Ladies and Gentlemen, the Meltdown Has Begun (So Why is No One Talking About it?)

Pull up your seats because it has finally begun. This picture on the left is of Shia LaBeouf wearing a bag on his head. Why, you ask? Beats the hell out of me. Some people have hypothesized that he was trying to hide from the paparazzi, but I'm really don't think that that's the case. I think Shia is starting to pull a Lindsay (Lohan, of course). Just think: this picture came out just a couple of days after it was announced that Shia had lost his driver's license due to his DUI last summer. At this point, he's only a year or two from entering rehab, playing a stripper who gets mutilated by a psychopath and dating Clay Aiken while claiming not to be gay. I smell a trainwreck about to happen...I can't wait!

One thing puzzles me/makes me angry, though. Why aren't the tabloids and gossip blogs having a total field day with this? You know that if this was Lindsay or, heaven forbid, Britney, everyone would be crying out about an(other) impending meltdown. When Shia does it, everyone shuts the hell up. Oh, right, he has "talent" and "hates" this whole "celebrity" thing. Whatever. See you at Promises.

Did You Ever Know that You're My Hero?

Anderson Cooper, you have just gone way up in my book. Not only can he do a great impression of the "I love leathah" chick on Project Runway, but now he's taking on Dina Lohan, the rest of her family and her reality show on E!. It seems like someone has been taking some pointers from Emmy Award winner Kathy Griffin on how to trash talk Hollywood. Way to go!

I Am So Sick of La Lohan

What a coke whore. I am so tired of her bullshit. Right, the cocaine in her pocket wasn't hers- she was holding it for a friend. That's the oldest cliché in the book.

So Now Paris and Lindsay Are Friends Again???

So what in the hell is happening? This afternoon I learn from reliable sources that La Lohan and Paris "Fart in a Mitten" Hilton were out partying up last night after Ms. Lohan escaped from rehab again. But wait a minute. Wasn't it just like a month ago where these two absolutely HATED each other? I seem to recall an incident where La Lohan tried to talk to Paris at a couple and Ms. Hilton pretty much laughed in her face (Isn't it really sad when you're too much of a drugged-out whore to hang out with Paris Hilton?). Then La Lohan responded by blasting K. Fed music out of her car to piss off Paris, who was friends with Britney back in those days. I remember that all of these vicious things that were said and done only about a month ago. So why now they're clubbing together like the best friends Paris used to be with Nicole Richie and Britney? I guess rehab really does help you heal all inner wounds.