Monday, February 23, 2009

Things We Learned at This Year's Oscars

At 45, Robert Downey, Jr. is still smoking hot. Whenever he came on screen during the red carpet stuff, I literally had to stop what I was doing because he had me swooning that much. Oh dear, the things I would do to that man.

Zac Efron has a crush on Dev Patel (Come on, don't give me that look! Of all the big names at the Oscars, why would you be most excited to meet Dev Patel unless you had the hots for him- and you can't really blame Zac because Dev sure knows how to wear a tuxedo). Can you imagine what a power couple they would be?

Clever musical sequences work just as well as an opening monologue, especially when you have Hugh Jackman performing them.

Anne Hathaway really knows how to work a musical number (I absolutely loved her big dramatic pause on the Nixon peace sign).

Tina Fey and Steve Martin should present every award ever.

Dustin Lance Black is a total hottie. Way to represent our people!

The old folks can put away their pitchforks and relax because the supposed "Disney-fying" of the Oscars didn't happen. All you had to endure was Robert Pattinson presenting one award and a five second close-up of Troy and Gabriella Zac and Vanessa during the second musical sequence. The rest was filled with pure movie star mojo. (We can all be thankful, however, that neither Miley or the Brothers Jonas had the opportunity to take the stage).

Speaking of that batshit, cuckoo-for-Cocoa-Puffs crazy number:

Baz Luhrmann may be totally insane.

BEYONCE is a true diva. Were there any other performers on that stage? If there were, I sure didn't notice because BEYONCE completely dominated those five minutes. Her vocals, stage presence and diva moves (her hands on her hip during "Lady Marmalade", her "coy" smile during "At Last", the very end with "Somewhere Over the Rainbow") all combined for one hell of a performance.

The phrase "Academy Award-winner Penélope Cruz" has quite a lovely ring to it.

As does "Academy Award-winner Kate Winslet" (never mind that it's for the wrong performance).

Change can be good. At first I thought I would hate the fact that they weren't showing clips of the nominated performance, but by the time Best Actress came around and Shirley MacLaine, Halle Berry, Marion Cotillard, Nicole Kidman and SOPHIA LOREN (nearly tying BEYONCE in terms of true diva-ness) came out on stage, I realized this radical change may be for the better.

The fact that seeing one of the shittiest films nominated for Best Picture in the past decade sweeping the awards didn't ruin the whole show for me.

So, to sum it up: Great fucking show! It went three and a half hours but I wasn't bored for a minute. Bill Condon deserves a retroactive Best Director nomination for Dreamgirls for turning around the ceremony this year. Bravo!


J.D. said...

Zac & J.D. would be an even better power couple.

Dame James Henry said...

Zac & James would be the ideal power couple, but I'll settle for Zac & Dev (or you & Zac, I suppose).

Dave said...

You're both wrong. The ultimate power couple is obviously Zac and Dave.

Dame James Henry said...

Technically, to be a power couple, both of the partners would have to have to be famous and/or be able to pull some weight in the world. As sad as it is to admit, I don't think any of us have this ability, so we would just be an "ordinary" couple. It's still nice to dream though, huh?

J.D. said...

I WILL be famous and/or be able to pull some weight in the world, tho.