Okay, I'm not doing my usual tier thing because 1) if you read this blog often enough, you'll know exactly how it will end up, so why bother? and 2) I'm so pissed at tonight's Idol show that I just need to rant about it to get it out of my system. First of all, the show's treatment of my Kris was abominable. We all know that this week was going to be rough for our favorite mellow, hip indie fellow, but he was completely fucked over by the show at every twist and turn. After finishing his duet with Danny (And, seriously, what the fuck was with that? I don't watch Idol to see stupid duets thrown together for no reason other than to fill time. What happened to having each contestant sing two songs?), Simon declared Danny to be the "winner" of the duet. Well, of course he was the winner since he SHOUTED over Kris anytime they had to sing together. Besides, the song was not suited to Kris's voice at all. Then, after a short commercial break, Kris had to come back out and sing his solo. I was a bit nervous about his choice of The Beatles' "Come Together," especially after Carly Smithson knocked it out of the park last year with the best performance of the entire season, but then he started singing and, of course, added his own personal touch to it. Was it his best performance? No, but that doesn't mean it deserved the beating it got from the judges. I'm just wondering what the hell they were expecting. Kris wasn't suddenly going to grow a big, meaty voice over the course of a week and compete with the others in that way, so he did what he always does: adding a real emotional layer that is absent from the two favorites (Danny and Adam) in this competition.
While we're on the topic of those two, can we talk about how incredibly shitty their performances were? Adam went back to his old shrieking routine and, of course, the judges loved it with Simon going so far as to proclaim it the best of the night. Oh, did I mention he went first? Seriously Simon? Could you be any more obvious? Danny was just as bad and that horrific last note on "Dream On" made me want to jump off a five story building and smash my head onto the ground. Thankfully, the judges were the harshest on him they've have been all season. It was a complete trainwreck from beginning to end and an embarrassment to all involved. Allison picked the right artist and song for her voice and I'm glad that she stood up to Kara's absolutely stupid idea that she should have sung "Piece of My Heart" since, like Allison said, that has been done so many times.
One final complaint: when they were doing the duets, why did they pair the two rockers against the two non-rockers and then act like it was fair for Simon to compare them? That would be like having James Blunt and Leona Lewis team up to compete with Missy Elliott and Eve in a rap contest; it makes no fucking sense at all. If they were smart, they would have split Adam and Allison up to see the rock magic they could bring to the others. Then again, this season of Idol hasn't exactly been known for being smart.
Showing posts with label allison iraheta. Show all posts
Showing posts with label allison iraheta. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
American Idol Recap: Top 5 Edition
Theme: Rat Pack style music with Jamie Foxx as the super secret mentor. Yeah, I've got nothing.
Kris Allen "The Way You Look Tonight" Didn't he look gorgeous tonight? Yum. He should be in a suit every week. Oh, and the performance was excellent as well. But do you really expect anything less from Mr. Allen? I didn't think so.
Allison Iraheta "Someone to Watch Over Me" Another brilliant performance from Ms. Iraheta that was pretty much fucked over by Simon and his stupid comments. Of course she wants to win this or why else would she be here? What a fucking stupid question to ask.
Matt Giraud "My Funny Valentine" The beginning was awful and the whole thing was nowhere near as good as Melinda Doolittle's superb rendition on season 6. Sad to say, but I think this may have been his final performance (even though Simon loved it for whatever reason).
Danny Gokey "Come Rain or Come Shine" Awful, awful, awful. The beginning was boring as hell which lead up to the inevitable shouting fest that is included, no charge, in any Danny Gokey number. I still do not see how the judges think that he is marketable in any way possible. Who the Christ is going to buy his Christian, feel good, soul music shit?
Adam Lambert "Feeling Good" This was terrible even by Adam Lambert's awful standards. Way too over-the-top and that maddening shrieking returned as well. Blurg. When he sang that glory note towards the end, I said to my friend sitting next to me, "The judges are going to eat that shit up." And they did. Gah, this douche's inevitable road to the season 8 crown gets me angrier by the minute.
"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic
Really ecstatic
Kris Allen "The Way You Look Tonight" Didn't he look gorgeous tonight? Yum. He should be in a suit every week. Oh, and the performance was excellent as well. But do you really expect anything less from Mr. Allen? I didn't think so.
Allison Iraheta "Someone to Watch Over Me" Another brilliant performance from Ms. Iraheta that was pretty much fucked over by Simon and his stupid comments. Of course she wants to win this or why else would she be here? What a fucking stupid question to ask.
Paula Claps
Quite good
Quite good
Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
Matt Giraud "My Funny Valentine" The beginning was awful and the whole thing was nowhere near as good as Melinda Doolittle's superb rendition on season 6. Sad to say, but I think this may have been his final performance (even though Simon loved it for whatever reason).
"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this
It's never good when she starts with this
Danny Gokey "Come Rain or Come Shine" Awful, awful, awful. The beginning was boring as hell which lead up to the inevitable shouting fest that is included, no charge, in any Danny Gokey number. I still do not see how the judges think that he is marketable in any way possible. Who the Christ is going to buy his Christian, feel good, soul music shit?
Adam Lambert "Feeling Good" This was terrible even by Adam Lambert's awful standards. Way too over-the-top and that maddening shrieking returned as well. Blurg. When he sang that glory note towards the end, I said to my friend sitting next to me, "The judges are going to eat that shit up." And they did. Gah, this douche's inevitable road to the season 8 crown gets me angrier by the minute.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
American Idol Recap: Top 7 (Again) Edition
Theme: Disco Night. And it wasn't as atrocious as you would think.
Kris Allen "She Works Hard for the Money" OMG I HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I'M SO EXCITED AT HOW SPLENDIFEROUS THIS PERFORMANCE WAS. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT TURNING DONNA SUMMER'S DISCO CLASSIC INTO AN ACOUSTIC JAM WOULD HAVE WORKED AS WELL AS IT DID. MARRY ME KRIS, YOU ARE SO FREAKING AMAZING XOXO.
Allison Iraheta "Hot Stuff" Only Allison could make a rock-ified version of the Donna Summer classic work as well as it did, but I really wish next week she would pick a song that didn't seem so "obvious." I want her to dig and dig through the songs she can choose from and pick one that will allow her to stretch a bit and not just rock out to a super obvious and already covered song. Other than that, fantastic work from Miss Iraheta as usual.
Matt Giraud "Staying Alive" I liked this number at first, but after a couple of listens it's starting to completely annoy me. As with the original Bee Gee's version, the opening is epic and Matt completely nails it. But after the first chorus, the song just drags and poor Matt is just going down with a sinking ship. It wasn't bad enough to get him voted off, but you never know with America. They're complete fucktardssome most of the time.
Adam Lambert "If I Can't Have You" Mr. Shrieky slows it down and "emotes," pounding every note and word into our brain with the subtlety of a sledgehammer and draining every ounce of emotion he can out of the lyrics like the complete ham that he is. I think Mr. Shrieky would make a fine Broadway musical actor, tucked away in some theatre where I never have to hear from him again, but I would never EVER want to hear him on the radio. And I doubt many others will either.
Anoop "Dim All the Lights" He got the pimp slot and I'm still having trouble remembering anything about his performance except that botched last note. Oops.
Lil Rounds "I'm Every Woman" Girlfriend, it's time to pack it up and head on home. Karaoke at it's worst and it's not all about having fun on the stage; you need to sing, girl!
Danny Gokey "September" I love my Paula, but the woman is delusional if she honestly believes that Dead Wife Guy deserves to be in the finals (even Adam is leagues above him). The judges constantly yell at Lil (and rightly so) for doing karaoke versions of every song she does, but why does Danny never get yelled at for doing the exact same thing week after week? Is it because they think that the shouting he adds to every song equals emotion or something revelatory? I have no clue and am at a complete loss for words why this douchebag keeps on getting praised when he has not even come close to having a "moment" on that stage.
"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic
Really ecstatic
Kris Allen "She Works Hard for the Money" OMG I HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I'M SO EXCITED AT HOW SPLENDIFEROUS THIS PERFORMANCE WAS. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT TURNING DONNA SUMMER'S DISCO CLASSIC INTO AN ACOUSTIC JAM WOULD HAVE WORKED AS WELL AS IT DID. MARRY ME KRIS, YOU ARE SO FREAKING AMAZING XOXO.
Paula Clap
Quite good
Quite good
Allison Iraheta "Hot Stuff" Only Allison could make a rock-ified version of the Donna Summer classic work as well as it did, but I really wish next week she would pick a song that didn't seem so "obvious." I want her to dig and dig through the songs she can choose from and pick one that will allow her to stretch a bit and not just rock out to a super obvious and already covered song. Other than that, fantastic work from Miss Iraheta as usual.
Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
Matt Giraud "Staying Alive" I liked this number at first, but after a couple of listens it's starting to completely annoy me. As with the original Bee Gee's version, the opening is epic and Matt completely nails it. But after the first chorus, the song just drags and poor Matt is just going down with a sinking ship. It wasn't bad enough to get him voted off, but you never know with America. They're complete fucktards
Adam Lambert "If I Can't Have You" Mr. Shrieky slows it down and "emotes," pounding every note and word into our brain with the subtlety of a sledgehammer and draining every ounce of emotion he can out of the lyrics like the complete ham that he is. I think Mr. Shrieky would make a fine Broadway musical actor, tucked away in some theatre where I never have to hear from him again, but I would never EVER want to hear him on the radio. And I doubt many others will either.
"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this
It's never good when she starts with this
Anoop "Dim All the Lights" He got the pimp slot and I'm still having trouble remembering anything about his performance except that botched last note. Oops.
Lil Rounds "I'm Every Woman" Girlfriend, it's time to pack it up and head on home. Karaoke at it's worst and it's not all about having fun on the stage; you need to sing, girl!
Danny Gokey "September" I love my Paula, but the woman is delusional if she honestly believes that Dead Wife Guy deserves to be in the finals (even Adam is leagues above him). The judges constantly yell at Lil (and rightly so) for doing karaoke versions of every song she does, but why does Danny never get yelled at for doing the exact same thing week after week? Is it because they think that the shouting he adds to every song equals emotion or something revelatory? I have no clue and am at a complete loss for words why this douchebag keeps on getting praised when he has not even come close to having a "moment" on that stage.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
American Idol Disco Night Predictions
Because I'm desperately avoiding studying for my exams at the moment, here is what I think the Idols will sing tonight during Disco Night.
- Kris Allen "I Will Survive" (Acoustic) (Because he will want to embrace the gay audience who so obviously adores him)
- Allison Iraheta "Heart of Glass" (Because I'm having a really hard time coming up with a song for her. Possibly something by Donna Summer, but not something as obvious as "Hot Stuff" or "Last Dance")
- Matt Giraud "Everlasting Love" (Because it seems perfect for him)
- Anoop "Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe" (Because he obviously can't do a ballad this week and he thinks he's a sex symbol)
- Adam Lambert "Staying Alive" (Because this is kinda obvious, right? If not this one, than probably some other Bee Gees song or Gloria Gaynor's "I Am What I Am")
- Danny Gokey "(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty" (Because he'll want "to have fun" this week and the judges have constantly reassured him that he could sing the phone book, so why the hell not?)
- Lil Rounds "Don't Leave Me This Way" (Because she thinks she can belt like the big divas and, obviously, she will fail. Another possible choice: "It's Raining Men")
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
American Idol Recap: Top 7 Edition
Theme: It was supposed to be Songs from the Movies, but somewhere along the way, 5 of the 7 contestants interpreted this "Sing a Cheesy Powerballad from a Film from the 80's or 90's." Seriously, what the fuck? You could sing any song from any movie- that's over 80 years of music to choose from- and the best you can come up with is not one, but TWO Bryan Adams songs, "Endless Love" and that horribly overplayed song from Armageddon? Jesus Christ.
Kris Allen "Falling Slowly" Far and away the best performance of the night, if not the season. Not only was the song choice audacious but it was also perfect for his whole musical persona. Needless to say, I've already listened to it 20 times in a row this morning on the way to and from class. A classic in every sense of the word.
Allison Iraheta "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" Terrible, terrible song choice and for that reason alone, I almost knocked her down a level. But, it's Allison, so she actually did quite well with what she chose. I would really love for her to take a chance next week and pick a song that hasn't been done on the show a million times before.
Matt Giraud "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" Another terrible, terrible song choice but it didn't turn out too badly. I really don't understand the trashing he gets every other week, because I think he's consistently good every week and does know to do the rock songs (or, in this case, lite pop songs).
Adam Lambert "Born to Be Wild" After such dreary and lame song choices, I'm glad that Adam thought outside the box and picked something that pre-dated the Reagan Era. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean it was any good. While I've definitely heard worse from him, this was still a steaming pile of crap.
Anoop "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" Zzzzzzz. I'm beginning to wonder if Randy is confusing "soulful" with "coma-inducing."
Danny Gokey "Endless Love" Boring even by the eternally dull Danny Gokey's standards. Of course, when he finally gets a negative critique from the judges, they have to bring up his dead wife to ensure that he won't get in the bottom three. Seriously judges, how low can you go?
Lil Rounds "The Rose" Every week, Lil takes on a song by a big diva and every week she gets told that it was a mistake. So what does she do this week? Pick a song by Bette motherfucking Midler. Was she high when she thought that work? Not only did her version not even come with in the same galaxy as Bette's classic version, but it was a messy, overworked, shrieking nightmare. And what the fuck was up with that wig. As I commented to my friend during her performance, "I've seen hookers with better wigs." Please, America, put us out of our misery.
"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic
Really ecstatic
Kris Allen "Falling Slowly" Far and away the best performance of the night, if not the season. Not only was the song choice audacious but it was also perfect for his whole musical persona. Needless to say, I've already listened to it 20 times in a row this morning on the way to and from class. A classic in every sense of the word.
Paula Clap
Quite good
Quite good
Allison Iraheta "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" Terrible, terrible song choice and for that reason alone, I almost knocked her down a level. But, it's Allison, so she actually did quite well with what she chose. I would really love for her to take a chance next week and pick a song that hasn't been done on the show a million times before.
Matt Giraud "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" Another terrible, terrible song choice but it didn't turn out too badly. I really don't understand the trashing he gets every other week, because I think he's consistently good every week and does know to do the rock songs (or, in this case, lite pop songs).
Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
Adam Lambert "Born to Be Wild" After such dreary and lame song choices, I'm glad that Adam thought outside the box and picked something that pre-dated the Reagan Era. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean it was any good. While I've definitely heard worse from him, this was still a steaming pile of crap.
Anoop "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" Zzzzzzz. I'm beginning to wonder if Randy is confusing "soulful" with "coma-inducing."
"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this
It's never good when she starts with this
Danny Gokey "Endless Love" Boring even by the eternally dull Danny Gokey's standards. Of course, when he finally gets a negative critique from the judges, they have to bring up his dead wife to ensure that he won't get in the bottom three. Seriously judges, how low can you go?
Lil Rounds "The Rose" Every week, Lil takes on a song by a big diva and every week she gets told that it was a mistake. So what does she do this week? Pick a song by Bette motherfucking Midler. Was she high when she thought that work? Not only did her version not even come with in the same galaxy as Bette's classic version, but it was a messy, overworked, shrieking nightmare. And what the fuck was up with that wig. As I commented to my friend during her performance, "I've seen hookers with better wigs." Please, America, put us out of our misery.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
American Idol Recap: Top 8 Edition
Theme: Songs from the year you were born in...another Idol classic
"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic
Paula Clap
Quite good
Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this
Really ecstatic
Allison Iraheta "I Can't Make You Love Me" Okay, I will admit that I audibly groaned when I heard this song choice (Ugh, haven't we heard this song- good and bad- a million times before?) but Allison completely rocked it in her usual way. Why oh why does America keep voting her in the bottom after performances as strong as this one? They can't honestly believe she's worse than half of the other paltry contestants.
Paula Clap
Quite good
Matt Giraud "Part-Time Lover" Once I heard he was doing a Stevie Wonder song, I immediately figured that Randy would wildly exclaim, as he's prone to do in situations like this, that you should never, ever mess with a song done by someone as idiosyncratic as Stevie Wonder. I guess we were all surprised because Matt nailed it, making me forget that Stevie had ever done the original, and Randy actually liked it.
Kris Allen "All She Wants to Do is Dance" Okay, so it obviously wasn't his strongest performance to date, but the judges were way too harsh on him. "Indulgent"? Really, Mr. Cowell? What was indulgent about this performance that wasn't about more than half of Adam Lambert's? Or Danny Gokey's?
Kris Allen "All She Wants to Do is Dance" Okay, so it obviously wasn't his strongest performance to date, but the judges were way too harsh on him. "Indulgent"? Really, Mr. Cowell? What was indulgent about this performance that wasn't about more than half of Adam Lambert's? Or Danny Gokey's?
Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
Adam Lambert "Mad World" Well, at least it wasn't the Godawful shrieking mess that we've come to expect from Adam. Unfortunately, this week's performance was boring to the point of tedium. Sigh. The fact that all of the judges- even Simon!- went completely apeshit for it is further proof that Adam could literally bring out the phonebook, sing it and still win this damn thing.
"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this
Anoop "True Colors" Paula's totally loopy and slightly expected comment about Anoop being "beautiful like all the colors of the rainbow" (or something like that) was a million times better than this yawn of a performance. Why do the judges keep complimenting him on these dreadful ballads?
Danny Gokey "Stand By Me" Given the chance to sing any song from 1980 that he wanted, it would figure that Danny "I'm a complete square" Gokey would pick one that was made popular 25 years before. There was absolutely nothing noteworthy about this performance; it's exactly what you would expect from Danny every single week. Lame. Give me some excitement please.
Lil Rounds "What's Love Got to Do With It?" Absolutely dreadful. This woman obviously
doesn't have what it takes and I'm actually glad that the judges are admitting it and not covering it up with stupid compliments (*cough*Blind guy*cough*).
Scott MacIntyre "The Search is Over" At one point during this painful experience Scott called a performance, I touched my ear and blood literally came out. Please, America, make it end.
Who Should Go Home: For the love of God, please send Scott home.
Who Will Go Home: I'm guessing Lil since America really hates the girls this season.
Danny Gokey "Stand By Me" Given the chance to sing any song from 1980 that he wanted, it would figure that Danny "I'm a complete square" Gokey would pick one that was made popular 25 years before. There was absolutely nothing noteworthy about this performance; it's exactly what you would expect from Danny every single week. Lame. Give me some excitement please.
Lil Rounds "What's Love Got to Do With It?" Absolutely dreadful. This woman obviously
doesn't have what it takes and I'm actually glad that the judges are admitting it and not covering it up with stupid compliments (*cough*Blind guy*cough*).
Scott MacIntyre "The Search is Over" At one point during this painful experience Scott called a performance, I touched my ear and blood literally came out. Please, America, make it end.
Who Should Go Home: For the love of God, please send Scott home.
Who Will Go Home: I'm guessing Lil since America really hates the girls this season.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
American Idol Recap: Top 9 Edition
Theme: Songs that are popular on iTunes...or, basically, any song available for download on iTunes. What a horrible theme. Why didn't they just say "Pick any damn song you want"? It would have been much clearer.
And the crappy theme wasn't the only thing that made me angry about this week's episode of American Idol. Was it just me, or were the judges completely wrong in nearly all of their critiques? It was so bizarre. I would watch a performance, say Matt Giraud, and think, "Hmmm...I quite liked it. Not perfect, but still passable" and then listen to the judges ten seconds later completely rip to shreds. Excuse me? And what about when the exact opposite happened with Danny Gokey (Me: "Bor-ing!" Judges: "BEST PERFORMANCE EVERRRRRRRRRRRR!")? Plus, their specific critiques were so ridiculously stupid that I was this close to turning off the damn TV. For instance, how about Kara's idea that Megan should have sung Adele's beautiful "Chasing Pavements"? Yeah, that would be great if the song weren't unimprovable. God, this woman is so stupid sometimes. Megan's voice sounds too similar to Adele, Duffy and Amy Winehouse for her to pull off a cover of any of their songs. You don't want to hear any R&B diva attempting a Whitney Houston song because they're never going to match the original and it's the same problem with Megan and those singers. Also, the judges' pimping of certain performers has never been so obvious as it is this season. They are so dead set on a Danny-Adam-Lil Top 3 that they are giving a collective shurg to Kris and Allison, two of the most inspiring contestants in this- or any- seasons (and by inspiring, I mean musically, not in the Danny/Scott/Lil cheap manipulation way). Frankly, at this point, if Danny, Adam and Lil were arrested for snorting cocaine off of 12 year old child prostitutes and then came on stage and just sat there yawning, while Kris worked his magic on something as out there as "Fergalicious," the judges would still be tripping all over themselves to praise those three while Kris gets a "Quite good, but you need to work on [insert some totally ridiculous and retarded trait here]" It's all so maddening!
Whew. Sorry about that. I just had to get it off my chest. Now, on to the performances.
Kris Allen "Ain't No Sunshine" Are you guys sick of hearing about Kris Allen yet? If so, too bad, because unless he stops either being (1) hot or (2) amazing (and neither of those are very likely at this point) I won't be shutting up. Kris admitted that he was attempting to have a "moment" with a song and I must say he certainly succeeded. Not only the best performance of the night, but one of the best of the entire season. And yet the judges didn't go as apeshit as they did over Dead Wife Guy's performance. I just don't get it.
Allison Iraheta "Don't Speak" I thought the song choice was a little weak and it is one of those songs that really can't be reinterpreted, but, if the comment "you could sing the phonebook" applied to anyone this season, it would be Allison. I absolutely love her no matter what she does. And I, for one, found her hair to be gloriously over-the-top and amazing. The outfit wasn't great, but certainly Lil has committed worse fashion faux pas.
Matt Giraud "You Found Me" The more I read other people's reviews of last night's Idol (including rundowns from Vance and RJ that are obviously better than mine), the more I have come to the conclusion that I'm the only person who actually liked this performance. I thought his voice added a lot of grit and emotion to the song and it was nowhere near the disaster that was "Viva la Vida" like the judges seemed to believe.
Megan Joy "Turn Your Lights Down Low" Can we just agree on one thing: it was better than last week's disaster, right? I thought that the first half was a little rough, but once she found her groove, it improved substantially. Once again she got massacred by the judges and I'm afraid that she's going home before the blind guy. Blurg.
Anoop "That One Usher Song That's Not Really That Famous" Meh. Not especially interesting or exciting. Pretty much a carbon copy of the original. Will Anoop ever find that groove he hit with "My Prerogative" a couple of weeks ago? It's looking like a big fat no.
Adam Lambert "That One Disco Song That No One Should Ever Touch With a Ten Foot Pole on This Show" It's like this guy's one sole mission in life is to make me hate him even more by the week. After I give him a compliment last week for toning his shriekiness down and actually singing, what does he do? Comes back with another of his over-the-top monsterosities, this time to the disco classic "Play That Funky Music." He did change up the song a bit and it wasn't as embarrassing as it could have been, but...just don't do this song. Ever.
Lil Rounds "Another Power Ballad to Try and Prove She Can Sang" What a complete piece of shit. Girlfriend, you will never be Celine or Whitney or Mariah, so just give it up. And why are you still getting positive criticisms from the judges?! That just blows my mind.
Scott MacIntyre "Another Dire Piano Ballad? Color Me Surprised" It was better than last week, but so was the Columbine massacre in comparison with the Holocaust. That still doesn't mean he's any good.
Danny Gokey "Some Song Where He Convinces People That Shouting = Emotion" STOP SHOUTING. WE GET IT. YOU FEEL SOMETHING WHEN YOU SING THIS SONG. And, contrary to Dead Wife Guy's belief, not everyone likes Rascal Flatts. The only version of "What Hurts the Most" I would ever want to listen to is Cascada's immaculate dance hall version.
Who Should Go Home: Scott MacIntyre, please put us out of our misery.
Who Will Go Home: I'm dreading the impending Megan elimination, but it's looking quite inevitable at this point.
And the crappy theme wasn't the only thing that made me angry about this week's episode of American Idol. Was it just me, or were the judges completely wrong in nearly all of their critiques? It was so bizarre. I would watch a performance, say Matt Giraud, and think, "Hmmm...I quite liked it. Not perfect, but still passable" and then listen to the judges ten seconds later completely rip to shreds. Excuse me? And what about when the exact opposite happened with Danny Gokey (Me: "Bor-ing!" Judges: "BEST PERFORMANCE EVERRRRRRRRRRRR!")? Plus, their specific critiques were so ridiculously stupid that I was this close to turning off the damn TV. For instance, how about Kara's idea that Megan should have sung Adele's beautiful "Chasing Pavements"? Yeah, that would be great if the song weren't unimprovable. God, this woman is so stupid sometimes. Megan's voice sounds too similar to Adele, Duffy and Amy Winehouse for her to pull off a cover of any of their songs. You don't want to hear any R&B diva attempting a Whitney Houston song because they're never going to match the original and it's the same problem with Megan and those singers. Also, the judges' pimping of certain performers has never been so obvious as it is this season. They are so dead set on a Danny-Adam-Lil Top 3 that they are giving a collective shurg to Kris and Allison, two of the most inspiring contestants in this- or any- seasons (and by inspiring, I mean musically, not in the Danny/Scott/Lil cheap manipulation way). Frankly, at this point, if Danny, Adam and Lil were arrested for snorting cocaine off of 12 year old child prostitutes and then came on stage and just sat there yawning, while Kris worked his magic on something as out there as "Fergalicious," the judges would still be tripping all over themselves to praise those three while Kris gets a "Quite good, but you need to work on [insert some totally ridiculous and retarded trait here]" It's all so maddening!
Whew. Sorry about that. I just had to get it off my chest. Now, on to the performances.
"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic
Really ecstatic
Kris Allen "Ain't No Sunshine" Are you guys sick of hearing about Kris Allen yet? If so, too bad, because unless he stops either being (1) hot or (2) amazing (and neither of those are very likely at this point) I won't be shutting up. Kris admitted that he was attempting to have a "moment" with a song and I must say he certainly succeeded. Not only the best performance of the night, but one of the best of the entire season. And yet the judges didn't go as apeshit as they did over Dead Wife Guy's performance. I just don't get it.
Paula Clap
Quite good
Quite good
Allison Iraheta "Don't Speak" I thought the song choice was a little weak and it is one of those songs that really can't be reinterpreted, but, if the comment "you could sing the phonebook" applied to anyone this season, it would be Allison. I absolutely love her no matter what she does. And I, for one, found her hair to be gloriously over-the-top and amazing. The outfit wasn't great, but certainly Lil has committed worse fashion faux pas.
Matt Giraud "You Found Me" The more I read other people's reviews of last night's Idol (including rundowns from Vance and RJ that are obviously better than mine), the more I have come to the conclusion that I'm the only person who actually liked this performance. I thought his voice added a lot of grit and emotion to the song and it was nowhere near the disaster that was "Viva la Vida" like the judges seemed to believe.
Megan Joy "Turn Your Lights Down Low" Can we just agree on one thing: it was better than last week's disaster, right? I thought that the first half was a little rough, but once she found her groove, it improved substantially. Once again she got massacred by the judges and I'm afraid that she's going home before the blind guy. Blurg.
Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
Anoop "That One Usher Song That's Not Really That Famous" Meh. Not especially interesting or exciting. Pretty much a carbon copy of the original. Will Anoop ever find that groove he hit with "My Prerogative" a couple of weeks ago? It's looking like a big fat no.
Adam Lambert "That One Disco Song That No One Should Ever Touch With a Ten Foot Pole on This Show" It's like this guy's one sole mission in life is to make me hate him even more by the week. After I give him a compliment last week for toning his shriekiness down and actually singing, what does he do? Comes back with another of his over-the-top monsterosities, this time to the disco classic "Play That Funky Music." He did change up the song a bit and it wasn't as embarrassing as it could have been, but...just don't do this song. Ever.
Lil Rounds "Another Power Ballad to Try and Prove She Can Sang" What a complete piece of shit. Girlfriend, you will never be Celine or Whitney or Mariah, so just give it up. And why are you still getting positive criticisms from the judges?! That just blows my mind.
"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this
It's never good when she starts with this
Scott MacIntyre "Another Dire Piano Ballad? Color Me Surprised" It was better than last week, but so was the Columbine massacre in comparison with the Holocaust. That still doesn't mean he's any good.
Danny Gokey "Some Song Where He Convinces People That Shouting = Emotion" STOP SHOUTING. WE GET IT. YOU FEEL SOMETHING WHEN YOU SING THIS SONG. And, contrary to Dead Wife Guy's belief, not everyone likes Rascal Flatts. The only version of "What Hurts the Most" I would ever want to listen to is Cascada's immaculate dance hall version.
Who Should Go Home: Scott MacIntyre, please put us out of our misery.
Who Will Go Home: I'm dreading the impending Megan elimination, but it's looking quite inevitable at this point.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
American Idol Recap: Top 10 Edition
Theme: Motown, an American Idol tradition
Kris Allen "How Sweet It Is" Kris, once again, showed why he's amazing by taking another Marvin Gaye song and completely transforming it into the cool, laid back pop song he does so well. This guy is so ridiculously talented and deserves way more respect than Adam and Danny. On a side note, Kris, you can divorce your wife and marry me anytime. I will even be your mistress if that's the way you roll.
Allison Iraheta "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" Another worrisome song choice, but Allison, not surprisingly, nailed it. I thought it was amazing for two reasons: first, Allison's vocals were spot on. Secondly, she told a story with the song and, for the first time, "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" made sense to me. Brilliant, bold move.
Paula Clap
Quite good
Adam Lambert "Track of My Tears" I know, I'm just as surprised as you. I didn't think it was as mindblowingly great as the judges seemed to think, but, for the most part, he avoided shrieking and pretentious wankery and actually sang the song. Now that I've complemented him, you know he's going to go back next week and do something shitty like "Ring of Fire" again. Sigh.
Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
Lil Rounds "Heatwave" Mediocre. Where is this girl's mad skills that we've been hearing about (or, a better question is, when was this time where she "blew us all away" as Simon recollected)? I don't exactly think that someone practically shouting at us qualifies as any kind of talent.
Anoop "Oooh, Baby Baby" What the Christ where the judges smoking when they critiqued this one? This was BORING and it sounded way to high for Anoop. The falsettos where whiny and extremely thin. Bring me back "My Prerogative" era Anoop, please.
Megan Joy "For Once in My Life" After doing so amazing last week (well, by my estimation, anyways), this was a bit of a trainwreck, huh? Give her time, though, and I'm confident she'll finally learn to pick songs that match her extremely unique voice.
"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this
Danny Gokey "Get Ready" Goddamnit, why is this guy so popular? He does not even possess one-tenth the artistry of Matt, Kris or Allison (or even Adam this week), instead just blindly oversinging ever performance and yet the judges keep giving him a free pass. Gah, it drives me insane.
Michael Sarver "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" Instantly forgettable. It's to the point where I've just started blocking out his performances as soon as they are over. What the hell, America? This guy is better than Alexis Grace? I just don't understand it.
Scott McIntyre "You Can't Hurry Love" MAKE IT STOP! Oh my God, you guys, this was one of the most horrendous performances I've ever heard on American Idol (yes, it reaches Sanjaya levels of awfulness). I'm no expert on pitch or anything, but even I could tell it was all over the place and rarely sounded in tune. Plus, it sounded exactly like every other performance of his. Please America, do us a favor and get rid of this succubus now.
Who Should Go Home: Without a doubt, Scott McIntyre
Who Will Go Home: Hopefully, it's between Scott and Michael, but I have a horrible suspicion that Megan may end up there as well (do not let this happen!).
"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic
Really ecstatic
Matt Giraud "Let's Get It On" What made these three the best of the night was the fact that they took nearly "untouchable" songs and worked them to fit with their musical style. The best of these was Kalamazoo native (what what!) Matt Giraud's take on Marvin Gaye's overused "Let's Get It On." I was a bit scared when I heard his choice, but as soon as he started singing I knew I was in for something special.
Kris Allen "How Sweet It Is" Kris, once again, showed why he's amazing by taking another Marvin Gaye song and completely transforming it into the cool, laid back pop song he does so well. This guy is so ridiculously talented and deserves way more respect than Adam and Danny. On a side note, Kris, you can divorce your wife and marry me anytime. I will even be your mistress if that's the way you roll.
Allison Iraheta "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" Another worrisome song choice, but Allison, not surprisingly, nailed it. I thought it was amazing for two reasons: first, Allison's vocals were spot on. Secondly, she told a story with the song and, for the first time, "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" made sense to me. Brilliant, bold move.
Paula Clap
Quite good
Adam Lambert "Track of My Tears" I know, I'm just as surprised as you. I didn't think it was as mindblowingly great as the judges seemed to think, but, for the most part, he avoided shrieking and pretentious wankery and actually sang the song. Now that I've complemented him, you know he's going to go back next week and do something shitty like "Ring of Fire" again. Sigh.Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
Lil Rounds "Heatwave" Mediocre. Where is this girl's mad skills that we've been hearing about (or, a better question is, when was this time where she "blew us all away" as Simon recollected)? I don't exactly think that someone practically shouting at us qualifies as any kind of talent.Anoop "Oooh, Baby Baby" What the Christ where the judges smoking when they critiqued this one? This was BORING and it sounded way to high for Anoop. The falsettos where whiny and extremely thin. Bring me back "My Prerogative" era Anoop, please.
Megan Joy "For Once in My Life" After doing so amazing last week (well, by my estimation, anyways), this was a bit of a trainwreck, huh? Give her time, though, and I'm confident she'll finally learn to pick songs that match her extremely unique voice.
"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this
Danny Gokey "Get Ready" Goddamnit, why is this guy so popular? He does not even possess one-tenth the artistry of Matt, Kris or Allison (or even Adam this week), instead just blindly oversinging ever performance and yet the judges keep giving him a free pass. Gah, it drives me insane.Michael Sarver "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" Instantly forgettable. It's to the point where I've just started blocking out his performances as soon as they are over. What the hell, America? This guy is better than Alexis Grace? I just don't understand it.
Scott McIntyre "You Can't Hurry Love" MAKE IT STOP! Oh my God, you guys, this was one of the most horrendous performances I've ever heard on American Idol (yes, it reaches Sanjaya levels of awfulness). I'm no expert on pitch or anything, but even I could tell it was all over the place and rarely sounded in tune. Plus, it sounded exactly like every other performance of his. Please America, do us a favor and get rid of this succubus now.
Who Should Go Home: Without a doubt, Scott McIntyre
Who Will Go Home: Hopefully, it's between Scott and Michael, but I have a horrible suspicion that Megan may end up there as well (do not let this happen!).
Friday, March 20, 2009
American Idol Recap: Top 11
Before we get started on my (very, very late) recap, let me just get something off my chest about Wednesday night's elimination: How stupid can you possibly be, America? Voting the strongest female singer of the competition in the Bottom 3 after a strong performance? Eliminating the second best female singer after a slightly off week that was still better than half of her competition? NOT PUTTING THE BLIND GUY IN THE BOTTOM 3 AFTER DELIVERING EXACTLY THE SAME SAFE AND UNINSPIRING PERFORMANCE? Ugh, I just do not understand this country sometimes. How can you be exposed to genuine talent flashing across your TV screen every week and then still vote for the BLIND GUY? What the hell, people?
Okay, ranting over (for now). Let's get to the performances. Like last week, they are arranged, in order, in one of these categories.
Okay, ranting over (for now). Let's get to the performances. Like last week, they are arranged, in order, in one of these categories.
"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic
Paula Clap
Quite good
Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this
Really ecstatic
Megan Joy "Walking After Midnight" Well, this was a pleasant surprise. Sick or not, I thought Megan was absolutely fantastic. Her voice, much like Fantasia, will divide more people than the Cotillard/Christie debate, but count me in as one of the lovers. She has instantly gone from someone not even worth a shrug to someone I will be anticipating next week.
Kris Allen "To Make You Feel My Love" Why, oh why is this guy not available for me to marry? I wouldn't even have to think about it if he asked me. Not only is he adorable beyond words, but his take on this number was simply one of the most beautiful performances I've ever seen on this show.
Kris Allen "To Make You Feel My Love" Why, oh why is this guy not available for me to marry? I wouldn't even have to think about it if he asked me. Not only is he adorable beyond words, but his take on this number was simply one of the most beautiful performances I've ever seen on this show.
Paula Clap
Quite good
Allison Iraheta "Blame It On Your Heart" Can this woman do every genre known to man? You would think this rocker chick would be lost during Grand Ole Opry week but she absolutely nailed the song. I can't wait for yodeling week now because we all know she'll kick ass at that too.
Anoop "Always On My Mind" Where the hell did this awesome performance come from? Remembering his mediocre take on Monica's "Angel of Mine," I audibly groaned when I heard he was doing this song, so imagine my surprise when it was nearly as good as Kris' similarly stripped down performance.
Matt Giraud "So Small" The performance has diminished slightly since Tuesday, but isn't Matt's version like 50 times better than Carrie Underwood's lackluster original? I love what he does behind the piano, but I hope Matt takes a break from all of this balladering and gets us on our feet this week during Motown week. It would definitely be a welcome change of pace.
Alexis Grace "Jolene" I will admit that it wasn't as good as last week's performance, but it was nowhere near bad enough to get kicked off. On a side note, what the hell was up with Kara's comment that she should have sang "Before He Cheats"? I love Alexis as much as the next guy (well, apparently not after Wednesday night) but there's not a chance in hell that she would have ever surpassed Carrie's version. That song is not open for reinterpretation.
Anoop "Always On My Mind" Where the hell did this awesome performance come from? Remembering his mediocre take on Monica's "Angel of Mine," I audibly groaned when I heard he was doing this song, so imagine my surprise when it was nearly as good as Kris' similarly stripped down performance.
Matt Giraud "So Small" The performance has diminished slightly since Tuesday, but isn't Matt's version like 50 times better than Carrie Underwood's lackluster original? I love what he does behind the piano, but I hope Matt takes a break from all of this balladering and gets us on our feet this week during Motown week. It would definitely be a welcome change of pace.
Alexis Grace "Jolene" I will admit that it wasn't as good as last week's performance, but it was nowhere near bad enough to get kicked off. On a side note, what the hell was up with Kara's comment that she should have sang "Before He Cheats"? I love Alexis as much as the next guy (well, apparently not after Wednesday night) but there's not a chance in hell that she would have ever surpassed Carrie's version. That song is not open for reinterpretation.
Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
Lil Rounds "Independence Day" One word: trainwreck. Way to piss all over one of the best divas of country music's signature song. This woman needs to do something great soon to live up to all of this hype she's been given.
Danny Gokey "Jesus Take the Wheel" It actually wasn't too bad- and for an ever brief moment I actually thought he was a good singer- but his performance of the Carrie Underwood standard made one thing perfectly clear to me: he's "American Idol" good but not "real world" good. This is a very subtle distinction but it's what clearly separates Kelly, Carrie, Jordin and Chris from Ruben, Clay, Justin, Diana, Taylor, Syesha, etc. I just can not see Danny as a recording artist in today's music industry. He has no personality, no looks, no preferred genre and I have no idea what his album would sound like.
Danny Gokey "Jesus Take the Wheel" It actually wasn't too bad- and for an ever brief moment I actually thought he was a good singer- but his performance of the Carrie Underwood standard made one thing perfectly clear to me: he's "American Idol" good but not "real world" good. This is a very subtle distinction but it's what clearly separates Kelly, Carrie, Jordin and Chris from Ruben, Clay, Justin, Diana, Taylor, Syesha, etc. I just can not see Danny as a recording artist in today's music industry. He has no personality, no looks, no preferred genre and I have no idea what his album would sound like.
"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this
Michael Sarver "Ain't Goin' Down ('Til the Sun Comes Up)" Simon was exactly right: I couldn't understand a word coming out of his mouth. He should have gotten a free pass this week, but he completely fudged that up.
Scott McIntyre "Wild Angels" Atrocious. He somehow turned a beautiful Martina McBride song into an incredibly cheesy power inspirational ballads that sounded EXACTLY like his performance last week. I think, for once in his life, Scott is thanking Jesus that he's blind because that's the only way he keeps getting voted through every week.
Adam Lambert "Ring of Fire" What a complete piece of shit. Once again, Simon was spot on when he called this performance "pretentious." He finally toned down his screaming but everything else about his performance just reeked of "Look at me! I'm a respectable artist!" If this fuckhead wins the season based on shit like this, I seriously don't know if I can ever trust America again to pick an Idol again.
Scott McIntyre "Wild Angels" Atrocious. He somehow turned a beautiful Martina McBride song into an incredibly cheesy power inspirational ballads that sounded EXACTLY like his performance last week. I think, for once in his life, Scott is thanking Jesus that he's blind because that's the only way he keeps getting voted through every week.
Adam Lambert "Ring of Fire" What a complete piece of shit. Once again, Simon was spot on when he called this performance "pretentious." He finally toned down his screaming but everything else about his performance just reeked of "Look at me! I'm a respectable artist!" If this fuckhead wins the season based on shit like this, I seriously don't know if I can ever trust America again to pick an Idol again.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
American Idol Recap: Top 13
Theme: Michael Jackson
For the sake of trying something new, I decided to organize this week's performances in different categories each named after a certain Paula-ism that I'm sure any American Idol fan is well acquainted with.
For the sake of trying something new, I decided to organize this week's performances in different categories each named after a certain Paula-ism that I'm sure any American Idol fan is well acquainted with.
"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic
Allison Iraheta "Give in to Me" The best performance of the night, in my humble opinion. She totally transformed the song to the point that I never would have guessed in a million years Michael Jackson sang it originally. Does AI finally have their first legitimate rocker chick? It's looking good for her.Kris Allen "Remember the Time" Yay! I'm so glad "Man in the Mirror" wasn't a total fluke and Kris got the chance to show us what he's really made of. Excellent song choice and quite a nice performance. This kid is going places.
Alexis Grace "Dirty Diana" Did she oversing? Maybe, but it was nowhere near as bad as Adam Lambert (more on him later). Like Allison, by the end of the song, I barely recognized it as a Michael Jackson song. I'm still not sure why the judges weren't crazy about it.
Paula Clap
Quite good
Quite good
Matt Giraud "Human Nature" I feel an obligation to represent my city (K-zoo!), even when he was bad ("Viva la Vida" anyone?) but this was actually an excellent performance that reminded us why we loved him during Hollywood Week..Lil Rounds "The Way You Make Me Feel" She hasn't blown me away yet (she's more of a LaKisha then a Melinda Doolittle in that respect) but she's totally on the verge of doing it. With the right song, Lil could completely dominate this season methinks.
Megan Joy Corkrey "Rockin' Robin" I admit that I love the silliness of the song choice and I think she did a lot more with it than she really had to. I'm still not completely sold on her, but this performance is edging me closer to her side.
Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet
Anoop "Beat It" In theory, this sounds like the perfect song for the loveable, crowd-pleasing Anoop, but something was missing last night. The song sounded like ordinary karaoke anyone could have done while slightly drunk at the bar. I haven't given up on him yet, but I'm starting to think that maybe "My Prerogative" was a fluke.Adam Lambert "Black and White" Just shut up already! I have had it up to here with your incessant shrieking that you call singing and your over-the-top theatrics.
Danny Gokey "Pretty Young Thing (P.Y.T.)" You too! Please just crawl in a hole and go far, far away from AI land. We get it, your wife died- you're still not as great as people (and you) think you are.
"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this
It's never good when she starts with this
Michael Sarver "You Are Not Alone" Totally forgettable. It hasn't even been 24 hours yet and I really can't remember anything about this performance. He seems like a nice guy, but the talent is just not there.Jasmine Murray "I'll Be There" Newsflash: Mariah Carey did a version of this song in 1993. This means that no singer who could be considered an R&B "diva" should ever touch this song. You will never even come close.
Jorge Nunez "Never Can Say Goodbye" I have no idea what anyone could possibly see in this guy. His singing is mediocre at best, he doesn't look like a superstar and he seems about as relevant as Enrique Iglesias. Oh wait, he cried on camera so that makes him a good guy. Excuse me while I barf.
Scott MacIntyre "Some Inspiration Dreck Because That's All He Can Sing" I hate to sound insensitive (wait, that's a lie), but this isn't American Idol: Special Olympics Edition. It's great that he's overcome adversity to achieve his dream blah blah blah, but that still doesn't mean he's a great singer. If he could actually see, Scott never would have made it out of the Top 36 (if he even got that far). America, sometimes you need to get over the sob story and start voting for people because of their talent (a novel idea, I know).
Who Should Go Home: Jorge and Scott
Who is Going Home: Jasmine and Megan (it could also be Jorge, but I have a feeling America hasn't quite warmed up to her yet...maybe it's because she didn't cry onstage)
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