It's Britney's Comeback, Bitch

I'm just speechless after witnessing the biggest atrocity to mankind since the Idol Gives Back special last April: the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards. From beginning to end, the show was one complete and utter mess. The performances were lousy, the teleprompters kept fucking up and they got rid of all the awards. Thank God the thing only lasted two hours.

The show started right away with the mega-hyped comeback of Britney Spears. Now, I've been waiting for this all day and have been annoying my friends by counting down until it happened ("Guys, only 3 hours until Britney's comeback!"). So when it came....let's just say I was horrified. I wanted so much for her to do well and silence all the nay-sayers, but her performance was just awful. I figured she would lip-sync, but I didn't figure she would lip-sync so terribly; her mouth hardly even moved! I could forgive her this if she was dancing like hell, but she didn't even do that! Britney looked so awkward on stage, almost like she had never done it before, and she didn't really dance- she just kind of posed and swayed a little bit. The only good thing about the performance was the reaction shots of the stars in the audience: Rihanna basically laughing her ass off and 50 Cent wondering what the hell was going on. No matter how you looked at it, the Britney comeback was a disaster and she's going to have to overcome even more shit to return to her former glory.

But it's not like the rest of the Video Music Awards was any better. Sarah Silverman completely bombed after Britney. Justin Timberlake won like everything he was nominated for. Alicia Keys sounded horrible during the first half of her performance (the second half wasn't too bad). The lovely and talented MJB (Mary J. Blige) sounded almost retarded because of the screwy teleprompters. The only "good" things of the night were the brief appearance of my girl J. Hud who presented the "Best Quadruple Threat Award" (which is a hoot because she should have the won the damn thing hands down), the 45 second performance of Rihanna singing "Umbrella" during Chris Brown's performance (which wasn't bad except for the fact that it didn't seem to go together at all) and the final performance with Justin Timberlake, Timbaland and Nelly Furtado (which, in other years, probably would have been mediocre, but because everything sucked this year, it was easily the Best in Show). While the premise of this year's show seemed fresh and new, it was still the lame awards show that it has been for the past few years. It's a shame, because the VMA's could be really amazing instead of dreadfully boring.