Why Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure is a Terrible, Terrible Idea

I've avoided talking about this project for months now in the hopes that it was all some sick joke gone horribly wrong. But, since the film has actually started shooting, I now know that this is a sad, sad reality. The film I'm talking about is, of course, Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure, a Disney Channel sequel to the ever popular HSM Trilogy featuring our very own La Tisdale reprising her role of sparkly diva Sharpay Evans. So why am I denying this film like I'm a certain Iranian president and Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure is the Holocaust? Well, here are a few reasons

• Completely Unnecessary When HSM3 ended with that should-be infamous final jump in the air and emotional curtain call, it was the perfect send-off for both the fans and the cast. The curtain closed on their high school lives, and everything that took place in East High was left to the past. There's absolutely no reason to make another movie with these characters. They are creatures of their high school environment, and I want to envision them in their prime when the whole world was their oyster. Encountering them after high school would be like seeing Ferris Bueller, the Breakfast Club or Cher Horowitz post-high school. Honestly, I couldn't care less about the fabulous adventures of Miss Evans outside of East High. Nothing will ever top her divalicious exploits trying to steal the spotlight back from Troy and Gabriella, so why bother? Her chemistry with Grabeel and Efron was absolutely perfect (seriously, while listening to 'I Want It All' earlier today, I marveled at just how in sync La Tisdale and Grabeel were and how much they truly "got" each other). Will she ever be able to get that with Austin Butler? Doubt it.
  
• The State of the DCOM The HSM movies are not well-made movies. They have plot holes five miles long and the production values were often nothing more then a second thought. But there's an undeniable charm running through these films that makes up for any inconsistencies and lapses in taste. Camp Rock was so bad in every conceivable way it was impossible to look away. I was embarrassed the whole time I had willingly subjected myself to that film, yet I actually felt something during that one. Wish I could say the same about the last three Disney Channel Original Movies I have seen. Princess Protection Program, Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie and StarStruck all wasted talented youngsters in films that were the dreaded Double D: dull and dumb. I fear that Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure will fall in with these latter films. And who wants to watch La Tisdale dumbed down by awful material?
  
• La Tisdale Needs to Move On Efron has gone onto Hairspray, 17 Again and, this summer, Charlie St. Cloud. Grabeel had a nice bit part in Van Sant's Milk. Even Vanessa Hudgens has gotten work in a Zack Snyder movie. So why is La Tisdale still slumming it in DCOMs and awful-sound TV shows like her upcoming Hellcats, which happens to be about a high school cheerleading squad? She clearly has the talent to move out of the Disney ghetto. She even has a naughty persona just waiting to emerge with the right material. La Tisdale isn't getting any younger (she's nearly 25) and, like it or not, goodwill from HSM won't last forever. She needs to prove her worth and take a risk in the real world, not once again use the same tricks to show us why she's one of the best things Disney has ever created. With Miley and Demi so desperately trying to break free from Disney's constraints, it makes you wonder why La Tisdale so desperately wants to remain under them.
  

Will I watch Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure when it premieres? Hell to the yes! I'll support anything this talented woman does. And I'm sure she'll be her wonderfully charismatic self in the movie. But I will not stand back silently when I see her wasting her talents on dreck far beneath her. She can do Sharpay in her sleep now. Let's give her a new challenge to spark those creative muscles, okay?

(Photo via Just Jared Jr.)

Look at Me, Ma. I'm a College Graduate!

Anyone remember this jam? I literally haven't heard it in 10 years.

In other news, I am old.

Also, I'm really hoping that my commencement goes something like this today.

I think we all know which character I want to be.

Ten Essential Film Performances of the 2000's

In no particular order, here are the most essential film performances of the past decade (NOT necessarily the best, just the ones that defined to decade for me).

Casey Affleck
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
For taking his in-bred awkwardness and making it work for the character. For working in a homoerotic subtext into this butch, Western biopic. For that post-Jesse epilogue, a tragic figure on the fall.


Dame Judi Dench
Notes on a Scandal
For continuing to surprise us and, even at 75, challenge herself. For playing into the film's camp aesthetic but never descending into hopeless theatrics. For scaring the shit out of me.


Anne Hathaway
Rachel Getting Married
For producing the decade's definitive "star is born" performance. For working her way up the old fashioned way and gaining valuable experience at every pit stop. For taking a stock character and performing it in such a way that it completely becomes her own.


Nicole Kidman
Dogville
For taking her auteur lust to a whole new level. For braving a role which relies solely on her face and body language. For proving time and time again that she's the bravest actress of our time.


Heath Ledger
Brokeback Mountain
For taking a mumbling, impenetrable, almost unlikable character and turning him into the unlikeliest romantic hero in ages. For his emotional breakdown after an entire film of emotional stoicism.


Julianne Moore
The Hours
For pushing her minimalistic acting to its breaking point. For her wonderfully warm and expressive face. For being the best in show with a movie featuring Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman and Toni Collette.


Julia Roberts
Erin Brockovich
For combining her decade-in-the-making star persona and natural charisma with a new found dramatic flair. For ditching her vanity and dropping some f-bombs. For her comedic timing on lines like, "That's all you've got: two left feet and fucking ugly shoes."


Uma Thurman
Kill Bill Volume 1 and 2
For providing the decade's one true iconic character. For trusting in Tarantino and his blood hungry vision. For having fun slicing limbs off the Crazy 88's.


Ashley Tisdale
The High School Musical Trilogy
For unleashing a comedic firestorm unlike anything Disney has ever seen. For proving that "Disney" isn't always synonymous with bad acting. For creating a tween character "type." For adding humanity to a one-note character.


Catherine Zeta-Jones
Chicago
For turning on the charisma full throttle. For matching the film's high-kicking, electric energy. For rocking a Louise Brooks bob. For proving that she, yes, can do it alone.

My Films of the 2000's: #40-21

Previous installment: #60-41


40. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Starring: Ellen Burstyn, Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly

Like many people, Requiem for a Dream has scarred me for life. If I was ever likely to try heroin at any point in my life, that was squashed right at the moment Jared Leto revealed his blackened arm. My God, I just think about that image and get shivers.

39. Borat (2006)
Director: Larry Charles
Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen

A sociological study of Americans as they truly behave that I laughed my ass of throughout most of the runtime. How many movies can you say that about? In any ordinary studio film, Sacha Baron Cohen's schtick would have gotten old ten minutes in. Thankfully, the decision to shoot the film documentary style keeps Cohen engaging and on his toes, ready and willing to do nearly anything to get a laugh. My brother and I were nearly on the floor we were laughing so hard during the naked fight scene.

38. Julia (2009)
Director: Erick Zonca
Starring: Tilda Swinton, Kate del Castillo, Aidan Gold

Tilda Swinton is a goddess. The rest of the movie ain't too shabby either. If only all kidnap-gone-wrong movies were this exciting, unnerving and oddly touching all at the same time.

37. The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
Director: Paul Greengrass
Starring: Matt Damon, Joan Allen, David Strathairn

I've admitted my action movie bias before, but I was able to overcome it with The Bourne Ultimatum. After the end credits starting rolling, I just sat in my seat completely dazed by what had just transpired. The film is a pure adrenaline rush--"Godard on crack" I believe I once called it--that makes its cheap imitators look calm and subdued with every jarring jump cut and the so-shaky-I-don't-know-who-I'm-following cinematography.

36. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
Director: Judd Apatow
Starring: Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Catherine Keener

Judd Apatow's first film is still his best. Even at two hours, the film remains fresh and never feels bloated or overlong unlike his two follow-ups.

35. Spirited Away (2002)
Director: Hayao Miyazaki

The most beautiful animated film I've ever seen.

34. Legally Blonde (2001)
Director: Robert Luketic
Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Coolidge, Luke Wilson

The moment Reese Witherspoon became a legitimate bankable star. And I've done the "Bend and Snap" way too many times even for a gay man.

33. Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
Director: Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris
Starring: Toni Collette, Greg Kinnear, Abigail Breslin, Steve Carell, Paul Dano, Alan Arkin

The little quirky indie comedy that could. I'm sure it is popular now to hate on this movie in the wake of it's immense success (hello, Juno!) but I still adore the Hoover family, their multitude of (mental and physical) crises and their bright yellow Volkswagen bus. As an added bonus, Abigail Breslin's unpretentious and unaffected performance as the eponymous Olive is one of the very few child actor performances I can stomach. And you have to give her props for pulling off that musical number; I roared with laughter when I saw this at the theatre.

32. Bright Young Things (2003)
Director: Stephen Fry
Starring: Stephen Campbell Moore, Emily Mortimer, Fenella Woolgar

If Gossip Girl had taken place in 1930's Britain, it would look exactly like Stephen Fry's Bright Young Things. Not especially deep, but the film is frivolous, fast-paced and fun, with an incredible cast consisting of old timers (Stockard Channing, Imelda Staunton) and then up-and-comers (Emily Mortimer, James McAvoy).

31. Adventureland (2009)
Director: Greg Mottola
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Kristen Wiig

Whereas Mottola's Superbad was crude, crass and balls-out funny, Adventureland is nostalgic, achingly sweet and even a bit melancholic at times. Two moments stick out for me like I had just seen the movie yesterday: the bodacious Lisa P.'s enticing dance and Kristen Stewart blankly staring out the windshield with the wind blowing through her hair while 'Don't Dream It's Over' plays dreamily over the background.


30. District 9 (2009)
Director: Neill Blomkamp
Starring: Sharlto Copley

I wanted to vomit. I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to hide. I'm pretty sure I felt every possible human emotion throughout the course of District 9. I loved every minute of it.

29. WALL-E (2008)
Director: Andrew Stanton

The idea of an animated film about robot wandering a post-apocalyptic planet Earth, I must admit, was a bit of a hard sell. However, it didn't take much convincing after the Chaplinesque pathos of the first half, which I was immediately taken by. Who knew the romance of two robots could be so beautiful?

28. Bad Education (2004)
Director: Pedro Almodóvar
Starring: Gael Garcia Bernal, Fele Martinez

I seem to have a thing for movies where Gael Garcia Bernal makes out with men. That's so unlike me, I know. Bernal sexiness aside, this is my favorite Almodóvar film. The mystery is fascinating and keeps you engaged throughout the entire runtime. And Bernal works overtime playing three different roles, remaining an impossibly indecipherable enigma.

27. Memento (2001)
Director: Christopher Nolan
Starring: Guy Pearce, Carrie Anne Moss

It's been 3 1/2 years since I first saw Memento, and I'm still working out what it all meant.

26. The Pianist (2002)
Director: Roman Polanski
Starring: Adrien Brody

Not just another Holocaust movie. Frighteningly realistic, downright grimy and all too horrific to believe, it's the Holocaust as we don't like to think about. The fact that Roman Polanski lived through the horrors makes it all the more discomforting to watch; it's almost as if watching his experience first-hand.

25. The HSM Trilogy (2006-8)
Director: Kenny Ortega
Starring: Zac Efron, La Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel, Vanessa Hudgens

My increasing fascination with the tween subculture can be credited to one summer day in 2007 when I decided to see what all this fuss about High School Musical was about. I wasn't crazy about the first, aside from La Tisdale's epic performance of course, but I couldn't deny there was something about their inherent badness that hooked me. I caught the second film when it premiered later on that summer and, while it was technically even worse than the first, I couldn't deny my rising infatuation with La Tisdale's divaliciousness or Zac Efron's beautiful face. By the time the third installment came, it was preceded by a 6+ month anticipation that could barely contain itself by the time it premiered in October of 2008. Who would have guessed that the third would not only be the best of the series but also a legitimately good film in its own right? If nothing else, the HSM Trilogy proved to me that some of the greatest actors around are hiding in the Disney Ghetto, just waiting to be discovered and make it to the big time. Without this trilogy, just think: I probably wouldn't have encountered Demi Lovato, Sterling Knight, Tiffany Thornton or the JONAS girls. Scary thought, indeed.

24. In Bruges (2008)
Director: Martin McDonagh
Starring: Colin Farrel, Brendan Gleeson, Liam Neeson

In retrospect, a dialogue-heavy, (black) comedic meditation on life, death, guilt sounds right up my alley. Initially, however, I was a bit skeptical. Imagine my surprise when the movie ended and I thought to myself, "Damn, everything about this movie just worked." There aren't many movies out there that you can say that about.

23. Dreamgirls (2006)
Director: Bill Condon
Starring: Beyoncé, Jennifer Hudson, Jamie Foxx, Eddie Murphy

All of my favorite things combined into one movie: black female belters, divas, glitter, showstopping musical numbers, the early 60's, Beyoncé wearing ridiculous fashions. You can't ask for much than that, can you? Oh yes you can. How about a showstopping, jaw-dropping performance from American Idol alum Jennifer Hudson that earned at least three rounds of applause in the theatre I saw it in (all of which I joined in enthusiastically)? Or a much maligned performance from Beyoncé that only looked shallow and undercooked because the character required it? Haters to the left (to the left)--I don't need to hear it anymore.

22. Monster in Law (2005)
Director: Robert Luketic
Starring: Jane Fonda, J. Lo, Wanda Sykes

To this day, I do not understand all the venomous hatred that has been spewed toward this film. Sure, as the first Jane Fonda film in 15 years it is a bit on the fluffy side, but so what? She's vibrant, full of life and, what else, funny as hell as the future mother-in-law hellbent on trying to split up her son (Michael Vartan) from his new fiancée (J. Lo at her breeziest and funniest). Monster in Law is a romantic comedy without all the gushy romantic garbage, replaced with hilarious one-liners (provided mostly by the always great Wanda Sykes) and fast-paced slapstick comedy. If I'm a cinematic neanderthal for liking this movie, then so be it. I will never back down.

21. Bring It On (2000)
Director: Peyton Reed
Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Jesse Bradford, Eliza Dushku

It has been ten years and whenever someone around me says, "Brrrr," I still have the urge to finish with "...It's cold in here! There must be some Toros in the at-mosphere!" And there are so many smaller moments that I remember quoting endlessly in junior high when my Bring It On fanaticism was at its peak that still make me giggle with fondness whenever I think back on them (my favorite: "Jan got spirit, yes he do/Jan got spirit, how about you?" "Dude, you just lost" *silence*). This was the sports movie made for gay men: no bullshit clichés and inspirational moments, just good old-fashioned wit, bitchiness, clever one-liners and highly choreographed routines. You can't ask for much more than that.

22 Reasons to Wish Zac Efron a Happy 22nd Birthday

1.

'Without Love' from Hairspray.
I almost peed my pants.
I fell in love.

2.
He has my shoes.

3.
He knows the importance of personal hygiene, unlike another certain teenage heartthrob out there.

4.

Guest Starring on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
He makes out with La Tisdale.
An unhealthy obsession with a fake celebrity couple begins.

5.
He opened HSM3 sweaty and practically having an orgasm.

6.
He's smart enough to tease us but not give away the goods.

7.

'Bet On It' from HSM2
He had the courage to do this musical number with a straight face.
He sings to his reflection in the water.

8.
There must be a lost version of Hairspray where Corny and Link got it on, right?

9.
Sterling Knight is his son.

10.

'Scream' from HSM3
Teen angst never looked so hot.

11.
He looks like La Roux.

12.

Interview with La Tisdale
He's a sarcastic asshole.
You don't know how attractive that is to me.


13.
He looks good at the beach.

14.
He's total cougar bait and Leslie Mann's best looking on-screen husband

15.


'Ladies' Choice' from Hairspray
He basically sells himself to the highest bidder.
And the gyration. Oh, the gyration!

16.
A roll in the dirt never sounded so good.

17.

HSM4 Skit on SNL
He can take a joke and realizes the HSM trilogy for what they were.

18.
He'd go to jail to tap that.

19.
He gets mentioned on Sonny With a Chance
"Because it's my wall. And I like saying I banned Zac Efron. There will come a day when Zac Efron comes knocking on that door and he's like, 'Hey, can I come in?' And I'll be like 'Oh no. You're banned.'"

20.
And 30 Rock
"He looks like Zac Efron. That's a thing, right?"

21.

'You Are the Music in Me' from HSM2
He's La Tisdale's ideal "duet" partner.

22.
Because he's a sexy bitch and my future husband.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAC!

How Do You Solve a Problem Like La Tisdale?

La Tisdale's much-hyped second album, the peculiarly titled Guilty Pleasure, came and went with nary a mention on this blog. I bet you found that odd given my La Tisdale obsession and my crazed reaction to the single cover for goodness sake, but I have my reasons. Mainly, the album is a complete piece of crap--maybe even worse than Headstrong--and doesn't highlight La Tisdale's best assets as a vocalist and entertainer. In countless interviews, she kept describing her sound as more mature and edgier, but nothing about the resulting album showed that. The first single, 'It's Alright, It's OK,' was a Kelly Clarkson-ripoff that sounded decent the first couple of times but grew repetitive and eventually had me yearning to press the next button on my iTunes whenever it came on. I hoped against hope that it was a case of the bad first single disguising a pretty decent album like Beyoncé's 'Deja Vu' and the resulting B'day, but, unfortunately, things didn't work out that way. Nearly every song on the album sounds the same with it's pop-rock beats, loud chanty choruses and lyrics that sound like leftovers from Clarkson's middling All I Ever Wanted. The only listenable song on the album is 'Switch,' a far cry from the genius that is her masterpiece 'He Said She Said.'

Somewhere along the way, La Tisdale confused "mature" with "sounding like every generic pop singer yearning to break away from her pop roots." What she (and most American musicians) doesn't realize is that there is a way to sound more mature without being forced to do Clarkson-lite material. Just look across the pond for numerous examples of artists who do pop music that is sleek, contemporary and not aimed at only the kiddies: Girls Aloud, Sugababes, Alphabeat, Alesha Dixon, Pixie Lott, Robyn, etc. Plus, and even I can admit this, La Tisdale doesn't have the strongest voice around, so she can't belt like Kelly can to cover up a less than adequate song. She needs strong production and catchy hooks, much like Britney did on her Blackout album. Without someone pushing her into this direction, she is basically resigning herself to becoming another mediocre Disney musician forever trying to transition into adulthood. She doesn't want that and I for sure don't want that. She has the talent and the drive to become a dance pop goddess, now she just needs to make it happen.

Here We Go Again

My favorite celebrity couple that isn't actually a couple reunited the other night at the Teen Choice Awards. That's all I got--I'm just in awe of how sexy they are together.

For Her Fabulous Birthday, She Wants It All

I'm on my way out the door, but I just wanted to wish the fiercest diva (under 30, anyways) of them all, two-time Diva Cup Award-winning actress La Tisdale, a happy 24th birthday! How can you celebrate at home, you ask? Why, it's easy! Just follow these directions:

Act silly

Buy a cake with her picture on it

Be completely fierce everywhere you go

Things I Loved About Last Night's MTV Movie Awards

Listen, I'm not going to argue that the MTV Movie Awards is a show that needs to be taken seriously or that their nominees and winners signify the end of cinema as we know it or something (especially since my picks won three of the Top 5 awards). They're stupid, harmless fun and that's all they've ever been. I just really hate it whenever someone gets a bug up their ass and yammers on and on about the "tweenification" of the culture and points to this as an example. Well, duh. MTV has always been aimed at this demographic and their Movie Awards show that. It's like blaming the Teen Choice Awards for thinking Hayden Christensen is the best actor of any year. Anyways, let's get a move on and discuss the highlights of last night.

Leighton Meester looking like the hot diva she is.

Anna Faris's reaction (fast forward to the 56 second mark) after getting robbed losing Best Comedic Performance to Jim Carrey.

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner introducing the much-hyped sneak peek at New Moon. As much as I dislike Twilight and Robert Pattinson, you have to find it amazing that the producers are willing to risk a multi-billion dollar movie franchise on two leads who can't speak in public or be fake "charming" like other movie stars. They are totally awkward when not on set and I kinda love that.

Speaking of Kristen Stewart being awkward...



I know that there are many, many of you out there who completely disagree with me, but this is exactly why I love Kristen Stewart. Not only is she uncomfortable with the limelight, she's also has no idea how to craft a great soundbyte. Plus, you've got to love that after pulling a Bella and dropping the award she just won, she goes back up there and complete owns her awkardness and clumsiness by saying, "That was just as awkward as you thought it was going to be! Bye." What a goddess.


LA TISDALE WON BREAKTHROUGH FEMALE PERFORMANCE! I know it may not seem like much to all of the haters, but this win felt completely genuine over some of the more obvious choices like Twilight and Efron for Best Male Performance (not that it wasn't justly deserved). My apologies to Pinto, Seyfreid and Dennings, but it felt to me that this award would come down between Miley and Vanessa with La Tisdale as the dark horse. La Tisdale winning proves that the tweens were voting based on genuine talent and future capabilities, not just "comedic timing," "musical talent," their personal lives or tabloid-ready exploits. La Tisdale took Sharpay, relegated to the background in HSM3, and with a bit of sass, wit and musical chops, she beat the two stars of their respective movies. Way to go tweens for getting it right!

As an added bonus, let's take a gander at this threesome of hotness. Yum.

Because I Can't Resist an Easy Target

A couple of days ago, MTV announced their nominees for their annual Movie Awards (which has produced some illustrious winners as Napoleon Dynamite for Best Movie and The Governator, Keanu Reeves and Jim Carrey--for Ace Ventura!--as Best Actor) and since they're both stupid beyond relief and as ridiculous as always, they're a prime target for my comments. Prepare the snark-fest!

Best Movie
The Dark Knight
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Iron Man
Slumdog Millionaire
Twilight

Wow, we're actually off to a decent start here. Way to go, MTV! It's not exactly what I would have chosen, but it's no worse than Oscar's picks this year. Shitdog is the worst of the bunch here, no surprise, but the nominees include two mediocre, bordering on dislike films (Iron Man and Twilight) and two quality crowd-pleasers (Dark Knight and HSM3); compare to Oscar with two shits (Shitdog and F/N), two mediocre (Benjamin Button and Reader) and one excellent film (Milk). Not bad for an award's show aimed solely at the masses.

Who I Voted for: High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Best Actor
Christian Bale, The Dark Knight
Robert Downey, Jr., Iron Man
Vin Diesel, Fast & Furious
Zac Efron, High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Shia LaBeouf, Eagle Eye

And now is the point where MTV shows their true colors. Best Actor has traditionally been their worst category, often awarding some idiot action star for kicking ass or something of the sorts. This year? What do you know, four of the five nominees are in meatheaded action films. I normally enjoy Christian Bale and RDJ and they both gave serviceable performances, but not exactly earth-shattering or even that interesting. I haven't seen Eagle Eye, but I sincerely doubt my favorite person on the planet Shia LaBeouf was even given a chance to act in that one. And when I think of actors stretching their acting muscles, my mind goes straight to Vin Diesel in Fast & Furious. I'm sure there were scenes full of depth and pathos when Vin was driving in the 14th race in the film. Ugh.

Who I Voted for: Zac Efron, High School Musical 3: Senior Year (Did Efron have to act much? I don't think so. But he radiated as much charisma and movie star charm as RDJ did in a much, much better film)

Best Actress
Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Angelina Jolie, Wanted
Anne Hathaway, Bride Wars
Kristen Stewart, Twilight
Kate Winslet, The Reader

What. the. fuck. This is, without a doubt, the most fucked up, random list of nominees you could ever generate--and only one (okay, two...in parts) legitimately good performance. Angelina Jolie was better in Wanted than she was in her Oscar-nominated performance in Changeling, but that's really not saying much. Taraji P. Henson gave the best performance but, yet again, that's really not saying much either. I love me some Winslet, but The Reader is far from her best performance (and I'm curious why the tweens voted for her...surely they didn't see this movie). Now that we've gotten those out of the way, let's discuss Anne Hathaway, shall we? I love this woman and this love only grows deeper every day, but her "performance" in Bride Wars was a trainwreck from beginning to end. It's not really her fault--there was absolutely nothing she could have done to turn that piece of shit character to get more comedy out of it--but if you we're going to nominate her for something, why not Get Smart, which wasn't great but better in comparison or Rachel Getting Married, since they were already in the mood for "weird," Oscar pictures.

Who I Voted for: Kristen Stewart, Twilight

Breakthrough Male
Ben Barnes, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Taylor Lautner, Twilight
Dev Patel, Slumdog Millionaire
Robert Pattinson, Twilight
Bobb'e J. Thompson, Role Models

Is there really any doubt that Robert Pattinson is going to win this? I know that this category is basically "Hottest Guy" but I've heard all sorts of bad things about Ben Barnes's performance in Narnia. And Taylor Lautner? Really? He was in Twilight for, what, five minutes. I'm guessing it's just anticipation for New Moon, where he has a much bigger role.

Who I Voted for: Bobb'e J. Thompson, Role Models (He was funny, sure, but any child actor could have said the outrageous lines he was given and but just as good. But do I really have any choice?)

Breakthrough Female
Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
Kat Dennings, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Vanessa Hudgens, High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Freida Pinto, Slumdog Millionaire
Amanda Seyfreid, Mamma Mia!
La Tisdale, High School Musical 3: Senior Year

My favorite category this year by a long shot. Cyrus, Hudgens and Pinto are shi: I know this and you know this. But Amanda Seyfreid?! Kat Dennings?! La FREAKING Tisdale?! Be still my heart!

Who I Voted for: La Tisdale, High School Musical 3: Senior Year (surprise surprise!)

2008 Diva Cup Awards: Best Supporting Actress

Hiam Abbass
The Visitor
Talk about doing a lot with very little. Abbass's character is the traditional self-sacrificing, mother-in-distress we've seen since the beginnings of narrative cinema. This doesn't mean, however, that Abbass's performance is anything short of spectacular. She doesn't do much, but what she does do will break your heart. Motherly love has never been so pure and unconditional. And her scenes with Richard Jenkins? Immaculately underplayed, matching Jenkins and the film exquisitely. I honestly can't wait to dig into Abbass's filmography now (and hopefully get the chance to see her upcoming Lemon Tree).

Penélope Cruz
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
The film before her entrance is a complete mess--a disgusting sexual romp in which a swarmy Javier Bardem tries to bed a straight-laced Rebecca Hall and a sexually liberated (or so she thinks) ScarJo that's so dirty I needed penicillin afterward--but once Penélope Cruz's Maria Elena emerges, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is never the same. Cruz's Maria Elena is beautiful, fiery, passionate and hot-tempered, but also tormented, needy and jealous. Her character goes through 100 different moods and emotions during the course of the film and is written in the usual Woody Allen women-are-neurotic-nutjobs way, but it never feels cheap or shameless. Cruz makes Maria Elena desperately human, driven by the same needs and desires we are--the only difference is they are turned up to eleven for all to see.

Rosemarie DeWitt
Rachel Getting Married
When we first meet DeWitt's Rachel, we come to believe that she is the victim, a pawn trapped in Kym's delirious game of guilt and passing the blame. Later on, however, after Kym's excruciatingly self-centered rehearsal dinner toast, Rachel lashes out at her and we begin to see a different side of her. Is she really the villian in this whole thing? Who knows. Out conception of her is so radically different at this moment that it would take a strong actress to make it work. Thankfully, DeWitt is just the woman this film needs.

Ashley Tisdale
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
From my profile of La Tisdale for the 2008 Supporting Actress Blog-a-thon: "HSM3 is more concerned with the bland relationship between singing jock Troy (Zac Efron) and his annoying sweetheart Gabriella (Vanessa Hudgens) than anything else, so that means all of the supporting characters are relegated to the sidelines even more than before. But that's no problem for La Tisdale, who often does her best work from the edges, upstaging the other hapless performers like nobody's business. When the entire cast is gathered together for the first time at the spring musical tryouts, no one in the cast besides Troy is given much to do, but La Tisdale knows how to focus the attention of a scene on her whenever the script blindly ignores her. Her comedic timing on such simple quips as her sarcastic "Yipee" when the rest of the Wildcats decide to join the play at Gabriella's insistence or "Genius," delivered with such eye-rolling deliciousness when Mrs. Darbus announces the subject of this year's spring musical, is light years ahead of anyone on the cast. Director Kenny Ortega hasn't had to deal with someone with this style of over-the-top, nearly drag queen-esque, comedic chops since Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus (a performer Tisdale is eerily reminiscent of) but, thankfully, he lets her perform with reckless abandon all over the film."

Marisa Tomei
The Wrestler
I have to admit that until last year, I never really cared much about Marisa Tomei's last year. I have never seen her controversial Oscar-winning work in My Cousin Vinny and, in fact, the only two films I had seen of hers until last year were In the Bedroom (don't remember much) and, randomly Chaplin (I've seen this movie at least twice and had no idea she was in it). Then came her subtly crafted performance in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead and I was intrigued by what Ms. Tomei had to offer. And now here we are at The Wrestler, her Oscar-nominated triumph where subtlety is the name of the game. Tomei has everything going against her--no big showy scenes to work with and an absolutely clichéd "whore with a heart of gold" character--yet she still manages to craft an absolutely compelling character. Her best moment is during the scene where she's wandering around the strip club, trying to entice a guy to let her give him a private dance, and she keeps getting rejected. She tries to keep up her spirits, but you can see in her face how much it's hurting her to be rejected just because of her age. It's at this moment that we realize her character is supposed to mirror The Ram's downfall and make it all the more uncomfortable and hard to watch.

If Only There Were Six: Isla Fisher, Definitely, Maybe

Rest of the Top 10: Dianne Wiest, Synecdoche, New York...Anne Consigny, A Christmas Tale...Ari Graynor, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist...Alexis Zegerman, Happy-Go-Lucky

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Penélope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

La Tisdale's New Single Cover, or: Do We Need a Campaign for a Grammy Nomination Now?

"It's Alright, It's OK" is the first single off La Tisdale's follow-up to Headstrong called Guilty Pleasure (clever name, although there's nothing guilty about her). No word yet on an exact release date of either the single or the album, although I'm assuming it's soon because the album has a tentative "Spring" release date. Quite obviously, I can not WAIT for this to come out. No matter how bad that first album was- and let me tell you that as much as I worship La Tisdale, it's a stinker- "He Said She Said" is still the perfect pop single and I'm hoping that Guilty Pleasure has a bunch of songs in this sassy, nearly dirty vein.

Happy Birthday Oprah (Oh and it's My Second Anniversary!)

Let's all stop whatever we are doing and take a moment to give thanks to Our Lord and Saviour, Oprah Winfrey on her birthday today. Just remember: without her, we're nothing. We owe all of our successes to her and her giving nature.

Oh, and by some random act of God....er, Oprah, the second anniversary of Rants of a Diva is also today. Hooray! Thank you, my lovely readers, for your continuing support and enthusiasm in the comments. Without you, I probably would have given this up ages ago, but it's always a pleasure checking my email and seeing even just one or two comments. I'm also grateful that this excursion has connected me with fellow cinephiles from around the world that I never would spoken with otherwise. I love hearing about their opinions and lives outside of the blogosphere and I hope that I will get to talk with more of you in the coming year!

So, as tradition stipulates- although I'm not really sure it's technically a "tradition" after only one year- here are my 21 favorite and best posts from the past year. I hope you take the time to re-read some favorites, discover some hidden gems you may have missed or, if you're new to the site, figure out what exactly is going on in my head. Enjoy, and I hope to keep seeing you in the coming year!

1. Rants on Camp Rock
Apparently, this was quite popular with my readers. Who knew that the one thing everyone could agree on was their hatred of the Brothers Jonas and their incredibly awful made-for-Disney movie?

2. Top 10 Victoria Beckham Quotes from Spice World
The most underrated performance of the 90's, in my opinion, gets the star treatment here as I dissect Victoria Beckham (Adams at the time of this movie) and her delicious comedic timing on odd lines like "...and then there's the little ginger one, full of useless information...about manta rays."

3. Rants on Stolen Kisses
My love for both François Truffaut and Jean-Pierre Léaud grew into an unhealthy obsession after watching Stolen Kisses this past summer. On top of all that, the film also made me understand the public's obsession with sequels and why they can never seem to get enough; too bad very few sequels are even close to being this good.

4. Billy Shakespeare and Zac Efron
Who knew that a post in which I called Zeffirelli's 1968 version of Romeo & Juliet (even after I had seen Baz's version) the best ever made and said that Shakespeare was hella overrated would be my most controversial? Not me.

5. La Tisdale Oscar Campaign
Enjoy this series of posts devoted to getting my beloved La Tisdale an Oscar nomination for High School Musical 3: Senior Year. Even if it proved ultimately futile, I still had a ton of fun on the way.

6. Rug Rats Blog-a-thon: Phillip Alford in To Kill a Mockingbird
My analysis of what I consider one of the greatest child performances of all time- and I normally find child actors sickening- with an extra special surprise in the comments.

7. Rants on Twilight Based on the Overheard Comments of the Random Teenage Girl Sitting Next to Me
This review of Twilight definitely wouldn't have been possible without the offhand comments of the random Twilight fanatic who sat by me.

8. People Who Can Suck It: Katy Perry
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that Katy Perry is a homophobic piece of trash (even though I kinda like "Hot 'N Cold" now). "I Kissed a Girl" and "Ur So Gay" are abominations.

9. Blair Waldorf, Je T'aime
I loved Leighton Meester before, but this episode of Gossip Girl really sealed the deal for me. As I say to J.D. every week: "Where is this woman's Golden Globe/Emmy?"

10. Endings Blog-a-thon: Billy Elliot's Completely Sucky Ending
I absolutely LOVED hearing everyone's opinion about the slightly controversial ending to Billy Elliot- even if you completely disagreed with me. I hope we can get more of this type of discussion in the coming year.

11. 10 Things I Hate About Slumdog Millionaire
I realize it's only two weeks old, but I'm proud of it. If only this review could stop their impending Oscar win...

12. Rants on Mamma Mia!
A review so harsh and unrelentless that, when I showed it to my mother, she asked, sarcastically, "Wow, what did you really think about it?"

13. Great. Now Everyone Thinks I'm a Super-Stylized, Psycho Killing Machine
Over the summer, I bought two movies at the same time without even thinking about it, but, when I got home, I realized just how crazy I must have looked.

14. My (Vaguely Distracted) Thoughts on Never Back Down
I try to review Never Back Down but something else distracts me in the process.

15. I'm the Nicole Kidman
A random thought I had one day that I just had to share with you all. You're welcome?

16. Imaginary Boyfriends (and Girlfriends) of 2008
Wait a minute, you guys like seeing pictures of good looking men and women? Who knew?

17. New York Goes to Hollywood, You Skanky Ass Bitch
I realize that no one else cares about the lovely and talented Tiffany "Miss New York" Pollard, but I think I did a fine job of summing up the first episode of her latest reality show.

18. My Same Difference Obsession
Popjustice brought this brother and sister act to my attention and, after the release of Pop, it grew into an obsession. I'm actually grinning like a moron while I'm typing this sentence.

19. La Tisdale is Pissed (and Other Emmy News)
Oh shit! Take cover: La Tisdale isn't in contention for an Emmy nomination for High School Musical 2 while Vanessa Hudgens and Corbin Bleu are.

20. Movies About Movies Blog-a-thon: The Opening Scene of Day for Night
Just the tip of the iceberg of a movie so complex and intricate you would need to do a proper thesis to get everything out of it.

21. An Interrupted American Medley in My Heart
Forgotten stars of the 40's and 50's Eleanor Parker and Susan Hayward really deserve your attention. Even if the films I mention (Interrupted Melody and With a Song in My Heart) are two of their weakest, they are still absolutely fascinating to watch. Plus, Hayward's American medley is a real campy treat.