Imaginary Boyfriends of 2011

It's that time of the year again! Let's honor the hottest, most desirable and all-around attractive men, aka my Imaginary Boyfriends, from the past twelve months.

(And in case you are curious about my previous picks, check out 2008, 2009 and 2010).

Johan Akan

As soon as I saw a picture of Johan, my first reaction was, "Who is this guy?" He's one of those models who looks good clothed, naked, doing a serious shoot, an artsy shoot, a fun, personality-driven one or even one with the legendary Catherine Deneuve. In other words, Johan is the total package and one of the best new models around.

Douglas Booth

Some guys have it all. And a select few, like Douglas, manage to have it all at the ripe old age of 19. He's got the looks of a model, an impeccable fashion sense (or at least smart stylists) and a career on the rise, with both a Miley Cyrus comedy and the umpteenth adaptation of Romeo & Juliet in the works. I would hate him if he wasn't so damn attractive.

Dominic Cooper

I will admit that it took me way too long to warm up to Dom (I still blame that boner crusher Mamma Mia!). Thankfully, 2011 was the year I came to my senses and truly fell for the The Coop. It certainly helped that 2011 was also the year of The Devil's Double, wherein Dom stripped down in to his Speedo and then some. Repeatedly. Needless to say, it was a very good year for Dom's fans.

Leebo Freeman

A bit "out there" for my usual tastes in men, I'll admit, but there's something about that platinum blond hair, those piercings, the way he rocks sunglasses, his versatility in front of the camera and, of course, his body, that works for me.

Max George

One of my favorite pastimes these past six months has been getting drunk and then tweeting very inappropriate messages to Wanted frontman Max George. He hasn't responded back yet, which is probably for the best. But you can hardly blame me when he looks as good as he does, especially on his recent Attitude magazine cover; I'm pretty sure I tweeted him that if I was 14 years old, I totally would have masturbated to his photo shoot.

Ryan Gosling

The Occupy People Magazine movement, started after People picked Bradley Cooper over Ryan Gosling as this year's Sexiest Man Alive, had to be one of the funniest protests in ages. How those boneheads ended up going with Cooper, who isn't bad looking by any means but is really only mega famous because of The Hangover, over Gosling is beyond me. This past year will always be remembered as the one where Ryan Gosling went from respected to indie actor to full-fledged movie star, and as the one where the last stragglers finally fell under his charm. If that doesn't qualify you as the Sexiest Man Alive, I don't know what will.

Armie Hammer

I never rank my Imaginary Boyfriends because I feel that it's enough of an honor just to be mentioned (yes, I am that conceited) and it's a hard enough task narrowing the list down to this many people without having to rank them. With that said, I think we can all agree that My Man Armie would probably be my number one for 2011. I fell in love with his goofiness while making the press rounds for The Social Network, I died of happiness when I heard he was making out with a dude on film (even though said film was an Eastwood film and said dude was DiCaprio), I posed with his cover of Details magazine, I saw freaking J. Edgar at midnight on its opening day. If that doesn't qualify as obsessive behavior, I don't know what does. And you know what? I wouldn't take back a single thing.

Josh Hutcherson

Vanessa Hudgens tried to sink her nasty claws into Our Josh, but thankfully she moved on to someone no one really cares about. The year started off very well for Josh, as he looked perfectly adorable in his tux at the Oscars. Perhaps even more important, though, was his casting in The Hunger Games, which should finally launch him as one of the best young actors in Hollywood. I'm definitely Team whatever character Josh plays.

Max Irons

One of the most unbelievable sights in the movies this year was in Red Riding Hood where we are supposed to believe that the gorgeous Max Irons was somehow an undesirable suitor for Amanda Seyfried. On what planet is he not even competition for the equally attractive Shiloh Fernandez? Nonsense!

Steve Jones

The sexiest host on TV (sorry, Seacrest) made one of the most unbearable shows of the year almost watchable whenever he came on-screen, yelling at Nicole "Cunt" Scherzinger to make a goddamn decision already. I will never watch another episode of this God forsaken show ever again, but I still dream about Steve holding me backstage while my friend goes out and auditions for the judges and we nervous wait their decision.

Harry Judd

With their music career in limbo, what else was there for the McFly boys to do but get naked and appear on reality shows? Thankfully, none of the boys delivered on each of these fronts as well as Harry did. The boy has no shame, but with a body and a face like that, can you blame him? As if seeing GIFs of his performances on Strictly Come Dancing weren't hot enough, along came that Attitude cover. We've already seen Harry pretty much naked but that cover feels dirtier than anything we've seen him do before. A tip of the hat to you, Harry.

Zayn Malik

When One Direction was on X-Factor, I was a Liam girl, through and through. But then he came out with that horrible hairstyle, and I moved on to greener pastures. I didn't realize just how green those pastures were with Zayn Malik until I was a complete fangirl referring to myself as Mrs. Malik. I think Zayn is poised as the bad boy of the group (He has earrings. And he's gives good seriousface.), but whenever he smiles, his eyes light up the entire room, inspiring me to join thousands of other teenage girls writing fanfiction about how he spots me across the arena at his concert and immediately falls in love with me. Sigh. A girl can dream, right?

Chris O'Dowd

Chris can't really compete with the others on this list in the looks department, but he makes up for any (slight) deficiencies in looks with his personality and sense of humor. In Bridesmaids, he was the most realistic Prince Charming in a romantic comedy in years. As an added bonus, he doesn't look too shabby in a police uniform.

Anthony Perkins

I've always found Tony attractive--hello, Psycho--but 2011 was when my lust for him went into overdrive. I saw The Trial late in 2010 and, consequently, went on full-on binge of Perkins movies. With Tall Story and Five Miles to Midnight, most of them stunk to high heaven. But Tony was never less than super attractive, so at least I had his lean, lanky frame to stare at for the runtime.

Eric Saade

In a land full of gorgeous, sexy men, Saade stands out as one of Sweden's sexiest. He has the moves like Timberlake and the looks of a Greek god. You simply can't say no to someone this attractive.

Marlon Teixeira

Of all the male models in the world willing to get naked and show off (nearly) all the goods, do any do it as willingly and with such glee as Marlon Teixeira? I've seen more of his body than I have of some people I've been intimate with. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, as his body is absolutely bangin'. God bless those Brazilians, every one of them.

Aaron Tveit

I have been in love with Aaron Tveit ever since he guest starred on Gossip Girl as Nate's ultra preppy, Senate-seeking cousin, yet somehow I have never once included him on one of these Imaginary Boyfriends lists. For shame, Dame! In all honesty, it may have been the best to wait for 2011, as Tveit had what was perhaps his most high profile year ever. First, he starred in the musical version of Catch Me If You Can on Broadway, which produced a great soundtrack and the chance to see him perform at the Tony's (in a pilot's uniform!). Then, we saw him as a guest star on Law & Order: SVU as, much to my happiness, a former basketball star turned drug addict who was sexually abused by his childhood coach. He sings, he dances, he plays emotionally damaged boys; how can you not love this guy?

100 Hot Men and a Dame: #87 Tyson Beckford

 

 

87. Tyson Beckford

Occupation: Model

Nationality: American

Age: 41

Best Known For: Being one of the best known male supermodels in the world and, for a select group of people, hosting the short lived Bravo series Make Me a Supermodel.

Joining me for this entry is my favorite--and hopefully yours as well--green-haired, illegal immigrant from Mexico, Pablo (follow him on Twitter here). He really came through for me, so much love to him. Have fun reading this adorably schizo entry!

Dame James: When did you first encounter Tyson and, if it wasn't love at first sight, when did you fall in love with him?

Pablo: I probably saw him first in a fashion editorial in some magazine, but the first time I really payed attention to him was in the flaw free video of "Toxic", and, yes, he was smoking for being a chocolate man. I could just imagine myself at the back of his bike, rubbing his arms, me rocking, of course, a red wig and leather pants.

DJ: Maybe it's because I only saw the "Toxic" video a couple times when the song was current, but it wasn't until I saw the video again that I realized he was in it. Usually, Britney's typical guy has long, greasy hair and looks like your typical country bumpkin (see also: both ex-Mr. Britneys). It's a nice change of pace to see him in her video, especially on a motorcycle. I would not mind for a moment trading places with Britney.

I know I first must have seen him in some random fashion editorial as well, but I would be unable to pinpoint it specifically. The first time I ever remember being attracted to him, though, was on this America's Next Top Model rip-off called Make Me a Supermodel. He was the Tyra Banks to 14 or so aspiring male and female model. I know the show was about the models--and some of those men were SMOKIN'--but, dayum, Tyson was always the hottest. His arms must be his trademark because they always look great busting out of the tight shirts he wears. Did you ever see the show or were you too busy trying to sneak into the country to watch TV?

 

P: I did watch Make Me a Supermodel, both seasons, and he was smoking there as well. No, I wasn't too busy trying to sneak into the country--I was already in. Obviously we don't get those kinda shows in Mexico. I like his arms, yes, and his pecs, and his abs. He has one of those bodies that you just wanna lick expecting for him to slowly melt in your mouth and have this delicious, savory chocolate taste.

DJ: Silly me for thinking Mexico would watch the American version of Make Me a Supermodel with all of those gringos. They'd have their own version and they would probably compete to star on a telenovella. He does have a very lickable body, doesn't he? Oddly enough, that would be my first instinct as well. Just a question, though: You do realize that just because he's black it doesn't mean he tastes like chocolate, right?

P: I know he is not gonna taste like chocolate, but I can dream. I know he will taste like caramel.

DJ: So, imagine Tyson and Tyra are going head to head on the runway. What do you think THAT would look like?

P: If Tyson and Tyra would go head to head in the runway...um. I've read that they are really good friends, and judging from last night's America's Next Top Model, I would say they are cause Tyra sucked on his thumb. That was disturbing. Although Tyson is a god, I would pick Tyra. As crazy as she is, she has a gorgeous face (minus the flat screen forehead) and I'm a sucker for women in fashion. But that runway would look like a chocolate fountain, fulled of muscles, boobs and Tyra's ego.

DJ: Tyra sucked on his thumb?! God, I love that crazy bitch. I'm also wildly envious of her. And I'd have to agree that Tyra would win. She would do whatever it takes to win. Then, when she did win, she wouldn't let Tyson forget it. Because Tyra knows that Tyra is the best.

P: Yes, they were making this movie editorial about her book "Modelland" and of course she was the main character named...wait for it, Tookie! She's this awkward wannabe model with one green eye and one brown eye who falls in love with this guy (played by Tyson) and since she is so awkward and unlucky in love, of course the first thing she does is suck on his thumb. Because you know everyone sucks a thumb on a first date.

I'd suck that thumb.

DJ: Oh Tyra. That's literally all I can say to that. (And I love how Tyra has even hijacked this conversation about Tyson!)

P: She's awful, right? Look at her getting into our conversations. That's the power of Tyra for you! But yes, Tyson is one sexy man, he really is. That smile he has and those little eyes, he is just a dreamy man. Like, he would make the perfect hot boyfriend that everyone's jealous of but your friends don't know why is he dating you.

DJ: I don't know about you, but he'd be dating me because I put out.

And what about you? Do you like to imagine Tyson tastes like chocolate?

100 Hot Men and a Dame: #89 River Viiperi

89. River Viiperi

Occupation: Model

Nationality: Spanish

Age: 20

Best Known For: Starring in ad campaigns for American Eagle and Calvin Klein while landing the covers of magazines such as Coitus and Guapo--all within a very short period of time.

For this installment of 100 Hot Men & a Dame, I have my good friend Kameron (follow him on Twitter and Tumblr) helping me out. Kameron and I met online a couple summers ago and, as we used to live in the same state, he's the only online friend I've made that I have met in real life. Our friendship appears to be based on disagreeing about everything, but, somehow, we have agreed on a few men on my list. So enjoy the first of a few conversations with him!

Dame James: When did you first encounter River and, if it wasn't love at first sight, when did you fall in love with him?

Kameron: It was love at first drool. I was a Men's Underwear "expert" at Bloomingdale's and we began getting a new line of Calvin Klein's in called "CK One". They were cute, sexy, young, hip, all of that... but the best part was the sexy new adverts placed in my section. The posters made me want to umm... further my product knowledge *cough* and in doing so I stumbled across this:

First off, Yum. Secondly he is European and if you know me, you know I can't resist those Europeans. This fresh face Spanish beauty had me at "hola".

DJ: Sigh, and to think the hottest guys I see at work are the generic male models wearing Target clothing. If I got to look at River every day, I'd be a lot happier at work! It's easy to see why that advertisement deepened your love of him. That accent! Although, I always find it strange hearing models speak after focusing on their looks for so long. They never sound the way you'd think. Thankfully, in River's case, he sounds better than you'd expect.

I first noticed River sometime in early 2010. I had had a slight interest in male models for a time but River had something special beyond the requisite good looks. He could actually model! And he has a wonderful, unexpected range, quite the feat since most male models only have to look hot in skimpy underwear. Have you looked into his portfolio? Any favorite photos? I've always loved this one with the cat on his head.

 

K: I've never obsessed to the point were I looked up his entire portfolio but I have seen quite a lot of sexy pics on the Fuck Yeah Tumblr blog made in his honor. To have to choose just one photo is criminal but I am fond of this one:

And I'm also particularly fond of his photos were he shows... how do I put this classy like?... his man-hair patch above the goods.

DJ: Pubic hair. You can say it. Pubic hair.

K: The picture above is one of my faves cos it's his ecstasy pose

DJ: Do you like to imagine that's the face he makes when he orgasms?

K: ...Yes.

DJ: Not that you think of that often, obviously. You have a boyfriend and everything.

K: No...never. ;)

DJ: Question: Would your boyfriend, Uli, let you have a threesome with River?

K: God yes. He probably wouldn't think twice about it. Niether would I. You have to prepare yourself/your relationship for such situations, come up with a list of "couldn't say nos"

DJ: I'm glad you and Uli have made time to discuss such important issues in your relationship. And I'm glad he understands how important River is to you.

K: If he's isn't willing, he ain't marriage material.

And how about you? Does River not float your boat or would you like to ride the rough River all night long?

Some Eye Candy for Your Saturday Evening

I hope you've been enjoying my 100 Hot Men and a Dame series. If you are, it would be wonderful if you could spread the word (and the hot men) to everyone you know. Right now, I'm waiting on a couple of things for the next couple entries and then have a few ready to go after that, so in no time there will be lots more hotness to ogle over. In the mean time, here are a few new men (at least to my eyes) to tide you over until the next 100 Hot Men and a Dame entries.

First off, we have young British actor Douglas Booth. His most notable roles thusfar have been in two BBC productions: as Boy George in Worried About the Boy and as Christopher Isherwood's young lover in Christopher and His Kind. Douglas isn't a big name yet, but he has two big movies coming up that could propel him to stardom. He plays the romantic lead in Miley Cyrus's upcoming film LOL (way to pick 'em, gurl!) and, in perhaps the most promising prospect, as Romeo opposite Hailee Steinfeld's Juliet in the umpteenth adaptation of the Shakespeare play. What I love (and, admittedly, am a little bitter) about him is that he always looks so put together. His clothes are always impeccable; I can't think of another 19 year old who can wear a suit as well as he does. I feel like he's one of those guys who can roll out of bed, put on a pair of sweat pants and look like a model walking down the street. I'm so incredibly jealous of this guy, but then I look at his face and sigh at just how beautiful he is.

Model Leebo Freeman, with his piercings, tattoos, and platinum blond hair, is not my usual cup of tea. But he has such a distinctive look, which will no doubt help him with his modeling career, I can't help but be drawn to him. It certainly doesn't hurt that he has a banging body.

If you've been following my tweets about X-Factor US, you will probably notice that a majority of them are not about Simon, Paula or any of the contestants. Rather, they are about host Steve Jones and his unfathomable sexiness. Unlike the slimy and skeezy Ryan Seacrest, Steve appears to be an every day, down to earth kind of guy. The only thing not "every day" about him is his body. Goddamn! In order to one day get up and close and personal with Steve and his body, I've devised this scheme where I force my friend to try out for X-Factor. While they are on stage performing, I'm backstage with Steve going, "Oh, Steve, I'm so nervous for my friend!" He throws an arm around me to calm my fears. If my friend makes it through, I jump up and down and scream, "Oh, Steve, I'm so excited!" and he'll join me in a celebratory hug. If they don't make it through, I'll act melancholy and say, "Oh, Steve, how incredibly sad" and he'll give me a hug to lift my spirits. Every situation is a win win for me (and Steve as well, let's be honest).

I've never seen a Logan Lerman film, and that certainly won't be changing with the release of that awful looking Three Musketeers remake, but he's a cutie nonetheless. Logan isn't an out-of-this-world sex god like certain other actors his age--Taylor Lautner, for one. Instead, he's the cute, approachable boy in high school you could easily see yourself going out on a date with and having fun doing silly stuff like bowling or roller skating. Logan's brand of charm is quite rare, especially in Hollywood, and should be cherished whenever possible.