Songs of 2011: "My Dilemma" and "What Do I Have to Do"

I'll be announcing my 20 favorite songs of the past year within the next couple of days (catch up with 50-21 here). But until then, I wanted to briefly talk about two of the most important songs to me this year that were ineligible for my end of the year list for various reasons (one is an album track while the other is over 20 years old). These two songs got me through some rough patches this past year, and I am eternally grateful that they came into my life when they did.

Selena Gomez & The Scene, in my estimation, is quickly becoming one of the best pop acts around. Between their debut album and this year's When the Sun Goes Down, no artist has matured and found their sound quicker than Selena & The Scene. And within that short period of time, they have become the go-to artist for songs about indecisive men who send mixed signals about what they want leaving you confused and frustrated. "Round & Round", their first stab at this type of song, was my fourth favorite song of 2010. With such incredibly large shoes to fill, how would another song in this admittedly small genre even compare? Not only did this song handily surpass its predecessor, it also outshines nearly everything in Selena & The Scene's entire discography. Lumped in between two of the album's lesser tracks toward the end, "My Dilemma" can be easy to miss if you're not paying attention.

But you would really be doing yourself a disservice underestimating or, even worse, ignoring this track altogether. "My Dilemma" touches on what I suspect (or I hope since it happened to me repeatedly this past year and I don't want to feel so damned alone!) is a universal problem for a lot of us out there: men who confuse the fuck out of us. It's a song about how you can see every fault a guy has and tell yourself that you are over them, but the minute they are online or they text you something nice, you have to stop everything and talk to them. You hate yourself for doing it later on, but it feels so right in the moment and there's nothing you can do to stop yourself. And it finally gets to the point where you are not even interested in the guy anymore, you just love all the attention and drama of the situation. The lyrics of "My Dilemma" are simple, yet they nimbly and ably navigate this precarious situation. What really sells the song for me, I must admit, is Selena's vocals. The way she switches between high and low notes reflects the indecisiveness of the song: just as she can't decide how she feels about this boy, she can't decide whether she wants to sing the song in a falsetto or in her normal range. It's a smart choice for a smart song, and shows off Selena as one of the smartest vocalists around.

Within the first few months of 2011, I really got into Kylie Minogue's discography, finally getting around to listening to all of her early albums. I was already familiar with "What Do I Have to Do" when I was going through her Rhythm of Love album, but it wasn't until this year that the song really clicked for me. And boy did it ever click for me--rather unfortunately, I must add, as the song is all about pining for an oblivious guy showing absolutely no interest in you romantically. It's quite funny, actually, because, sonically, "What Do I Have to Do" sounds like the uplifting, catchy pop song we expected from her at this time. But, buried beneath Kylie's sweet delivery is a raging torrent of melancholy and longing. "What Do I Have to Do" is quite possibly the most devastating song in Kylie's discography--and that's saying a lot because the woman has done quite a few melancholic tracks over the years.

Half-Way Report for 2011

Top 5 Films

05. Source Code (Duncan Jones)

The tepid reviews really watered down any expectations, so I was surprised to find a fine mix of a great gimmick, intelligent action sequences and an achingly beautiful and unsentimental romance. Source Code had me under its spell the entire runtime, a spell that even a horribly botched ending couldn't completely break.

04. Scream 4 (Wes Craven)

Instead of phoning it in, Craven & Co. deliver another excellent installment in this horror franchise. Bonus points: will I have this much fun at another movie this year? I haven't been so giggly in a theatre since I saw Secretariat and my friend Sammi kept shouting "Oscar! Oscar!" at all of Diane Lane's big Moments.

03. Downton Abbey (Julian Fellowes)

Witty, absorbing and intelligent with a great ratio of serious and silly, Julian Fellowes' expansion of his Gosford Park was one of the most surprising things I've seen all year. And who says Masterpiece Theatre is only for old geezers?

02. Bridesmaids (Paul Feig)

This film had me at Kristen Wiig in raunchy female comedy. But who would have guessed just how funny and real it was going to be?!

01. Hanna (Joe Wright)

As you are all well aware, action films are not my favorite genre, but when you have an ace stylist like Joe Wright who knows how to construct images and scenes with a distinctive visual flair that don't feel gratuitous (unlike a certain other French Canadian director everyone is so crazy about), a bombastic score from The Chemical Brothers and a hard-as-nails lead performance from one of the only decent under 18 actors around, you have the very best film of the year so far. And I can't imagine not loving this by year end either.

Top 5 Performances

05. Michael Fassbender, Jane Eyre

Sex sex sex sex sex sex. He's practically dripping with testosterone and hard, angry lust in all of his best scenes in Jane Eyre.

04. Saoirse Ronan, Hanna

Who would have guessed that the same girl from Atonement would also be a total Ellen Ripley? Kudos to her for balancing the pathos with the ass-kicking.

03. Maya Rudolph, Bridesmaids

She obviously the straight woman to Wiig's whacked out nutiness, but she kills in her own comedic moments. Plus, Rudolph adds a touch of sweetness to the bawdy comedy surrounding her.

02. Dame Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Dame Maggie plays Dame Maggie here--a crusty old grandmother who won't stand for foolishness or foreign ideas--but no one does Dame Maggie like the legend herself. Her wonderful comedic timing ("What is a weekend?") punctuates and accentuates what could have been a dry melodrama.

01. Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids

The fact that she plays a desperate, single maid of honor who can't hold a job, gets involved in sexual relationships with idiots who don't deserve her, likes to partaaaaaay and makes lots of penis jokes sounds like it was tailor-made for me. But, despite all the major (and deserved) guffaws, Wiig plays Annie with a sense of realness and legitimacy often ignored in comedies of this nature.

Top 5 Rentals

05. Europa Europa

A Holocaust film about survival from a different angle than you're accustomed to seeing. This one blew me away and not just because the male lead went full frontal in the first five minutes. (My review here)

04. Female

Without a doubt, the Pre-Code era was one of the most liberating for actresses. This film with Ruth Chatterton as a powerful CEO whose career is her life and men are just sexual playthings is one of the best from that period. It's not-so-subtle approach to sex will baffle audiences who think old films are all chaste and wholesome. (My review here)

03. The Last Command

Josef von Sternberg's tale of a former Russian general exiled in Hollywood as a silent film extra appears a tad farfetched on paper, especially when you consider that he begins work on a film directed by a Communist he personally sent to prison. Unbelievable or not, it's a great film, a fine example of the type of complex dramas Hollywood was able to crank out like clockwork in the Golden Age.

02. Billy Liar

Tom Courtenay is often forgotten among British New Wave heavies like Albert Finney and Richard Harris. A shame since many of his films and his performance hold up far better than any of Finney's (especially from this era). Billy Liar is a surprisingly funny and unself-conscious film for the period with Courtenay as our plucky hero, a working class chap who spends his days escaping his dreary existence through his own fantasy world. Julie Christie, of all actresses, lends support as his quirky and fun friend/possible love interest who encourages his fantasy.

01. The Prince and the Showgirl

This Laurence Olivier directed comedy about a stubborn, conceited prince (Olivier) and the vivacious, smarter-than-she-looks showgirl who falls for him (Marilyn Monroe) really should have been a disaster. The man who won an Oscar for Hamlet acting against Hollywood's most notorious "dumb blonde" bombshell? Get out of here. Somehow, by the grace of Oprah, it all came together in one of the most charming and funny romantic comedies of the 50's. Olivier is great playing the pompous cad, but Monroe is the real story here. Her umpteenth take on the showgirl role is one of the cleverest performances of her career, only outclassed by Some Like It Hot and The Misfits.

Top 5 Songs

05. Katy Perry "E.T."

An unusual but ultimately beautiful love song. Who would have guessed that after "I Kissed a Girl" Katy would have something like this in her?

04. Rihanna "Man Down"

The Rated R Era officially comes to an end with this reconciliation of that album's dark, violent imagery and the Loud Era's more commercial tendencies. The result is a brilliant synthesis of the two Rihanna polarities.

03. Eric Saade "Popular"

So gloriously over-the-top and manic how can you not love it?

02. Nicole Scherzinger "Don't Hold Your Breath"

My personal anthem for 2011. For serious.

01. Nicki Minaj "Super Bass"

It has become my main goal in life to learn all the lyrics to this song. I'm getting pretty good, for a white guy, anyways, which is especially encouraging since this is one of Nicki's faster raps. Everything about this song is pure joy. I've listened to it 60+ times in just a month and a half and I haven't even come close to getting sick of it.

Top 5 Bonus Tracks, B-sides, Remixes & Other Assorted Non-Singles

05. Le Kid "Mr. Brightside"

The reason I don't dismiss every cover song on the planet is because of covers like this, a fun and bouncy reconfiguring of the Killers' big, somewhat dark pop anthem.

04. Beyoncé "Run the World (Girls) (Dave Audé Radio Edit)"

I'm not normally into remixes except in instances when they improve the original (and don't go on for 8 minutes at a time). Why Beyoncé hasn't done a full-blown dance album yet is beyond me.

03. Andrew Rannells "I Believe"

It's all about one lyric: "And I believe that in 1978 God changed his mind about black people (Black people!)"

02. Rihanna featuring Britney Spears "S&M (Remix)"

Slutty Britney is still my favorite Britney, so I can't tell you how excited I was to hear her inimitable voice moan out "Na na na come on" in the beginning. I know a lot of people either violently hated or shrugged their shoulders at this remix but not me. It's dumb and ridiculous and slutty and exactly the way a song called "S&M" should be.

01. Selena Gomez "Who Says (Dave Audé Radio Edit)"

A vast improvement over the midtempo original. Why this wasn't done as a dancefloor inspirational jam in the first place beats the hell out of me.

Top 5 Albums

05. Alexis Jordan, Alexis Jordan

A fine debut from a rising star. Nothing especially groundbreaking but it has become a compulsively listenable album in the months since I first heard it.

04. Original Cast, The Book of Mormon (Original Broadway Cast Recording)

Everything you would expect from a Matt Stone and Trey Parker skewering of the Mormon religion and then some. Even non fans of South Park would get a kick out of this.

03. Same Difference, The Rest Is History

Everyone's favorite slightly incestuous brother-sister pop duo Same Difference is back and all grown up this time. The glorious key changes are ditched in favor of sleeker, sexier dance pop. A refreshing and worthy follow-up to their fantastic debut.

02. Selena Gomez & The Scene, When the Sun Goes Down

In the matter of 18 short months, Selena has gone from Disney's fourth largest commodity (after the Brothers Jonas, Miley & Demi, obviously) to one of the brightest beacons of hope for the future of pop music. One of the album's key tracks, the killer "Whiplash," was co-written by the Queen herself, Britney, and it almost looks like a way of her passing the torch and giving approval to her eventual successor...

01. Britney Spears, Femme Fatale

...That is if Britney was ready to go anywhere. Twelve years into her career and Britney only gets better, constantly surprising us with the directions she is taking her music.

Top 5 Music Videos

05. Rihanna "S&M"

Rihanna is not really a music video artist, which is a shame because it's an area she should be excelling in. "S&M" is one of her rare videos that deviates from the "I'm just gonna stand around and look pretty" norm. I love the bright colors of the mise-en-scène and the way Rihanna goes balls the wall with the S&M imagery. If it wasn't for the hyper kinetic editing which distracts more often than it should, I'd say it was her masterpiece.

04. Britney Spears "I Wanna Go"

"Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're cool. Fuck you. I'm out." As if Britney could be any more legendary. Has Britney ever had this much fun in a music video?

03. Hurts "Sunday"

A glorious reinterpretation of the Orpheus myth which builds on the well-established persona of Hurts as the most depressing, dapper duo in music today.

02. Beyoncé "Run the World (Girls)"

01. Robyn "Call Your Girlfriend"

I'm pretty sure I've said all I need to say about these two videos.

Top 5 Obsessions

05. Kylie Minogue's Discography
After Christmas, I randomly picked up a used copy of Kylie's Fever album and fell in love with it. Having such a major success with that one, I downloaded another. Yet again a corker, so I downloaded another. And the cycle went on and on until I had all of her studio albums in my possession. If anything, I'm grateful for this little jaunt of mine for making me realize the absolute brilliance that is "Your Disco Needs You" and, especially, "What Do I Have to Do".

04. Michael Fassbender in Jane Eyre and X-Men: First Class

He is the walking sex. I can't even. How did those actors get through their scenes without dropping their pants and bending over in front of him?

03. Brideshead Revisited

How did people watch miniseries before the invention of the DVD?  I don't know how I would have waited a week between installments of this popular British miniseries from 1981, starring Jeremy Irons and Anthony Andrews. I was like a carnivore as soon as that red Netflix envelope came in my mailbox, tearing it to shreads and rushing to put the DVD in the player. This series was so good, y'all, especially the first half with Andrews as the drole, alcoholic, guilt-ridden Sebasitan Flyte.

02. Tom Courtenay

I've become such an uber fan of Courtenay's in the past couple of months I watched Doctor fucking Zhivago again just for him and his Oscar nomination. Yes, I re-watched a bloody David Lean film for him. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

01. Random TLC Shows

Extreme Couponing. Toddlers & Tiaras. My Strange Addiction.  The best programming in all of television is on this channel. And to think I once dismissed TLC as the channel where every show is about midgets and obnoxiously large families.

Top 5 Hot Guys

(New/recent obsessions since this list would otherwise be all Michael Fassbender)

05. Marlon Teixeira

04. Eric Saade

03. Josh Hutcherson

02. Aaron Tveit

01. Armie Hammer

Top 5 Blog Posts

05. Dame Wears Black for Andy

I'm still in mourning.

04. Even My Grandma Thinks I'm Gonna Die Alone

In which even my lovely 84 year old grandma realizes that I am Liz Lemon.

03. Sex & Blue Valentine

My analysis of one sex scene that haunted me in Blue Valentine.

02. My Oscar Dream

Is this really how I'm gonna win my Oscar? Lord I hope so.

01. Top 10 Sonny With a Chance Moments

Goodbye, my beloved show. It was a great run while it lasted. Here's hoping the lovely cast finds much success afterwards (especially once this So Random! thing ends).

A Few Thoughts on a Few 2011 Singles

I was listening to my playlist of 2011 singles and I had a couple of thoughts concerning some of them. Here they are in no particular order.

>>Katy Perry has been really smart with her single choices from Teenage Dream. Aside from the lead single, 'California Gurls', Katy has but released three surprisingly adult choices in a row: the title track, 'Firework' and now 'E.T.' What makes this even more incredible is that she two surefire hits in the making on her album--'Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)' and 'Peacock'--that could easily be Top 5 hits with very little work. They are both generic and audience-pandering pop tracks that any mediocre popstar could have pooped out but Katy, surprisingly, went for the less obvious choices. I mean, who would have guessed when 'I Kissed a Girl' or 'Hot N Cold' came out that she would even record an anthemic, 'Beautiful'-esque song like 'Firework,' much less release it as a single and get it to #1. 'E.T.' is even more of anomaly as its a dark, rather melancholic (well, as dark and melancholic as Katy Perry can get) track a good deal more adult than 95% of her output. The song is more proof that when she really tries and cares, Katy can be a really great popstar.

>>'Hold It Against Me' is, strangely enough, a grower. I have liked Brit's comeback single since the minute I first heard it, but I haven't been passionate about it like I have many of her other lead singles. Over the past month or so, however, I've slowly liked it more and more to the point where I'm now madly in love with the song. What I think took me so long is the fact that 'Hold It Against Me' is subtly different from the rest of her work. To a casual observer not intimate with Brit's work, it's auto-tuned business as usual. But to an obsessive like myself, 'Hold It Against Me' is quite different from her most recent lead singles. There's no massive hook and no repetitive chorus. In fact, the chorus is actually the softest, prettiest part of the song while the middle 8 is where the song really shines. The song changes gears and tempos about four different times but that's what I love about it. 'Hold It Against Me' is Brit playing against our expectations about what a lead single of hers sounds like and I think it's a clever, bold move for the legendary Miss Britney Spears.

>>Who is Jessie J? Yes, I know who she is but I have no clue who she is as an artist. I didn't particularly care for 'Do It Like a Dude' when I first heard it but, like 'Hold It Against Me,' it has grown on me considerably in the past month or so (even if it's not as good as Ciara's ultimate equal-rights-between-the-sexes anthem 'Like a Boy'). The song is loud, in-your-face and aggressive as hell, which coheres with the rough and tumble persona Jessie J has created for herself. With that angry bob haircut and tattoos all up and down her body, she's the kind of chick I would totally expect to stand up to domineering men and let them know she can do what they do just as well as them. But now her second single, 'Price Tag', has come out and already hit #1 in the UK and I'm more confused than ever as to what kind of artist she is. The song is another one of those "people are so superficial and only care about fame and expensive things" that we get every year from pretentious a-holes who think they're so clever and witty with their bashing of the rich and the vapid. We get it, rich people have no souls. Can we move on already? Unfortunately, Jessie J goes down this road once again and the result is atrocious. 'Price Tag' features B.o.B. but the message is so earnest and "insightful" I'm really shocked Travie McCoy didn't reprise a verse of 'Billionaire' on it. I'm really hoping 'Price Tag' is just a one-off and the album is full of more 'Do It Like a Dude''s, otherwise it's going to be a nightmare to sit through.

>>I feel like 2011 will finally be the year of Vincent Frank, aka Frankmusik. I have been in love with him since I first heard '3 Little Words' and a few other underground releases, but his truly dire debut album sent his career two steps backwards. He's had a year to get back on track and now, with the help of Cherrytree Records, the same label that has made Robyn and Far East Movement massive successes, Frankmusik is ready to take over America. 'The Fear Inside' dropped very late last year to small, if very positive, fanfare and he has been steadily releasing free tracks--some of which are very, very good--to build hype for the upcoming album. Perhaps most importantly, he has made the rounds on the late night TV circuit, performing the chorus to Far East Movement's 'Rocketeer' in the absence of original singer Ryan Tedder. Maybe I'm just prejudiced, but I think he does a far better job than Tedder. If only this could have been his proper introduction to the American public. Then again, I feel like he will make it with his own material.

>>Sometimes I have no clue what goes through record labels' heads when they make the idiotic decisions that they do. Take, for example, Taio Cruz's 'Higher' and the differences between the original and U.S. versions. In the original version, the song is a duet with pop goddess Kylie Minogue. The song isn't exactly revolutionary but it's surprisingly catchy and Kylie & Taio have great chemistry. I'm not surprised that, for the U.S. release, the label decided to tack on a needless rap from none other than Travie McCoy. Taio isn't exactly an established star here yet and Kylie, no matter what the rest of the world says, hasn't had a hit in the U.S. since, arguably, 'Love at First Sight'. But what I'm flabbergasted by is the fact they completely dropped Kylie Minogue from the U.S. version and simply had Taio record all of her vocals. This was a stupid decision for two reasons: (1) the song functions best as a duet so as a Taio solo, something is missing and (2) why on Earth would you replace Kylie in the first place? It's not as if she's some complete unknown or that the Travie McCoy verse completely replaces her. The song would have functioned just fine if they had left Kylie in it. Then again, what do I know about making hit records in America. This is the same country that gave two #1's in a row to a cokehead.

Top 50 Songs of 2010

2010 has been officially over for about 12 hours, so let's take a quick look back at the hottest singles of the past year.

Not Eligible: Only actual singles are considered for this list. This means that songs such as Rihanna's 'Man Down' and 'Fading,' Robyn's 'U Should Know Better,' Joe McElderry's 'If You Love Me' and Cheryl Cole's 'Waiting,' which otherwise would have made the list, are disqualified. Also, my eligibility dates run from December of '09 to November of '10. This is only because sometimes it takes me awhile to warm up to a song and I feel like it's unfair that a song 2 weeks old should compete with one I've had 4 months to spend pondering. So, this rule disqualifies Joe McElderry's 'Someone Wake Me Up' and Frankmusik's 'The Fear Inside,' both of which should make a strong showing on next year's list.

10 Runner-ups: Alexandra Burke 'The Silence' | Alex Gaudino 'I'm In Love (I Wanna Do It)' | Drake 'Find Your Love' | David Archuleta 'Something 'Bout Love' | Alphabeat 'Heat Wave' | Rihanna 'Rude Boy' | Kate Nash 'Do-Wah-Doo' | Marina & The Diamonds 'Shampain' | Kelis 'Scream' | Alex Gardner 'I'm Not Mad'

50. Sophie Ellis-Bextor 'Bittersweet'
49. Rihanna 'Only Girl (In the World)'
48. Cee-Lo Green 'Fuck You'
47. Kelis 'Acapella'
46. Kelly Rowland 'Commander'
45. Ed Drewett 'Champagne Lemonade'
44. Nelly 'Just a Dream'
Nelly hasn't been relevant in ages, but he made a big comeback with this unexpected slow jam much in the vein of his earlier 'Over and Over.'
43. Diana Vickers 'My Wicked Heart'
Vickers at her most stylized. Amazing stuff if you can get past it.
42. 3OH!3 featuring Katy Perry 'Starstrukk'
41. Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris 'Baby'
Silly fluff, but done in such a way that it actually kinda becomes sweet. A nice flashback to the days of junior high relationships.

40. Kris Allen 'Alright With Me'
39. Rihanna 'Rockstar 101'
38. Janelle Monáe featuring Big Boi 'Tightrope'
37. Katy B 'Katy on a Mission'
I'm not exactly sure what Katy B is singing about, but this song just feels right nonetheless. And it's surprisingly catchy!
36. The Hoosiers 'Choices'
35. Grum 'Can't Shake This Feeling'
34. Ke$ha 'Your Love Is My Drug'
33. Freemasons featuring Wynter Gordon 'Believer'
A bit of a late entrant to this list. I only just discovered this song's brilliance about a month ago and I haven't been able to stop listening since. Wynter Gordon is a true talent on the rise.
32. Lady GaGa 'Alejandro'
31. Marina & the Diamonds 'Oh No!'

30. Darin 'Lovekiller'
29. Selena Gomez & The Scene 'Naturally'
28. The Pretty Reckless 'Make Me Wanna Die'
Taylor Momsen becomes the second Gossip Girl star with a promising music career. Who'd have guessed that back in 2007?
27. Sky Ferreira 'One'
26. Sabrina Washington 'OMG'
Obviously, the better of the two singles titled 'OMG' this year. Now if only people would actually listen to this one.
25. Hurts 'Wonderful Life'
24. Lady GaGa featuring Beyoncé 'Telephone'
23. Miley Cyrus 'Can't Be Tamed'
22. Leighton Meester 'Your Love's a Drug'
21. Mark Ronson & The Business Int'l featuring Q-Tip and MNDR 'Bang Bang Bang'

20. Nicki Minaj 'Your Love'
Ingenious sample, brilliant rap, heartbreaking finale. The moment Nicki Minaj really clicked for me.
19. Gabriella Cilmi 'Hearts Don't Lie'
18. Justin Bieber 'Somebody to Love'
17. Joe McElderry 'Ambitions'
16. Alexandra Burke 'Start Without You'
15. Selena Gomez & The Scene 'A Year Without Rain'
Selena (& The Scene) risks alienating the Disney crowd with this sensual song of romantic longing. The lyrics make it sound like kids' stuff, but her delivery makes 'A Year Without Rain' one of the most tender love songs of the year.
14. Alexandra Burke featuring Pitbull 'All Night Long'
Alexandra Gurl takes it to the club with this massive, trance-inducing pop song.
13. Alphabeat 'DJ (I Could Be Dancing)'
12. Diana Vickers 'Once'
11. The Saturdays 'Higher'
Welcome back, girls! After the awfulness that was their Wordshaker album, The Saturdays returned to their former glory with this infectious jam.

10. Miley Cyrus 'Who Owns My Heart'

After flirting with the Top 10 in both 2008's and 2009's year end list, Miley finally snuck in this year with her most mature single to date. 'Who Owns My Heart' unfortunately went nowhere on the charts, but it's proof that if Miley continues down the pop music path, she has a bright future ahead of her.

09. Katy Perry 'Teenage Dream'

Speaking of maturity, Katy Perry, the one-time singer of such immature dreck as 'Ur So Gay' and 'I Kissed a Girl,' grew up before our eyes with this ode to young love. Perry's fragile upper register adds a touch of beauty and tenderness that I think many covers of the song (including the Darren Criss one, although I believe it's brilliant in its own way) truly lack.

08. Rihanna featuring Jeezy 'Hard'

This is still the most brilliant dissection of a Rihanna song I've ever read and made me see 'Hard' in a whole new light. I've really grown to appreciate Rihanna's follow-up Loud in the past month, but I don't think anything will ever top her Rated R reign.

07. Darin 'You're Out of My Life'

Surprising, touching, tender, sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs worthy yet haunting and dark, Darin's Eurovision hopeful revealed that he is the next major pop artist to incorporate violence and death into his usual music.

06. Kylie Minogue 'Get Outta My Way'

Aphrodite was a disappointment, but 'Get Outta My Way' showed Kylie at her feisty, fearless, Girl Power best.

05. Robyn 'Dancing on My Own'
Robyn at her best, dancing through the heartbreak.

04. Selena Gomez & The Scene 'Round & Round'

This past July, I had a rough weekend. Some guy I was into was blatantly ignoring me and my roommates were gone for the weekend and had left a sink full of nasty dishes that could not wait until they came back to be washed. So I trudged upstairs, already in a pissy mood and turned on this song, which I had just downloaded, while I started washing the dishes. 'Round & Round' was on repeat and about 10 minutes in, I was just shouting the damn lyrics, eager to get rid of all my negative feelings. Selena (& The Scene) definitely helped me get through that rough night with this clever gem of a song.

03. M.I.A. 'XXXO'

Aside from 'Born Free,' the lone standout from M.I.A.'s horrid mess of an album was this song, her most commercial sounding to date. 'XXXO' is brilliant in its dissection of how pop culture wants celebrities to be pigeonholed into certain "types" and in its ability to be catchy at the same time. Bonus points for including a lyric about Quentin Tarantino.

02. Janelle Monáe 'Cold War'

'Tightrope' was Monáe's breakthrough, but 'Cold War' was the song I came to realize over time was the even more brilliant of the two. I have a hard time describing why I love this song so much. Something about it, whether it's the lyrics, the music or Monáe's vocals, connects with me on a deeper level than a vast majority of songs I've ever heard. Her album was a bit hit or miss for me, even though I appreciate what she was going for, but if she keeps on cranking out songs like this one, Monáe will continue to be on my good side.

01. Gabriella Cilmi 'On a Mission'

From the moment I first heard Cilmi's battle axe of a single very early this year, I knew that it would be one I wouldn't soon forget. But who would have guessed that 'On a Mission' would have hung on to the top spot, without any real competition, for the entire year? I sure didn't. But that goes to show you just how powerful and memorable of a song 'On a Mission' is. It became my battle cry during certain moments of the year, making me feel empowered when other media just wasn't cutting it. And during other times of the year, I was simply amazed by the lyrics ("I never miss a trick just like a magician"), Cilmi's delivery, the out-of-this-world beat and that brilliant Middle fucking 8 which contains as much brilliance in 20 seconds that many entire albums couldn't manage this year. A true "moment" for pop music and a song that I hope many will discover (or re-discover) in the future.

I Can't Believe That Bitch Kylie Minogue Stole From Lady GaGa

We all know that along with inventing music, notes and scales, Lady GaGa also invented the dome-shaped platinum blonde wig. Jesus, why are all these old hag pop stars that no one cares about anymore ripping off our beloved GaGa? It's like they have never had an original idea in their head and must steal from the fresh-faced newcomer in order to be relevant. Aphrodite? Bitch please, Kylie Minogue looks more like Buddha than the Greek goddess of love. If GaGa were a Greek god, she'd be Zeus because she runs this motherfucker.

Top 100 Songs of the 2000's: #20-1

Previous installments: #100-81 #80-61 #60-41 #40-21

20. Jessica Simpson 'I Think I'm In Love With You'
2000. From Sweet Kisses.

Of the four teen pop princesses who emerged in 1999-2000, Jessica Simpson (along with Brit, Xtina and Mandy Moore) gets the least amount of respect these days. I find it a shame that she's nothing more than tabloid fodder because underneath all of the Newlyweds, "dumb blonde" foolishness, there's a legitimate talent. When she gets a great pop song, she nails it (see also: 'A Little Bit,' 'With You,' 'Irresistible'). 'I Think I'm In Love With You,' sampling the fantastic hook from John Cougar Mellencamp's 'Jack & Diane,' is the perfect pop song, the embodiment of how I want to feel when I fall in love with someone. I want to sing that big note without a care in the world. One more than one occasion I've said that I love this song more than nearly every member of my extended family; it's still true and probably always will be.



19. Leona Lewis 'Run'
2008/9. From Spirit.

My only gripe with Britpop of the 2000's, a decade which saw the Brits deliver consistently more clever and creative pop music than us lazy Americans, is the way they constantly cover pop songs that had no business being covered (and the fact that they get to #1 again and again at an alarming rate). Just think of all Christmas #1's, X-Factor finalists/winners and charity singles that hit the top of the chart and then were quietly forgotten two weeks later. One of the very few exceptions to this rule is Leona Lewis's 'Run,' a cover of Snow Patrol's so-indie-it-hurts ballad. Leona turned this dire song into one of the biggest and most emotive power ballads since Celine Dion's heyday. Now, this how you cover a song.



18. Lady GaGa 'Bad Romance'
2009. From The Fame Monster.

A future classic. 'Bad Romance' is the moment everyone realized that GaGa wasn't fucking around.









17. Robyn featuring Kleerup 'With Every Heartbeat'
2008. From Robyn.

Whenever I hear some annoying twat complain about how shallow pop music is (especially in comparison with whatever precious indie shit they adore), I, first of all, want to shake them. After that, I would tell them to listen to Robyn's 'With Every Heartbeat,' a searing, unconventional portrait of a broken heart that is unashamed of its pop roots. The way she repeats "And it hurts with every heartbeat" over and over at the end is more emotive and real than all of your "real" music put together.




16. Destiny's Child 'Say My Name'
2000. From The Writing's on the Wall.

America's premiere girl group bounced right back from the nasty departure of two of its members with 'Say My Name,' the song that solidified their then-burgeoning fame. I simply adore the way this song plays around with tempo and pacing, oscillating back and forth, constantly surprising with what's coming next. Bonus points for that iconic music video--which girl's room do you want to be in?





15. Justin Timberlake featuring Timbaland 'SexyBack'
2006. From FutureSex/LoveSounds.

This song should have gotten old quickly. Thankfully, it hasn't. I can still listen to JT's sexy growling and Timbaland's constant "Yup!" and never get sick of it.








14. Beyoncé featuring Jay-Z 'Crazy in Love'
2003. From Dangerously in Love.

I don't fall head over heels in love with a song on first listen, but 'Crazy in Love' had me right from that opening trumpet wail. Beyoncé always had star power--'Crazy in Love' just proved that she had the ability to take over the pop world. Seven years later, we are still captivated by her.






13. Leona Lewis 'Bleeding Love'
2008. From Spirit.

My God, those lyrics! I simply can't get over how rich, emotive and surprisingly dark they are, even after hearing this song approximately 1400 times since its American debut in the spring of 2008. But this isn't the song's sole claim to success. Jesse McCartney, one of the song's co-writers, sang a version of it, but it never worked for me. Leona has this amazing knack to emote on my exact emotional level at all times. She turns 'Bleeding Love' from a great poem to an amazing musical experience.





12. Girls Aloud 'Sexy! No No No...'
2007. From Tangled Up.

The first Girls Aloud song I ever heard. What a way to start, hm? I love the absolutely relentless beat that gets heavier and heavier as the song moves along. It's so f-ing addictive, and I'm sure it is what made me a Girls Aloud convert right from the get-go (the insane punctuation in the song title sure didn't hurt either).






11. Mariah Carey 'We Belong Together'
2005. From The Emancipation of Mimi.

The moment America seemed to remember how much they truly loved Mariah after all those years of calling her crazy and washed up. I loved Mariah, even during those dark years (I still think Charmbracelet is an underrated album), but 'We Belong Together' reaffirmed those feelings like a renewal of marriage vows. A couple times a year, some R&B songstress tries to come out with a smooth R&B slow jam and try to out-Mariah Mariah. A couple times a year, those songs fail. No one does 'We Belong Together'-style balladeering better than the originator.





10. Kylie Minogue 'Love at First Sight'
2002. From Fever.

The idea of "love at first sight" is technically not a very groundbreaking concept in pop music. With 'Love at First Sight,' however, Kylie is able to capture that emotion like it was a startling breakthrough. In much the same way 'I Think I'm In Love With You' does, 'Love at First Sight' relates an idea or feeling that you hope to experience someday. Only pop music, I feel, has the power to take some emotion so mundane and make it completely zesty.




9. Ciara 'Like a Boy'
2007. From The Evolution.

Ciara stands up to all the wannabe gangsters and tough thugs in one of the cleverest take downs of this decade's rap culture...and no one pays attention. Sigh.







8. Missy Elliott 'Work It'
2002. From Under Construction.

This may not be Missy's most accomplished jam (which sounds like complaining about your least favorite track on Blackout), but it's the one I'm most fond of even after all these years. 'Work It' is Missy at the height of her powers, when she was making music for herself and having a damn good time doing it. The great thing was, everyone else was enjoying it too. 'Work It' was popular among my group of friends in high school, and I remember often talking about how insane and in-your-face this song is--especially that epic lyric in reverse during the chorus.






7. Amy Winehouse 'Rehab'
2006/7. From Back to Black.

Come back to the music world, Amy Winehouse, Amy Winehouse. This place simply isn't the same since your hasty, drug-induced departure. Who else but Amy Winehouse can make a song about refusing to get help for a drinking problem so beautiful and every so slightly sad at the same time (maybe Ke$ha, but less enthusiastically and soulfully)? I will never give up on this woman and her eventual re-ascension to the top of the music world.





6. P!nk 'Just Like a Pill'
2002. From M!ssundaztood.

P!nk's rebellious attitude had become her stock in trade by the time she released this single. Never before had she dabbled in such a dark, eerily moody place as she does in 'Just Like a Pill.' This song is often remembered only as a footnote after the twin mega-successes of 'Get the Party Started' and 'Don't Let Me Get Me,' but 'Just Like a Pill' stands on its own merits and showed the world a side of P!nk that hadn't been seen before.





5. Sugababes 'Push the Button'
2005. From Taller in More Ways.

The sexiest song ever recorded. I wasn't convinced at first, but now I want to make babies to this song.










4. Eve and Gwen Stefani 'Let Me Blow Ya Mind'
2001. From Scorpion.

The best example of post-Spice Girls "Girl Power." Rock and rap collide in this piercing take down of celebrity-hungry culture and rappers more concerned with bling than writing good rhymes. If only more people had paid attention to Eve's warning back in 2001, maybe we wouldn't have had to endure Souljaboy.

P.S. I know every word to this song. It's probably the only rap song I can say that about.





3. Kelly Clarkson 'Since U Been Gone'
2005. From Breakaway.

I'm sure this song is near the top, if not at the top, of everyone else's best of the decade list. But when a song has proven this influential (for good or for bad) and this monumental in such a short span of time, there's nothing left but to give it due credit and follow consensus. Never have I been happier to follow a trend.





2. Girls Aloud 'Biology'
2005. From Chemistry.

I still remember the moment when I realized 'Biology' was one of the greatest songs I had ever heard. I was driving home from work one random night, listening to my Girls Aloud mix CD. I had always liked 'Biology,' but something happened with the song that gave me chills. As weird as it may sound, I felt like I was having some grand epiphany of sorts. This is what pop music is about.

I love the way 'Biology' keeps on playing with your expectations without you even realizing it. The structure doesn't follow the typical verse/bridge/chorus we've come to expect from a three and a half minute pop song. Then, there's the way the first verse builds up to a heated, sexual frenzy, pausing more seductively with each "Closer," only to, for lack of a better expression, give you blue balls with the abstinence-friendly second verse. How many songs do you know that can take you up and then take you down like that all in a matter of seconds?




1. Nelly Furtado 'Say It Right'
2007. From Loose.

Surprised that a semi-serious song from everyone's favorite Canadian warbler is my favorite of the entire decade? I was rather surprised myself when I sat down to make this list that I kept coming back to this one as the song I felt most strongly about, the one that defined the whole decade for me. 'Say It Right' is a perfect, and admittedly strange, combination of mid-90's hip-hop, Eurthymics-style 80's synth pop, late 2000's American pop and East Asian zen. Add to that conflicting pile of influences the fact that I, nor even Nelly herself, knows exactly what this song is about or trying to be about. That hardly matters in the long run, though. When you have a song as mysteriously vague as 'Say It Right,' it's more fun trying to dissect its meaning rather than knowing straight off. For this reason (plus the fact that it's compulsively listenable), 'Say It Right' is officially my favorite song of the 2000's.

Music Video Iconography of the 2000's

I'm a child of the TRL Generation. Everyday, for years, I would rush right home after school and watch Carson Daly count down the Top 10 music videos of the day. As a result of this, I've seen many videos so many times they have literally become ingrained in my brain. I can recall certain images and moments in the most random of music videos that others have forgotten years ago. It is sad but true. Anyways, with the close of the decade, I wanted to pay tribute to some of the most iconic images from the music videos of the 2000's. Whether it's an outfit, a dance or just a look, these are iconic moments that made me gay, made me laugh and celebrated my love for the artform. How many of these do you recognize?

In rough chronological order...