Friday, December 6, 2013

Imaginary Boyfriends of 2013

Past Imaginary Boyfriends countdowns: 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008

Dean Ambrose
Yes, he's kind of white trashy looking at times, and he's definitely not the pretty boy I usually go for. But there's something to be said for his swagger in the ring, both on the mat and the mic. This tweet sums it up, really.

Henry Cavill
Did I see Man of Steel? Nope. Will I ever see Man of Steel? Hell to the no. Can I still appreciate his beautiful face and bangin' body? You know it.

CM Punk
This one can be blamed on my random viewing of his WWE-produced documentary on Netflix earlier this year. After that, it was a serious spiral into outright obsession (If you don't believe me, check out my Tumblr and you'll see he's probably the second most tagged person after One Direction). Just like Dean Ambrose, I don't know if I can really explain why I love him so much. All I know is that it confuses my friends as well (Thanks Jakey!)

(Young) Leonardo DiCaprio
I'm still sad that I'll never be as pretty as Leonardo DiCaprio was from 1995-97.

Alden Ehrenreich
Two words: Beautiful Creatures.

Colin Ford
Or, as I tend to refer to him in real life, "My Boyfriend Colin Ford." He turned 17 back in September, so I think it's slightly more acceptable for me to freely discuss my attraction to him. No? Oh well.

Austin Mahone
Only if he's wearing a tank top and doesn't talk.

Dylan O'Brien
He made the list last year with the rest of the Teen Wolf Boys, but 2013 was all about Dylan. I mean, I considered on multiple occasions watching that shitty looking Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson movie just for his five minutes of screentime. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

Suraj Sharma
I know it's hard out here for a non-white actor in Hollywood, but someone must be able to find him a cute romantic comedy where he gets to be his adorable self for 90 minutes. I would watch the shit out of that (as long as it didn't star Vince Vaughn or Owen Wilson, obviously).

Cody Simpson
The dude has an amazing body. Let's just gloss over the fact that he's 16 (going on 17 in about a month!).

Max Thieriot
For awhile, Max was giving my favorite performance on Bates Motel, but then Vera turned the crazy meter up to 4,000 and he fell to second. Combined with his sexy, trashy turn as a webcam "model" (read: prostitute) in Disconnect, Max had quite a year.

Mike Vogel
Mike Vogel receiving a blowjob from Anne Hathaway in Havoc had a profound impact on me when I was a teen. This year, his fine self gave me the vapors in two brand new TV shows: as the man-of-few-words hero in Under the Dome and as the sexy, sex-slave-owning boyfriend of batshit crazy Vera Farmiga in Bates Motel.

1 comment:

Linz McC said...

Did you watch The First Time with Dylan O'Brien. That sealed the deal for me. And yes, he's the only reason I considered seeing the Internship but I decided against it.