Someone Needs to Skin the American Version of Skins

I apologize if you're already sick of me ranting about this on my Twitter, but I need to just get all my feelings out once and for all about the impending American version of the break-out British TV show Skins. The first preview for the show, which is set to debut on MTV in January, premiered yesterday after the Jersey Shore finale and really got my blood a-boiling. I would post it here but I really don't want my precious blog to be soiled by that filth. So, if you need to satisfy your curiosity, take a second and look for it yourself.

All caught up now? Good, let's get started.

My biggest complaint with Skins--Yankee Style, as it shall now be referred to, is that it's an exact carbon copy of the original show. Not only have they taken all of the original characters and simply changed some of their names, but they also copied the pilot episode, from the story to the dialogue and right down to the exact same camera angles (it's like Gus Van Sant's Psycho but without the "experimental" excuse). It's 2010, not 1985. You simply can't take a show from across the pond and only exchange the actors for the American version anymore. And you especially cannot do it when the original British show has been as widely available and watched in the U.S. as the original Skins has. The arrogance that the creators of Skins--Yankee Style have is astounding.

For anyone who has seen the original Skins, you are fully aware that the show graphically depicts teenagers swearing up a storm engaged in sex, drug use and a host of other inappropriate activities, many of which you simply can't show on American television. But that's what made the show great; it pushed the boundaries far beyond what something like Gossip Girl, by far the raciest teen show on American network TV, could even dream of doing. By bringing the show to America, there's no way it can get away with half of the shit the original did. And watching a sanitized Skins is worse than not watching Skins at all.

I really wish MTV luck in trying to peddle this shitty excuse for a TV show to viewers who somehow haven't heard of this amazing show. Even if their show is a hit, it will never be as good as the British original because it won't have the amazing ensemble of the first two seasons. Good luck trying to find actors as individually astounding as Nicholas Hoult, Hannah Murray or Kaya Scodelario (Christ, how horrible is the Effy episode going to be?) or a cast with as amazing chemistry as April Pearson, Joseph Dempsie, Mitch Hewer, Larissa Wilson, etc. had with each other. There are so many insurmountable obstacles toward the American version of Skins that I simply have no idea how on Earth it will work.

"Oh it gets dark, it gets lonely/On the other side from you"

For one reason or another, I haven't been able to escape Wuthering Heights these past couple weeks. I've never read the book (philistine, I know) and my only exposure to it has been through the "classic" 1939 adaptation starring Laurence Olivier and Merle Oberon which is on my imaginary list of the most overrated films of all time. For one reason or another, I had remained completely ignorant of the umpteenth film version of the Emily Brontë novel currently in production. As soon as I heard that Andrea Arnold was directing, however, my attitude instantly went from "Ugh, really?" to "Holy shit, gimme!" I've already gone on and on about how spectacular Fish Tank was in my mid-year review, but after watching her 2007 film Red Road recently, I'm fully convinced that she is one of the most interesting up-and-coming directors around. Her preference for socially and emotionally isolated female protagonists is certainly a refreshing perspective given the male-dominated industry. I'm definitely intrigued by what she might come up with in this version. From what I gather about the book, she seems like a perfect fit. And even if it doesn't completely work, it simply has to be better than the '39 version, right?

Possibly even more exciting/intriguing than Andrea Arnold in the director's chair, however, is her choice for Cathy: 18-year-old actress Kaya Scodelario. The actress, best known for playing the omnipresent Effy Stonem on the UK TV series Skins, is perhaps a surprising choice given that Gemma Arterton, who seems on the brink of mega stardom this year, was originally cast before Arnold took over. But if you've seen Scodelario on Skins, particularly in the first or second series, you know that even at her young age, she definitely has the chops to pull it off. I recently re-watched her Skins debut in the series one episode where she, without uttering a single word the entire episode, goes out to party with her loud mouth best friend and ends up getting drugged by someone out for revenge on her brother Tony (Nicholas Hoult). I was impressed the first time, so much so that she instantly jumped to the top tier of my fave Skins characters. On this go-around, I was able to look past the audacity of the show to give this wordless protagonist an entire episode and realized what an incredibly gifted actress she is. Working only with your face is incredibly difficult and something very few actors have the luxury of experimenting with now that the silent era has been over for 80+ years. Scodelario is more than up to the challenge and manages to become this completely watchable and fascinating enigma in the middle of all these scarily intense scenes of Disturbed Teens Gone Wild. Scodelario doesn't simply let the contrivances do all the work for her. She's constantly "in" the moment and makes the most of her presence. As soon as the episode is over, you feel like you need to know more about this character, the biggest question mark being, obviously, "Why doesn't she speak?" Scodelario has the talent to play Cathy, but with Arnold guiding her, I'm positively foaming at the mouth to see what she can do.

I managed to escape Wuthering Heights for a bit until a couple of days ago when I watched this 1946 film called Devotion. The film is a typical love triangle melodrama, very common in those days, with perhaps the only difference being that it involves both Emily and Charlotte Brontë as two points in the triangle. I was interested in the film mainly for Olivia de Havilland as Charlotte, but she proved to be, like the film itself, nothing special. The real story, however, was Ida Lupino as the eternally moody and tragic Emily. I've seen quite a few films about famous authors, particularly from this time period in Hollywood, but none of them are as interesting as Lupino's work in Devotion. She uses Wuthering Heights, Emily's only novel, as a way of character development, embodying the dark, Gothic mood of the novel in ways that the '39 adaptation only dreams of. All her life, Emily has been preoccupied with this dark, mysterious house on the dreary moors she loves so dearly. She decides to write about this house, adding a tragic romanticism to match the darkness that surrounds it, much to Charlotte's confusion. When Charlotte admits that she doesn't really understand Wuthering Heights as Emily begins writing it, in a way it's her way of admitting that she doesn't really understand Emily. Emily realizes this and accepts it, for she knows that her ideas about love and relationships are beyond Charlotte's interests and capabilities. Lupino does some smart, fascinating work in a completely thankless role in Devotion, proving that she, completely understanding the work, would have made a great Cathy in a production of Wuthering Heights. Thanks Merle Oberon for fucking that up.

The Ultimate Teen Drama

Ryan Atwood as the main heartthrob- a rough-around-the-edges everyman with a sensitive soft side.

Season 2 Blair Waldorf and Series 1 Tony Stonem as the manipulative, eternally scheming antagonists we're supposed to hate but end up loving more than the protagonists.


Seth Cohen as the dorky sidekick who is actually more adorable and lovable than the main character.


Sandy and Kirsten Cohen as the cool parents every teen wishes was their own.


Julie Cooper-Nichols as the bitchy parent no teen wishes was their own.



Season 1, "I killed a man" Serena van der Woodsen and Season 2 and beyond Summer Roberts as the eternally loyal (and gorgeous!) female sidekicks who, in the right moment, can be counted on for a good punchline.


Chris Miles as the slacker sidekick always making the wrong decisions but never less than hilarious making them.


Jal Fazer as the badass conscience of the group who can always be trusted to lend an ear and give great advice.


Mackenzie as the rich snob trying to protect his turf from the invading poor heartthrob.