Dear Lady GaGa Fans:
You're ruining Lady GaGa for me.
Ever since I heard 'Just Dance' on the radio in late 2008, I have loved the woman known as GaGa. I defended her against many of her now rabid devotees who thought she was nothing but a Madonna wannabe (HA, remember those days?). Around the time of the 'Paparazzi' video, however, a lot of people saw that she was her own artist. The comparisons stopped and many of her one-time haters became hardcore fans overnight. With the 1-2-3-4 punch of her insane VMA performance, her 'Bad Romance' video, the release of The Fame Monster and her tour, GaGa's fanbase went mental in a short period of time. And this is precisely where the problem started.
The gays like to make fun of Justin Bieber and his devoted legion of tween fans, but, in all honesty, there's not much difference between a Bieberhead and a fanatical GaGa gay. The only thing that separates them is the fact that the gay can usually compose a proper sentence when announcing their devotion 14 times a day. And boy are the gays devoted. Every televised performance is not simply a great performance but, rather, "THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN WITH MY EYES. THE RESURRECTION OF JESUS WAS LESS SPECTACULAR THAN WHAT I AM WITNESSING. I HEART GAGA!" What about that Glee Goes GaGa episode which everyone thought was so amazing? That was an embarrassment both to the Glee cast and GaGa's music. Dressing up in GaGa's costumes, doing some rudimentary moves from her videos and singing a lame karaoke version of 'Bad Romance' does not count as a great musical number. Ask any gay man who watched that episode, however, and it comes across as if that sequence redefined the musical as we know it. I think I'm beginning to understand the problem Ann Coulter has conversing with liberals.
I could ignore many of these minor irritants by simply closing my Twitter feed, but the grander problem these sentiments address is both unavoidable and distressing. This all-around obsession with GaGa has gone from simple adoration to destructive. The gays are a notoriously fickle group. When they love you, they REALLY love you. But when they don't, you better watch out because the venom is going to come out. Xtina recently experienced this with her "GaGa imitation" 'Not Myself Tonight'. The gays turned on her so quickly and so unexpectedly, my head is still spinning. I'm literally scared for how Madonna and Britney are going to fare in this post-GaGa pop landscape. I'm already pretty sure they're going to be lambasted for "stealing" from GaGa even while they're doing the same thing they've been doing since GaGa was still Stefani. Let's be clear about one thing: GaGa did not invent the idea of a stage persona or using sexuality as a part of this persona, nor did she invent pop music. Lord knows I love her, but the idea that she invented anything new, besides her individual persona, is completely ridiculous.
So, GaGa fans, I am urging you to tone it down a bit. I understand that you love her--I certainly do, too--but you're turning a great woman into an unpleasant experience with every mention of her. Also, GaGa, please go away for awhile. After the 'Alejandro' video (and I'm already preparing for an onslaught of "GREATEST. VIDEO. EVER." tweets when that premieres), I don't want to see your face for six months. Give me a chance to miss you! Let the gays talk about something else for awhile instead of how you invented the long-form music video.