Imaginary Boyfriends of 2011

It's that time of the year again! Let's honor the hottest, most desirable and all-around attractive men, aka my Imaginary Boyfriends, from the past twelve months.

(And in case you are curious about my previous picks, check out 2008, 2009 and 2010).

Johan Akan

As soon as I saw a picture of Johan, my first reaction was, "Who is this guy?" He's one of those models who looks good clothed, naked, doing a serious shoot, an artsy shoot, a fun, personality-driven one or even one with the legendary Catherine Deneuve. In other words, Johan is the total package and one of the best new models around.

Douglas Booth

Some guys have it all. And a select few, like Douglas, manage to have it all at the ripe old age of 19. He's got the looks of a model, an impeccable fashion sense (or at least smart stylists) and a career on the rise, with both a Miley Cyrus comedy and the umpteenth adaptation of Romeo & Juliet in the works. I would hate him if he wasn't so damn attractive.

Dominic Cooper

I will admit that it took me way too long to warm up to Dom (I still blame that boner crusher Mamma Mia!). Thankfully, 2011 was the year I came to my senses and truly fell for the The Coop. It certainly helped that 2011 was also the year of The Devil's Double, wherein Dom stripped down in to his Speedo and then some. Repeatedly. Needless to say, it was a very good year for Dom's fans.

Leebo Freeman

A bit "out there" for my usual tastes in men, I'll admit, but there's something about that platinum blond hair, those piercings, the way he rocks sunglasses, his versatility in front of the camera and, of course, his body, that works for me.

Max George

One of my favorite pastimes these past six months has been getting drunk and then tweeting very inappropriate messages to Wanted frontman Max George. He hasn't responded back yet, which is probably for the best. But you can hardly blame me when he looks as good as he does, especially on his recent Attitude magazine cover; I'm pretty sure I tweeted him that if I was 14 years old, I totally would have masturbated to his photo shoot.

Ryan Gosling

The Occupy People Magazine movement, started after People picked Bradley Cooper over Ryan Gosling as this year's Sexiest Man Alive, had to be one of the funniest protests in ages. How those boneheads ended up going with Cooper, who isn't bad looking by any means but is really only mega famous because of The Hangover, over Gosling is beyond me. This past year will always be remembered as the one where Ryan Gosling went from respected to indie actor to full-fledged movie star, and as the one where the last stragglers finally fell under his charm. If that doesn't qualify you as the Sexiest Man Alive, I don't know what will.

Armie Hammer

I never rank my Imaginary Boyfriends because I feel that it's enough of an honor just to be mentioned (yes, I am that conceited) and it's a hard enough task narrowing the list down to this many people without having to rank them. With that said, I think we can all agree that My Man Armie would probably be my number one for 2011. I fell in love with his goofiness while making the press rounds for The Social Network, I died of happiness when I heard he was making out with a dude on film (even though said film was an Eastwood film and said dude was DiCaprio), I posed with his cover of Details magazine, I saw freaking J. Edgar at midnight on its opening day. If that doesn't qualify as obsessive behavior, I don't know what does. And you know what? I wouldn't take back a single thing.

Josh Hutcherson

Vanessa Hudgens tried to sink her nasty claws into Our Josh, but thankfully she moved on to someone no one really cares about. The year started off very well for Josh, as he looked perfectly adorable in his tux at the Oscars. Perhaps even more important, though, was his casting in The Hunger Games, which should finally launch him as one of the best young actors in Hollywood. I'm definitely Team whatever character Josh plays.

Max Irons

One of the most unbelievable sights in the movies this year was in Red Riding Hood where we are supposed to believe that the gorgeous Max Irons was somehow an undesirable suitor for Amanda Seyfried. On what planet is he not even competition for the equally attractive Shiloh Fernandez? Nonsense!

Steve Jones

The sexiest host on TV (sorry, Seacrest) made one of the most unbearable shows of the year almost watchable whenever he came on-screen, yelling at Nicole "Cunt" Scherzinger to make a goddamn decision already. I will never watch another episode of this God forsaken show ever again, but I still dream about Steve holding me backstage while my friend goes out and auditions for the judges and we nervous wait their decision.

Harry Judd

With their music career in limbo, what else was there for the McFly boys to do but get naked and appear on reality shows? Thankfully, none of the boys delivered on each of these fronts as well as Harry did. The boy has no shame, but with a body and a face like that, can you blame him? As if seeing GIFs of his performances on Strictly Come Dancing weren't hot enough, along came that Attitude cover. We've already seen Harry pretty much naked but that cover feels dirtier than anything we've seen him do before. A tip of the hat to you, Harry.

Zayn Malik

When One Direction was on X-Factor, I was a Liam girl, through and through. But then he came out with that horrible hairstyle, and I moved on to greener pastures. I didn't realize just how green those pastures were with Zayn Malik until I was a complete fangirl referring to myself as Mrs. Malik. I think Zayn is poised as the bad boy of the group (He has earrings. And he's gives good seriousface.), but whenever he smiles, his eyes light up the entire room, inspiring me to join thousands of other teenage girls writing fanfiction about how he spots me across the arena at his concert and immediately falls in love with me. Sigh. A girl can dream, right?

Chris O'Dowd

Chris can't really compete with the others on this list in the looks department, but he makes up for any (slight) deficiencies in looks with his personality and sense of humor. In Bridesmaids, he was the most realistic Prince Charming in a romantic comedy in years. As an added bonus, he doesn't look too shabby in a police uniform.

Anthony Perkins

I've always found Tony attractive--hello, Psycho--but 2011 was when my lust for him went into overdrive. I saw The Trial late in 2010 and, consequently, went on full-on binge of Perkins movies. With Tall Story and Five Miles to Midnight, most of them stunk to high heaven. But Tony was never less than super attractive, so at least I had his lean, lanky frame to stare at for the runtime.

Eric Saade

In a land full of gorgeous, sexy men, Saade stands out as one of Sweden's sexiest. He has the moves like Timberlake and the looks of a Greek god. You simply can't say no to someone this attractive.

Marlon Teixeira

Of all the male models in the world willing to get naked and show off (nearly) all the goods, do any do it as willingly and with such glee as Marlon Teixeira? I've seen more of his body than I have of some people I've been intimate with. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, as his body is absolutely bangin'. God bless those Brazilians, every one of them.

Aaron Tveit

I have been in love with Aaron Tveit ever since he guest starred on Gossip Girl as Nate's ultra preppy, Senate-seeking cousin, yet somehow I have never once included him on one of these Imaginary Boyfriends lists. For shame, Dame! In all honesty, it may have been the best to wait for 2011, as Tveit had what was perhaps his most high profile year ever. First, he starred in the musical version of Catch Me If You Can on Broadway, which produced a great soundtrack and the chance to see him perform at the Tony's (in a pilot's uniform!). Then, we saw him as a guest star on Law & Order: SVU as, much to my happiness, a former basketball star turned drug addict who was sexually abused by his childhood coach. He sings, he dances, he plays emotionally damaged boys; how can you not love this guy?

Rants on The History Boys

It's movies like Nicholas Hytner's The History Boys that make me grateful I live in one of the laziest countries in the world in the world, education-wise. I don't know what I would have done if I actually had to work hard and study in high school like these boys did, preparing for the rigorous exams to get in prestigious British schools Oxford and Cambridge. You want to know how I got into my college? I filled out a one page, double sided application and wrote a one page, double spaced essay that I completely BS'ed about why I wanted to go to the school.

The real central conflict of The History Boys isn't whether or not these exams are overkill but what exactly is the proper education the students should be receiving and whether or not these exams are the true mark of their intelligence. Should it be the cut and dry, rote memorization of historical dates, people and places taught by Mrs. Lintott (Frances de la Tour)? How about the more "general studies" approach done by the beloved Hector (Richard Griffiths) which involves memorizing poetry and reading literature while, in the lighter moments, singing "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered," performing the climax to Brief Encounter or conducting a skit set in a brothel en français. Or, should it be the odd synthesis of the two introduced by the school's newest teacher, Irwin (Stephen Campbell Moore), that teaches the students to learn about a wide variety of topics but only really get the gist of them, then combine that with the history lessons while never forgetting to approach any question that comes their way from an alternate viewpoint so that they will stand out from the pack? I think it's pretty clear what writer Alan Bennett thinks the right answer is, but, as with most films, there is more to be gained in the journey than in the inevitable conclusion.

The History Boys was a major hit on both the London stage and Broadway and it's readily apparent that this film has its roots in the theatre. In fact, it's often one of the film's biggest problems. A good portion of the scenes (most of the classroom ones, for instance) feel like they just set up a camera on stage and let the actors go for the millionth time (everyone in the film was from the original stage cast). The History Boys and director Hytner fall victim to the same problems Ron Howard ran across with Frost/Nixon. They have a highly regarded play and excellent actors who have done their business 100 times before, so they think they don't have to do anything to inject any life into it. Well, no matter what Hollywood and the Academy tells them, they're completely wrong. The director's job is to have a point of view and to get that across in the most interesting way possible, not sit back and yell "Cut!"

It seems to me that if they had gotten someone else besides Hytner (who directed the original stage version) and Bennett to work on this film, there might have been something new to glean from in those various aspects. Another edit of the script, for instance, would have been nice since both the discussion of the Holocaust and Lintott's rant about the lack of female voices over the course of history didn't work. They're both nicely written and performed well by the actors, but they served little to no purpose to the overall story other than as random excursion in academia to prove how "smart" Bennett is.


The theatricality of the piece also affects a couple of the performances (Clive Merrison's over-affected Headmaster, for one), but the largest (and I swear I didn't mean for that to be a pun) culprit is Richard Griffiths's larger-than-life portrayal of the beloved Hector. While good for the most part, he's so loud and overbearing and perfectly annunciates every single word that comes out of his mouth, it becomes immediately clear that he's still playing to the back row. This is film, Mr. Griffiths, there's no need for that phoney, excessively stylized demeanor. It makes you wonder if the powers that be were just too afraid to tell him to tone it down for the camera since he's "obviously" brilliant because he won all of those theatre awards for this performance.

If it sounds like I'm a complete hater, I really don't mean to be because there are plenty of things to celebrate in this film adaptation. Aside from Griffith's irritating performance complete with a side of ham, the acting from the rest of the cast is top-notch. While it can't be denied that some of these History Boys have been reduced to mere background characters to fill up the stage (er, set), the ones that are given any time to actually do anything achieve small wonders. Samuel Barnett, a dead ringer for Lucas Grabeel, has some wonderful moments in a traditional teenage homosexual role we've seen in countless films before (and probably since). After a dud performance that was completely shameless in Mamma Mia!, Dominic Cooper managed to impress me as Dakin, the ringleader of sorts of the group and possibly the only interesting character to emerge from the Boys.

But, if I was forced to pick a best in show, that would have to be Stephen Campbell Moore as the newcomer teacher Irwin. As he did so ingeniously in the criminally underrated Bright Young Things, Moore is able to effectively stand back and let others take their respective turns in the spotlight while somehow managing to remain engaging and thoughtful in the process. He's a completely unselfish actor and that's so rare to find- not just today but in any time period. There's this scene between him and Cooper towards the end of the film that's so excellently played between the two of them, I was hooked on every little moment. For various reasons, Cooper's character wants to have sexual intercourse with Irwin, who, remembering the touchy-feely antics of Hector's that got him in trouble, tries his damndest to rebuff the offer. In the hands of different actors it probably would have fallen apart, the scene plays out like a taut game of cat-and-mouse which sees Dakin as the headstrong predator and Irwin as the recoiled prey, never ceasing back away and nearly double over in his internal hatred of himself.

The above scene is one of the many the critics of the film cite when they mention the almost overpowering homosexuality in the play, to the point that it becomes the main focus of the film and doesn't cohere with the rest of it. I think the above scene works because Dakin has slowly been internalizing everything Irwin has been spewing in his lectures, even beginning to write like him as one of the History Boys points out to him, and the only way he can thank him for helping him these past months is to offer his body. You have to remember that he's still only 17 or 18 and still apt to make stupid decisions regarding sex (hell, there are people decades older who still make dumb choices). My big problem with the homosexuality in the film is in the ridiculously stupid finale where the Boys sit in the auditorium, reciting the occupations they will have in the future and we learn that Barnett's character (the only one who truly took Hector's lessons to heart, as we are told by Lintott) has become a teacher. He goes on to say this truly bizarre line that go something along the lines of, "I am attracted to some of the boys and it is hard to resist sometimes, but I never give in." The first time I heard, I didn't think much of it, but the more I sat and thought about what he was actually saying, I couldn't believe the stupidity radiating from that line. Am I actually supposed to applaud this guy for not touching his students like Hector did? Here, let me give you a big fat fucking medal for your valor. Give me a break. But this is what The History Boys does frequently throughout: on first glance, everything seems to flow well and an interesting argument unfolds in front of you, but on subsequent viewings and with time to actually think about it, much of it could be easily improved on. The central conflict about modern education and most of the acting is still extremely well-done, but that can only take you so far I'm afraid. C+