A Look at the 2012 VMAs Best Female Video

Last year, I took a look at what I thought would be potential nominees for Best Female Video at the VMAs. Surprisingly, I did quite well, picking four of the eventual nominees out of the top seven while surprise nominee Beyoncé for "Run the World (Girls)" was highlighted towards the bottom of the list (before the video had even premiered!). The other night I was thinking of that post and decided to try again to come up with what I thought this year's race might look like. Not sure if I can match my predictions last year, but let's give this a shot and see what happens.

The Top 5:

Katy Perry "Part of Me"

4 Noms/0 Wins

In Her Favor: After two years, six #1's and a 3D concert movie, the Teenage Dream Era is coming to an end. Can you think of a more fitting farewell to Katy's immense success than with another nomination here?

But: Nothing. She's in.

Rihanna "We Found Love"

2 Noms/1 Win

In Her Favor: Rihanna manages to pump out hit after hit, but "We Found Love" was her biggest song since "Umbrella." Plus, "We Found Love" is without a doubt her best video to date.

But: Only two nominations? As big of a star as Rihanna should have more.

Kelly Clarkson "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)"

3 Noms/2 Wins

In Her Favor: Sometimes all it takes is a #1 hit like this to remind everyone why we fell in love with Kelly in the first place. Girlfriend already has two wins so they clearly love her.

But: Is she "hip" enough for MTV in these days of Katy Perry and Teen Wolf?

Nicki Minaj "Starships"

1 Nom/0 Wins

In Her Favor: Having just notched its 20th week in the Top 10, the song has proven to have massive staying power.

But: Does anybody remember the video? Like, at all?

Lana Del Rey "National Anthem"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: This is my No Guts, No Glory pick. This line-up is in clear need of a Critical Darling. Although Lana is not quite as huge as Adele, last year's Darling, is, she does have a rabid fanbase who were salivating over her material even before her Born to Die album came out. She seems like a long shot, but every once in awhile this category does embrace lesser-known artists with great, buzzworthy videos.

But: This only happens every once in awhile. As odd as it sounds, she probably has a better shot in the Video of the Year category, which is much more open to artistic videos like "National Anthem."

In the Running:

Lady Gaga "Marry the Night"

4 Noms/2 Wins

In Her Favor: I know I sound crazy for betting against Gaga, considering her rabid fanbase who are only out-crazied by the Beliebers. And this video was everything those fanatics could have possibly wanted from an artiste like Lady Gaga.

But: Come on. For an artist who has made a living off turning everything about her persona into pretentious bullshit, this fourteen minute, ultra serious video exploring the inner torment of Gaga The Person was Pretentious Bullshit.

Carly Rae Jepsen "Call Me Maybe"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: A zeitgeist hit...

But: ...That's only mildly less trashy than Rebecca Black's "Friday." More likely than not, expect her to pop up with One Direction in the Best New Artist category.

Madonna "Give Me All Your Luvin'" OR "Girl Gone Wild"

12 Noms/4 Wins

In Her Favor: In very different ways, these two videos have proven why Madonna is still the undisputed Queen of the Music Video.

But: The Gays have completely turned on her. If they don't care, why will MTV?

Britney Spears "I Wanna Go" OR "Criminal"

5 Noms/1 Win

In Her Favor: "I Wanna Go" and "Criminal" were both far better videos than the previous Femme Fatale singles produced.

But: I read somewhere that "I Wanna Go" debuted on the cutoff date for last year's VMAs. I refuse to believe this as that masterpiece received zero nominations while the mediocre "Till The World Ends" nabbed her a Best Pop Video trophy. And if she couldn't get a Best Female Video nomination with that massive track, I doubt either of these songs has the legs to get her there this year.

Jessie J "Domino"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: For better or worse, her loud, painted on jumpsuits were certainly eye-catching in this video.

But: Despite the fact that this song was a hit in the U.S., I still don't feel like she's that big over here. Do you ever hear people talking about her (well, I mean, despite complaining about her singing/wailing)?

Never Say Never:

Demi Lovato "Give Your Heart a Break"

0 Noms 

In Her Favor: With her upcoming X-Factor gig, people are finally taking notice and trying to make her happen.

But: I don't think it's her moment yet. We'll see where she's at after X-Factor debuts this fall.

Cher Lloyd "Want U Back"

0 Noms 

In Her Favor: Against all odds, it appears that she's crossing over into America.

But: She's only just hit the Top 40 here. And if Carly Rae doesn't make it, Cher certainly won't.

Dev "In the Dark"

0 Noms 

In Her Favor: An ubiquitous singer with her own big hit.

But: The song is nearly a year old; has her Moment passed already?

The Ladies of 2011

Yes, we are officially a month and a half into 2012 now, but there are still Best of 2011 lists to be made. I will not rest until they are all complete. So, let's get started, shall we? I gave you my Imaginary Boyfriends back in January. Now let's look at the women who made 2011 their bitch.

Friday Women: Katy Perry and Rebecca Black

If you were as shocked as I was at how big Katy Perry was in 2010, I bet you were just as shocked when she continued to be huge in 2011. I never would have guessed in a million years that Teenage Dream would not only churn out #1 hit after #1 hit a year after its release but that its 2011 singles would build upon the Katy Perry brand in unexpected and interesting ways. "E.T." was an unexpected fourth single, particularly since the mind-numbingly pedestrian "Peacock" was always a viable single choice, and showed Katy in a more mature light than "I Kissed a Girl" or even "California Gurls" from eight months previously. I wouldn't accuse "Last Friday Night" of being anywhere near as good of a song as "E.T.," but it did manage to have one of the best music videos of the year. Although massive in length, it manages the impressive task of never valuing the narrative over the music. The video is gloriously overstuffed with people dancing, swinging off banisters, puking and rocking out, but still feels like a real party you would want to be invited to.

Perhaps the smartest move for Katy in regards to her "Last Friday Night" video: casting the "other" Friday girl of 2011, Rebecca Black, as her friend/makeover specialist. It's stunt casting, sure, but Rebecca really sells it, looking every bit as unforced and personable as we have come to expect from her since her "debut" earlier in the year. The debut I speak of is, of course, "Friday," the internet sensation that became a full-blown phenomenon over the course of a couple days. The video was so bad, it had to be seen to be believed. And seen again and again and again. I probably watched it 50 times those first few days. It wasn't until much later that I realized I was still watching because of Rebecca herself. Say what you want about her or her voice, the girl has Charisma with a capital C and manages to pull the attention away from the horrible video surrounding her. Move over, Disney sluts: we have a new tween star on the rise.

The Legend & The Future of Pop: Britney Spears and Selena Gomez

When The Legendary Miss Britney Spears releases new music, it's an Event. Femme Fatale, her latest album, was no exception, proving that not only still a force to be reckoned with post-Gaga but that she also had some new tricks up her sleeve (the influence of the hard verse/soft chorus in "Hold It Against Me" could be heard in many songs by the end of the year). But an even bigger cause for celebration is the fact that Britney chose her heir to the pop throne in 2011: former Disney queen Selena Gomez. By giving her one of her songs--the utterly amazing "Whiplash"--Britney has symbolically decided on the future of pop music. And what a future she picked! Selena's 2011 album, When the Sun Goes Down, pushed her past both Demi and Miley as the supreme former Disney pop star. In just a couple of years, she has not only matured her sound but has also found a comfortable niche in the pop kingdom. All that and dating the biggest pop star in the world? Girlfriend really is taking lessons from Britney. And you couldn't ask for a better teacher.

Maids of (Dis)Honor: Kristen Wiig and Pippa Middleton

Both Kristen Wiig's character in Bridesmaids and Pippa Middleton were horrible maids of honor but in completely different ways. I'm sure everyone is well aware of my infatuation with Bridesmaids, so I'll spare you my rambling on how much I love Wiig's portrayal of a maid of honor hilariously battling depression, a shitty job, a new threat to her relationship with her best friend and food poisoning. She reeks havoc everywhere she goes. But even if it's messy, we at least know it will be funny as hell. Pippa, on the other hand, was more subtle with her destruction of the bride's shining moment. As you are all aware, Pippa was the maid of honor at the royal marriage of her sister Kate Middleton and Prince William. Instead of blending in the background like a good maid of honor, however, Pippa stole the spotlight. Every headline the day of the wedding mentioned Pippa and her gorgeous, sleek dress, which was not only white but every bit as pretty as Kate's actual wedding dress. That sneaky bitch! I like to imagine Pippa as the wild child of the Middleton clan, so I truly hope she fulfilled the duties of the maid of honor and slept with best man Prince Harry.

Plus-Sized Girls Have More Fun: Adele and Melissa McCarthy

Who says skinny bitches have all the fun? In 2011, Adele and Melissa McCarthy made headlines and stole shows based on actual talent rather than looks or notoriety. Between them, they racked up three #1 hits, an Emmy, six Grammys, two SAG nominations, an album with global sales of 17 million and an Oscar nomination. Not a bad haul, I must say. And to say their immense success was unexpected is a massive understatement. Who would have guessed in October 2010 that a neo-soul singer would find a sound that manages to appeal both to young, hip kids and older, more conservative listeners? Or that a plus-sized actress playing a crass, vulgar character in a blockbuster gross-out comedy would sneak past more traditional performances (like those of Shailene Woodley or Vanessa Redgrave) and snag an Oscar nomination? If the title of the first 2011 movie I saw proved anything, it's that you should never say never when it comes to unexpected critical and commercial darlings.

Best Music Videos of 2011

J. Lo "Papi"

A lot of people complained about the rampant, obvious product placement in her latest video. Ultimately, though, who cares when it probably paid for a video as fun and carefree as "Papi". The premise is simple yet, in a mere four minutes, plays out like the silly, classic J. Lo romcom we expect from her. And nothing else in 2011 reminded us why we loved J. Lo in the first place quite like the "Papi" video.

Rebecca Black "Friday"

The fact that "Friday" is not a good video in the typical sense is irrelevant. This was the video that had everybody talking in 2011. Who can forget where they were the day they first clicked on the link for this video? I know my life was never the same after witnessing Queen Rebecca decide which seat to take. The video is absolutely ridiculous, yes, but Rebecca injected enough class and charm into the proceedings to make all of the weaker links (the $40 budget, the terrible girl in the car next to Rebecca who can't dance and, oddly enough, looks like my cousin's fiancée) much less noticeable.

Rihanna "S&M"

Normally a non-starter in the music video area, Rihanna gave us two reasons to be hopeful in 2011 that she is finally beginning to understand how important music videos can be for her. The first of these was "S&M," which, with its candy-colored sets and deranged, over-the-top bondage costumes, became the first video of hers that portrayed her having "fun" without sticking her in some dark club with laser lights. This is RiRi at her naughty best.

Frankmusik & Colette Carr "No I.D."

Sure, the Grease homage is a tad overdone, but if you can find me two other popstars this past year who share as much chemistry as Vincent and Colette do in this video, my name isn't Dame James. Besides, did the year in music videos offer up any image nearly as delicious as Vincent, in leather jacket, sunglasses and with slicked-back hair, driving that race car at the end?

Hurts "Sunday"

The Hurts boys recreate the Orpheus myth with heaping helpings of melancholy, bright flashes of color amid a bleak color palette and a fashion sense straight from the pages of Vogue Italia.

Katy Perry "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)"

Unlike nearly any of Lady Gaga's videos this year, Katy Perry's massively stuffed "Last Friday Night" clip works despite its massive length for one reason: the video never feels at odds with the song. The two manage to cohabitate wonderfully, never once sacrificing the completeness of the song just to make the video longer.  Bonus points for including 2011's other Friday girl, Rebecca Black, as the Katy Perry character's fairy godmother of sorts.

Beyoncé "Run the World (Girls)"

Not only did this video make me truly understand "Run the World" as a song, no other song this year managed to have a video that felt so at odds with the flow and rhythm of the song and still have it come out this wonderfully. Beyoncé's dancing is hypnotic, but the long takes and slow editing contrasting with that incessant Diplo beat takes it to a whole other level, making one of the neatest visual tricks of the year.

Rihanna featuring Calvin Harris "We Found Love"

My only complaint with Rihanna's "S&M" video was that there were too many cuts, not allowing us any time to fully see any of the extreme visuals (although, I suppose, there were reasons for that). With "We Found Love," there are, perhaps, just as many cuts, but it works for two reasons. One, it matches the insane, escalating, driving beat of the Calvin Harris production. But, more importantly, it manages to convey the essence of a whirlwind romance, how you are so in love and out of control that everything flashes by you and you have no idea what is going on but you don't care because you are so happy. It's an enviable feeling, which many people expressed on Twitter the day of this video's premiere. But they are missing the grand point of the whole video. Sure, everything was great in the beginning, but by the end of the video, Rihanna grows bored and realizes that all the happiness she once felt for him isn't worth the pain she's feeling at the moment. It's a pessimistic view, sure, but it's conveyed poignantly in this video, without a doubt the finest one she has ever made.

Britney Spears "I Wanna Go"

The most fun Britney has had on a video ever. Spoofing not only herself (Crossroads 2: Cross Harder) and her image (sexed up vixen flirting with all the boys she passes on the street), but the press, who, 5+ years after her meltdown, still won't stop hounding her, this is the video "Piece of Me" should have been.

Robyn "Call Your Girlfriend"

With the music video rebounding in popularity thanks the ease of access on the internet, this leaves artists a lot of room to differentiate themselves and come up with creative ways to sell their product. Unfortunately, very few artists take this path, creating one forgettable video after another. Not content with doing that, Robyn crafted a clever and all-around fascinating video for the final single from her Body Talk trilogy. Armed with herself, a room, a lighting scheme, one shot and a dance routine, Robyn has created one of the finest music videos since Beyoncé's "Single Ladies". It's been more than half a year since the video came out and I still can't get enough of it.

Top 50 Songs of 2011, Part 1

The time has come! The end of the year is approaching so that means the end of the year lists must start. And what better way to kick all that off than with the first installment of my favorite songs of the year? As always, I had a difficult time narrowing my list down and placing them in the proper order, but after moving songs back and forth around the list, I threw in the towel and stopped fiddling with the order. I decided to split this list in two this year because I wanted to write at least a little something about each of the songs and I didn't want the post to become dauntingly enormous. So please do enjoy this list and let me know what you think about my inclusions. And stayed tuned for the Top 20 coming soon!

Honorable Mentions: Demi Lovato "Skyscraper" | Natalia Kills "Free" | One Direction "Gotta Be You" | CocknBullKid "Hold On to Your Misery" | Will Young "Jealousy" | Britney Spears "Hold It Against Me" | Alexandra Stan "Get Back (ASAP)" | Eric Saade featuring J-Son "Hearts in the Air" | Selena Gomez & The Scene "Love You Like a Love Song" | Alexis Jordan "Hush Hush"

50-41

50. Simon Curtis "Superhero"

The moment I first saw Simon Curtis as a legitimate pop star.

49. Leona Lewis & Avicii "Collide"

Not quite the "Outta My Head" dance jam I was expecting, but it's nice to see Leona push herself out of her power ballad comfort zone.

48. Pitbull featuring Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer "Give Me Everything"

Commercial as hell? Yes. But that chorus saves the day. You actually forget Pitbull is on this song!

47. Alesha Dixon featuring Jay Sean "Every Little Part of Me"

Alesha's career is deader than Floptina's at the moment, which is a shame when she's still releasing songs as fresh as this one.

46. Beyoncé "Run the World (Girls)"

My feelings on this song went from "What a piece of shit!" to "Ooooh, the video's interesting. Maybe this song isn't so bad after all" to "Who run the world? Beyoncé."

45. Bingo Players "Cry (Just a Little)"

This song is as barebones as dancehall songs get: a pounding beat and a couple of lyrics from the 80's song "Piano in the Dark" repeated over and over. But its simplicity is what makes it one of the most irresistibly catchy songs of the year.

44. CocknBullKid "Asthma Attack"

The new critical darling of the indie pop world, CocknBullKid burst on the scene the first half of the year. "Hold On to Your Misery" caught my attention first, but "Asthma Attack" is the song that I keep going back to.

43. The Sound of Arrows "Nova"

This sort of synth pop isn't always my thing. But when I think it works, it really works for me. "Nova" is absolutely gorgeous, as close to a hymn as pop music gets.

42. Alexis Jordan "Good Girl"

The moment Alexis Jordan truly arrived. Who knew she would be one of the freshest popstars of the year?

41. David Guetta featuring Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj "Where Them Girls At"

Even with Guetta and Flo Rida at their generic worst, Nicki Minaj classes up the joint with one of her most wicked verses ever. She's so good spitting out lyrics like, "No, no, I don't endorse that/Pause that, abort that!" she elevates the material surrounding her.

40-31

40. Wynter Gordon "Buy My Love"

Last year's "Believer" proved that Wynter had promise. And she makes good on that promise with this ode to becoming a kept woman.

39. Rebecca Black "Friday"

Somewhere in the past nine months this song went from a hilarious joke to heralding the arrival of the next big teen pop star. Whether you think it's a classic or a sign of the apocalypse, Rebecca carries this song with her infectious personality and the ability to sing the silliest lyrics alive ("Tomorrow is Saturday/And Sunday comes afterward") with a straight face.

38. Taio Cruz featuring Kylie Minogue "Higher"

This track is all about Kylie. She elevates this flaccid Taio solo into a sexy, sultry duet.

37. Frankmusik "The Fear Inside"

Vincent first attempt at a more commercial sound. It didn't exactly set the charts ablaze but it did solidify him in my mind as one of the few legitimately great male pop stars we have today.

36. Frankmusik & Colette Carr "No I.D."

In this age of guest rappers and female popstars belting choruses on rap songs, "No I.D." is one of the few legitimate duets around. Vincent & Colette's chemistry is blazing, turning this simple pop track into a repeat worthy jam.

35. Robyn "Call Your Girlfriend"

She still makes the best Dancing Through the Tears pop songs. And the video is to die for!

34. Joe McElderry "Someone Wake Me Up"

La Joe finally found success as Classic Joe this year. An unfortunate situation, it would appear, as this means that Popstar Joe is more or less on permanent hiatus. How sad. Who in the fuck actually prefers him doing opera shit over stuff like "Someone Wake Me Up"?

33. Agnes "Don't Go Breaking My Heart"

Agnes, of the Carlsson variety, thankfully returned to the music world with this in-your-face jam. That opening riff is legendary in its own right.

32. Rhianna featuring Calvin Harris "We Found Love"

I originally fell in love with this song because it showed off Rihanna in a subtly different light, pushing herself away from the hard edge of the Rated R era and the Back to Commercial-ness of the Loud era to something far more DJ/rave friendly. But I stayed interested in this song was because hidden under the insane Harris production, there's a tender, almost mournful love story about falling out of love.

31. Florence + The Machine "Shake It Out"

Florence is an artist I tend to admire more than I actually like, but there's something honest and ever-so-gripping about this power ballad.

30-21

30. Alexandra Stan "Mr. Saxobeat"

It's exactly the type of Eurotrash pop song most people who know nothing about European pop music assume all European pop music is...yet I can't help but be infatuated with "Saxobeat" for the very same reasons it's hated.

29. Katy Perry "E.T."

Outside of the album track "Circle the Drain," this is by far Katy Perry's most adult track. And the fact that she picked it as a single at all over the pandering "Peacock" is further proof of her maturity as both an artist and an icon.

28. Dev "In the Dark"

Dev's limited vocal range works far better in this sexy track than in "Bass Down Low" or in any of her umpteen featuring credits during the year.

27. Foster the People "Pumped Up Kicks"

Have we come across a unicorn with Foster the People: an act both the indie kids and the pop lovers can agree on? I couldn't begin to tell you what this song is about, and it's low key nature would normally annoy the hell out of me, but, like most of what Foster the People does, it just works. Sometimes you just can't explain it.

26. Take That "Love Love"

Who knew that in 2011 not only would I care about Take That post-"Back For Good" but I would also actually really love one of their new songs? The world is tricky like that sometimes.

25. Jessie J "Do It Like a Dude"

Forget about the annoying, wailing twat she has become. For a brief second, Jessie J looked the toughest pop star to come along in ages with this hard-as-nails anthem.

24. Ola "All Over the World"

This Swedish import was released in Ola's homeland back in 2010 but made it's way to the UK this year. It's three and a half minutes of pure, unadulterated joy, aka everything a pop song of this nature should be.

23. Britney Spears "Till The World Ends"

If the upcoming apocalypse in December 2012 is anywhere near as amazing as this song, the world will be ending on a high note.

22. Christina Perri "Jar of Hearts"

One of those tragic, old fashioned ballads that come along every few years and knocks the socks off everyone. Perri's version will no doubt become the standard, but "Jar of Hearts" is so brilliantly written nearly anyone can sing it and sound like they are a legend.

21. The Wanted "Glad You Came"

Every bit as poised as "California Gurls" to be an Easy Summertime Anthem but with a wicked, deviant sense of humor and clever wordplay (thanks in part to co-writer Ed Drewett).

A Look at the VMA's Best Female Video

Confession time: I'm a bit of an awards nerd. Yes, okay, I realize this not a huge surprise coming from me as I follow the Oscar race all year long. But there is a difference between loving the Oscars, which many ordinarily rational people do, and loving the MTV Video Music Awards, which is certifiably insane. The VMAs are completely silly and the winners are often times arbitrary as hell, but I can't help loving them and using them as a guidepost for discovering fascinating videos I never would have known about otherwise. My favorite category is, not surprisingly, Best Female Video, a category which has given Madonna 12 nominations over the years and regularly nominated Britney, Janet, Paula Abdul, Beyoncé and many other fabulous artists. I like this category so much I thought it would be fun to go through some of the big contenders and see how they stack up against each other. It's a completely futile task but, hey, I think it's rather fun to through them.

The Top 5

Lady Gaga

"Born This Way"

2/3 Noms/1 Win

In Her Favor: Have you noticed that Gaga is the biggest popstar on the planet right now? She easily swept last year's VMAs and, judging from the reception the Born This Way singles have gotten, her dominance should continue this year.

But: The video, die hard stans aside, went over like a lead balloon. Will this deter her less emotionally invested fans?

 

Katy Perry

"Firework"

3 Noms/0 Wins

In Her Favor: "Firework" was a monster "It Gets Better" anthem that, months later, is still being used exhaustively in movie trailer after movie trailer. The song has resonated with a lot of people and proved it has staying power. Plus, if she does get her fourth nomination, odds are that she will win; Christina Aguilera is the only artist with four or more nominations and no win.

But: By the time the VMAs actually air, "Firework" will be close to a year old. And will the spectacular "E.T." video siphon any votes?

 

Britney Spears

"Hold It Against Me"

5 Noms/1 Win

In Her Favor: Not only is Britney the undisputed Queen of Pop in Madonna's absence, but "Hold It Against Me" shot straight to the top of the charts when it was released. Britney is at the top of her form.

But: The video wasn't well received, even among her massive supporters

.

 

Rihanna featuring Drake

"What's My Name?"

2 Noms/0 Wins

In Her Favor: Now that her dark, "uncommercial" Rated R era is over, expect the VMAs to embrace her once again. And how else to reward Rihanna's "return" than by honoring her most commercial song since Good Girl Gone Bad.

But: Like "Firework," "What's My Name?" will have been out for nearly a year by the time of the VMAs. Plus, could the much louder "S&M" video make an appearance?

Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull

"On the Floor"

3 Noms/0 Wins

In Her Favor: J. Lo, thanks in part to her new gig on American Idol, has once again reclaimed her throne as America's Sweetheart.

But: Her last nomination was in 2003. As she sings in the beginning of "On the Floor," "it's a new generation." Can this diva still compete with the kiddies?

In the Running:

Nicki Minaj

"Super Bass"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: She the year's hottest artist, crafting her own unique image in the male-dominated rap industry with a fanbase as diverse and strange as she is.

But: Nicki is incredibly famous but it doesn't really feel like she's had her own massive hit to match the hype, does it?

Adele

"Rolling in the Deep"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: Adele's 21 just spent her fifteenth non-consecutive week at #1 in the UK while hitting #1 with both her album and this song here in America. This line-up feels like it is missing a real critical darling/vocal powerhouse.

But: Can't you just imagine 15 year olds giving a collective shrug or, even worse, a "Who?" when someone mentions Adele? Sad but it has been known to happen.

Taylor Swift

"Back to December"

2 Noms/1 Win

In Her Favor: Kanyegate got her a second nomination last year. Do they still feel bad for that incident? "Back to December" is her most recent offering and it's a much more memorable jam than what got her nominated last time ("Fifteen").

But: Not that it truly matters, even though it should, the "Back to December" video is horrendous. Besides, how long can MTV make amends for The Incident before we're all ready to move on?

P!nk

"Raise Your Glass"

1 Nom/1 Win

In Her Favor: Another massive "It Gets Better" anthem. P!nk proved once again that can she still rock out in an era of Ke$has and Katy Perrys.

But: Doesn't it feel like P!nk should have a lot more than one nomination? Maybe they're just not that into her.

Ke$ha

"Blow"

1 Nom/0 Wins

In Her Favor: A wonderful James Van Der Beek cameo made this the first Ke$ha video to truly encapsulate her strange persona in visual form.

But: The song wasn't as big as "We R Who We R" or her other hits from the first album. Will people care enough about this song in a couple months?

Never Say Never:

Beyoncé

"Run the World (Girls)"

5 Noms/2 Wins

In Her Favor: The video hasn't premiered yet, but B is always a threat in this category. She amassed her 5 noms in an eight year span; only Madonna did it quicker.

But: The song FLOPPED. Will a second single materialize before the eligibility field is closed?

Jessie J featuring B.O.B.

"Price Tag"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: She'd be the critical darling of the category.

But: Who? Was "Price Tag" big enough to earn her a spot with such megastars as Gaga and Britney?

Keri Hilson

"Pretty Girl Rock"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: The category is severely lacking in some R&B divas.

But: "Pretty Girl Rock" hasn't exactly been burning up the charts, has it? And if she couldn't get in for "Knock You Down," chances are she won't for this.

Selena Gomez & The Scene

"Who Says"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: While Miley has gone and pissed on the pop community, Selena has embraced it. Britney is contributing to her next album.

But: "Who Says" isn't a major hit. There are still a lot of people who don't know her at all or just know her as Justin Bieber's girlfriend.

Katy's Voice Makes 'Em Go "Uh, Uh, Ew"

For a lot of people, the PS 22 choir that closed this year's Oscar ceremony with a "rousing" and "inspirational" performance of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' was one of the show's highlights. I'm immune to this sort of corny, cheeseball fluff so I thought it was a grand waste of time, but that's just me. Anyways, Oprah did her annual after Oscar special live from the Kodak Theatre and to close her own show, she brought back the PS 22 choir to sing another inspirational song. I was watching the show with my mother and both of us were only vaguely paying attention until I heard the now infamous opening lyric "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?" Yes, the PS 22 choir was singing Katy Perry's 'Firework' and I was about ready to bust out laughing. What an incredibly odd choice, especially for Oprah's extra special Oscar episode, but it's kinda fun, too.

Anyways, the choir is doing a fine job, singing their precious little hearts out. All of a sudden, this loud, completely off pitch shriek comes out of nowhere. My mom and I look at each other and we both say, "Who on Earth decided to mike the one choir member who can't sing for shit?" We were completely puzzled by this bad sonic decision when the curtain suddenly rises just in time for the first chorus and who should appear but...

Katy Perry

Listen, I've grown to appreciate Katy Perry in the past year--mainly because of this incident--and absolutely LOVE some of the tracks on her Teenage Dream album but girlfriend cannot sing live, especially a song like 'Firework' which calls for big high notes. She tries really hard but Katy absolutely needs an army of backup singers to drown out the horrible shrieking that her live voice produces. Katy is great in the studio and has a great pop persona but she seriously needs to take the Britney route and start lip syncing.

Here's the full video so you can witness the hilarity:

A Few Thoughts on a Few 2011 Singles

I was listening to my playlist of 2011 singles and I had a couple of thoughts concerning some of them. Here they are in no particular order.

>>Katy Perry has been really smart with her single choices from Teenage Dream. Aside from the lead single, 'California Gurls', Katy has but released three surprisingly adult choices in a row: the title track, 'Firework' and now 'E.T.' What makes this even more incredible is that she two surefire hits in the making on her album--'Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)' and 'Peacock'--that could easily be Top 5 hits with very little work. They are both generic and audience-pandering pop tracks that any mediocre popstar could have pooped out but Katy, surprisingly, went for the less obvious choices. I mean, who would have guessed when 'I Kissed a Girl' or 'Hot N Cold' came out that she would even record an anthemic, 'Beautiful'-esque song like 'Firework,' much less release it as a single and get it to #1. 'E.T.' is even more of anomaly as its a dark, rather melancholic (well, as dark and melancholic as Katy Perry can get) track a good deal more adult than 95% of her output. The song is more proof that when she really tries and cares, Katy can be a really great popstar.

>>'Hold It Against Me' is, strangely enough, a grower. I have liked Brit's comeback single since the minute I first heard it, but I haven't been passionate about it like I have many of her other lead singles. Over the past month or so, however, I've slowly liked it more and more to the point where I'm now madly in love with the song. What I think took me so long is the fact that 'Hold It Against Me' is subtly different from the rest of her work. To a casual observer not intimate with Brit's work, it's auto-tuned business as usual. But to an obsessive like myself, 'Hold It Against Me' is quite different from her most recent lead singles. There's no massive hook and no repetitive chorus. In fact, the chorus is actually the softest, prettiest part of the song while the middle 8 is where the song really shines. The song changes gears and tempos about four different times but that's what I love about it. 'Hold It Against Me' is Brit playing against our expectations about what a lead single of hers sounds like and I think it's a clever, bold move for the legendary Miss Britney Spears.

>>Who is Jessie J? Yes, I know who she is but I have no clue who she is as an artist. I didn't particularly care for 'Do It Like a Dude' when I first heard it but, like 'Hold It Against Me,' it has grown on me considerably in the past month or so (even if it's not as good as Ciara's ultimate equal-rights-between-the-sexes anthem 'Like a Boy'). The song is loud, in-your-face and aggressive as hell, which coheres with the rough and tumble persona Jessie J has created for herself. With that angry bob haircut and tattoos all up and down her body, she's the kind of chick I would totally expect to stand up to domineering men and let them know she can do what they do just as well as them. But now her second single, 'Price Tag', has come out and already hit #1 in the UK and I'm more confused than ever as to what kind of artist she is. The song is another one of those "people are so superficial and only care about fame and expensive things" that we get every year from pretentious a-holes who think they're so clever and witty with their bashing of the rich and the vapid. We get it, rich people have no souls. Can we move on already? Unfortunately, Jessie J goes down this road once again and the result is atrocious. 'Price Tag' features B.o.B. but the message is so earnest and "insightful" I'm really shocked Travie McCoy didn't reprise a verse of 'Billionaire' on it. I'm really hoping 'Price Tag' is just a one-off and the album is full of more 'Do It Like a Dude''s, otherwise it's going to be a nightmare to sit through.

>>I feel like 2011 will finally be the year of Vincent Frank, aka Frankmusik. I have been in love with him since I first heard '3 Little Words' and a few other underground releases, but his truly dire debut album sent his career two steps backwards. He's had a year to get back on track and now, with the help of Cherrytree Records, the same label that has made Robyn and Far East Movement massive successes, Frankmusik is ready to take over America. 'The Fear Inside' dropped very late last year to small, if very positive, fanfare and he has been steadily releasing free tracks--some of which are very, very good--to build hype for the upcoming album. Perhaps most importantly, he has made the rounds on the late night TV circuit, performing the chorus to Far East Movement's 'Rocketeer' in the absence of original singer Ryan Tedder. Maybe I'm just prejudiced, but I think he does a far better job than Tedder. If only this could have been his proper introduction to the American public. Then again, I feel like he will make it with his own material.

>>Sometimes I have no clue what goes through record labels' heads when they make the idiotic decisions that they do. Take, for example, Taio Cruz's 'Higher' and the differences between the original and U.S. versions. In the original version, the song is a duet with pop goddess Kylie Minogue. The song isn't exactly revolutionary but it's surprisingly catchy and Kylie & Taio have great chemistry. I'm not surprised that, for the U.S. release, the label decided to tack on a needless rap from none other than Travie McCoy. Taio isn't exactly an established star here yet and Kylie, no matter what the rest of the world says, hasn't had a hit in the U.S. since, arguably, 'Love at First Sight'. But what I'm flabbergasted by is the fact they completely dropped Kylie Minogue from the U.S. version and simply had Taio record all of her vocals. This was a stupid decision for two reasons: (1) the song functions best as a duet so as a Taio solo, something is missing and (2) why on Earth would you replace Kylie in the first place? It's not as if she's some complete unknown or that the Travie McCoy verse completely replaces her. The song would have functioned just fine if they had left Kylie in it. Then again, what do I know about making hit records in America. This is the same country that gave two #1's in a row to a cokehead.

Top 50 Songs of 2010

2010 has been officially over for about 12 hours, so let's take a quick look back at the hottest singles of the past year.

Not Eligible: Only actual singles are considered for this list. This means that songs such as Rihanna's 'Man Down' and 'Fading,' Robyn's 'U Should Know Better,' Joe McElderry's 'If You Love Me' and Cheryl Cole's 'Waiting,' which otherwise would have made the list, are disqualified. Also, my eligibility dates run from December of '09 to November of '10. This is only because sometimes it takes me awhile to warm up to a song and I feel like it's unfair that a song 2 weeks old should compete with one I've had 4 months to spend pondering. So, this rule disqualifies Joe McElderry's 'Someone Wake Me Up' and Frankmusik's 'The Fear Inside,' both of which should make a strong showing on next year's list.

10 Runner-ups: Alexandra Burke 'The Silence' | Alex Gaudino 'I'm In Love (I Wanna Do It)' | Drake 'Find Your Love' | David Archuleta 'Something 'Bout Love' | Alphabeat 'Heat Wave' | Rihanna 'Rude Boy' | Kate Nash 'Do-Wah-Doo' | Marina & The Diamonds 'Shampain' | Kelis 'Scream' | Alex Gardner 'I'm Not Mad'

50. Sophie Ellis-Bextor 'Bittersweet'
49. Rihanna 'Only Girl (In the World)'
48. Cee-Lo Green 'Fuck You'
47. Kelis 'Acapella'
46. Kelly Rowland 'Commander'
45. Ed Drewett 'Champagne Lemonade'
44. Nelly 'Just a Dream'
Nelly hasn't been relevant in ages, but he made a big comeback with this unexpected slow jam much in the vein of his earlier 'Over and Over.'
43. Diana Vickers 'My Wicked Heart'
Vickers at her most stylized. Amazing stuff if you can get past it.
42. 3OH!3 featuring Katy Perry 'Starstrukk'
41. Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris 'Baby'
Silly fluff, but done in such a way that it actually kinda becomes sweet. A nice flashback to the days of junior high relationships.

40. Kris Allen 'Alright With Me'
39. Rihanna 'Rockstar 101'
38. Janelle Monáe featuring Big Boi 'Tightrope'
37. Katy B 'Katy on a Mission'
I'm not exactly sure what Katy B is singing about, but this song just feels right nonetheless. And it's surprisingly catchy!
36. The Hoosiers 'Choices'
35. Grum 'Can't Shake This Feeling'
34. Ke$ha 'Your Love Is My Drug'
33. Freemasons featuring Wynter Gordon 'Believer'
A bit of a late entrant to this list. I only just discovered this song's brilliance about a month ago and I haven't been able to stop listening since. Wynter Gordon is a true talent on the rise.
32. Lady GaGa 'Alejandro'
31. Marina & the Diamonds 'Oh No!'

30. Darin 'Lovekiller'
29. Selena Gomez & The Scene 'Naturally'
28. The Pretty Reckless 'Make Me Wanna Die'
Taylor Momsen becomes the second Gossip Girl star with a promising music career. Who'd have guessed that back in 2007?
27. Sky Ferreira 'One'
26. Sabrina Washington 'OMG'
Obviously, the better of the two singles titled 'OMG' this year. Now if only people would actually listen to this one.
25. Hurts 'Wonderful Life'
24. Lady GaGa featuring Beyoncé 'Telephone'
23. Miley Cyrus 'Can't Be Tamed'
22. Leighton Meester 'Your Love's a Drug'
21. Mark Ronson & The Business Int'l featuring Q-Tip and MNDR 'Bang Bang Bang'

20. Nicki Minaj 'Your Love'
Ingenious sample, brilliant rap, heartbreaking finale. The moment Nicki Minaj really clicked for me.
19. Gabriella Cilmi 'Hearts Don't Lie'
18. Justin Bieber 'Somebody to Love'
17. Joe McElderry 'Ambitions'
16. Alexandra Burke 'Start Without You'
15. Selena Gomez & The Scene 'A Year Without Rain'
Selena (& The Scene) risks alienating the Disney crowd with this sensual song of romantic longing. The lyrics make it sound like kids' stuff, but her delivery makes 'A Year Without Rain' one of the most tender love songs of the year.
14. Alexandra Burke featuring Pitbull 'All Night Long'
Alexandra Gurl takes it to the club with this massive, trance-inducing pop song.
13. Alphabeat 'DJ (I Could Be Dancing)'
12. Diana Vickers 'Once'
11. The Saturdays 'Higher'
Welcome back, girls! After the awfulness that was their Wordshaker album, The Saturdays returned to their former glory with this infectious jam.

10. Miley Cyrus 'Who Owns My Heart'

After flirting with the Top 10 in both 2008's and 2009's year end list, Miley finally snuck in this year with her most mature single to date. 'Who Owns My Heart' unfortunately went nowhere on the charts, but it's proof that if Miley continues down the pop music path, she has a bright future ahead of her.

09. Katy Perry 'Teenage Dream'

Speaking of maturity, Katy Perry, the one-time singer of such immature dreck as 'Ur So Gay' and 'I Kissed a Girl,' grew up before our eyes with this ode to young love. Perry's fragile upper register adds a touch of beauty and tenderness that I think many covers of the song (including the Darren Criss one, although I believe it's brilliant in its own way) truly lack.

08. Rihanna featuring Jeezy 'Hard'

This is still the most brilliant dissection of a Rihanna song I've ever read and made me see 'Hard' in a whole new light. I've really grown to appreciate Rihanna's follow-up Loud in the past month, but I don't think anything will ever top her Rated R reign.

07. Darin 'You're Out of My Life'

Surprising, touching, tender, sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs worthy yet haunting and dark, Darin's Eurovision hopeful revealed that he is the next major pop artist to incorporate violence and death into his usual music.

06. Kylie Minogue 'Get Outta My Way'

Aphrodite was a disappointment, but 'Get Outta My Way' showed Kylie at her feisty, fearless, Girl Power best.

05. Robyn 'Dancing on My Own'
Robyn at her best, dancing through the heartbreak.

04. Selena Gomez & The Scene 'Round & Round'

This past July, I had a rough weekend. Some guy I was into was blatantly ignoring me and my roommates were gone for the weekend and had left a sink full of nasty dishes that could not wait until they came back to be washed. So I trudged upstairs, already in a pissy mood and turned on this song, which I had just downloaded, while I started washing the dishes. 'Round & Round' was on repeat and about 10 minutes in, I was just shouting the damn lyrics, eager to get rid of all my negative feelings. Selena (& The Scene) definitely helped me get through that rough night with this clever gem of a song.

03. M.I.A. 'XXXO'

Aside from 'Born Free,' the lone standout from M.I.A.'s horrid mess of an album was this song, her most commercial sounding to date. 'XXXO' is brilliant in its dissection of how pop culture wants celebrities to be pigeonholed into certain "types" and in its ability to be catchy at the same time. Bonus points for including a lyric about Quentin Tarantino.

02. Janelle Monáe 'Cold War'

'Tightrope' was Monáe's breakthrough, but 'Cold War' was the song I came to realize over time was the even more brilliant of the two. I have a hard time describing why I love this song so much. Something about it, whether it's the lyrics, the music or Monáe's vocals, connects with me on a deeper level than a vast majority of songs I've ever heard. Her album was a bit hit or miss for me, even though I appreciate what she was going for, but if she keeps on cranking out songs like this one, Monáe will continue to be on my good side.

01. Gabriella Cilmi 'On a Mission'

From the moment I first heard Cilmi's battle axe of a single very early this year, I knew that it would be one I wouldn't soon forget. But who would have guessed that 'On a Mission' would have hung on to the top spot, without any real competition, for the entire year? I sure didn't. But that goes to show you just how powerful and memorable of a song 'On a Mission' is. It became my battle cry during certain moments of the year, making me feel empowered when other media just wasn't cutting it. And during other times of the year, I was simply amazed by the lyrics ("I never miss a trick just like a magician"), Cilmi's delivery, the out-of-this-world beat and that brilliant Middle fucking 8 which contains as much brilliance in 20 seconds that many entire albums couldn't manage this year. A true "moment" for pop music and a song that I hope many will discover (or re-discover) in the future.