A blog currently wondering which of the One Direction boys will take him home. Other obsessions: hot boys, Britney Spears, the Disney pop princesses, French New Wave cinema.
...Well, it's not exactly "back" since the writing is still shit, the acting is nearly unstomachable and the whole gay angle is handled only slightly better than one of the episodes on an Alan Ball TV show where the gay character(s) deliver the most awful, holier-than-thou sermon this side of a papal mass. Considering the hot mess the show was when I gave up on it last season, and how much anger I had towards it for wasting both its potential and my time week after week, I never thought I would be able to take anything it did seriously ever again. And, judging by the reaction this season from even the most hardcore Gleetards, the show's novelty was beginning to wear off quickly. But, out of nowhere, the show went back to its roots with this performance from a new cast member:
Wow, that was surprisingly refreshing. My biggest complaint with Glee towards the end of the run of episodes I watched was that they weren't even bothering to do anything to make the songs their own. In the beginning, especially in the pilot episode with 'Rehab' and 'Don't Stop Believin',' Glee wasn't afraid to interpret the songs in new and original ways. By the end of the first run, however, the show was falling prey to its own hype and started cranking out those songs to suck as much money out of buyers as they could. Some of the songs were so terrible they sounded like someone bought a karaoke tape, pressed play, let Lea Michelle sing shriek over everyone and then called it a day ('Bad Romance,' I'm looking at you). Apparently this has only gotten worse this season, especially with the jukebox musical/theme episodes. But this rendition of 'Teenage Dream' is absolutely stunning. What I love most about the arrangement is that it's stripped down to an acapella core yet the song's emotion, which Katy Perry emotes so vividly over the electropop-ness of the original, loses none of its power or urgency.
And the person who I think should be credited mostly for the success of this rendition is Glee newcomer Darren Criss. As you can see, I'm clearly in love with him and will stop at nothing until he's mine. Apparently, the University of Michigan graduate (two hours away from me!) is famous for something called A Very Potter Musical, which made it's way online earlier this year. I tried watching it but it made very little sense to me as I haven't read a Harry Potter book since Bill Clinton was president. Anyways, on the show, Darren plays Blaine, Kurt's new gay buddy who is there solely to provide support and tell Kurt to stand up for himself. In other words, the character's a total snoozefest and didn't give Darren much to play with in his first appearance. But that hardly matters when your debut musical performance is something as amazing as his version of 'Teenage Dream.' His husky voice is in definite contrast to Katy's light and airy vocals on the original but he manages to keep the song sexy in his own way. Just by emphasizing the wrong word, the lyric, "I'ma get your heart racing in my skin tight jeans/I'll be your teenage dream tonight," could have become an epic disaster but he actually turns it into a sly, subtle invitation that makes it even hotter. Speaking of hotness, I also love the way that, like Kurt/Chris Colfer, Darren isn't one of those generic, plastic-looking gays that seem to populate shows of this nature and, unlike Kurt/Chris Colfer, he has his own brand of sexiness that can't be reproduced. It appears that many others out there agree with me as he has instantly become the most buzzed about new cast member since, I don't know, ever and there are even talks about making him a series regular. Seems like a good idea at this point since his song is currently at #1 on the iTunes chart, sodomizing the other songs from the episode, and is on track to be the highest charting single from Glee since 'Don't Stop Believin'.' I'm sure once Glee gets their hands on Darren they will ruin him like they have every other aspect of the show but let's just enjoy him in all his glory for the moment.
I don't watch this show. My mother does, though, and really likes Sedgwick's character. "She's so realistic, James. She's going through menopause like I am!"
Best Actor (Comedy): Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
I don't watch this show.
Best Actress (Comedy): Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
I watched the first four episodes. Wasn't terribly impressed or in a rush to watch other episodes.
Best Supporting Actor (Drama): Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
I don't watch this show.
Best Supporting Actress (Drama): Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
I don't watch this show.
Best Supporting Actor (Comedy): Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
I don't watch this show.
Best Supporting Actress (Comedy): Jane Lynch, Glee
Watched the first season. Thought Lynch thoroughly deserved the award. Will never watch another episode.
Well, that was...fascinatingly in-depth? I guess we can safely assume that the Emmys and I have vastly different tastes when it comes to television. Especially when you consider that if I ran things, Sterling Knight would have two Emmys by now and Snooki would be nominated next to Tina Fey in the Comedy category.
Now that I've given up watching that horrible, horrible show about the adventures of a certain glee club, I figure it's time to stop bitching about the show and move on. But this news was so completely disgusting that I had to say something about it. To be honest, I was actually excited for Glee's upcoming Britney tribute. God knows why, knowing how both the Madonna and GaGa tributes turned out and the fact that they were just going to lazily pick her biggest hits like 'Stronger,' '...Baby One More Time' and 'Womanizer' instead of really digging into her discography, but it's true. I was glad that the show was giving Britney her due as a pop legend and gay icon instead of seeing her as a mentally unstable woman like most people seem to do nowadays. But, of course, I gave Glee way too much credit. With the news that Mr. Schu will be shaving his head as some sort of "tribute" to Britney's infamous haircut, I now realize that this whole episode is going to be a sick farce. Listen, I can deal with an occasional joke about Britney attacking a car with an umbrella, but what Glee is doing is nothing more than exploiting a woman who was clearly suffering a psychotic breakdown for cheap laughs. As one commenter on Just Jared said, this is the same as paying tribute to Rihanna by having a character get the shit beat out of them. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but if you're going to devote a whole episode to celebrating one of the most influential artists of the past decade, maybe you should focus on the positives and all the things she's done for pop music. Glee, you are a disgusting show. Ryan Murphy, you are the biggest asshole of them all. This show is supposed to celebrate peoples' differences and how that makes us all great, so how is this okay? Would you make an episode re-enacting how Artie came to be in his wheelchair and then laugh about it? LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE if this is your idea of celebrating her.
Please get better. Soon. This week's episode was an abomination against all humankind. I seriously haven't rolled my eyes that much in such a short span of time since the love scenes between Troy and Gabriella in HSM3.
I know some readers out there think I'm just a big ole player hater who will never be satisfied with the show, but that's not true. I just think that Glee has the potential to be a great show and isn't living up to its initial promise. The show is coasting on its enormous buzz right now and hasn't done much in the episodes since its phenomenal debut to live up to all of it. Sure, there have been moments of inspiration and cleverness (I especially loved the Mash-Up episode with the girls' singing 'Halo' and 'Walking on Sunshine') but nothing has even come close to matching this moment of magic:
And on Wednesday, my God, I swear recovering from surgery was less painful than what happened on Glee. I mean, the whole "I've seen this episode five times before" plot (Baby business and Rachel loves Finn? Oy vey) was bad enough, but once they showed the deaf choir "singing" 'Imagine,' I almost fucking lost it. What the fuck was that? You can call it "inspirational" or whatever the fuck you want, but that was shameless manipulation, pure and simple, worthy only of the Idol Gives Back special. And then they had the balls to sing another soppy ballad, 'True Colors,' at the very end, just to top off the shittiness. Glee could be so much better than anything as dire as those by-the-books numbers and yet it keeps on relying on this over and over again. If they switch things up a bit like they did for 'Don't Stop Believing,' 'Halo/Walking on Sunshine' and the recent rendition of 'Dancing With Myself,' the numbers become much more interesting. Without this creativity, Glee becomes nothing more than a show with a mediocre plot and kids singing mediocre Broadway karaoke.
For years, TV watchers and critics alike have been complaining that the success of reality shows like Survivor, American Idol, Dancing With the Stars and The Bachelor[ette] are ruining network television as we know it. We can blame these shows all we want, but, judging by the television season thus far, it is looking more and more like the networks and creative forces behind the shows are killing them faster than any reality show. I know I'm hardly television's most qualified critic because I don't watch an extraordinary amount of shows and some of the ones I continue to watch are dubious at best. However, I feel like I need to say something for the sake of these sinking shows I love so dearly.
Let's start with Desperate Housewives, a show I used to be so obsessive about I would tell people not to call my cell phone during the show unless there was some kind of medical emergency that couldn't wait until 10:01; now I'm so meh on it I can do homework, IM someone and eat all while watching it. For a show that started off so brilliantly with it's parody on suburban values and mores ingeniously mixed with a compelling, season-long mystery, it's a shame that the show quickly descended into a shadow of its former self. Don't get me wrong, I was still hooked on the show and loved some of the major arcs (Dixie Carter as Orson's mother, the season where Dana Delaney's Katharine was introduced) over the past few seasons, but the magic of that glorious first season has always been missing. This season, however, has been the absolute breaking point for me. The season premiere was hilarious and hinted at better things to come this season, but honestly, looking back, I'm guessing this reaction was due more to the fact that I missed the characters over the summer rather than the show was actually doing anything interesting. Needless to say, the show has progressed to shit. My main problem with Desperate Housewives is that the show doesn't have any balls anymore. I'm not suggesting that the show was incredibly ballsy before, but it at least talked about interesting subjects that few other network shows would touch (the child molester who Lynette inadvertently unleashes on the world, the dynamic between Bree and Andrew during season one and two, etc.). Now, Desperate Housewives has become passive in its refusal to even mention other darker alternatives to the character's problems. Take Lynette's unwanted pregnancy this season for instance. In the old days, she would have considered getting an abortion and, if the show was feeling particularly risky, she would have went ahead and gotten it. Instead, the word is never even mentioned and Lynette is forced to grin and bear it like a good woman and accept the pregnancy like she's a 50's housewife. It's gotten so bad that I hardly recognize these women anymore. The only one who has gotten better with time is Gabrielle and that's mainly because Eva Longoria Parker continually improves her comedic timing each season. The entire show has been sanitized of anything fun or groundbreaking every year to the point where it has become the type of show that it set out to parody originally. For years, creator Marc Cherry has promised a revamped Desperate Housewives that will return to the glory of the first season and for years the audience has been waiting for this to happen.
Gossip Girl is another show that has failed to live up to its high standards this season. I realize the show has had some tough shoes to fill after some incomparably golden episodes last season (the gorgeously shot The Dark Night,the one where Blair totally owns Serena in front of Yale's dean of admissions, the hilarious and spirited take on The Age of Innocence which managed the impossible task of momentarily making it look like Chace Crawford is a good actor) but it's like they're not even trying anymore. Like Desperate Housewives, the show has been heavily sanitized and interesting subplots either lead nowhere or to absolutely clichéd, One Tree Hill-esque endings. When Leighton fucking Meester (my #1 performance of last season) can't even manage to engage me except for the occasional bitchy one-liner, you know you're in trouble. Hopefully this week's highly publicized threesome will get thing back on track for my favorite guilty pleasure on TV (considering, of course, they pick the right people to be in this threesome).
Can you think of a show like Ugly Betty that has wavered in quality so many times during it's three season run its nearly impossible to keep up half the time? Last season ended so promisingly but right from the start, this season has been a big pile of shit. For a show that has depended for the most part on its main character being hated by every other character on the show, this season has really piled on the hatred to an almost unbearable level. If Marc makes one more snide comment about how he deserved the editors position over Betty, I swear to God I'm going to beat his face in. Shut the fuck up and get over it, you whiny bitch. The show has gotten so bad so fast I am actually dreading this week's episode in fear that it's going to be nearly as stifling and uninspiring as last week's.
I could try watching some of the new shows this season in hopes that something will fill the void left by these bland ones and that would be great if there was actually anything interesting to pick from. I'll admit that I haven't watched the supposedly great Modern Family yet, but if Glee (a fantastic debut, hit and miss ever since) and Community (I love the show but there are plenty of player haters out there) are the best new shows this season, TV is in serious trouble. It doesn't help that most of the new shows sounded either like clones of stuff that was already around (seriously, how many ER clones do we need on every channel?) or completely stupid from its description (Bitch please, The Good Wife. Like I'm supposed to feel sorry for a woman who was married to a politician and has to start life over...as a high powered attorney! Get a real problem, twat). I suppose I could quit bitching and just stop watching these shows but (a) do I ever just stop bitching about something? and (b) I have a hard time giving up on shows--it takes something catastrophically bad for me to stop watching a show I've loved for so long. None of these shows have hit that level yet, but desperately need something to shake things up again. If they don't, network TV will fall one step closer to its demise.
P.S. I know what you're thinking, "Well, what about last year's Emmy winners: 30 Rock and Mad Men? Those are surely still great." 30 Rock has been good this season so far, but there hasn't been an outstanding moment yet to compare with last year's mad season. As for Mad Men, well I kinda haven't been keeping up with that show. I started watching it every week but soon I grew tired of the way the episodes weren't really connecting with each other (they truly felt like distinct 40 minute shorts with the same characters each week). I missed one week, then another and finally I got so far behind I didn't even care anymore. Perhaps I'll catch up with a marathon one day, but at this moment I couldn't be bothered.
I've long contested that Matthew Morrison was the hottest guy on the Glee set, so when these pictures appeared before me this morning it was like a hug from Oprah. You see, I have the world's worst gaydar and never in a million years would I have guessed he batted for my team. Sure, he's a Broadway star, but isn't it usually the straight (or at least butch) male performers that make it big in other mediums? But I digress. My main point is that finally NPH can stop carrying the burden of being the only hot out male celebrity (that I've actually heard of).
P.S. No, I'm not self-loathing, I just don't think that I'm supposed to find T.R. Knight hotter than Zac Efron just because he's out. Gay or not, he still looks like a fucking troll.
