Wednesday, May 13, 2009

American Idol Recap: Top 3 Edition

Theme: Judge's Choice, Finalist's Choice and...oh wait, that's it because the judges can't keep their fucking traps shut for long enough to even get through six songs in an hour. Seriously, how do they keep going past 9:00 every damn episode?

Really ecstatic

Kris Allen "Heartless" Just when I was ready to write Kris off after a decent first round performance and Gokey mugging his way through "You Are So Beautiful," proving what an "amazing" "vocalist" he is, he surprised everyone with by announcing that he was doing a Kanye West song. Readers, I'm not going to lie- I literally did the gay inhale at this point. The sheer audacity of the choice combined with the artistry and knack for turning the most random songs (ie She Works Hard for the Money, Remember the Time, Ain't No Sunshine) into material that works for him as an artist was enough to get me excited. With the level of depth and feeling he mined from a song that's currently one of the most robotic songs on the radio, Mr. Allen did not disappoint in the slightest and in fact improved upon the original. The greatest thing about this performance is that, for once, Kris has stolen the spotlight from the seemingly unstoppable train of publicity from one Glambert and gotten everyone in America talking about his performance (Hell, my friend who never even watches the show told me via Facebook this morning that she caught his performance and was so impressed she called and voted for him). This kind of buzz couldn't have come at a better time.

Paula Claps
Quite good

Kris Allen "Apologize" Not as amazing as it could have been, but the way the judges went on, you would have thought it was the most atrocious thing they had ever heard. I love (ie really, really detest) how the judges often criticize the singers for changing up the melody when it was strong enough to be sung straight through, but when Kris does just that, they tell him he should have changed it up. Still, A++ for effort (if the judges can use that as a critique, so can I!).

Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet

"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this

Adam Lambert "Cryin'" Clichéd and uninspiring. He did everything you would expect him to do with the song and consequently I was bored silly. Next.

Adam Lambert "One" When Simon picked this song out, did he have a brainfart and completely forget that Mary J. Blige did the ultimate cover of this song a couple of years ago (and even sang it with Elliot Yamin on the Season 5 Finale) or did he honestly think that Adam was ever going to match that genuine emotion MJB brought to it? This song was a complete failure on all fronts.

Danny Gokey "You Are So Beautiful" Seriously? Of all the songs in the universe you could ever pick, you go with this eternally dull and hopelessly old-fashioned choice? If this is any hint about what your first album is going to sound like, excuse me while I stick my head in an oven to escape the sound of feel-goody Christian bullshit and insipid romantic ballads. I think I'd rather listen to Eoghan Quigg's album (Haha, okay, maybe that was taking it a bit too far, but the point still stands).

Danny Gokey "Dance Little Sister" I was unfamiliar with Terence Trent D'Arby's version of this song, so I decided to YouTube it and I can honestly see where Paula was going with this choice (whoever said she was the weak link on the panel honestly needs to reappraise their standards- she is honestly the only decent judge left on the show). Unfortunately for her, Danny completely let her down--what else is new--and just mangled this song like a cat sharpening it's claws all over your brand new leather couch. D'Arby was able to use his growly voice and still keep the song light and airy; Gokey, on the other hand, just completely deflated any attempt at smoothness, especially with those epically bad "Do-do-do's" which lingered there like a bad aftertaste. If this fucker gets in the finals over Kris Allen, I seriously have no clue how I will react. It will either be an uncontrollable rage that lands me in jail or a coma-like trance that I won't emerge from for a long while.


Anonymous said...

I did the gay inhale at that same point. lol
Also when he was the first one called into the finale.

Anonymous said...

For the first time this season, I burnt last Tuesday and Wednesday's eps of AI onto disc so my mother, and whoever else I forced, could sit down, shut up and watch Kris Allen A) perform Heartless, B)Hear Simon give him the praise he deserved, and C) See Kris going home (brought me to tears, I swear. Loved it). And so far, out of those who I have played the episodes for, they all love Kris, some like Gokey (tbh, I liked his You're So Beautiful better than either of Glambert's screaming-for-a-sex-change performances), and none of them liked Adam. So I think my mission was accomplished.

Also, did anyone else out there find that African boy's song thing really disturbing, like he was having some sort of fit? I mean, I know I am not heartless, but I thought it was incredibly random and scary. It was probably just me though, sigh. I should go to church more.

Anyways, glad you didn't end up in jail or in a coma, and just want to say this is another fabulous recap post, and it's been awesome reading such honesty throughout the season. <3