Friday, June 12, 2009

People Who Can Suck It: Megan Fox


Who Needs to Suck It: Megan Fox, a stick with huge boobs, the star of Transformers and inexplicable "hot" girl to retarded straight guys who have obviously never met a really woman in their life.

Why She Needs to Suck It: I can live with the fact that she's simply a shameless, masturbatory fantasy thrown in for the straight guys because, let's face it, there are a ton of untalented hot guys running around Hollywood for our benefit. No, what I can't really, really can't stand about her is that she thinks that she's this clever celebrity who is now popular enough to start talking about whatever the fuck she wants. Often the stuff that comes out is just stupid word vomit. Take her take on High School Musical for example:

Let me tell you what it's really about. High School Musical is about this group of boys who are all being molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron's dad. It's about them struggling to cope with this molestation. And they have these little girlfriends, who are their beards. Oh, and somehow there's music involved. You have to get stoned and watch it.

Oh wow. Aren't you so clever for picking on an enormous film franchise aimed at kids and making a joke about how it's all about molestation and homosexuality! My, the wit in that statement is just astounding. I don't know if anyone else can ever be allowed to give a witty interview because Megan Fox has just topped us all for all time. The whole time she gives interviews like this, you can almost see her calculating just how outrageous to be so people will pay attention to her and think, "Wow, she is an interesting girl." Please, stop trying to be Angelina (the world can barely tolerate one of her as it is) and go back to making your movies about enormous robots beating the shit out of each other and leave us alone.

11 comments:

amberbridgetB said...

idk she does kindia seem like just another shallow hollywood rich girl but i havent heard much about her so

RJ said...

I have never seen her in anything, but I kind of love her for the simple fact that she is hot, knows it, and could not give a shit. I want to be Megan Fox.

Cal said...

I like that she's not 'girl next door' but that statement is rather pointless.

Megan > Jessica Alba anyday though.

mB said...

Ugh. Die Ms Fox, die already.

J.D. said...

She's not hot tho.

Nick Plowman said...

I agree! She is NOT even hot, like at all. And she's clearly on drugs. And stupid! She can most def. suck it

Vance said...

Oh YAY!!! Fellow Megan haters!!!

I never understood the appeal. She's not attractive or hot and other than Transformers, has she done anything worthwhile?

Anonymous said...

Even if I have to agree about HSM comment, I think Megan Fox is an overrated trashy girl. I know that beauty is subjective (For me she's not that hot) but the beauty isn't forever...

Anonymous said...

Megan Fox is quite possibibly the worst actor active today. Plus i get how she is kinda hot in a bland boring kind of way but if i wanted to oggle hot woman i would go to the fucking beach.

Anonymous said...

Megan Fox = Trash. When she starts getting older, and all the surgery catches up to her - I wonder what she will have in life? I predict she will end up in rehab.

Clark said...

This girl is one of the cutest actress that I have ever seen and in the world could be with anyone, sometimes is the guy that we don't expect, the typical that we think he is an ass hole, but like the Transformers Movie says there is more than meets the eye.

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