Saturday, December 13, 2014

Imaginary Boyfriends of 2014

Past Imaginary Boyfriends countdowns: 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008

Finn Bálor (aka Fergal "Prince" Devitt)
Hideo Itami (aka Kenta)
Two of the WWE's newest wrestlers (er, superstars) to their developmental promotion, NXT, were actually two veteran indie wrestlers finally hitting the big time. Itami, formerly known as Kenta, is known for originating many of the moves that CM Punk and Daniel Bryan eventually made famous in the WWE. I'm more familiar with Bálor, or Prince Devitt when he wrestled in Japan, whom I fell in love with after hearing his adorable giggle and surprisingly soft voice on a podcast. They're currently working as a tag team, and it's fun watching them go crazy in the ring together. Not only are they talented with great bodies, but don't they look great in suits, too?

Spencer Bledsoe
On the first episode of the Cagayan season of Survivor, I decided that Spencer was "nerdy cute" and claimed him as my own. Over the course of the season, I grew to love him more and more as he fought, clawed and scratched his way to stay in the game every week. Normally underdogs annoy me, but Spencer literally had me jumping up and down every time he won immunity at a crucial moment in the game. Plus, he favorited my tweet once!

Victor Cruz
One of the best things about Fashion Police (RIP Joan) was that it introduced me to a lot of celebrities I would have never been exposed to otherwise. Football player Victor Cruz was one such celebrity and, boy, what a discovery that was. The dude is incredibly built, has a genuine interest in fashion and knows how to dress himself. Oh, and I guess he's good at playing football, too?

Julian Edelman
Another football player? I don't know what's going on either. What I do know is that I saw this gym selfie, and I was a goner.

Tristan Evans
With his gorgeous blonde hair and young age (he's 20), the drummer for The Vamps--a boy band of sorts from the UK desperately trying to make it here in the US--is practically my twink dream come true.

Jack Falahee
Easily the most interesting thing about How to Get Away With Murder that isn't Viola Davis. I came for the prettiness but stayed for his fascinating characterization.

Ronan Farrow
I started watching the news for him. Plus, there's something about a man who graduates Yale Law School at 22 and interviews notable people like Nobel Peace Prize recipient Malala Yousafzai but also tweets about the Sugababes and Pokémon on a regular basis.

Martin Garrix
Yes, I'm aware he's a DJ and that's worthy of an eye roll and a groan on its own. In the end, though, he's a total cutie and that's all that matters.

Calum Hood
Unlike The Vamps, 5 Seconds of Summer actually made an impact in the US this year, even if they haven't quite reached the same level as One Direction yet. I thought Calum was the cutest from the day my friend Guy mentioned seeing 5SOS open for One Direction back in 2013. So all you thirsty bitches who hopped on that train after his nudes leaked this summer can back off.

Nick Jonas
Nick was on my inaugural Imaginary Boyfriends list way back in 2008 when he was an underage hottie. Fast forward to 2014 and he's all grown up. Sweet Jesus has he grown up. Some complained about his shameless photo shoots designed solely to pander to straight women and (particularly) gay men. They were indeed shameless, but it's hard out here for music artists who aren't Taylor Swift or Adele. You've got to do it what it takes to move albums. So bless Nick for taking this route.

Randy Orton
Randy was incredibly good looking ten years ago, and, if anything, he's only gotten hotter in the past decade. His shaved head, tattoos, exquisitely trimmed beard with just the right hint of grey in it, misanthropic demeanor and general fluidity in the ring all do it for me every time I watch him.