The Passion of Beyoncé

In case you haven't noticed, Beyoncé has had a hell of a 2009. With the 'Single Ladies' music video, her tour de camp performance in Obsessed, the insanity that is the 'Sweet Dreams' music video and then her "kindness" at the VMA's this year by allowing Taylor Swift to finish her acceptance speech when she won Video of the Year, there's on a short list of people who can come close to matching her accomplishments this year. What I love about Beyoncé though is that she can accomplish all of these amazing things and yet she's still the batshit crazy diva we all know and love. For instance, remember earlier this year when she said that she is motivated to stay in shape by placing a picture of an Oscar in front of her treadmill? Yup, that's my B! Ready to do whatever it takes to prove she's a real actress and obtain that elusive Oscar.

In yet another of random conversations, J.D. and I were talking about Beyoncé and we were trying to come up with the perfect film to win her the Oscar. Finally, we settled on a biopic about herself in which she does everything herself: writing, directing, cinematography, art direction, composing the original score, writing seven new original songs and, of course, starring not only as herself but also as every other character in the movie. Yes, you heard me: she's going to play her father, Jay-Z, Kelly & Michelle and Jennifer Hudson. When we tried to come up with a name, nothing was working until J.D. suggested The Passion of Beyoncé in reference to The Passion of the Christ, since B thinks she's Jesus and that the whole world is against her. Needless to say, it was a brilliant and appropriate choice.

One day a little while later, I was bored so I decided to make some fake posters for this imaginary movie just for shits and giggles. I've had them for awhile, but I wasn't sure if I should post them because I thought other people might not find them as funny as I do. A couple days ago I couldn't think of anything to post about and I thought, "Hey, now might be a good time to whip these out" and here we go. I hope you enjoy them and will join me in urging Beyoncé to start working on this movie so she can get her Oscar.