Sunday, October 11, 2009

Send It On, On and On

Over the past couple of weeks, I've become obsessed with Disney's attempt to cash in on this whole environmental awareness thing that's become hip in the past year or so: a power ballad called 'Send It On' and performed by all of Disney's largest commodities in a "We Are the World" sort of way. Together, for the first time, we have The Brothers Jonas, Miley, Demi and Selena ready to cash their paychecks save the world. In case you haven't heard it yet, here's the video for you to enjoy (it's a hoot!).

First of all, isn't the song itself hilarious? The lyrics are as inane as you can possibly imagine ("And love isn't love/Until you give it away"? Oy vey) but the real story is in the vocal deliveries. The song is kind of mellow throughout, with Nick & Miley, Joe & Demi and Kevin & Selena (?) taking turns with a verse each, but, by the end, it descends into some kind of vocal "powerhouse" match with Miley trying to out shout Demi's lovely strong voice (it's actually somewhat reminds me of the time Jennifer Hudson and Holliday dueted on "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" and the whole song was just them saying "fuck it" to the melody by shouting runs and making ridiculous faces to prove how emotional they are about it).

Secondly, I can't be the only one would have murdered just to be a fly on the wall of that video shoot. There is enough tween drama between these six (er, five...poor Kevin is left on the sidelines yet again) to fill seven issues of Tiger Beat magazine. Just imagine their inner monologues when this group photo was taken:

Joe: People thinking I'm fucking Demi. Who's the man? I am!

Demi: Bitch please, why are people thinking I would fuck that disgusting scrub? I have the best show on the Disney Channel and the best album of the year; I don't need his talentless ass hanging around me anymore. Oh, and Miley's still totally a bitch.

Nick: I totally nailed two chicks on this set!

Selena: Why does Miley get to sing with Nick? I'm totally prettier than her. And he told me she was lousy in bed. Ugh, I wish people would stop thinking D and I made up with that country bumpkin.

Miley: Yee haw, y'all! I'm just totally happy to be here. I wonder when Demi and Selena will pose with me for pics for my Facebook. They're totally my new BFF's now. I mean, helloooooooooo, we are totally awesome together. Hopefully Nick and I can get some alone time together. I just hope he doesn't call me "Zac" while we're doing it.

Kevin: Hey guys, I'm back here!

I don't know about you, but I totally can't wait for the behind-the-scenes, made-for-Lifetime movie that's sure to come about in five years (probably in a double feature with one about the Grey's cast). Let's hope someone has a secret drug addiction just to make the drama even juicier!


Marcy said...

My friend and I totally sucked up this video. We're one of those teenage girls who thinks "omg nick and miley r so perfect for each other!!!" mainly because...imagine what a kickass tigerbeat issue their "romance" might make...

The song itself is cheesy as hell. Lets just say I don't frequently put it on repeat like the other songs those Disney kids sing individually (I consider the Jobros as a collective entity and Selena Gomez as "not a singer").

The fact that Kevin isn't in the spotlight as much as the others is exactly why I love Kevin.

Dame James said...

OMG, the Tiger Beat issue after they make it official again will be a killer. I can already see the pink two page layout with a bunch of hearts and cutesy pictures of the couple walking down the street.

There's no denying that the song is terrible, because it is and even I can't defend it. I love it because of how blatantly awful it is. That, and the aforementioned vocal cat fight between Miley and Demi (Yeah, Selena is definitely not a singer. I wish Kevin had sung over top of her)

"The fact that Kevin isn't in the spotlight as much as the others is exactly why I love Kevin."

Agreed. He's just funny guy on the sidelines who gets to stand back and watch all the drama unfold and probably make witty remarks about them.