Gay Hoover and a Bad Teacher

Last year, I was looking forward to typical "Dame James films" such as films where women go insane (Black Swan, The Roommate), hot guys take off their shirts (Love and Other Drugs, The Eagle, The Fighter) and really gay stuff (Burlesque, Charlie St. Cloud). This year, however, is shaping up to be an unusual one, anticipation-wise. My most highly anticipated films of the year are a biopic from Clint Eastwood and a Cameron Diaz comedy. Feel free to do the Miley "Whuuuuuuut" right now; I'm just as confused myself. But let's discuss these films further.


J. Edgar is Clint Eastwood's biopic of J. Edgar Hoover, the famed head of the FBI for many, many years. I initially didn't care about it at all, especially once it was announced that Hoover's rumored homosexuality would be addressed and Leonardo DiCaprio and Joaquin Phoenix would be the ones making out. Fine actors, yes, but I really don't need to see those two mackin' on each other.

But then Joaquin dropped out and Armie Hammer was hired as his replacement. I liked him in The Social Network, but I'm slowly falling head over heels for him since his casting in J. Edgar. First of all, he's gorgeous. But, even more importantly, the man gives good interview. His greatest contribution, however, was telling Leonardo DiCaprio to "pucker up" for their love scenes in the movie. How incredible is that? I love that he's comfortable enough with his sexuality to be this silly about kissing a bonafide A-lister like Leonardo DiCaprio. When you have a film as serious-minded as I'm sure J. Edgar is, and especially when you have an ultra-serious director/star pair like Leo & Clint, it's important to have someone like Armie Hammer who can joke about the project without diminishing its value.

Here is Armie in formal wear. Doesn't he look good? (The only acceptable answer is yes, by the way).


A couple weeks ago, the first behind the scenes footage was released and let's see if you can spot another reason why I would be excited for this project:

Yes, your eyes don't deceive you: that is Dame Judi MOTHERFUCKING Dench, the fiercest bitch around. She is apparently playing Leo's mom but I had no idea until I saw this clip. Let me tell you, I'm 99.5% sure I did the gay inhale at that point. I love her so much.

Secondly, isn't Armie a complete goofball? I love the random faces he makes for no apparent reason.



Kinda reminds me of this shot of Armie photobombing Chris Colfer at the SAG Awards (via).

What a dork. A hot, delicious dork.

The trailer for the new Cameron Diaz comedy, Bad Teacher, debuted only yesterday, but I was completely on board for this film from the first 20 seconds. I genuinely think Cameron Diaz is one of the most underrated actresses of our time. When she finds a good role she believes in, she absolutely nails it. Watch In Her Shoes, Being John Malkovich or There's Something About Mary again and you'll see that she has a range most actresses only dream of. True, she does choose shit movies over and over again, but I love seeing those rare moments when she truly shines. Bad Teacher is Cameron's return to raunchy, balls out comedy and I'm already dying of anticipation. I could tell that her character is one that would become endearing to me the moment she says "Fuck my ass" when she realizes that school is starting back up the next day. You know who also says "Fuck my ass" when they're extremely frustrated? Me. I just hope that the rest of the movie is able to keep up with Cameron. By the looks of the cast, give or take Justin Timberlake, it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Watching The Box With My Parents

As you may have ascertained from my last post, my parents are characters. They realize this and accept it; at one point, my mother literally asked me why I haven't written a movie about how weird they are and made a bunch of money off of it. Yeah, and you wonder why I am the way that I am. Anyways, my parents watch a lot of movies (only because my mom, an eternal cheapskate, gets free rentals from her work) and they always have strong opinions about them: "Stupid! Overrated! What the hell? I don't get it! Artsy fartsy crap!" If you think I'm a tough grader, they are incredibly hard to please. And when they do like a movie, it's always something incredibly embarrassing like Daddy Day Care. Needless to say, when I lived at home, we always disagreed on the movies we watched together, which always ended up with colorful discussions like the ones I mentioned with Children of Men and Kill Bill Volume 1.

When I went home last week, my mother mentioned that she had rented The Box and, sensing a strong opinion from them, I was immediately filled with glee. Having already seen it back in October, I knew my parents would absolutely HATE it with a passion (maybe not as much as they hate The Piano--a film they still talk about nearly 20 years later--but close) so I was excited for their imminent end-of-movie rant. As the film progressed, they sat back in their chairs, intrigued by the mystery and trying to guess the giant "twist" they knew was coming. I wish I had written the guesses down, but the craziest one I remember came courtesy of my mother: "They must be aliens!" I just sat there, laughing to myself, while my mother kept asking, "Are we even on the right track?" No, mother, not even close. So when the big "reveal" came around, just as I thought, they were pissed. A two minute tirade filled with quips like "So stupid," "Crap," and "I just wasted two hours of my life on this?!" followed but the most interesting comment/question came from my dad: "Why did you want to see this movie again?!" I agree that the ending doesn't work and, for better or worse, the film is a complete mess. But there's no denying that The Box is a fascinating failure. It's not even close to a good movie, and it's not for everyone, but, honestly, I could watch it again while never seeing The Hurt Locker ever again. The Box C+, My Parents' Reaction A++++

Another reason to want to see The Box again?

James Marsden soaking wet.