel McHale
Best Supporting Actress: Yvette Nicole Brown

Not everyone is in love with this show and I can accept that. The show's scattershot, smartass humor is a bit hit or miss, but when it hits, damn it is funny. Joel McHale, host of The Soup, is my boo so it should come as no surprise I love him on this show. The show's other highlight is Shirley, played by Yvette Nicole Brown. She's warm, generous and often hilarious with admittedly little to do sometimes. Hell, she can make silence funny.

Best Supporting Actress: Jane Lynch

The show is wildly inconsistent for me. Jane Lynch, however, is always spot on and often has me howling in laughter with her non-sensical metaphors and "Sue Says" TV spot. It's no wonder that Sue Sylvester is quickly replacing Chuck Norris as the ultimate tough guy.

Best Actress (Drama): Leighton Meester

This season so far has been a bit of a wash for Ms. Meester although things seem to be looking up for her (I loved the way she stood back and simply observed the aftermath of the "OM3"; she was far more interesting than any of the participants). My FYC is for, of course, her stellar work from the second half of last season. Do I really have to try and convince you again of her amazingness?

Best Supporting Actress: Chelsea Staub
Best Supporting Actress: Nicole Anderson

The Jonas Brothers may be the "stars" of JONAS, but the true discoveries are the main females of the show. Staub plays the band's stylist and shoulder to cry on about their various problems with an unusual combination of warmness and ferocious comedic timing unseen on any Disney show I've ever seen. Anderson is the band's obsessive fan who has slowly become my favorite reason to watch the show.

Best TV Show (Drama)
Best Supporting Actor: Sebastian Stan

This show never really had a chance on network TV, did it? Ambitious, layered and epic in scope, Kings was doomed from the start. But in its short 13 episode run, Kings had more impressive moments than some shows have had in three seasons. Ian McShane, with his booming voice and larger than life bravura, was great as the king, but I often found Sebastian Stan as doomed Prince Jack to be even more compelling throughout the show. In just a few episodes, the one-time Ed Westwick imitator became an actor to watch for in the future.

Best TV Show (Musical/Comedy)
Best Actress (Musical/Comedy): Demi Lovato
Best Supporting Actor: Sterling Knight
Best Supporting Actress: Tiffany Thornton

Who said that Disney was only for kids? One of the best shows on TV right now is on the Disney Channel and I'm not ashamed to admit that I watch it religiously. Sonny With a Chance is 30 Rock for the tweens and it's often just as groundbreaking and can't-catch-your-breath funny (when compared to its contemporaries, at least). Leading the cast is Demi Lovato as Sonny, the Liz Lemon of the show, and what's exciting about her performance is that over the course of the season, you can see her letting loose more and more, finally getting the hang of this comedy thing and truly becoming a star with each passing episode. Tiffany Thornton, plays self-obsessed diva Tawni Hart, the Jenna to Demi's Liz, and is a hoot everytime she appears on screen. Do you know anyone else who can elicit so many laughs just by repeating "Cocoa Mocho Cocoa" over and over again? And then there is trusty old Sterling Knight as tween heartthrob Chad Dylan Cooper (swoon!). His role as the romantic foil to Demi's Sonny is not particularly groundbreaking but the way he remains a complete douche even during the moments when he's supposed to be "wooing" Sonny is impressive. Less talented, "pretty boy" actors would have completely pussified CDC by episode four, but Knight is just as mean and darkly funny as he was on day one. Kudos to you!

Best TV Show (Musical/Comedy)
Best Supporting Actor: Keir Gilchrist
Best Supporting Actress: Brie Larson

Toni Collette is likely to get a nom, so it seems unnecessary to FYC her right now. Instead, I'll focus on the underappreciated children of Tara. Like I've talked about before, Gilchrist brings a clever twist to a stereotypical gay teen role. Larson is a complete bitch on the show, but she somehow brings enough humanity to her performance that I kinda wish she was my older sister.

Here Come the Girls

In the past couple weeks, not 1, not 2, but six music videos were released from four of this decade's most fascinating female pop icons and two from exciting up-and-coming popstars. As I'm sure you've heard me bemoan before, the music video is a dying art. It's very rare nowadays for any music video to become a sort of national experience as it once was during the art form's heyday. Stemming from this, it feels like most artists and record labels have practically given up, releasing cheap club videos with no creativity whatsoever. It almost makes you wonder why they bother at all. With all this in mind, I still think it's important to watch and discuss music videos because every once in awhile we get a couple that stand out above the rest and give you renewed hope in the art form. I'm not sure how many of these six will go on to become future classics, but let's talk about them anyways.

Britney Spears '3' # # # # #

For a tawdry, explicit song about the joy of threesomes and coming from the decade's Princess of Controversy, Brit's video for '3' is surprisingly tame. Lame, actually, is a more appropriate word. I find it especially disappointing coming after both 'Womanizer' and 'Circus,' two videos which proved in very different ways that Britney hadn't lost her star power and still knew how to attract an audience after the Blackout disasters. With Britney standing around and doing nothing for 3/4 of the video, '3' almost seems like a step backwards to the madness of 'Gimme More.' Then you have to consider the fact that there isn't even a hint of a threesome until nearly the two minute mark and then it's only brief and less sexier than the much ballyhooed "OM3" on Gossip Girl. The very end of the video, with its mad, frantic rush of cuts, seems to get into the feeling of the song, but by then, it doesn't even matter.



Demi Lovato 'Remember December' # # # # #

Let's start with the bad, shall we? Unfortunately, there's quite a bit of it in the should-be Queen of Disney's latest video. How about the fact that absolutely nothing happens in this video. I can live with the performance section of the video, which is actually quite stunning in certain regards, but not that horrible, tacked on bit where the obviously superior Demi is supposed to be hanging out with her peers (her Camp Rock co-stars, which includes my mortal enemy Meghan Jette Martin). What does their hanging out consist of? Sitting in a car, "jamming" out to the music and then, arms linked, walking along the street. Seriously, that's it. There's not even a big party scene! If it leads to nothing, why bother including it in the first place? It seems like someone just thought, "Well all of Demi's co-stars are right here, we might as well lump them in there just for the hell of it" and there you have the 'Remember December' video. The highlight of the video, however, is witnessing Demi become the diva glam goddess we all knew she could become. Like I stated in my tweet after seeing it for the first time, "I want to kiss whoever styled this video." The outfits--most of which include 80's Power Bitch Shoulder Pads (!!!)--are simply stunning to look at and Demi totally owns them, proving once and for all she is ready to stop being lumped in with the Disney Kids and ascend to Top 40 stardom. And all I can say is it's about damn time



Leighton Meester featuring Robin Thicke 'Somebody to Love' # # # # #

The video may not be especially groundbreaking, but I'm just grateful that after the awkwardness that was her "having fun" in the 'Good Girls Gone Bad' video, Leighton Meester pulled it together and worked her star magnetism in her debut solo video. I love that this video looks and feels sexy, but never at any point really crosses that trashy line that so many artists would have pushed through. My only major gripe with the video is that atrocious cut-out outfit in the limo portions of the video. Maybe it's just a personal preference, but I don't find tube top-esque styles flattering on small chested women.



Shakira 'Did It Again' # # # # #

I'm an enormous fan of Shakira's 'She Wolf' video for it's inherent campiness, ridiculous dance moves (I can't be the only one who has tried to replicate the butt move towards the beginning, right?) and the fun she has with the whole ridiculous set-up, so her follow up video 'Did It Again' had a lot to live up to. While it's not as great as 'She Wolf,' 'Did It Again' has some great things going for it. The impressive set piece, a bedroom dance depicting the troubled relationship in the song, actually manages to make interpretive dancing cool again and not just something pretentious morons do to make us think they're insightful. My only major complaint with the video is the random excursion to the steamroom. First of all, Shakira looks much better with her teased out sex goddess hair than flattened and in a ponytail. Secondly, the scene adds nothing to the overall video; I would have found it much more interesting had they stayed in the room the whole time (and maybe do it all in one take à la 'Single Ladies').



Rihanna 'Russian Roulette' # # # # #

I'm no fan of the song--it's growing on me slightly, but it's still slightly tuneless and a very odd choice for a first single--but the video is a complete stunner. If you thought 'Disturbia' was dark and creepy, that video is a Same Difference routine in comparison to this one. My favorite thing about 'Russian Roulette' is that it's extremely visual but suggests rather than explicitly lays everything out for us. While I enjoy videos that have a plot or something else going on besides people standing around looking pretty, it's also a relief to see a video like 'Russian Roulette' that efficiently creates an atmosphere and builds on it with every shot.



Lady GaGa 'Bad Romance' # # # # #

If you, like me, thought nothing would ever top the richness of Lady GaGa's 'Paparazzi' video, then prepare yourself for the visual masterwork that is her follow-up: 'Bad Romance.' It's almost hard to put into words what makes this video so stunning, so awe-worthy, so laudatory since everytime I watch it I'm left completely speechless by the time the last frame rolls around, but I'll try my damnedest. Since the video's premiere a few days ago, I've heard people complain that it is indeed beautiful, but much of what makes it unique (the polar bear rug outfit, for example) is totally unnecessary. I can see that viewpoint, but I'm afraid I have to completely disagree. Lady GaGa is an artist who, over the past months, has come to represent everything great about how excess can be an asset to a pop artist. She works primarily in this excess and the 'Bad Romance' video is a visual celebration of all that. The lushness of the sets and costumes can become over the top, but I think they serve a greater purpose than just for people to remark, "Oh that Lady GaGa and her weird costumes!" The scene where the dancers are crawling out of those laboratory pods wearing white spandex outfits with white masks almost covering their entire face is supposed to visually reinforce their emergence out from this cocoon-like existence, blind to everything in this strange new world; they're in their caterpillar stage ready to morph into a butterfly. Even the polar bear rug could be thought of as representing GaGa's killer instinct and a way of foreshadowing the eventual fate for the man who purchases her. Then there are the tiny moments where GaGa stares into the camera that punctuate this harsh clip with a certain deranged beauty. All of these shots--GaGa with the big round eyes, GaGa with the one tear sliding down her cheek, GaGa looking exactly like Amy Winehouse, GaGa wearing dark sunglasses and looking directly into the mirror--could have been complete throwaways but actually add to the intensity of the overall video. After the cred she got from 'Paparazzi,' this video didn't have to be good and could have just been another disappointing 'Poker Face.' I'm glad, however, that at least one artist is still challenging themselves creatively outside of the studio.

Blake Lively is the Whore of Babylon

Just look at the evidence below!

Okay, so I realize that she's filming an episode of Gossip Girl and it's really Serena who is a big fat whore, but isn't it fun to call her that? Working or not, I'm completely jealous that she's making out with the two hottest guys on the show (off-screen boyfriend Penn Badgley and Leighton Meester's man Sebastian Stan). NOT FAIR.

Yeah, I said it, Sebastien.

(Pictures via Just Jared)

2009 Half-Year Ending Report

Here we are. 2009 is already half done and, damn that just flew by, didn't it? I figured it was high time for a progress report on my favorites in a host of random categories. I'm not sure how many of these will still be here come December, but these will more than do for the moment.

Top 5 Films:

Honorable Mention: Confessions of a Shopaholic (P.J. Hogan) The first film to deal with the immediate impact of the recession. Plus, as an added bonus, features an uproarious performance from Isla Fisher with ample support from a swoon-worthy Hugh Dancy.

5. Star Trek (J.J. Abrams)
A rare critical and commercial blockbuster success that's actually enjoyable. No excessive dramatics, no dumb romantic subplots, just good, clean action and comedy.
4. Sunshine Cleaning (Christine Jeffs)
Nothing groundbreaking, but a keenly observed and quietly moving entry into much-maligned "quirky indie comedy" subgenre. I'd rather have more films like this than Transformers.
3. The Brothers Bloom (Rian Johnson)
The 30's screwball meets the quirky indie comedy meets Ocean's 11. A perfectly charming cast and seeing Rinko Kikuchi blow shit up makes this film a can't-miss.
2. Adventureland (Greg Mottola)
With this, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and, hopefully, (500) Days of Summer, the young adult romantic comedy has finally come of age. The stone-faced goddess Kristen Stewart casts a magical spell, enchanting both Jesse Eisenberg's lost college graduate and audience members willing to go the extra mile for her.

1. Up (Pete Docter and Bob Peterson)
It may not be as much of a technical marvel as last year's WALL-E, but you'll be hard pressed to find a more emotionally involving movie, let alone another animated movie. For the first time ever, a film has moved me to tears...and not just a little teary eyed, I'm talking me, sitting in the back of the theatre, water gushing from my eyes like a leaky faucet every 10 or so minutes.

Top 5 Performances:
Honorable Mention: Sasha Grey, The Girlfriend Experience Technically not very interesting and not much beyond the average episode of The Hills, but in the context of the film it works wonderfully.

5. Beyoncé, Obsessed
"You listen to me. You know exactly who this is. You came into my house? You touched my child? You think you're crazy? I'll show you crazy. Just try me, bitch." Between this and that final fight in which she headbutts Ali Larter and utters the line "I'ma wipe the floor wit yo skinny ass," Beyoncé has proved that she is beyond competent in at least one genre: camp.

4. Adrien Brody, Rinko Kikuchi, Mark Ruffalo & Rachel Weisz, The Brothers Bloom
Impeccable ensemble work; none of these performances could have existed without the others.

3. Isla Fisher, Confessions of a Shopaholic
After amazingly hilarious supporting turns in films as mediocre as Wedding Crashers and Definitely, Maybe, Fisher gets the chance to finally headline her first film and boy does she deliver. On most actresses, her loud, over-the-top and nearly insane style of comedy would be too much, but on Fisher it's endearing and utterly can't-catch-your-breath funny.

2. Emily Blunt, Sunshine Cleaning
I liked her (not as much as most people, though) in The Devil Wears Prada, but her performance in Sunshine Cleaning trumps that one easily. It's a shame that she flew under the radar because I can think of few examples of monologues that are as moving as the one she gives when she's confessing to her new friend about the death of her mother.

1. Drew Barrymore & Jessica Lange, Grey Gardens
Flashy, but not excessively so. Lived in, but not too familiar. Stylized, but not annoyingly so. Everything Barrymore & Lange do (giving the best performances I've ever seen from either of them) is nearly perfect. That explosive final confrontation scene between them blisters with pain and hurt and might just be one of my favorite scenes of the year thusfar.

Top 5 Rentals:
Honorable Mention: Nanook of the North (Robert Flaherty, 1922) The first "documentary" isn't exactly a documentary by today's standards, but how can you get that nit-picky over a film this beautiful that single-handedly created a new film style.

5. The Marriage of Maria Braun (Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1979)
The rise of modern Germany after the fall of Hitler shown through the eyes of Maria Braun, a determined young bride doing anything she can to get ahead in life and be with her perennially absent husband.
4. Two for the Road (Stanley Donen, 1967)
Although the British New Wave tricks are a touch annoying, Donen has crafted an honest, alternatively sad and funny look at a marriage from its humble beginnings to disintegrating end. Albert Finney has never been more likeable (give or take Erin Brockovich) and this may be Audrey Hepburn giving her greatest performance while also looking her most chic (both in competition with Breakfast at Tiffany's)
3. Design for Living (Ernst Lubitsch, 1933)
A dazzling, superbly adapted version of Noel Coward's play of the same name featuring a sexy Gary Cooper, Fredric March at the height of his charm and one of the most underrated actresses of the 30's, Miriam Hopkins, doing what she does best.
2. Masculin féminin (Jean-Luc Godard, 1966)
Godard's fast-paced, dizzying look at the "children of Marx and Coca-Cola" is not only one of his most enjoyable films, it's also up there with Rebel Without a Cause as one of the greatest films about youth ever made. It may be hard for some to ignore the basic misogyny of Godard's vision, but Jean-Pierre Léaud (in his best non-Antoine Doinel performance) and Chantal Goya are so endearing and brimming with charm that you pretty much forget that.
1. I'll Cry Tomorrow (Daniel Mann, 1955)
On the surface, I'll Cry Tomorrow appears to be nothing more than your average 50's star biopic, but dig a little deeper and you'll find one of the most gruesome, dirty and downright ugly depictions of alcoholism ever to come from a studio film. Figure in a career-best performance from Susan Hayward and Jo Van Fleet as her stage mother from hell and you have an all-around fantastic movie.

Top 5 Albums:
Honorable Mention: None Technically this should go to Kelly Clarkson's All I Ever Wanted but I'm docking points for taking a step back after the brilliant and ballsy My December.

5. Royksopp, Junior
Crazy, out there (for me anyways) electro dance pop with a few shining moments.
Key Track: 'The Girl and the Robot' featuring Robyn
4. Melinda Doolittle, Coming Back to You
Melinda Doolittle doing what she did best on Idol: singing. Her retro soul throwback was one of the highlights of the year so far but you can see just how little attention she got.
Key Track: 'It's Your Love'
3. Little Boots, Hands
An album so interesting and listenable that even only on one listen I'm confident in declaring it one of the year's best.
Key Track: 'Meddle'
2. Lily Allen, It's Not Me, It's You
Lily's back and with a vengenace, taking on celebrity mania, boyfriends with small dicks and President Bush.
Key Track: 'Chinese'

1. Agnes Dance Love Pop
Pure silly 90's-era pop. I loved every minute of it.
Key Track: 'Release Me'

Top 5 Singles:
Honorable Mention: David Archuleta 'Touch My Hand' Archie at his most endearing. 3 1/2 minutes of cheesy pop perfection.
5. Lady GaGa 'Poker Face'
I don't know why, but "Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun" is one of the most ingenious lyrics I've heard in a while.
4. Girls Aloud 'Untouchable'
The single version is as good as you can get by editing a 6+ minute masterpiece into 3 1/2, but the album version is where it's at. Pure electropop magic. In 20 years, this is the song our kids will still be talking about.
3. La Roux 'Bulletproof'
This British import is like an mad combination of Tilda Swinton and Annie Lennox who will soon grace the United States with her fantastic presence. Check out her UK #1 hit before it hits the big time over here and you can say "I knew her when..."
2. Leona Lewis 'Run'
It's still the most beautiful song I've ever heard.
1. Jesse McCartney 'How Do You Sleep'
Not only is it the finest song on Jesse Mac's Departure album, it is also probably one of the most perfect summer songs ever.

Top 5 Bonus Tracks, B-Sides, Remixes & Assorted Non-Singles:
Honorable Mention: Dan Black 'HYPNTZ' A white guy singing Biggie's "Hypnotize" over the beat to Rihanna's "Umbrella." This really shouldn't work, but somehow it does.

5. Kris Allen 'Heartless'
A white guy doing an acoustic version of Kanye's 'Heartless'. This shouldn't have worked, but it did and was Kris's shining moment during his incredible Idol run.
4. Agnes 'Love Love Love [Extended Version]'
What's better than 3 minutes of 'Love Love Love'? How about 5 minutes of a gloriously beautiful version of 'Love Love Love'.
3. David Archuleta 'Zero Gravity'
This song is possibly better than 'Touch My Hand', 'Crush' and his version of 'With You' put together.
2. Girls Aloud 'Memory of You'
Girls Aloud's best B-side (if you don't count 'Singapore', that is) and it's still a total mystery why it wasn't included on Out of Control- it fits right in perfectly.
1. Leighton Meester 'Birthday'
Our second glimpse (after her cover of 'Bette Davis Eyes') into the amazing musical talent that is Leighton Meester. The song is still as stunning as when I first wrote about it.

Top 5 Obsessions:
Honorable Mention: The Downfall of those Jon & Kate Plus 8 Assholes I hated them with a passion before so you can tell I'm happy that their "perfect" life is crumbling apart.

5. Kristen Stewart's Obsessive Hair Move
I've been working on my own imitation of it, but nothing will ever match the way Stewart runs her fingers through her hair every 20 seconds.
4. (500) Days of Summer
I hope Oprah is kind to me and doesn't make me wait too much after this film opens in a limited release to expand to my area. I can't wait much more for a dancing Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the one they used to call Anal Girl!
3. Leighton Meester & Sebastian Stan (Meestan)
A better celebrity couple than Brangelina times infinity. There, I said it.
2. Zac Efron and 17 Again
Honestly, this film was my Twilight. I saw it twice on opening weekend despite how bad it is.
1. Kris Allen on American Idol
Don't believe me? Well, you obviously missed January through May here on the blog.

Top 5 (New) Hot Guys:
Honorable Mention: Andrew Garfield Adorable and instantly lovable in Boy A.

5. Alain Delon & Gary Cooper
I had seen an Alain Delon movie before (the oddly titled Have I the Right to Kill?) but The Leopard just solidified his hotness in my mind. Every movie should now legally be required to have at least five minutes of Alain Delon close-ups, don't you think? Gary Cooper, on the other hand, may seem like an odd choice to everyone who knows him through his later work. But back in the early to mid-30's, Coop was one of the sexiest men in Hollywood. I didn't realize this until I rented a five movie collection of his work and boy was I in for a treat. Perfectly dashing in a tux in Design for Living but when he takes off his shirt in The General Died at Dawn or gets all homoerotic in The Lives of a Bengal Lancer, my heart just melted.

4. Sebastian Stan
Not only is he dating my favorite woman on the planet currently, but he's also so odd looking that he becomes cute. And he can act, which is always a plus in my book.

3. Chris Pine
I never really cared before, but Star Trek was just too much for me to resist. He's funny and yummy- you have no idea how rare that combo is.

2. Chad White
Name not ringing a bell? Here's a refresher.

1. Kris Allen
His beautiful face!

Top 5 Blog Posts:
Honorable Mention: Why Isn't Reece Thompson Hired for Every Movie Ever? Seriously. With the young adult romantic comedy coming of age, where are all the parts for the enormously gifted comedian?

5. OH NO THE BITCH DID NOT JUST SAY THAT
My reaction to Hilary Duff's boneheaded response to Faye Dunaway's personal reaction to the news of Duff being cast in a "reimagining" of Bonnie and Clyde.
4. The Most Hated Woman in America
Everyone hates Katy Allen because she's married to the most gorgeous man on the planet (and newest American Idol!) Kris Allen.
3. 10 Favorite Movie Characters
I pick my favorite movie characters ever and, in the process, learn a little something about myself.
2. Lady GaGa Knows Her Stuff
A flash of creativity on my part inspired by The GaGa's 'Boys, Boys, Boys' and, well, you guessed it, a smorgasbord of boys.
1. 25 Favorite Performances of the TV Season
My most popular post of the year so far (and possibly ever). Leighton Meester is apparently still a controversial #1, but I will continue to stand by it.