American Idol Recap: Top 7 Edition

Theme: It was supposed to be Songs from the Movies, but somewhere along the way, 5 of the 7 contestants interpreted this "Sing a Cheesy Powerballad from a Film from the 80's or 90's." Seriously, what the fuck? You could sing any song from any movie- that's over 80 years of music to choose from- and the best you can come up with is not one, but TWO Bryan Adams songs, "Endless Love" and that horribly overplayed song from Armageddon? Jesus Christ.

"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic

Kris Allen "Falling Slowly" Far and away the best performance of the night, if not the season. Not only was the song choice audacious but it was also perfect for his whole musical persona. Needless to say, I've already listened to it 20 times in a row this morning on the way to and from class. A classic in every sense of the word.

Paula Clap
Quite good

Allison Iraheta "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" Terrible, terrible song choice and for that reason alone, I almost knocked her down a level. But, it's Allison, so she actually did quite well with what she chose. I would really love for her to take a chance next week and pick a song that hasn't been done on the show a million times before.

Matt Giraud "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" Another terrible, terrible song choice but it didn't turn out too badly. I really don't understand the trashing he gets every other week, because I think he's consistently good every week and does know to do the rock songs (or, in this case, lite pop songs).

Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet

Adam Lambert "Born to Be Wild" After such dreary and lame song choices, I'm glad that Adam thought outside the box and picked something that pre-dated the Reagan Era. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean it was any good. While I've definitely heard worse from him, this was still a steaming pile of crap.

Anoop "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" Zzzzzzz. I'm beginning to wonder if Randy is confusing "soulful" with "coma-inducing."

"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this

Danny Gokey "Endless Love" Boring even by the eternally dull Danny Gokey's standards. Of course, when he finally gets a negative critique from the judges, they have to bring up his dead wife to ensure that he won't get in the bottom three. Seriously judges, how low can you go?

Lil Rounds "The Rose" Every week, Lil takes on a song by a big diva and every week she gets told that it was a mistake. So what does she do this week? Pick a song by Bette motherfucking Midler. Was she high when she thought that work? Not only did her version not even come with in the same galaxy as Bette's classic version, but it was a messy, overworked, shrieking nightmare. And what the fuck was up with that wig. As I commented to my friend during her performance, "I've seen hookers with better wigs." Please, America, put us out of our misery.