Monday, January 21, 2008

America's Next Top Model Cures Me Like Chicken Soup

So, I've been suffering from a cold all weekend and it sucks blah blah blah, but, praise Allah, MTV was showing reruns of past America's Next Top Model cycles. For some reason, whenever MTV or VH1 has a Top Model marathon, I have to sit and watch the whole damn season. I could have two papers to write, 200 pages to read and online homework to finish but instead I'm glued to the TV watching these anorexic models slinking down a runway or taking fabulous pictures in exotic costumes.

Say what you want about Tyra and the judges, but I think they have magical chemistry together and I'll be very sad next cycle when Twiggy won't be gracing us with her presence anymore. I always love watching their deliberations when they actually get "real" about the contestants, who they can't stand or who they're actually afraid of (as Twiggy was of Jade). There's also a nice sense of normalcy in those meetings: Tyra's going to relate everything to her and be outrageous with Miss J, Nigel's going to be the lone voice for the heterosexual man and Twiggy's going to offer her sage opinions about the industry. They have so much fun in that panel room that I want to be a part of it so bad. Except, of course, Janice Dickinson's going to have to be brought back so I can instigate a bitch fight between her and Tyra. Watching one of the earlier seasons with Janice this weekend, I realized how much I wanted Tyra to just stand up and shout, "Shut the fuck up, Janice!" (much in the same way that she shouted "Kiss my fat ass!" on her talk show a couple of months ago)

My big dream, however, is a special episode where Tyra, Janice, Twiggy, Miss J and Mr. J all compete in a runway showdown and/or photo shoot. There would be some ego's flying and hopefully a slap fight would ensue (please let Twiggy be involved in that). Can someone please organize this? Would it help if I said I was dying and it was my last wish?


Anonymous said...

you're muslim?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!

James Henry said...

No, it's just one of my quirky (and potentially offensive) habits that I've gotten into. Praising Jesus has been done to death, so I thought I would show some respect to another deity.