Top 10 Albums of 2011

But What About...: The most acclaimed album of the year, Adele's 21, was a major improvement over her debut and featured six or seven killer tracks. But, in all honesty, a good portion left me completely cold. Maybe 23 will be the album where it all comes together for me...Rihanna's Talk That Talk had the best opening three songs of any album released this year. The rest of the album: miserable, monotonous "jams" about how horny Rihanna is. We all know you can do better, Miss Fenty.

The Also-Rans: Kelendria Rowland finally released her long-delayed Here I Am, and it proved to be far better than I expected...Kelly Clarkson's Stronger has many high points, but 18 tracks is far too long for any album to sustain greatness. Cut about five songs and this would have been a far greater album...Alexis Jordan's Alexis Jordan was certainly a pleasant debut. Nothing groundbreaking, mind you, but she has charm and personality to spare...My most anticipated album of the year, Demi Lovato's Unbroken, also proved to be one of the strangest. Her bizarre attempts to become a generic pop star are embarrassing to say the least. Thankfully, though, the album's second half shines, with deeply felt ballads and exciting, emotional uptempo tracks. This is the Demi we want on album number four, thank you very much.

The Top 10 Albums of 2011

10. Cher Lloyd, Sticks + Stones

The X-Factor Princess (she doesn't want to be the Queen) wasn't as sanitized as I figured she would be on her debut album. It's not perfect, but it establishes the Cher Lloyd identity very well.

Three Moments:

- The post-chorus breakdown at the very end of "Swagger Jagger"

- The mix of rap and pop in "Playa Boi." Everything that's great about Cher in one song.

- "I'm the princess, I don't want to be the queen." The perfect summation of Cher's persona in "Grow Up"

09. Nicola Roberts, Cinderella's Eyes

Although not my favorite album of the year, I feel like this is one Girls Aloud solo album we will be looking back at fondly in years to come.

Three Moments:

- The final "Please don't/Break my porcelain hearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt" on "Porcelain Heart"

- The "Ding dong" intro to "Gladiator"

- The Diplo production on "Beat of My Drum". Audacious way to start an album and a campaign. Who is this woman?

08. Foster the People, Torches

The most welcome surprise of the year. Indie music done with a pop sensibility. It's not Britney, but it doesn't shy away from big choruses, either.

Three Moments:

- The quiet mysteriousness of "Pumped Up Kicks". I still couldn't tell you what this song is about.

- Whistling on "Don't Stop (Color on the Walls)". More songs should have whistling.

- "And every daaaaay that you wanna waste." Surprisingly epic chorus in "Waste."

07. Frankmusik, Do It in the AM

Oh Vincent. Why didn't this album make you the household name you should be? Many accused him of selling out, but if "selling out" sounds as glorious as this album does, a lot more popstars should do it.

Three Moments:

- The chorus of "Running." That beat makes it feel like you are running, or at least like you should be.

- His blazing chemistry with Colette Carr on "No I.D." I've said it before and I'll say it again: one of the best genuine duets in ages.

- "We Collide." Now that's an album opener. What a defining statement of his new sound.

06. Natalia Kills, Perfectionist

Is she trying a bit hard to channel Gaga circa the Fame Monster era? Perhaps. But can you think of a better era to channel Gaga? Besides, Natalia still manages to build her own persona through her referencing.

Three Moments:

- The easy breeziness of the opening to "Kill My Boyfriend": "I'm rolling the dice, got the wind in my hair/I'm gonna kill my boyfriend." Killer (ha!) contrast.

- The sound of "Mirrors."

- "Wanna be like Midas/But my bank account is minus." The wordplay on "Free" is fun and clever as hell.

05. Same Difference, The Rest is History

Everyone's Favorite Loveable, Slightly Incestuous Brother & Sister Pop Act came roaring back with the follow-up to their ingenious debut Pop. Not only have they updated their image, but their sound is a good deal more mature. This duo obviously knows their shit when it comes to pop music.

Three Moments:

- "Karma Karma" is a three minute orgasm of pop perfection.

- The moodiness and vocal distortion on "Souled Out" is unlike anything Sean & Sarah have done before. No surprise, it works.

- For once, Sean gets the lead vocals on "Best Mistake" and absolutely nailed it. Snaps for you, sir.

04. One Direction, Up All Night

This is the album I wanted from these boys and more. I can't stop listening.

Three Moments:

- "If only you saw what I could see/You'd understand why I want you so desperately" from "What Makes You Beautiful." One of the most heartwarming lyrics I've heard in ages. Seriously.

- The heavy, RedOne-esque dance club feel of "Save You Tonight."

- "It's everything about you, you, you/The way you make it feel new, new, new" from "Everything About You."

03. Selena Gomez & The Scene, When the Sun Goes Down

The future of pop music matures her sound even further from her last album. When did the also-ran of Disney's princesses become the best?

Three Moments:

- "My Dilemma." It became the song people associate with me for a reason.

- The bridge in "Whiplash." The way she says, "Hello, darling" makes me love her even more than I already did.

- "And I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat" from "Love You Like a Love Song."

02. Beyoncé, 4

Not going to lie, it took ages to get into this album, but 4 was ultimately worth the wait. Finally, Beyoncé stopped phoning it in with her albums. This is an incredible tribute to 90's-era R&B.

Three Moments:

- I could jam out to "Rather Die Young" all day long, singing hardcore into my remote control while imagining it was a microphone. "I'd rather die than live, and, OH!"

- The actual countdown in "Countdown."

- "Who needs a degree when you're schoolin' life?" Most people need a degree, actually, but Beyoncé doesn't when she's spitting out tracks as hot and fun as "Schoolin' Life."

01. Britney Spears, Femme Fatale

Producer Dr. Luke, after the release of this album, rightly declared that Britney is "her own genre" of music. If there was an album to prove that, Femme Fatale is it. Can you imagine anyone else singing these songs?

Three Moments:

- The hard verse/soft chorus contrast in "Hold It Against Me". This proved to be 2011's most imitated musical trend.

- "Sh-sh-shame on me/To need release" and the accompanying whistling in the background on "I Wanna Go"

- "I can be your treble/Baby, you can be the bass." No one has more fun than Britney with double entendres.

The Ladies of 2011

Yes, we are officially a month and a half into 2012 now, but there are still Best of 2011 lists to be made. I will not rest until they are all complete. So, let's get started, shall we? I gave you my Imaginary Boyfriends back in January. Now let's look at the women who made 2011 their bitch.

Friday Women: Katy Perry and Rebecca Black

If you were as shocked as I was at how big Katy Perry was in 2010, I bet you were just as shocked when she continued to be huge in 2011. I never would have guessed in a million years that Teenage Dream would not only churn out #1 hit after #1 hit a year after its release but that its 2011 singles would build upon the Katy Perry brand in unexpected and interesting ways. "E.T." was an unexpected fourth single, particularly since the mind-numbingly pedestrian "Peacock" was always a viable single choice, and showed Katy in a more mature light than "I Kissed a Girl" or even "California Gurls" from eight months previously. I wouldn't accuse "Last Friday Night" of being anywhere near as good of a song as "E.T.," but it did manage to have one of the best music videos of the year. Although massive in length, it manages the impressive task of never valuing the narrative over the music. The video is gloriously overstuffed with people dancing, swinging off banisters, puking and rocking out, but still feels like a real party you would want to be invited to.

Perhaps the smartest move for Katy in regards to her "Last Friday Night" video: casting the "other" Friday girl of 2011, Rebecca Black, as her friend/makeover specialist. It's stunt casting, sure, but Rebecca really sells it, looking every bit as unforced and personable as we have come to expect from her since her "debut" earlier in the year. The debut I speak of is, of course, "Friday," the internet sensation that became a full-blown phenomenon over the course of a couple days. The video was so bad, it had to be seen to be believed. And seen again and again and again. I probably watched it 50 times those first few days. It wasn't until much later that I realized I was still watching because of Rebecca herself. Say what you want about her or her voice, the girl has Charisma with a capital C and manages to pull the attention away from the horrible video surrounding her. Move over, Disney sluts: we have a new tween star on the rise.

The Legend & The Future of Pop: Britney Spears and Selena Gomez

When The Legendary Miss Britney Spears releases new music, it's an Event. Femme Fatale, her latest album, was no exception, proving that not only still a force to be reckoned with post-Gaga but that she also had some new tricks up her sleeve (the influence of the hard verse/soft chorus in "Hold It Against Me" could be heard in many songs by the end of the year). But an even bigger cause for celebration is the fact that Britney chose her heir to the pop throne in 2011: former Disney queen Selena Gomez. By giving her one of her songs--the utterly amazing "Whiplash"--Britney has symbolically decided on the future of pop music. And what a future she picked! Selena's 2011 album, When the Sun Goes Down, pushed her past both Demi and Miley as the supreme former Disney pop star. In just a couple of years, she has not only matured her sound but has also found a comfortable niche in the pop kingdom. All that and dating the biggest pop star in the world? Girlfriend really is taking lessons from Britney. And you couldn't ask for a better teacher.

Maids of (Dis)Honor: Kristen Wiig and Pippa Middleton

Both Kristen Wiig's character in Bridesmaids and Pippa Middleton were horrible maids of honor but in completely different ways. I'm sure everyone is well aware of my infatuation with Bridesmaids, so I'll spare you my rambling on how much I love Wiig's portrayal of a maid of honor hilariously battling depression, a shitty job, a new threat to her relationship with her best friend and food poisoning. She reeks havoc everywhere she goes. But even if it's messy, we at least know it will be funny as hell. Pippa, on the other hand, was more subtle with her destruction of the bride's shining moment. As you are all aware, Pippa was the maid of honor at the royal marriage of her sister Kate Middleton and Prince William. Instead of blending in the background like a good maid of honor, however, Pippa stole the spotlight. Every headline the day of the wedding mentioned Pippa and her gorgeous, sleek dress, which was not only white but every bit as pretty as Kate's actual wedding dress. That sneaky bitch! I like to imagine Pippa as the wild child of the Middleton clan, so I truly hope she fulfilled the duties of the maid of honor and slept with best man Prince Harry.

Plus-Sized Girls Have More Fun: Adele and Melissa McCarthy

Who says skinny bitches have all the fun? In 2011, Adele and Melissa McCarthy made headlines and stole shows based on actual talent rather than looks or notoriety. Between them, they racked up three #1 hits, an Emmy, six Grammys, two SAG nominations, an album with global sales of 17 million and an Oscar nomination. Not a bad haul, I must say. And to say their immense success was unexpected is a massive understatement. Who would have guessed in October 2010 that a neo-soul singer would find a sound that manages to appeal both to young, hip kids and older, more conservative listeners? Or that a plus-sized actress playing a crass, vulgar character in a blockbuster gross-out comedy would sneak past more traditional performances (like those of Shailene Woodley or Vanessa Redgrave) and snag an Oscar nomination? If the title of the first 2011 movie I saw proved anything, it's that you should never say never when it comes to unexpected critical and commercial darlings.

Songs of 2011: "My Dilemma" and "What Do I Have to Do"

I'll be announcing my 20 favorite songs of the past year within the next couple of days (catch up with 50-21 here). But until then, I wanted to briefly talk about two of the most important songs to me this year that were ineligible for my end of the year list for various reasons (one is an album track while the other is over 20 years old). These two songs got me through some rough patches this past year, and I am eternally grateful that they came into my life when they did.

Selena Gomez & The Scene, in my estimation, is quickly becoming one of the best pop acts around. Between their debut album and this year's When the Sun Goes Down, no artist has matured and found their sound quicker than Selena & The Scene. And within that short period of time, they have become the go-to artist for songs about indecisive men who send mixed signals about what they want leaving you confused and frustrated. "Round & Round", their first stab at this type of song, was my fourth favorite song of 2010. With such incredibly large shoes to fill, how would another song in this admittedly small genre even compare? Not only did this song handily surpass its predecessor, it also outshines nearly everything in Selena & The Scene's entire discography. Lumped in between two of the album's lesser tracks toward the end, "My Dilemma" can be easy to miss if you're not paying attention.

But you would really be doing yourself a disservice underestimating or, even worse, ignoring this track altogether. "My Dilemma" touches on what I suspect (or I hope since it happened to me repeatedly this past year and I don't want to feel so damned alone!) is a universal problem for a lot of us out there: men who confuse the fuck out of us. It's a song about how you can see every fault a guy has and tell yourself that you are over them, but the minute they are online or they text you something nice, you have to stop everything and talk to them. You hate yourself for doing it later on, but it feels so right in the moment and there's nothing you can do to stop yourself. And it finally gets to the point where you are not even interested in the guy anymore, you just love all the attention and drama of the situation. The lyrics of "My Dilemma" are simple, yet they nimbly and ably navigate this precarious situation. What really sells the song for me, I must admit, is Selena's vocals. The way she switches between high and low notes reflects the indecisiveness of the song: just as she can't decide how she feels about this boy, she can't decide whether she wants to sing the song in a falsetto or in her normal range. It's a smart choice for a smart song, and shows off Selena as one of the smartest vocalists around.

Within the first few months of 2011, I really got into Kylie Minogue's discography, finally getting around to listening to all of her early albums. I was already familiar with "What Do I Have to Do" when I was going through her Rhythm of Love album, but it wasn't until this year that the song really clicked for me. And boy did it ever click for me--rather unfortunately, I must add, as the song is all about pining for an oblivious guy showing absolutely no interest in you romantically. It's quite funny, actually, because, sonically, "What Do I Have to Do" sounds like the uplifting, catchy pop song we expected from her at this time. But, buried beneath Kylie's sweet delivery is a raging torrent of melancholy and longing. "What Do I Have to Do" is quite possibly the most devastating song in Kylie's discography--and that's saying a lot because the woman has done quite a few melancholic tracks over the years.

Half-Way Report for 2011

Top 5 Films

05. Source Code (Duncan Jones)

The tepid reviews really watered down any expectations, so I was surprised to find a fine mix of a great gimmick, intelligent action sequences and an achingly beautiful and unsentimental romance. Source Code had me under its spell the entire runtime, a spell that even a horribly botched ending couldn't completely break.

04. Scream 4 (Wes Craven)

Instead of phoning it in, Craven & Co. deliver another excellent installment in this horror franchise. Bonus points: will I have this much fun at another movie this year? I haven't been so giggly in a theatre since I saw Secretariat and my friend Sammi kept shouting "Oscar! Oscar!" at all of Diane Lane's big Moments.

03. Downton Abbey (Julian Fellowes)

Witty, absorbing and intelligent with a great ratio of serious and silly, Julian Fellowes' expansion of his Gosford Park was one of the most surprising things I've seen all year. And who says Masterpiece Theatre is only for old geezers?

02. Bridesmaids (Paul Feig)

This film had me at Kristen Wiig in raunchy female comedy. But who would have guessed just how funny and real it was going to be?!

01. Hanna (Joe Wright)

As you are all well aware, action films are not my favorite genre, but when you have an ace stylist like Joe Wright who knows how to construct images and scenes with a distinctive visual flair that don't feel gratuitous (unlike a certain other French Canadian director everyone is so crazy about), a bombastic score from The Chemical Brothers and a hard-as-nails lead performance from one of the only decent under 18 actors around, you have the very best film of the year so far. And I can't imagine not loving this by year end either.

Top 5 Performances

05. Michael Fassbender, Jane Eyre

Sex sex sex sex sex sex. He's practically dripping with testosterone and hard, angry lust in all of his best scenes in Jane Eyre.

04. Saoirse Ronan, Hanna

Who would have guessed that the same girl from Atonement would also be a total Ellen Ripley? Kudos to her for balancing the pathos with the ass-kicking.

03. Maya Rudolph, Bridesmaids

She obviously the straight woman to Wiig's whacked out nutiness, but she kills in her own comedic moments. Plus, Rudolph adds a touch of sweetness to the bawdy comedy surrounding her.

02. Dame Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Dame Maggie plays Dame Maggie here--a crusty old grandmother who won't stand for foolishness or foreign ideas--but no one does Dame Maggie like the legend herself. Her wonderful comedic timing ("What is a weekend?") punctuates and accentuates what could have been a dry melodrama.

01. Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids

The fact that she plays a desperate, single maid of honor who can't hold a job, gets involved in sexual relationships with idiots who don't deserve her, likes to partaaaaaay and makes lots of penis jokes sounds like it was tailor-made for me. But, despite all the major (and deserved) guffaws, Wiig plays Annie with a sense of realness and legitimacy often ignored in comedies of this nature.

Top 5 Rentals

05. Europa Europa

A Holocaust film about survival from a different angle than you're accustomed to seeing. This one blew me away and not just because the male lead went full frontal in the first five minutes. (My review here)

04. Female

Without a doubt, the Pre-Code era was one of the most liberating for actresses. This film with Ruth Chatterton as a powerful CEO whose career is her life and men are just sexual playthings is one of the best from that period. It's not-so-subtle approach to sex will baffle audiences who think old films are all chaste and wholesome. (My review here)

03. The Last Command

Josef von Sternberg's tale of a former Russian general exiled in Hollywood as a silent film extra appears a tad farfetched on paper, especially when you consider that he begins work on a film directed by a Communist he personally sent to prison. Unbelievable or not, it's a great film, a fine example of the type of complex dramas Hollywood was able to crank out like clockwork in the Golden Age.

02. Billy Liar

Tom Courtenay is often forgotten among British New Wave heavies like Albert Finney and Richard Harris. A shame since many of his films and his performance hold up far better than any of Finney's (especially from this era). Billy Liar is a surprisingly funny and unself-conscious film for the period with Courtenay as our plucky hero, a working class chap who spends his days escaping his dreary existence through his own fantasy world. Julie Christie, of all actresses, lends support as his quirky and fun friend/possible love interest who encourages his fantasy.

01. The Prince and the Showgirl

This Laurence Olivier directed comedy about a stubborn, conceited prince (Olivier) and the vivacious, smarter-than-she-looks showgirl who falls for him (Marilyn Monroe) really should have been a disaster. The man who won an Oscar for Hamlet acting against Hollywood's most notorious "dumb blonde" bombshell? Get out of here. Somehow, by the grace of Oprah, it all came together in one of the most charming and funny romantic comedies of the 50's. Olivier is great playing the pompous cad, but Monroe is the real story here. Her umpteenth take on the showgirl role is one of the cleverest performances of her career, only outclassed by Some Like It Hot and The Misfits.

Top 5 Songs

05. Katy Perry "E.T."

An unusual but ultimately beautiful love song. Who would have guessed that after "I Kissed a Girl" Katy would have something like this in her?

04. Rihanna "Man Down"

The Rated R Era officially comes to an end with this reconciliation of that album's dark, violent imagery and the Loud Era's more commercial tendencies. The result is a brilliant synthesis of the two Rihanna polarities.

03. Eric Saade "Popular"

So gloriously over-the-top and manic how can you not love it?

02. Nicole Scherzinger "Don't Hold Your Breath"

My personal anthem for 2011. For serious.

01. Nicki Minaj "Super Bass"

It has become my main goal in life to learn all the lyrics to this song. I'm getting pretty good, for a white guy, anyways, which is especially encouraging since this is one of Nicki's faster raps. Everything about this song is pure joy. I've listened to it 60+ times in just a month and a half and I haven't even come close to getting sick of it.

Top 5 Bonus Tracks, B-sides, Remixes & Other Assorted Non-Singles

05. Le Kid "Mr. Brightside"

The reason I don't dismiss every cover song on the planet is because of covers like this, a fun and bouncy reconfiguring of the Killers' big, somewhat dark pop anthem.

04. Beyoncé "Run the World (Girls) (Dave Audé Radio Edit)"

I'm not normally into remixes except in instances when they improve the original (and don't go on for 8 minutes at a time). Why Beyoncé hasn't done a full-blown dance album yet is beyond me.

03. Andrew Rannells "I Believe"

It's all about one lyric: "And I believe that in 1978 God changed his mind about black people (Black people!)"

02. Rihanna featuring Britney Spears "S&M (Remix)"

Slutty Britney is still my favorite Britney, so I can't tell you how excited I was to hear her inimitable voice moan out "Na na na come on" in the beginning. I know a lot of people either violently hated or shrugged their shoulders at this remix but not me. It's dumb and ridiculous and slutty and exactly the way a song called "S&M" should be.

01. Selena Gomez "Who Says (Dave Audé Radio Edit)"

A vast improvement over the midtempo original. Why this wasn't done as a dancefloor inspirational jam in the first place beats the hell out of me.

Top 5 Albums

05. Alexis Jordan, Alexis Jordan

A fine debut from a rising star. Nothing especially groundbreaking but it has become a compulsively listenable album in the months since I first heard it.

04. Original Cast, The Book of Mormon (Original Broadway Cast Recording)

Everything you would expect from a Matt Stone and Trey Parker skewering of the Mormon religion and then some. Even non fans of South Park would get a kick out of this.

03. Same Difference, The Rest Is History

Everyone's favorite slightly incestuous brother-sister pop duo Same Difference is back and all grown up this time. The glorious key changes are ditched in favor of sleeker, sexier dance pop. A refreshing and worthy follow-up to their fantastic debut.

02. Selena Gomez & The Scene, When the Sun Goes Down

In the matter of 18 short months, Selena has gone from Disney's fourth largest commodity (after the Brothers Jonas, Miley & Demi, obviously) to one of the brightest beacons of hope for the future of pop music. One of the album's key tracks, the killer "Whiplash," was co-written by the Queen herself, Britney, and it almost looks like a way of her passing the torch and giving approval to her eventual successor...

01. Britney Spears, Femme Fatale

...That is if Britney was ready to go anywhere. Twelve years into her career and Britney only gets better, constantly surprising us with the directions she is taking her music.

Top 5 Music Videos

05. Rihanna "S&M"

Rihanna is not really a music video artist, which is a shame because it's an area she should be excelling in. "S&M" is one of her rare videos that deviates from the "I'm just gonna stand around and look pretty" norm. I love the bright colors of the mise-en-scène and the way Rihanna goes balls the wall with the S&M imagery. If it wasn't for the hyper kinetic editing which distracts more often than it should, I'd say it was her masterpiece.

04. Britney Spears "I Wanna Go"

"Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're cool. Fuck you. I'm out." As if Britney could be any more legendary. Has Britney ever had this much fun in a music video?

03. Hurts "Sunday"

A glorious reinterpretation of the Orpheus myth which builds on the well-established persona of Hurts as the most depressing, dapper duo in music today.

02. Beyoncé "Run the World (Girls)"

01. Robyn "Call Your Girlfriend"

I'm pretty sure I've said all I need to say about these two videos.

Top 5 Obsessions

05. Kylie Minogue's Discography
After Christmas, I randomly picked up a used copy of Kylie's Fever album and fell in love with it. Having such a major success with that one, I downloaded another. Yet again a corker, so I downloaded another. And the cycle went on and on until I had all of her studio albums in my possession. If anything, I'm grateful for this little jaunt of mine for making me realize the absolute brilliance that is "Your Disco Needs You" and, especially, "What Do I Have to Do".

04. Michael Fassbender in Jane Eyre and X-Men: First Class

He is the walking sex. I can't even. How did those actors get through their scenes without dropping their pants and bending over in front of him?

03. Brideshead Revisited

How did people watch miniseries before the invention of the DVD?  I don't know how I would have waited a week between installments of this popular British miniseries from 1981, starring Jeremy Irons and Anthony Andrews. I was like a carnivore as soon as that red Netflix envelope came in my mailbox, tearing it to shreads and rushing to put the DVD in the player. This series was so good, y'all, especially the first half with Andrews as the drole, alcoholic, guilt-ridden Sebasitan Flyte.

02. Tom Courtenay

I've become such an uber fan of Courtenay's in the past couple of months I watched Doctor fucking Zhivago again just for him and his Oscar nomination. Yes, I re-watched a bloody David Lean film for him. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

01. Random TLC Shows

Extreme Couponing. Toddlers & Tiaras. My Strange Addiction.  The best programming in all of television is on this channel. And to think I once dismissed TLC as the channel where every show is about midgets and obnoxiously large families.

Top 5 Hot Guys

(New/recent obsessions since this list would otherwise be all Michael Fassbender)

05. Marlon Teixeira

04. Eric Saade

03. Josh Hutcherson

02. Aaron Tveit

01. Armie Hammer

Top 5 Blog Posts

05. Dame Wears Black for Andy

I'm still in mourning.

04. Even My Grandma Thinks I'm Gonna Die Alone

In which even my lovely 84 year old grandma realizes that I am Liz Lemon.

03. Sex & Blue Valentine

My analysis of one sex scene that haunted me in Blue Valentine.

02. My Oscar Dream

Is this really how I'm gonna win my Oscar? Lord I hope so.

01. Top 10 Sonny With a Chance Moments

Goodbye, my beloved show. It was a great run while it lasted. Here's hoping the lovely cast finds much success afterwards (especially once this So Random! thing ends).

A Birthday Tribute to My Dear Friend Kelli

One of my best friends on the planet is turning 23 today. So, as a way of celebrating this joyous occasion, I thought I'd make a post full of things that remind me of her. Happy birthday, Kelli!

Top 50 Songs of 2010

2010 has been officially over for about 12 hours, so let's take a quick look back at the hottest singles of the past year.

Not Eligible: Only actual singles are considered for this list. This means that songs such as Rihanna's 'Man Down' and 'Fading,' Robyn's 'U Should Know Better,' Joe McElderry's 'If You Love Me' and Cheryl Cole's 'Waiting,' which otherwise would have made the list, are disqualified. Also, my eligibility dates run from December of '09 to November of '10. This is only because sometimes it takes me awhile to warm up to a song and I feel like it's unfair that a song 2 weeks old should compete with one I've had 4 months to spend pondering. So, this rule disqualifies Joe McElderry's 'Someone Wake Me Up' and Frankmusik's 'The Fear Inside,' both of which should make a strong showing on next year's list.

10 Runner-ups: Alexandra Burke 'The Silence' | Alex Gaudino 'I'm In Love (I Wanna Do It)' | Drake 'Find Your Love' | David Archuleta 'Something 'Bout Love' | Alphabeat 'Heat Wave' | Rihanna 'Rude Boy' | Kate Nash 'Do-Wah-Doo' | Marina & The Diamonds 'Shampain' | Kelis 'Scream' | Alex Gardner 'I'm Not Mad'

50. Sophie Ellis-Bextor 'Bittersweet'
49. Rihanna 'Only Girl (In the World)'
48. Cee-Lo Green 'Fuck You'
47. Kelis 'Acapella'
46. Kelly Rowland 'Commander'
45. Ed Drewett 'Champagne Lemonade'
44. Nelly 'Just a Dream'
Nelly hasn't been relevant in ages, but he made a big comeback with this unexpected slow jam much in the vein of his earlier 'Over and Over.'
43. Diana Vickers 'My Wicked Heart'
Vickers at her most stylized. Amazing stuff if you can get past it.
42. 3OH!3 featuring Katy Perry 'Starstrukk'
41. Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris 'Baby'
Silly fluff, but done in such a way that it actually kinda becomes sweet. A nice flashback to the days of junior high relationships.

40. Kris Allen 'Alright With Me'
39. Rihanna 'Rockstar 101'
38. Janelle Monáe featuring Big Boi 'Tightrope'
37. Katy B 'Katy on a Mission'
I'm not exactly sure what Katy B is singing about, but this song just feels right nonetheless. And it's surprisingly catchy!
36. The Hoosiers 'Choices'
35. Grum 'Can't Shake This Feeling'
34. Ke$ha 'Your Love Is My Drug'
33. Freemasons featuring Wynter Gordon 'Believer'
A bit of a late entrant to this list. I only just discovered this song's brilliance about a month ago and I haven't been able to stop listening since. Wynter Gordon is a true talent on the rise.
32. Lady GaGa 'Alejandro'
31. Marina & the Diamonds 'Oh No!'

30. Darin 'Lovekiller'
29. Selena Gomez & The Scene 'Naturally'
28. The Pretty Reckless 'Make Me Wanna Die'
Taylor Momsen becomes the second Gossip Girl star with a promising music career. Who'd have guessed that back in 2007?
27. Sky Ferreira 'One'
26. Sabrina Washington 'OMG'
Obviously, the better of the two singles titled 'OMG' this year. Now if only people would actually listen to this one.
25. Hurts 'Wonderful Life'
24. Lady GaGa featuring Beyoncé 'Telephone'
23. Miley Cyrus 'Can't Be Tamed'
22. Leighton Meester 'Your Love's a Drug'
21. Mark Ronson & The Business Int'l featuring Q-Tip and MNDR 'Bang Bang Bang'

20. Nicki Minaj 'Your Love'
Ingenious sample, brilliant rap, heartbreaking finale. The moment Nicki Minaj really clicked for me.
19. Gabriella Cilmi 'Hearts Don't Lie'
18. Justin Bieber 'Somebody to Love'
17. Joe McElderry 'Ambitions'
16. Alexandra Burke 'Start Without You'
15. Selena Gomez & The Scene 'A Year Without Rain'
Selena (& The Scene) risks alienating the Disney crowd with this sensual song of romantic longing. The lyrics make it sound like kids' stuff, but her delivery makes 'A Year Without Rain' one of the most tender love songs of the year.
14. Alexandra Burke featuring Pitbull 'All Night Long'
Alexandra Gurl takes it to the club with this massive, trance-inducing pop song.
13. Alphabeat 'DJ (I Could Be Dancing)'
12. Diana Vickers 'Once'
11. The Saturdays 'Higher'
Welcome back, girls! After the awfulness that was their Wordshaker album, The Saturdays returned to their former glory with this infectious jam.

10. Miley Cyrus 'Who Owns My Heart'

After flirting with the Top 10 in both 2008's and 2009's year end list, Miley finally snuck in this year with her most mature single to date. 'Who Owns My Heart' unfortunately went nowhere on the charts, but it's proof that if Miley continues down the pop music path, she has a bright future ahead of her.

09. Katy Perry 'Teenage Dream'

Speaking of maturity, Katy Perry, the one-time singer of such immature dreck as 'Ur So Gay' and 'I Kissed a Girl,' grew up before our eyes with this ode to young love. Perry's fragile upper register adds a touch of beauty and tenderness that I think many covers of the song (including the Darren Criss one, although I believe it's brilliant in its own way) truly lack.

08. Rihanna featuring Jeezy 'Hard'

This is still the most brilliant dissection of a Rihanna song I've ever read and made me see 'Hard' in a whole new light. I've really grown to appreciate Rihanna's follow-up Loud in the past month, but I don't think anything will ever top her Rated R reign.

07. Darin 'You're Out of My Life'

Surprising, touching, tender, sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs worthy yet haunting and dark, Darin's Eurovision hopeful revealed that he is the next major pop artist to incorporate violence and death into his usual music.

06. Kylie Minogue 'Get Outta My Way'

Aphrodite was a disappointment, but 'Get Outta My Way' showed Kylie at her feisty, fearless, Girl Power best.

05. Robyn 'Dancing on My Own'
Robyn at her best, dancing through the heartbreak.

04. Selena Gomez & The Scene 'Round & Round'

This past July, I had a rough weekend. Some guy I was into was blatantly ignoring me and my roommates were gone for the weekend and had left a sink full of nasty dishes that could not wait until they came back to be washed. So I trudged upstairs, already in a pissy mood and turned on this song, which I had just downloaded, while I started washing the dishes. 'Round & Round' was on repeat and about 10 minutes in, I was just shouting the damn lyrics, eager to get rid of all my negative feelings. Selena (& The Scene) definitely helped me get through that rough night with this clever gem of a song.

03. M.I.A. 'XXXO'

Aside from 'Born Free,' the lone standout from M.I.A.'s horrid mess of an album was this song, her most commercial sounding to date. 'XXXO' is brilliant in its dissection of how pop culture wants celebrities to be pigeonholed into certain "types" and in its ability to be catchy at the same time. Bonus points for including a lyric about Quentin Tarantino.

02. Janelle Monáe 'Cold War'

'Tightrope' was Monáe's breakthrough, but 'Cold War' was the song I came to realize over time was the even more brilliant of the two. I have a hard time describing why I love this song so much. Something about it, whether it's the lyrics, the music or Monáe's vocals, connects with me on a deeper level than a vast majority of songs I've ever heard. Her album was a bit hit or miss for me, even though I appreciate what she was going for, but if she keeps on cranking out songs like this one, Monáe will continue to be on my good side.

01. Gabriella Cilmi 'On a Mission'

From the moment I first heard Cilmi's battle axe of a single very early this year, I knew that it would be one I wouldn't soon forget. But who would have guessed that 'On a Mission' would have hung on to the top spot, without any real competition, for the entire year? I sure didn't. But that goes to show you just how powerful and memorable of a song 'On a Mission' is. It became my battle cry during certain moments of the year, making me feel empowered when other media just wasn't cutting it. And during other times of the year, I was simply amazed by the lyrics ("I never miss a trick just like a magician"), Cilmi's delivery, the out-of-this-world beat and that brilliant Middle fucking 8 which contains as much brilliance in 20 seconds that many entire albums couldn't manage this year. A true "moment" for pop music and a song that I hope many will discover (or re-discover) in the future.

Hugging It Out, Russo Style

Send It On, On and On

Over the past couple of weeks, I've become obsessed with Disney's attempt to cash in on this whole environmental awareness thing that's become hip in the past year or so: a power ballad called 'Send It On' and performed by all of Disney's largest commodities in a "We Are the World" sort of way. Together, for the first time, we have The Brothers Jonas, Miley, Demi and Selena ready to cash their paychecks save the world. In case you haven't heard it yet, here's the video for you to enjoy (it's a hoot!).



First of all, isn't the song itself hilarious? The lyrics are as inane as you can possibly imagine ("And love isn't love/Until you give it away"? Oy vey) but the real story is in the vocal deliveries. The song is kind of mellow throughout, with Nick & Miley, Joe & Demi and Kevin & Selena (?) taking turns with a verse each, but, by the end, it descends into some kind of vocal "powerhouse" match with Miley trying to out shout Demi's lovely strong voice (it's actually somewhat reminds me of the time Jennifer Hudson and Holliday dueted on "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" and the whole song was just them saying "fuck it" to the melody by shouting runs and making ridiculous faces to prove how emotional they are about it).

Secondly, I can't be the only one would have murdered just to be a fly on the wall of that video shoot. There is enough tween drama between these six (er, five...poor Kevin is left on the sidelines yet again) to fill seven issues of Tiger Beat magazine. Just imagine their inner monologues when this group photo was taken:

Joe: People thinking I'm fucking Demi. Who's the man? I am!

Demi: Bitch please, why are people thinking I would fuck that disgusting scrub? I have the best show on the Disney Channel and the best album of the year; I don't need his talentless ass hanging around me anymore. Oh, and Miley's still totally a bitch.

Nick: I totally nailed two chicks on this set!

Selena: Why does Miley get to sing with Nick? I'm totally prettier than her. And he told me she was lousy in bed. Ugh, I wish people would stop thinking D and I made up with that country bumpkin.

Miley: Yee haw, y'all! I'm just totally happy to be here. I wonder when Demi and Selena will pose with me for pics for my Facebook. They're totally my new BFF's now. I mean, helloooooooooo, we are totally awesome together. Hopefully Nick and I can get some alone time together. I just hope he doesn't call me "Zac" while we're doing it.

Kevin: Hey guys, I'm back here!

I don't know about you, but I totally can't wait for the behind-the-scenes, made-for-Lifetime movie that's sure to come about in five years (probably in a double feature with one about the Grey's cast). Let's hope someone has a secret drug addiction just to make the drama even juicier!