Taylor Swift is an American Hero: The 2009 VMAs Be CAH-RAY-ZAY This Year

HO-LY SHIT YOU GUYS. Where do I even begin talking about this year's MTV Video Music Awards? When Beyoncé winning a well-deserved Video of the Year award for her epic 'Single Ladies' clip isn't the highlight of the night, you know some crazy shit went down.

Okay, let's get it out of the way, the moment everyone is sure to be talking about for weeks to come: that Kanye/Taylor Swift moment was so fucking bizarre I can't even begin to comprehend it. Let me set the scene for you. I, believing Beyoncé was going to win everything under the sun, was rooting for Taylor to win from the get-go. Her video wasn't as immediately eye-catching or iconic as B's, but it has an indescribable charm (probably stemming from the fact that I can relate to Good Taylor in the video) that I fell in love with immediately. So when she actually won the damn award, I was so happy and surprised I didn't know what to think. She gave her acceptance speech and everything was going well...until Kanye came on stage. By this point, one of my friends whom I was watching the show with had left the room for a moment. When she came back during the commercial break, she saw two people alternately laughing and horrified at what had just happened. In case you missed it, here's the low down: Kanye comes on stage, rips the mic out of poor Taylor's hands, half-heartedly apologizes for stealing her thunder and then says something about how "Beyoncé had the best video of this or any year" before meeting a LOUD chorus of boos from the audience. The camera cuts to B and she's like, "Bitch please, do not get me involved in this." Taylor just stands back, looking like she's ready to breakdown in tears at any minute while MTV scrambles to cut to the next clip for the show. Now, listen, I like Kanye's music and find his selfishness and sore loser mentality to be entertaining in the same way I enjoy all of my crazy divas like Mariah, Britney and Whitney, but that was an INCREDIBLY uncalled for and douchey thing to do. Of all the nominees, it's poor Taylor Swift that had the least chance to actually defend her self against Kanye's raging ego during that moment (you know Lady GaGa would have been like, "Up yours, fucker" if he did it to her). I kept waiting for her to say "Fuck you, Kanye" during her performance later on in the show, but she remained a perfect lady and class act throughout. You know, however, that she's going to hit all the shows and talk smack about him like she did on her Joe Jonas tour earlier this year. I am officially touting Taylor as an American Hero along with Martha Stewart and Jesus for her valor in a time of immediate (and strange) crisis.

If the whole Kanye/Taylor debacle hadn't gone down, then I'm sure the story of the night would have been Lady GaGa. For an artist who's built her persona based on unapologetic pop songs and outrageous, over-the-top costumes, she really got outrageous with her outfits tonight. When your most normal outfit of the night is this, you know you're dealing with someone who is trying to make a statement through fashion. Some of the best moments of the night were when the cameras cut to Beyoncé in the front and seeing GaGa just over her shoulder in her ridiculous outifts like it was a Tuesday morning at home.



When I glimpsed this last outfit over B's shoulder, I literally almost fell off the couch laughing at how ridiculous it is. YOU CAN'T SEE HER FACE! Some people think she's trying too hard, but I find it refreshing that we have someone who is so willing to go where few major pop stars are these days. And, speaking of "willing to go there," have you seen her performance of 'Paparazzi' last night? Holy fuckballs, I've watched it twice now and I don't even know where to begin with it. All I have in my head is the image of GaGa playing the piano with her left foot on the keyboard, the random person in the wheelchair and, of course, the insane finale complete with crazy intense eyes and blood. Yes, blood, like she's in a fucking Saw movie or something. I haven't been this worked up over a live performance since Britney's comeback performance in 2007. You simply must see this for yourself to truly get the full gist of it.



Beyoncé, of course, walked off with the Video of the Year award, but her biggest moment of the night (I mean, besides her crazy clevage during her fantastic rendition of 'Single Ladies') was when she graciously let Taylor Swift back on stage to finish her speech. You know, I make fun of Beyoncé for being a crazy, self-absorbed diva, but it is in moments like these where she really shows what kind of beautiful person she is.


Of course, though, B showed Taylor who the H.B.I.C. (head bitch in charge) is even while in the background. Taylor was thanking her brother's high school for letting them shoot there and B gave this look that was like, "You shot your video in a high school? Bitch please, that's so beneath me." Don't give me that look. You know it happened.

I also have to give props to Pink for performing 100 feet in the air on a trapeze and (I think) actually singing live. You know what? She sounded better upside down, flying through the air than 90 percent of all female singers these days just standing. Incredible. I'm so glad that MTV got the hint that to have interesting performances, you actually need performers either providing entertainment, changing up the song or being Lady GaGa. I'm so sick of seeing a rapper come out on stage with 50 member of his entourage and just stand around doing their dumb song. I was so proud of them...that is, until Jay-Z came out. First of all, when did this whole "Mayor of New York" thing happen? Did the people of New York elect him some time ago and no one said anything? Secondly, standing around rapping while Alicia Keys does something on the piano is not a performance. It's dull, especially after the ladies earlier in the show. And where the hell was Rihanna? She definitely could have added some spice to that lackluster clip.

After years of mediocre shows, I have a feeling that this year's VMAs will go down in history as one of the greats. It may not be for entirely good reasons, but the whole thing was actually entertaining, something which the past two years shows were sorely missing.