Thursday, November 10, 2011

Yeah, and The Kardashians Are the Assholes

I've never had a problem with the Kardashians. They have been called famewhores for years now, which they most certainly are. But I don't think the Kardashians would ever deny that fact, and that is precisely why I admire them. People hate them because they are famous for doing nothing; I admire them because they have conned millions of Americans into caring about them and their ridiculous lives to the tune of millions of dollars a year. I'm sorry, but I'd rather have Kris Jenner running this country than any idiotic GOP candidate currently gunning for the presidency. You know she'd turn this country around and make us profitable within a year.

So, no, I don't have a problem with the Kardashians and their ridiculousness. Let 'em be. They're not hurting anyone. The type of famewhores I do have a problem with, though, are the ones who aren't self-aware enough to realize they are famewhores. There are plenty of people in the Land of Reality TV who fall into this category, but none are more oblivious (or relevant) as the Duggars, the stars of TLC's reality show 19 Kids & Counting. Well, now we can make that 20 Kids & Counting as the family announced on Tuesday that mom Michelle is pregnant with her twentieth child.

I've always thought the Duggars were horrible people, even in the days when they "only" had 16 and 17 children. I come from a two-child family, so I must admit that the dynamics of large families are largely foreign to me, but I don't believe it's right, especially in 2011, for a family to have that many children. I don't care how loudly these parents protest that they love all their children equally and spend equal amounts of time with them: when you have 20 kids, there is absolutely no way in hell you can be a good parent to that many children at the same time. There will always be something lacking, no matter how hard you try to make things right. I would even qualify it as a form of child abuse. Those kids are going to be so fucked up and starved for attention it's not even funny. And can you blame them? Competing with twenty other kids for just a fraction of attention from your parents will most certainly take its toll on you. This sort of "farm breeding" the Duggars employ is both sickening and damaging to these children.

Mostly, however, I think the Duggars are selfish bastards. Their last child was born prematurely, spent months in the hospital and for awhile looked like it wasn't going to survive. To most people, this would be a wake-up call that maybe it's time to count your blessings and stop having so many goddamn babies. But, oh no! Heaven forbid we should mess up "God's plan" and go on birth control. We need to pop out another child because we have nothing else going for us except for our extremely fertile sperm and eggs. These assholes can go on and on about "God's plan" and how they are not in it for the money and fame, but let's be honest for one second here. They have grown accustomed to the infamy and the money TLC throws at them to chronicle their massive brood's every move. How in the hell else can they afford to take care of 20 children?! They admit that they are fundamental Christians and that's fine. Far be it from me to tell you how to raise your bratty children. But when you hide behind these "values" as an excuse to pop out more children for the cameras, that's where I draw the line. The Duggars are total hypocrites and frauds, and it's time to call these famewhores out on what they really are.

The Kardashians are not exactly beacons of society, but they are not harming anything or anyone--besides, possibly, the moral fabric of our society--in their exploits. Yeah, yeah, Kim's 72-day marriage is a slap in the face to gay marriage. But you can't exactly blame all of that on Kim, can you? The Duggars, on the other hand, are harming real people in the present, yet we pretend like they are this adorable family who are just good ole Christians making a simple TV show. Get your heads out of your asses, people, and wake up. The Duggars are awful people and a far more immediate threat than any of the Kardashian clan.

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