100 Hot Men and a Dame: #87 Tyson Beckford

 

 

87. Tyson Beckford

Occupation: Model

Nationality: American

Age: 41

Best Known For: Being one of the best known male supermodels in the world and, for a select group of people, hosting the short lived Bravo series Make Me a Supermodel.

Joining me for this entry is my favorite--and hopefully yours as well--green-haired, illegal immigrant from Mexico, Pablo (follow him on Twitter here). He really came through for me, so much love to him. Have fun reading this adorably schizo entry!

Dame James: When did you first encounter Tyson and, if it wasn't love at first sight, when did you fall in love with him?

Pablo: I probably saw him first in a fashion editorial in some magazine, but the first time I really payed attention to him was in the flaw free video of "Toxic", and, yes, he was smoking for being a chocolate man. I could just imagine myself at the back of his bike, rubbing his arms, me rocking, of course, a red wig and leather pants.

DJ: Maybe it's because I only saw the "Toxic" video a couple times when the song was current, but it wasn't until I saw the video again that I realized he was in it. Usually, Britney's typical guy has long, greasy hair and looks like your typical country bumpkin (see also: both ex-Mr. Britneys). It's a nice change of pace to see him in her video, especially on a motorcycle. I would not mind for a moment trading places with Britney.

I know I first must have seen him in some random fashion editorial as well, but I would be unable to pinpoint it specifically. The first time I ever remember being attracted to him, though, was on this America's Next Top Model rip-off called Make Me a Supermodel. He was the Tyra Banks to 14 or so aspiring male and female model. I know the show was about the models--and some of those men were SMOKIN'--but, dayum, Tyson was always the hottest. His arms must be his trademark because they always look great busting out of the tight shirts he wears. Did you ever see the show or were you too busy trying to sneak into the country to watch TV?

 

P: I did watch Make Me a Supermodel, both seasons, and he was smoking there as well. No, I wasn't too busy trying to sneak into the country--I was already in. Obviously we don't get those kinda shows in Mexico. I like his arms, yes, and his pecs, and his abs. He has one of those bodies that you just wanna lick expecting for him to slowly melt in your mouth and have this delicious, savory chocolate taste.

DJ: Silly me for thinking Mexico would watch the American version of Make Me a Supermodel with all of those gringos. They'd have their own version and they would probably compete to star on a telenovella. He does have a very lickable body, doesn't he? Oddly enough, that would be my first instinct as well. Just a question, though: You do realize that just because he's black it doesn't mean he tastes like chocolate, right?

P: I know he is not gonna taste like chocolate, but I can dream. I know he will taste like caramel.

DJ: So, imagine Tyson and Tyra are going head to head on the runway. What do you think THAT would look like?

P: If Tyson and Tyra would go head to head in the runway...um. I've read that they are really good friends, and judging from last night's America's Next Top Model, I would say they are cause Tyra sucked on his thumb. That was disturbing. Although Tyson is a god, I would pick Tyra. As crazy as she is, she has a gorgeous face (minus the flat screen forehead) and I'm a sucker for women in fashion. But that runway would look like a chocolate fountain, fulled of muscles, boobs and Tyra's ego.

DJ: Tyra sucked on his thumb?! God, I love that crazy bitch. I'm also wildly envious of her. And I'd have to agree that Tyra would win. She would do whatever it takes to win. Then, when she did win, she wouldn't let Tyson forget it. Because Tyra knows that Tyra is the best.

P: Yes, they were making this movie editorial about her book "Modelland" and of course she was the main character named...wait for it, Tookie! She's this awkward wannabe model with one green eye and one brown eye who falls in love with this guy (played by Tyson) and since she is so awkward and unlucky in love, of course the first thing she does is suck on his thumb. Because you know everyone sucks a thumb on a first date.

I'd suck that thumb.

DJ: Oh Tyra. That's literally all I can say to that. (And I love how Tyra has even hijacked this conversation about Tyson!)

P: She's awful, right? Look at her getting into our conversations. That's the power of Tyra for you! But yes, Tyson is one sexy man, he really is. That smile he has and those little eyes, he is just a dreamy man. Like, he would make the perfect hot boyfriend that everyone's jealous of but your friends don't know why is he dating you.

DJ: I don't know about you, but he'd be dating me because I put out.

And what about you? Do you like to imagine Tyson tastes like chocolate?

River Viiperi is a Tyra Fan, Obviously

The more work I see from new "it" model River Viiperi, the more I think that someone's been following the advice Tyra Banks always gives the girls on America's Next Top Model. Case in point:

Work with the clothes, not against them.

Try something new. Go against what you'd expect.

Use props wisely.

Make a "beautiful ugly" face.

This isn't entirely accurate since Tyra hasn't one talked about herself or her career as a supermodel, but I think you catch my drift.

Oh Jesus

The movie looks like shit (obviously) with it's down-home messages about "being yourself" and "not forgetting your family" blah blah blah. But, the one thing I am excited about is seeing Tyra Banks hurl Miley Cyrus like a lawn dart in that shoe store. Genius!

America's Next Top Model Cures Me Like Chicken Soup

So, I've been suffering from a cold all weekend and it sucks blah blah blah, but, praise Allah, MTV was showing reruns of past America's Next Top Model cycles. For some reason, whenever MTV or VH1 has a Top Model marathon, I have to sit and watch the whole damn season. I could have two papers to write, 200 pages to read and online homework to finish but instead I'm glued to the TV watching these anorexic models slinking down a runway or taking fabulous pictures in exotic costumes.

Say what you want about Tyra and the judges, but I think they have magical chemistry together and I'll be very sad next cycle when Twiggy won't be gracing us with her presence anymore. I always love watching their deliberations when they actually get "real" about the contestants, who they can't stand or who they're actually afraid of (as Twiggy was of Jade). There's also a nice sense of normalcy in those meetings: Tyra's going to relate everything to her and be outrageous with Miss J, Nigel's going to be the lone voice for the heterosexual man and Twiggy's going to offer her sage opinions about the industry. They have so much fun in that panel room that I want to be a part of it so bad. Except, of course, Janice Dickinson's going to have to be brought back so I can instigate a bitch fight between her and Tyra. Watching one of the earlier seasons with Janice this weekend, I realized how much I wanted Tyra to just stand up and shout, "Shut the fuck up, Janice!" (much in the same way that she shouted "Kiss my fat ass!" on her talk show a couple of months ago)

My big dream, however, is a special episode where Tyra, Janice, Twiggy, Miss J and Mr. J all compete in a runway showdown and/or photo shoot. There would be some ego's flying and hopefully a slap fight would ensue (please let Twiggy be involved in that). Can someone please organize this? Would it help if I said I was dying and it was my last wish?