Ladies and Gentlemen, Miley is Officially a Pop Star

While others with more refined musical palettes have been blasting the new Scissor Sisters and Kylie Minogue albums the past couple of days, I have had the new Miley Cyrus album on repeat. Believe it or not, and let me be the first to say that I was skeptical at first, Can't Be Tamed is a stunner. We heard the possibilities in 'See You Again' and 'Party in the USA,' but this album proves once and for all that Miley is a bonafide pop star.

Let's start with the album title. Can't Be Tamed is quite possibly the most brilliant title for a teenage vixen's album since Brit's Oops!...I Did It Again. Miley has been continuously pushing the boundaries of her Disney persona, following a cycle of blatantly flaunting her sexuality and then apologizing while remarking that people "just don't get it." With Can't Be Tamed presumably announcing her as this wild, uninhibited 17-year-old looking for some penis and a good time, Miley has been on a tear lately, making out with a chick on Britain's Got Talent and continuously wearing controversially sexy outfits every time she performs live on TV. Critics have been harassing her for weeks about this, but, honestly, this is exactly what she wants people to do. Miley, like Britney and Jessica Simpson before her, is smarter than we give her credit for. She knows that by doing these slightly outrageous acts, she'll get far more attention from the haters than if she played it safe. Every time a negative report about her rampant sexuality comes on, you know Miley's sitting at home, probably munching on some Pringles, laughing her ass off at all these people who say they are sick of her yet can't stop reporting on her every move. Miley has us right where she wants us and there's nothing we can do to escape it. I don't know about you, but I'm kind of excited.

As for the album, Can't Be Tamed is nowhere near as suggestive as the title implies. Mostly, the album is a great big "Fuck you" to Disney and her former life as a tween star. This bitch is ready to move on and if that means leaving behind her fanbase of nine year olds, so be it. The album's opening track, the strangely titled 'Liberty Walk,' at first sounds like a silly opener. After a couple listens, however, it quickly becomes apparent that this song is Miley's mission statement for the album. "It's a liberty walk," she sings over the chorus, "Free yourself, slam the door, not a prisoner anymore." 'Robot' is even harsher towards Disney: "I'm not your robot/Stop telling me I'm a part of this big machine/I'm breaking free, can't you see?" There's nothing I love watching more than female singers rebelling against The Man, giving a big giant middle finger to the corporation who once controlled them.

The album's gem, however, is a little song called 'Who Owns My Heart.' Produced by Rockmafia, the same guy behind her current hit 'Can't Be Tamed,' the song is a fairly dark sounding, somewhat mysterious, all-around sexy track in which Miley is confused about whether her attraction to a guy is because she has the hots for him or the music banging in the background. It's a slick song and one Miley should be proud of. She makes a lyric like "You know I wanna believe that we're a masterpiece but sometimes it's hard to tell in the dark" ring with enough double entendre to last through an entire season of The Office. Our little Miley is growing up before our eyes; do you think her best friend Leslie even recognizes her anymore?