2008 Diva Cup Awards: The Extra Categories

Best Ensemble
Burn After Reading
George Clooney, Richard Jenkins, John Malkovich, Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand, J.K. Simmons, Tilda Swinton

A Christmas Tale
Mathieu Amalric, Emile Berling, Laurent Capelluto, Anne Consigny, Catherine Deneuve, Emmanuelle Devos, Chiara Mastroianni, Melvil Poupaud, Jean-Paul Roussillon

Milk
Josh Brolin, Joseph Cross, Victor Garber, James Franco, Emile Hirsch, Denis O'Hare, Sean Penn, Alison Pill

Rachel Getting Married
Rosemarie DeWitt, Anisa George, Anne Hathaway, Bill Irwin, Anna Deavere Smith, Debra Winger, Mather Zickel

Reprise
Henrik Elvestad, Espen Klouman-Hoiner, Anders Danielson Lie, Christian Rubeck, Viktoria Winge

If Only There Were Six: Happy-Go-Lucky

And the Diva Cup Goes to: A Christmas Tale

Best Scene


Boy A
The Nightclub
From the moment the first chords of Robyn's searing, perfectly-chosen-for-the-moment song "With Every Heartbeat" roars over the soundtrack, the nightclub scene is one of the most fascinating scenes of the year. The highlight of this scene, however, is the above clip of star Andrew Garfield, high on ecstasy, doing the most awkward/mesmerizing dance ever captured on film. I'm not exactly sure what it is about this moment that has made me watch it over 10 times, but whatever it is, it's golden.



Burn After Reading
Staredown
Has Brad Pitt ever been this at ease and interesting on-screen? I don't think so.



Cloverfield
Subway Tunnel
This scene terrified me so much that I couldn't even re-watch the clip to make sure it was the right one. Someone please let me know if it's the wrong one.



Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
The Toilet
I wanted to gag and laugh hysterically simultaneously.



WALL-E
Dancing in the Stars
I hate to use over-the-top hyperbole, but this is the most romantic scene I've ever seen since the finale of City Lights. Simply beautiful.

If Only There Were Six: The Dark Knight: "Why So Serious?"

And the Diva Cup Goes to: WALL-E

Best Musical Scene


Les Chanson d'Amour
"J'ai cru entendre"
The number is quick and gets straight to the point, but it's magical; the romance between Louis & Grégoire is the best thing about this movie.



Hamlet 2
"Rock Me Sexy Jesus"
Not quite as funny as it thinks it is, but I must admit that the whole "Jesus comes back as a huge celebrity" theme of the number is interesting to ponder.



High School Musical 3: Senior Year
"High School Musical"
The song is really nothing special, especially compared to the original's epic closer ("We're All in This Together" in case you've forgotten) but the scene is a killer. It's totally manipulative but every time I see their outstretched arms as the curtain falls down or their final bow, I just turn into a complete mess. What a perfect way to say goodbye to our Wildcats!



High School Musical 3: Senior Year
"I Want It All"
Oretga and company throws everything including the kitchen sink into this number and it turned out orgasmically. The colors! The sets! The music! The performances from La Tisdale and Lucas! There is not one weak link in this entire number.



High School Musical 3: Senior Year
"Scream"
The storm of falling basketballs is a bit dubious, but the scene quickly builds up to Efron's should-be iconic jump of the staircase. Simply magical.

If Only There Were Six: Mamma Mia!: "Does Your Mother Know"

And the Diva Cup Goes to: High School Musical 3: Senior Year ("I Want It All")

Best Quote/Line Reading

Happy-Go-Lucky
"En-ra-ha."
Everytime I look in the rear view mirror, this oddly charming chant pops into my head. Thank you, Scott, for teaching me the safest way to drive.

The House Bunny
"The eyes are the nipples of the face."
Any of Faris's line readings were golden (I especially loved anytime she added the word "sexy" to something like "pants" or "car wash") but this one had me craking up the hardest.

Role Models
"No, venti is twenty. Large is large. In fact, tall is large and grande is Spanish for large: venti is the only one that doesn't mean large. It's also the only one that's Italian. Congratulations! You're stupid in three languages."
Paul Rudd at his assholian best.

Savage Grace
"You are truly disgusting, you and your Spanish cunt. I am SPEAKING of a CUNT half your age."
Only Julianne Moore could deliver a line like this and not have it become a complete trainwreck. Just golden.

Tropic Thunder
"I don't read the script. The script reads me."
In a movie full of WTF funny moments, this is probably the biggest headscratcher.

If Only There Were Six: Role Models: "Me and the judge have a special relationship. I don't wanna get too graphic but I used to suck his dick for drugs."

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Happy-Go-Lucky

Breakthrough Performance

Emile Berling
A Christmas Tale
Manages to hold his own against Catherine Deneuve, Mathieu Amalric and Anne Consigny throughout the course of this movie. And yet he still doesn't even have a birthdate on his IMDb page. What does an actor have to do these days to get some respect?

Ari Graynor
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Who said young, pretty blondes can't be funny? Graynor has one joke to go on in Nick and Norah, but I'll be damned if she doesn't ride that joke for all it's worth. If I were an actor, I would be leery to accept a comedic drunk part because Graynor has set the bar impossibly high.

David Kross
The Reader
I don't quite buy him as a sex symbol, but I will admit that this performance showed tremendous amounts of potential in the acting field. I can't wait to see what he decides to show us next.

Grégoire Leprince-Ringuet
Les Chansons d'Amour
Adorable, slightly stalkerish instantly lovable and, quite honestly, the most alive person on the cast. By the end of the movie, we are loving him just as much as Louis Garrel is.

Trevor Wright
Shelter
What I appreciated the most about Wright's performance in Shelter (aka the "gay surfer movie") was that he didn't turn his character into a "type" we were automatically familiar with. In other words, I felt like I connected with his lower-class background more than I did with his homosexuality, and you know most actors wouldn't have done that.

If Only There Were Six: Mather Zickel, Rachel Getting Married

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Ari Graynor, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Best Diva


Christine Baranski
Mamma Mia!
Diva Moment: The "Does Your Mother Know" musical number. Baranski rips into that like the over-the-top goddess she is.

Penélope Cruz
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Diva Moment: Do I really have to choose one? Oh dear, how about her verbal assault on ScarJo during her first breakfast out of the hospital.

Catherine Deneuve
A Christmas Tale
Diva Moment: That moment in the backyard with Mathieu Amalric where they, laughingly yet seriously, admit they don't like each other.

Heath Ledger
The Dark Knight
Diva Moment: Performing that "magic trick," just because he can.

Ashley Tisdale
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Diva Moment: Descending from the ceiling to reclaim her version of "A Night to Remember" from that British cunt who stole it from her.

If Only There Were Six: Ana Torrent, The Other Boleyn Girl

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Penélope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Best Sexpot

Penélope Cruz
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Hottest Scene: If I was straight, I would say the makeout session with ScarJo, but, since I'm not, I'll go with that moment of her leaning against the wall, cigarette in mouth, posing for ScarJo's camera.

Zac Efron
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Hottest Scene: The opening shot of Zac, staring straight at the camera, dripping with sweat and panting like he's just had an orgasm. Yes please.

Hugh Jackman
Australia
Hottest Scene: Pouring water over his hot, sticky, shirtless torso while Nicole Kidman looks on. Does anything else even compare?

Mitch Reinholt
American Teen
Hottest Scene: His first date with Hannah: he's so playful and adorable it kills me.

Marisa Tomei
The Wrestler
Hottest Scene: I think a better question to ask would be which of her scenes aren't hot. And I think the answer to that would be none.

If Only There Were Six: Amy Adams, Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Hugh Jackman, Australia

Best Cameo/Limited Performance Karina Fernandez
Happy-Go-Lucky
HILARIOUS! Mines more comedic depth in three minutes than most people did in entire movies.

Anna Kendrick
Twilight
It wasn't until I saw Kendrick on-screen that the character of Jessica truly made sense to me. Why oh why is the gifted comedienne slumming it in third tier parts underneath Robert Pattinson? Can someone write her a role please?

Lena Olin
The Reader
Intellectually kicks so much ass she makes what Batman and Iron Man did in their respective summer blockbusters look like kids stuff. Still the best damn performance in the entire film.

J.K. Simmons
Burn After Reading
Impossibly drole and dark in that Coen Brothers, straight-faced way we've all come to expect and love.

Kaira Whitehead
Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys
We only see glimpses of her as Cole Hauser's secretary, but she nails the one-liner she is given so much that she ends up one of the highlights of the entire film.

If Only There Were Six: Elisabeth Shue, Hamlet 2

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Karina Fernandez, Happy-Go-Lucky

Best Poster The Dark Knight
The only reason I was actually excited for The Dark Knight was because of it's ingenious marketing campaign and this poster was one of the many beautiful ones to emerge.

Funny Games U.S.
One of the most beautiful images I've ever seen on a poster. Had me hooked into this movie straight from the get-go

The House Bunny
I'm still laughing at that stupid look on Anna Faris's face!

Prom Night
Shit movie, but that image is pretty kick ass.

The Wrestler
Interesting choice of photo and that "Witness the resurrection of Mickey Rourke..." quote is just as infamous as the film itself.

If Only There Were Six: Australia

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Funny Games U.S.

David Archuleta and Kathy Griffin: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Because I Can't Resist an Easy Target

A couple of days ago, MTV announced their nominees for their annual Movie Awards (which has produced some illustrious winners as Napoleon Dynamite for Best Movie and The Governator, Keanu Reeves and Jim Carrey--for Ace Ventura!--as Best Actor) and since they're both stupid beyond relief and as ridiculous as always, they're a prime target for my comments. Prepare the snark-fest!

Best Movie
The Dark Knight
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Iron Man
Slumdog Millionaire
Twilight

Wow, we're actually off to a decent start here. Way to go, MTV! It's not exactly what I would have chosen, but it's no worse than Oscar's picks this year. Shitdog is the worst of the bunch here, no surprise, but the nominees include two mediocre, bordering on dislike films (Iron Man and Twilight) and two quality crowd-pleasers (Dark Knight and HSM3); compare to Oscar with two shits (Shitdog and F/N), two mediocre (Benjamin Button and Reader) and one excellent film (Milk). Not bad for an award's show aimed solely at the masses.

Who I Voted for: High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Best Actor
Christian Bale, The Dark Knight
Robert Downey, Jr., Iron Man
Vin Diesel, Fast & Furious
Zac Efron, High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Shia LaBeouf, Eagle Eye

And now is the point where MTV shows their true colors. Best Actor has traditionally been their worst category, often awarding some idiot action star for kicking ass or something of the sorts. This year? What do you know, four of the five nominees are in meatheaded action films. I normally enjoy Christian Bale and RDJ and they both gave serviceable performances, but not exactly earth-shattering or even that interesting. I haven't seen Eagle Eye, but I sincerely doubt my favorite person on the planet Shia LaBeouf was even given a chance to act in that one. And when I think of actors stretching their acting muscles, my mind goes straight to Vin Diesel in Fast & Furious. I'm sure there were scenes full of depth and pathos when Vin was driving in the 14th race in the film. Ugh.

Who I Voted for: Zac Efron, High School Musical 3: Senior Year (Did Efron have to act much? I don't think so. But he radiated as much charisma and movie star charm as RDJ did in a much, much better film)

Best Actress
Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Angelina Jolie, Wanted
Anne Hathaway, Bride Wars
Kristen Stewart, Twilight
Kate Winslet, The Reader

What. the. fuck. This is, without a doubt, the most fucked up, random list of nominees you could ever generate--and only one (okay, two...in parts) legitimately good performance. Angelina Jolie was better in Wanted than she was in her Oscar-nominated performance in Changeling, but that's really not saying much. Taraji P. Henson gave the best performance but, yet again, that's really not saying much either. I love me some Winslet, but The Reader is far from her best performance (and I'm curious why the tweens voted for her...surely they didn't see this movie). Now that we've gotten those out of the way, let's discuss Anne Hathaway, shall we? I love this woman and this love only grows deeper every day, but her "performance" in Bride Wars was a trainwreck from beginning to end. It's not really her fault--there was absolutely nothing she could have done to turn that piece of shit character to get more comedy out of it--but if you we're going to nominate her for something, why not Get Smart, which wasn't great but better in comparison or Rachel Getting Married, since they were already in the mood for "weird," Oscar pictures.

Who I Voted for: Kristen Stewart, Twilight

Breakthrough Male
Ben Barnes, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Taylor Lautner, Twilight
Dev Patel, Slumdog Millionaire
Robert Pattinson, Twilight
Bobb'e J. Thompson, Role Models

Is there really any doubt that Robert Pattinson is going to win this? I know that this category is basically "Hottest Guy" but I've heard all sorts of bad things about Ben Barnes's performance in Narnia. And Taylor Lautner? Really? He was in Twilight for, what, five minutes. I'm guessing it's just anticipation for New Moon, where he has a much bigger role.

Who I Voted for: Bobb'e J. Thompson, Role Models (He was funny, sure, but any child actor could have said the outrageous lines he was given and but just as good. But do I really have any choice?)

Breakthrough Female
Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
Kat Dennings, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Vanessa Hudgens, High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Freida Pinto, Slumdog Millionaire
Amanda Seyfreid, Mamma Mia!
La Tisdale, High School Musical 3: Senior Year

My favorite category this year by a long shot. Cyrus, Hudgens and Pinto are shi: I know this and you know this. But Amanda Seyfreid?! Kat Dennings?! La FREAKING Tisdale?! Be still my heart!

Who I Voted for: La Tisdale, High School Musical 3: Senior Year (surprise surprise!)

American Idol Recap: Top 4 Edition

Okay, I'm not doing my usual tier thing because 1) if you read this blog often enough, you'll know exactly how it will end up, so why bother? and 2) I'm so pissed at tonight's Idol show that I just need to rant about it to get it out of my system. First of all, the show's treatment of my Kris was abominable. We all know that this week was going to be rough for our favorite mellow, hip indie fellow, but he was completely fucked over by the show at every twist and turn. After finishing his duet with Danny (And, seriously, what the fuck was with that? I don't watch Idol to see stupid duets thrown together for no reason other than to fill time. What happened to having each contestant sing two songs?), Simon declared Danny to be the "winner" of the duet. Well, of course he was the winner since he SHOUTED over Kris anytime they had to sing together. Besides, the song was not suited to Kris's voice at all. Then, after a short commercial break, Kris had to come back out and sing his solo. I was a bit nervous about his choice of The Beatles' "Come Together," especially after Carly Smithson knocked it out of the park last year with the best performance of the entire season, but then he started singing and, of course, added his own personal touch to it. Was it his best performance? No, but that doesn't mean it deserved the beating it got from the judges. I'm just wondering what the hell they were expecting. Kris wasn't suddenly going to grow a big, meaty voice over the course of a week and compete with the others in that way, so he did what he always does: adding a real emotional layer that is absent from the two favorites (Danny and Adam) in this competition.

While we're on the topic of those two, can we talk about how incredibly shitty their performances were? Adam went back to his old shrieking routine and, of course, the judges loved it with Simon going so far as to proclaim it the best of the night. Oh, did I mention he went first? Seriously Simon? Could you be any more obvious? Danny was just as bad and that horrific last note on "Dream On" made me want to jump off a five story building and smash my head onto the ground. Thankfully, the judges were the harshest on him they've have been all season. It was a complete trainwreck from beginning to end and an embarrassment to all involved. Allison picked the right artist and song for her voice and I'm glad that she stood up to Kara's absolutely stupid idea that she should have sung "Piece of My Heart" since, like Allison said, that has been done so many times.

One final complaint: when they were doing the duets, why did they pair the two rockers against the two non-rockers and then act like it was fair for Simon to compare them? That would be like having James Blunt and Leona Lewis team up to compete with Missy Elliott and Eve in a rap contest; it makes no fucking sense at all. If they were smart, they would have split Adam and Allison up to see the rock magic they could bring to the others. Then again, this season of Idol hasn't exactly been known for being smart.

What Does My Banner and Twitter Have in Common?

...Er, nothing. Other than the fact that I wanted to talk about both of them and this seemed like the most appropriate time.

First of all, I finally got a Twitter. Rejoice! I was hesitant at first, but Dave coerced me into getting one and I did. I've added as many people as I could think of, but if I'm forgetting you, please let me know. And make sure to add me as a friend (or follow me or whatever the fuck they call it on this site)!


Secondly, in case anyone noticed, I changed my banner a week or two ago. Isn't it pretty? Well, I think so and that's all that counts. I bet you're curious, though, why I put Zac and Leighton together in my banner. Here's the truth: I have no real reason. I just thought they looked awfully purty next to each other and made a banner. But wouldn't they be great in a movie together? Supposedly, they were originally set to star in that re-imagining of Beauty and the Beast that Alex Pettyfer and Vanessa Hudgens are now supposed to do. What a shame--they would have been absolutely perfect for that.

2008 Diva Cup Awards: Best Supporting Actress

Hiam Abbass
The Visitor
Talk about doing a lot with very little. Abbass's character is the traditional self-sacrificing, mother-in-distress we've seen since the beginnings of narrative cinema. This doesn't mean, however, that Abbass's performance is anything short of spectacular. She doesn't do much, but what she does do will break your heart. Motherly love has never been so pure and unconditional. And her scenes with Richard Jenkins? Immaculately underplayed, matching Jenkins and the film exquisitely. I honestly can't wait to dig into Abbass's filmography now (and hopefully get the chance to see her upcoming Lemon Tree).

Penélope Cruz
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
The film before her entrance is a complete mess--a disgusting sexual romp in which a swarmy Javier Bardem tries to bed a straight-laced Rebecca Hall and a sexually liberated (or so she thinks) ScarJo that's so dirty I needed penicillin afterward--but once Penélope Cruz's Maria Elena emerges, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is never the same. Cruz's Maria Elena is beautiful, fiery, passionate and hot-tempered, but also tormented, needy and jealous. Her character goes through 100 different moods and emotions during the course of the film and is written in the usual Woody Allen women-are-neurotic-nutjobs way, but it never feels cheap or shameless. Cruz makes Maria Elena desperately human, driven by the same needs and desires we are--the only difference is they are turned up to eleven for all to see.

Rosemarie DeWitt
Rachel Getting Married
When we first meet DeWitt's Rachel, we come to believe that she is the victim, a pawn trapped in Kym's delirious game of guilt and passing the blame. Later on, however, after Kym's excruciatingly self-centered rehearsal dinner toast, Rachel lashes out at her and we begin to see a different side of her. Is she really the villian in this whole thing? Who knows. Out conception of her is so radically different at this moment that it would take a strong actress to make it work. Thankfully, DeWitt is just the woman this film needs.

Ashley Tisdale
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
From my profile of La Tisdale for the 2008 Supporting Actress Blog-a-thon: "HSM3 is more concerned with the bland relationship between singing jock Troy (Zac Efron) and his annoying sweetheart Gabriella (Vanessa Hudgens) than anything else, so that means all of the supporting characters are relegated to the sidelines even more than before. But that's no problem for La Tisdale, who often does her best work from the edges, upstaging the other hapless performers like nobody's business. When the entire cast is gathered together for the first time at the spring musical tryouts, no one in the cast besides Troy is given much to do, but La Tisdale knows how to focus the attention of a scene on her whenever the script blindly ignores her. Her comedic timing on such simple quips as her sarcastic "Yipee" when the rest of the Wildcats decide to join the play at Gabriella's insistence or "Genius," delivered with such eye-rolling deliciousness when Mrs. Darbus announces the subject of this year's spring musical, is light years ahead of anyone on the cast. Director Kenny Ortega hasn't had to deal with someone with this style of over-the-top, nearly drag queen-esque, comedic chops since Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus (a performer Tisdale is eerily reminiscent of) but, thankfully, he lets her perform with reckless abandon all over the film."

Marisa Tomei
The Wrestler
I have to admit that until last year, I never really cared much about Marisa Tomei's last year. I have never seen her controversial Oscar-winning work in My Cousin Vinny and, in fact, the only two films I had seen of hers until last year were In the Bedroom (don't remember much) and, randomly Chaplin (I've seen this movie at least twice and had no idea she was in it). Then came her subtly crafted performance in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead and I was intrigued by what Ms. Tomei had to offer. And now here we are at The Wrestler, her Oscar-nominated triumph where subtlety is the name of the game. Tomei has everything going against her--no big showy scenes to work with and an absolutely clichéd "whore with a heart of gold" character--yet she still manages to craft an absolutely compelling character. Her best moment is during the scene where she's wandering around the strip club, trying to entice a guy to let her give him a private dance, and she keeps getting rejected. She tries to keep up her spirits, but you can see in her face how much it's hurting her to be rejected just because of her age. It's at this moment that we realize her character is supposed to mirror The Ram's downfall and make it all the more uncomfortable and hard to watch.

If Only There Were Six: Isla Fisher, Definitely, Maybe

Rest of the Top 10: Dianne Wiest, Synecdoche, New York...Anne Consigny, A Christmas Tale...Ari Graynor, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist...Alexis Zegerman, Happy-Go-Lucky

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Penélope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Playing Catch Up with 2009

We're almost one-third of the way through 2009 already (I know, can you believe it?) and I've seen exactly seven movies from this year. Pitiful, huh? I know it's not exactly my fault since so few films of quality are released in the winter, but I do think I could have done better (and I'm still behind on a couple of movies like I Love You, Man, Observe & Report, State of Play and three of the biggies released last weekend). What's even more pitiful than that is that I've written about none of these films at all. So, I've decided to remedy that and report on the last four movies I've seen.

Let's start with the least of these: the Zac Efron-starring 17 Again. If you've been paying any attention to my constantly updated list of film screenings on the right, you'll get the gist of my opinion of the movie. However, I thought it deserved a little more explanation. I wasn't expecting much going in, but 17 Again was for me what Twilight was too all of those tweenage girls. I was just excited to see that opening shot of Zac shooting baskets shirtless and am not embarassed to admit that I was squealing with delight the whole time. Sigh. Anyways, the film isn't all about Zac's beautiful chest and eyes and face; he actually has comedic timing and the possibility of being a legitimate movie star one day. You have to give Efron credit for delivering monologues as atrociously written as the ones he is given during the lunchroom and health class scenes with such finesse that they actually kinda sorta work. He even manages to nail the big dramatic moment. You know, the scene where he is reading that letter to his wife (Leslie Mann) and starts bawling his eyes out nearly had me in tears. Apparently, when Zac Efron cries, the whole world cries with him. Plus, he is given ample support from both Leslie Mann as his wife, who subtly and cordially works to make Zac's performance funnier, and Sterling Knight, whose stone-faced stoicism and delivery is a nice change of pace from the eager-to-please Disney hams we've come to expect. Unfortunately, I wasn't buying Michelle Trachtenberg's performance for a minute, especially the part where she wouldn't have sex with her boyfriend, because all I could imagine was Georgina Sparks and you know she would have been snorting cocaine of her boyfriend's dick in a hot minute. I also hate how the movie's "happy" ending is that Mann ends up with an old, flabby Matthew Perry instead of Zac. She works that hard to look that amazing and this is her reward? Oh hell no. Someone needs to rewrite this movie ASAP. Movie: C-, Zac Efron's Performance: B+, Zac Efron Sans Shirt: A++++++++

Next up is the latest attempt from Beyoncé to prove she's a legitimate actress: Obsessed. Was her attempt a success: Yes, but not in the way she expected. She's definitely the most interesting thing about this too long and flatlining Fatal Attraction ripoff, you can hardly wait for her to appear on screen next and when she does appear, she commands the screen like no other, but I'd hardly say it's because she's anywhere near being a good actress. Rather, Beyoncé possesses the rare ability to turn any line into both a bad-beyond-belief, Razzie-worthy reading and a hilariously campy battle cry that advances her character in ways you have to see to believe. Her character undergoes such a wild transformation from the first scene to the last that you manage to believe her insane phone message to the woman obsessed with her husband: "You know who this is. You came into my house. You touched my child. You think you're crazy? I'ma show you crazy. Try me, bitch." Has she seen the "Ring the Alarm" video? Beyoncé will not take shit from anyone. And when she utters the line "I'ma wipe the floor wit yo skinny ass!" during that insanely hilarious battle sequence at the very end (this coming soon after Beyoncé headbutts--yes headbutts her like she's fucking Andre the Giant-- Ali Larter) all hell breaks loose. The film before this moment is a true stinker, D+ at best, but adding in Beyoncé and the camp factor, it's an easy B+.

Now let's move on to a legitmately good film: Christine Jeffs' Sundance hit Sunshine Cleaning. The film has unfortunately been branded as yet another "quirky indie comedy in the Little Miss Sunshine vein" like it was a bad thing. Personally, I'd rather see more films like Sunshine Cleaning than yet another Transformers 2 or another entry in the endless line of brainless popcorn flicks. The style may feel somewhat familiar, but there's more than enough freshness here to allow this film to stand on its own. By now I'm sure your familiar with the quirky premise--two sisters (Amy Adams and Emily Blunt) need to make money and start their own crime scene clean-up company--but there is much more to the film than that. Amy Adams is spectacular as always, but the film belongs to Emily Blunt. We all saw the potential in her in The Devil Wears Prada, but, in my estimation, she has finally realized that potential. She's given the most overdone role--the dark, loser younger sibling--and she does more with it than most actresses would have. During the scene where she's rambling on and on about her vague memories of her mother to a new friend, Blunt makes the moment so uncomfortable it gives Ronee Blakely's babbling breakdown in Nashville a run for its money. Credit is also due to editor Heather Persons, who takes this scene to its limits by keeping the camera on Blunt for as long as possible before inserting a quick shot of the character listening to her. In fact, her work throughout the whole movie is impeccably done; it's extremely subtle, but extraordinarily powerful. B

Finally, the best of these: Greg Mottola's follow-up to his massively successful Superbad (which made my Top 10 of 2007), Adventureland. Like most people, going in I was expecting a return to the crude, foul-mouthed territory he had covered so well in Superbad, but I was pleasantly surprised by what Mottola offered us on this go-around. Adventureland is a surprisingly tender and achingly romantic comedy more in the Nick and Norah vein with Jesse Eisenberg as the sad sack virgin and Kristen Stewart as the blankly beautiful and eternally conflicted girl of his dreams. The two leads have some really great support from SNL stars Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig (whose eyepatch banana scene had me in stitches) and Margarita Levieva as the bodacious and all-around ideal chick Lisa P, but there was one scene in particular, lasting no more than a minute, that really made Adventureland for me: Kristen is driving Jesse around late at night after work. The windows are rolled down and the wind is flowing through the car. Crowded House's dreamy ballad "Don't Dream It's Over" is playing overhead. Jesse is lying back in his seat, intoxicated by the moment, and looks over at Kristen. She's looking off into the distance, with her trademark hand running through her hair, torn by some internal struggle that she can't verbalize to Jesse. This moment would have been glossed over by most directors, but Mottola turns into the most keenly observed moment into the entire film. B+

American Idol Recap: Top 5 Edition

Theme: Rat Pack style music with Jamie Foxx as the super secret mentor. Yeah, I've got nothing.

"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic

Kris Allen "The Way You Look Tonight" Didn't he look gorgeous tonight? Yum. He should be in a suit every week. Oh, and the performance was excellent as well. But do you really expect anything less from Mr. Allen? I didn't think so.

Allison Iraheta "Someone to Watch Over Me" Another brilliant performance from Ms. Iraheta that was pretty much fucked over by Simon and his stupid comments. Of course she wants to win this or why else would she be here? What a fucking stupid question to ask.

Paula Claps
Quite good

Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet

Matt Giraud "My Funny Valentine" The beginning was awful and the whole thing was nowhere near as good as Melinda Doolittle's superb rendition on season 6. Sad to say, but I think this may have been his final performance (even though Simon loved it for whatever reason).

"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this

Danny Gokey "Come Rain or Come Shine" Awful, awful, awful. The beginning was boring as hell which lead up to the inevitable shouting fest that is included, no charge, in any Danny Gokey number. I still do not see how the judges think that he is marketable in any way possible. Who the Christ is going to buy his Christian, feel good, soul music shit?

Adam Lambert "Feeling Good" This was terrible even by Adam Lambert's awful standards. Way too over-the-top and that maddening shrieking returned as well. Blurg. When he sang that glory note towards the end, I said to my friend sitting next to me, "The judges are going to eat that shit up." And they did. Gah, this douche's inevitable road to the season 8 crown gets me angrier by the minute.

RIP Bea Arthur

So, so sad :(

Everyone go eat a piece of cheesecake in her honor.

8 Things I Love About Susan Hayward in I'll Cry Tomorrow

A couple of weeks ago, I re-screened I'll Cry Tomorrow, Susan Hayward's 1955 Academy Award-nominated vehicle. My first viewing of this film a couple of years ago was a bit wonky (the tape stopped recording 40 minutes in and I missed probably 15 minutes in the middle) and I've grown to appreciate Susan Hayward so much more in that time so I decided this film was in need of another look. And boy am I ever glad I did that. On the surface, I'll Cry Tomorrow may not seem like anything more than your typical Oscar-bait biopic, but it's actually one of the few films about alcoholism that shows the dark, gritty and positively disgusting underbelly of the disease. Sure, the film does this in the most glamorous way possible, but it's positively riveting to watch.

The film is a solid A, but the woman who gets the most credit for that is Susan Hayward. Her performance and acting style is not for every one, but if you're lucky enough to love it, I'll Cry Tomorrow is a sight to behold. Because it left such an impression on me and I want as many people as possible to seek out this movie, here are eight reasons why Susan Hayward is utterly fantastic in I'll Cry Tomorrow.


Susan Hayward-isms If you've seen a Susan Hayward musical number before, then you know that she has certain, um, characteristics that pop up over and over again in them. Mainly, she uses her arms and makes the same five poses, or a variation of them, throughout the entire number. I know the word "genius" is thrown around a lot (especially by me) and it's meaning has been diluted a bit, but that is the only word in the English language that is applicable to Susan Hayward's ability to turn these ridiculously hammy hand gestures into something that works even half as well as it does in her first musical number, "Sing You Sinners." And that's not even talking about the way she occasionally tosses her head back with that big ole cheesy grin plastered on her face. If you're unprepared, these signature bits may throw you off and automatically write off Susan Hayward's acting ability, but once it clicks, you won't be able to get them out of your head. Genius, indeed.

Subtle Comic Timing I was HOWLING at the 20 second mark of this clip.


Knows the Importance of Being Fabulous At All Times I'm not going to reveal what event is the trigger of Hayward's character's alcoholism, but I think it's important to note that even after this traumatic event, Hayward still finds it's necessary to lie around in her bed with her hair all done and makeup applied perfectly. She's Susan Hayward, damnit; there's no way she's looking like a commoner!

"When the Red, Red Robin Comes Bob, Bob Bobbin' Along" Another example of why Susan Hayward's musical numbers at the shit, yo. She is completely rocking those twirls at the end.


Monologue at 1:16 “He’s alright…he’s fine. He’s a real doll. Our maid left this morning because I’m such a drunk. Everybody feels sorry for him. Nobody feels sorry for me. Yup, there’s drunks and there’s drunks. You see, I’m what you call an ‘adorable drunk.’ He…he’s mean! Maybe you can tell me, mister. Why is it when some men get drunk, they get mean, real mean? And then, and then, they next day, they’re sorry. So sorry. He’s great, he’s, he’s my husband….he’s a doll. Got the scars to prove it. Oh well! That’s okay with me. I’m no good. I’m no good. That’s the way it’s gotta be. I’m just nothin’ but a hopeless drunk. Getting just what I deserve. Oh well. That’s life.”

Camp When describing a performance, the word "camp" often gets a bad connotation. But, when it's done right and the film's structure is loose enough to allow it, the results can be astounding. Just think of Bette Davis in What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? or Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest and you'll see that camp does not always equal bad. This same principle can applied to Hayward's performance in I'll Cry Tomorrow. She's loud and larger than life, but she can get away with it since director Daniel Mann makes sure to scale back the entire film at certain points so she can just let loose with reckless abandon. It could have been a complete disaster, but Hayward knows how to camp it up like a true pro.


Voice over at 0:40 “Every night after that, I drank myself to sleep. I felt I no longer needed Katie’s reassurance- I was getting it out of the bottle! For the first time, I was completely secure on the stage. I was sure at last that they liked me and I deserved it. I was something! I was GLAMOROUS! I was the BEST singer IN THE WORLD!”

An Acting Style That is Both Misunderstood and Forgotten Today Going through Susan Hayward's Oscar-nominated work, it quickly becomes apparent that her acting style will be divisive, especially to modern-day viewers not familiar with the pre-Method Era style of acting she embodies. I know that when I first saw her films, I found it odd that this ham of an actress was a widely respected thespian. Over time, I've come to respect her audacity and sheer balls to be so batshit crazy over-the-top with any of her performances. With her big booming theatrical voice, sweeping gestures and go-for-broke desperation, Susan Hayward's performance in I'll Cry Tomorrow pierces through the doldrums of mid-50's American cinema like the a loud, menacing rocket launched into the atmosphere. When she's drunk, she's drunk, slurring her words and stumbling out of nightclubs with all the subtlety of a foghorn. And when she's desperately searching for a drink, not knowing where the hell she is, Hayward is fighting and scratching her way through dirt and grime and the most awful places imaginable to get some booze. It's not pretty and it's certainly not the most comfortable thing to sit through, but that's precisely why it works so well. With a method actress like Julie Harris in the role, I don't think the performance or I'll Cry Tomorrow as a whole would have worked so well. No doubt Harris would have been great, but I think there would have been too much internalization on her part, and the film completely relies on the showy, "surface" effects of alcoholism. With Harris (or any other Method actress), the film's depiction of alcoholism wouldn't have been as dirty or gruesome. Thank goodness Hayward was there with her unusual acting style to lead the way.