Who knew that House could produce such an in-depth, theological discussion between my family? The latest episode concerned a man who, grateful for a miraculous cure to his daughter's brain cancer, every year, crucified himself on a goddamn cross as a way of showing his appreciation. The man's devotion to God blinded him to reality, and it was this devotion that got my mom and brother started. This may not be word-for-word what was said, but I swear on a stack of O magazines that this happened:
Mom: "If God created the world in seven days [It was at this point that I started laughing uncontrollably], then why didn't he just write The Bible himself instead of spreading the world through other people? He could have just invented paper, wrote it out, and people wouldn't have misinterpreted everything."
Brother: "I have my own theory about The Bible. Who was Jesus' mother?"
Brother: "Who was Jesus' dad?"
Brother: "And how did he get a virgin pregnant?"
Dad: "The Immaculate Conception."
Brother: "Nope. I think that Jesus was some kind of alien. Think about it. He had to come from some planet where all the things Jesus did that were so magical, like walking on water, are normal. Yeah, chew on that one."
[I am nearly in tears from laughing so hard, my father is shaking his head as he normally does after everything my brother says, my mother is still trying to get everyone to agree with her view and my brother's girlfriend is probably wondering what the hell kind of family she's gotten involved with.]