A Look at the 2012 VMAs Best Female Video

Last year, I took a look at what I thought would be potential nominees for Best Female Video at the VMAs. Surprisingly, I did quite well, picking four of the eventual nominees out of the top seven while surprise nominee Beyoncé for "Run the World (Girls)" was highlighted towards the bottom of the list (before the video had even premiered!). The other night I was thinking of that post and decided to try again to come up with what I thought this year's race might look like. Not sure if I can match my predictions last year, but let's give this a shot and see what happens.

The Top 5:

Katy Perry "Part of Me"

4 Noms/0 Wins

In Her Favor: After two years, six #1's and a 3D concert movie, the Teenage Dream Era is coming to an end. Can you think of a more fitting farewell to Katy's immense success than with another nomination here?

But: Nothing. She's in.

Rihanna "We Found Love"

2 Noms/1 Win

In Her Favor: Rihanna manages to pump out hit after hit, but "We Found Love" was her biggest song since "Umbrella." Plus, "We Found Love" is without a doubt her best video to date.

But: Only two nominations? As big of a star as Rihanna should have more.

Kelly Clarkson "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)"

3 Noms/2 Wins

In Her Favor: Sometimes all it takes is a #1 hit like this to remind everyone why we fell in love with Kelly in the first place. Girlfriend already has two wins so they clearly love her.

But: Is she "hip" enough for MTV in these days of Katy Perry and Teen Wolf?

Nicki Minaj "Starships"

1 Nom/0 Wins

In Her Favor: Having just notched its 20th week in the Top 10, the song has proven to have massive staying power.

But: Does anybody remember the video? Like, at all?

Lana Del Rey "National Anthem"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: This is my No Guts, No Glory pick. This line-up is in clear need of a Critical Darling. Although Lana is not quite as huge as Adele, last year's Darling, is, she does have a rabid fanbase who were salivating over her material even before her Born to Die album came out. She seems like a long shot, but every once in awhile this category does embrace lesser-known artists with great, buzzworthy videos.

But: This only happens every once in awhile. As odd as it sounds, she probably has a better shot in the Video of the Year category, which is much more open to artistic videos like "National Anthem."

In the Running:

Lady Gaga "Marry the Night"

4 Noms/2 Wins

In Her Favor: I know I sound crazy for betting against Gaga, considering her rabid fanbase who are only out-crazied by the Beliebers. And this video was everything those fanatics could have possibly wanted from an artiste like Lady Gaga.

But: Come on. For an artist who has made a living off turning everything about her persona into pretentious bullshit, this fourteen minute, ultra serious video exploring the inner torment of Gaga The Person was Pretentious Bullshit.

Carly Rae Jepsen "Call Me Maybe"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: A zeitgeist hit...

But: ...That's only mildly less trashy than Rebecca Black's "Friday." More likely than not, expect her to pop up with One Direction in the Best New Artist category.

Madonna "Give Me All Your Luvin'" OR "Girl Gone Wild"

12 Noms/4 Wins

In Her Favor: In very different ways, these two videos have proven why Madonna is still the undisputed Queen of the Music Video.

But: The Gays have completely turned on her. If they don't care, why will MTV?

Britney Spears "I Wanna Go" OR "Criminal"

5 Noms/1 Win

In Her Favor: "I Wanna Go" and "Criminal" were both far better videos than the previous Femme Fatale singles produced.

But: I read somewhere that "I Wanna Go" debuted on the cutoff date for last year's VMAs. I refuse to believe this as that masterpiece received zero nominations while the mediocre "Till The World Ends" nabbed her a Best Pop Video trophy. And if she couldn't get a Best Female Video nomination with that massive track, I doubt either of these songs has the legs to get her there this year.

Jessie J "Domino"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: For better or worse, her loud, painted on jumpsuits were certainly eye-catching in this video.

But: Despite the fact that this song was a hit in the U.S., I still don't feel like she's that big over here. Do you ever hear people talking about her (well, I mean, despite complaining about her singing/wailing)?

Never Say Never:

Demi Lovato "Give Your Heart a Break"

0 Noms 

In Her Favor: With her upcoming X-Factor gig, people are finally taking notice and trying to make her happen.

But: I don't think it's her moment yet. We'll see where she's at after X-Factor debuts this fall.

Cher Lloyd "Want U Back"

0 Noms 

In Her Favor: Against all odds, it appears that she's crossing over into America.

But: She's only just hit the Top 40 here. And if Carly Rae doesn't make it, Cher certainly won't.

Dev "In the Dark"

0 Noms 

In Her Favor: An ubiquitous singer with her own big hit.

But: The song is nearly a year old; has her Moment passed already?

Half-Way Report for 2012

Best Film

01. The Cabin in the Woods (Drew Goddard)

This movie was so fucked up on so many levels, I have no idea where to even begin. The film balances dark humor and horror as well as Scream, albeit in a less self-referential way. But the real kicker is that finale which throws everything at the wall. It probably shouldn't work so well, but I found myself endlessly fascinated (and simultaneously horrified) by the spectacle.

02. The Hunger Games (Gary Ross)

03. 21 Jump Street (Phil Lord & Chris Miller)

Best Performance

01. Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games

Like Crazy is the film that turned me into a J. Law fan. The Hunger Games is what turned that love into an obsession. We all knew she could do tough, extremely focused characters--a prerequisite for Katniss Everdeen that no other young actress in Hollywood can even come close to matching Lawrence in--but The Hunger Games shows different facets of J. Law's personality that we've really only seen from her on the promotion trail. In a few moments, usually opposite Josh Hutcherson (also perfectly cast: a kid actor playing an eager-to-please contestant who knows how to get people to like him), she showed a charm and comic timing usually only seen from her on talk shows. And the flaming dress she wears while riding into the Capitol matches the fire bomb sexpot we saw at the 2010 Oscars when she wore that va-va-va voom red Baywatch dress. If we hadn't already seen it before, The Hunger Games proves that Jennifer Lawrence is the already the best actress of her generation.

02. Channing Tatum, 21 Jump Street

03. Armie Hammer, Mirror Mirror

Best Rental

01. History is Made at Night (Frank Borzage)

Married to a neurotic, possessive millionaire, Jean Arthur flees and falls in love with a charming Charles Boyer. Borzage, a well-kept secret of the studio era, keeps what could have been a farfetched, hand-ringing melodrama subtle and low-key, while Arthur, best known today for her Capra comedies, proves that she was as versatile an actress as any of her more well regarded contemporaries.

02. Metropolitan (Whit Stillman)

03. Possession (Andrzej Zulawski)

04. When Harry Met Sally... (Rob Reiner)

05. Sadie Thompson (Raoul Walsh)

Best Song

01. Lana Del Rey "Off to the Races"

Any initial skepticism I had about Ms. Del Rey was quickly erased after hearing this song. Lush, incredibly rich, and emotionally devastating, "Off to the Races" is five minutes of beautiful catharsis.

02. Nicki Minaj "Starships"

03. Dragonette "Let It Go"

04. Demi Lovato "Give Your Heart a Break"

05. Avicii "Levels"

Best Album

01. Justin Bieber, Believe

The teen sensation wisely matures while keeping an eye on the young fans who got him where he is. Easily the best teen pop album since Miley's Can't Be Tamed (and a perfect counterpoint on how to grow up from your teenage fandom without completely alienating them at the same time).

 

02. Madonna, MDNA

03. Kris Allen, Thank You Camellia

04. Lana Del Rey, Born to Die

05. fun., Some Nights

Best Music Video

01. One Direction "One Thing"

With music video budgets, especially those of young, up-and-coming artists, continuously getting slashed, artists have to be creative with the little money they have. None of One Direction's video have been what you'd call "big budget," but with "One Thing," they have finally found the perfect outlet to display their massive personalities. Punctuated with tiny, adorable moments (the choreographed "dance", Zayn's adorable head bob behind Louis), the "One Thing" video succinctly shows the One Direction boys as the adorable, ridiculous fellas we know them as.

02. Carly Rae Jepsen "Call Me Maybe"

03. Foster the People "Color on the Walls (Don't Stop)"

04. Madonna "Girl Gone Wild"

05. Madonna featuring M.I.A. & Nicki Minaj "Give Me All Your Luvin'"

Hottest (New) Guys

01. The Teen Wolf Boys

There's a reason "Have sex with all of the Teen Wolf boys" is number three on my bucket list.

02. Drake

03. Cody Rhodes

04. Jeremy Irvine

05. Clint Mauro

15 Albums

Over on my Facebook page, I was tagged in a new meme asking for "fifteen albums you've heard that will always stick with you." I completed the challenge on Facebook, but I thought I should take some time and explain my reasoning behind my choices. These are not necessarily what I believe to be the "best" albums of all time; rather, each of them has some sort of personal significance in my life, whether they remind me of someone or a particular moment in my life or simply have come to define me as a person.

Paula Abdul Forever Your Girl

As I've stated multiple times before, Paula Abdul was the first music artist I ever loved. I remember being in kindergarten, on the way to school and getting excited whenever 'Straight Up' came on the radio. My first exposure to the entire album came from perhaps the strangest of circumstances: my mother's co-worker's daughter had the album on cassette and let us borrow the now five-year-old album so we could copy it onto our own blank cassette. Yes, I was illegally downloading music before illegally downloading music was cool. Since it was the only album I owned for quite a few years, I played the shit out of it whenever I could. To this day, I still get a rush of nostalgia whenever I hear 'Cold Hearted' or 'The Way That You Love Me' on my iTunes. Because of this album, Paula is forever my girl.

Spice Girls Spice

To be honest, I can't exactly remember where or how I first heard about the Spice Girls. At the time, my favorite radio station was my mother's 70's/80's/90's station that wasn't exactly hip when it came to new music. All I know is that when I fell for Emma, Victoria, Geri and the Mels, I fell for them HARD and there was no turning back. Spice was my go-to album for a long, long time and I still stand by it as a legitimate pop classic and not the teeny bopper shit many accuse it of being.

Spice Girls Spice World

Almost as soon as I was addicted to Spice, the Girls' follow up album was released in America. I believe I got it for my birthday a few months after, but I loved it as much, if not more, than Spice. I listened to that album so damn much, particularly 'Stop,' my favorite song they've ever done, it has the distinction of being the first cassette I broke. One day, the tape inside the cassette just went haywire and spooled out. It was a sad day for me (probably not my parents who I'm sure were sick of the damn thing) but at least I had my memories with the album.

Mariah, Gloria, Shania, Aretha & Celine Divas Live '98

Along with NSYNC's debut album, this was the first album I ever got on CD. I can't remember if I watched the live special when it aired, but I'm guessing my parents bought it for me because I was fucking obsessed with Mariah and both Celine and Gloria were two of my favorite singers at the time. Good instincts on their part as I simply couldn't get enough of this album. Not only was it packed full of amazing divas, foreshadowing both my homosexuality and my immense love of over-the-top personalities, but I also loved the banter and spoken intros between each of the songs. I'm sure if I listened to the album right now I could mime accurately to about 80% of it.

Britney Spears ...Baby One More Time

Back when Brit actually attempted to sing, I thought she had one of the best voices I had ever heard. I had a lot to learn about music, apparently, but it's easy to see why this woman and this album meant so much to me during a time when my one true love, the Spice Girls, were splitting up. Her carefree dance-pop was just what this 11 year-old needed to get pumped for another grueling day of elementary school. Trust me, I have a handful of dance routines I choreographed in my free time before I had to catch the bus. My father must be proud.

Madonna The Immaculate Collection

I knew and liked Madonna through songs like 'Holiday' and 'Into the Groove,' but it wasn't until I checked out this album from my library that I became a superfan. This album has become so ingrained in me, I find it hard to dig into the rest of her discography; everytime I try one of her old albums, I instantly grow restless and want to listen to these wonderful singles all over again.

Janet Jackson Control

I think Janet Jackson obsession started with Design of a Decade, but Control will always be the album I'll think of when I think of her.

Various Artists Music from the Motion Picture "Chicago"

When I saw Chicago on DVD, I liked the movie but I wasn't as crazy about it as I am. It wasn't until the school play my sophomore year of high school when my castmates would sing the songs from this soundtrack over and over again when I became obsessed with it. I actually owned the soundtrack before I ever bought the film, so by the time I saw the movie again, I knew every damn word of the soundtrack.

Kelly Clarkson Breakaway

My God, I don't know if kids these days understand just how huge this album was back in the day. You couldn't spend an hour listening to the radio without either 'Since U Been Gone,' 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' or 'Because of You' coming on. People I knew who weren't fans of pop music were obsessed with Kelly and this album. And, most of all, I just love Kelly. She's the reason my obsession with American Idol lasted for as long as it did.

Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols

I'm not exactly sure what exactly I watched or read that convinced me that I needed to give Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols a listen, but I'm eternally grateful for inspiring something in me to take a chance on something way out of my music comfort zone. The first few times I listened to the album, I was unimpressed and quietly ignored it for awhile. Then, something happened and I decided to give it another listen. It was like I was listening to a brand new album. The Sex Pistols are one of the few punk bands I've encountered (in my very, very limited experience) who didn't sacrifice melody for hardness, vocal quality for loudness. This is quite literally the one anomaly in my iTunes, as evidenced by the fact that they are wedged between Selena Gomez & the Scene and Shakira.

Various Artists Music from the Motion Picture "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut"

I was a late bloomer to discovering the genius of South Park. Up until my junior year of high school, I thought it was nothing but television made for immature people who loved endless fart and shit jokes. But then my friend lent me South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut and I immediately changed my tune. This was some smart shit made by people who knew what the fuck they were talking about. And the smartest thing about the movie has to be the soundtrack, which manages to be both a parody of the typical movie musical and insightful social commentary. Plus, any soundtrack that has a song with a lyric that goes, "Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka!" can't be all bad, can it?

ABBA Gold

I have always known about ABBA and even knew a handful of their songs courtesy of The A*Teens, but it wasn't until my last couple years of high school when I actually realized just how kickass they were. It all started with an innocent car trip with my friend and her grandparents. Her grandmother is a huge ABBA fan and had Gold playing the CD player. My friend and I were bored so we started making dumb choreography to the songs. This continued through many songs until her grandmother, never one to not let her annoyance and opinion be heard, yelled at us, "Shut. Up. Back. There." I had so much jammin' to the songs that I asked my friend to burn me a copy and the rest, as they say, is history.

Justin Timberlake FutureSex/LoveSounds

JT's FutureSex/LoveSounds had the fortunate distinction of coming out right as I was settling into my freshman year of college. The album really has nothing to do with all the changes I was going through at the time, but it's the one that's most deeply associated with that period of my life.

Britney Spears Blackout

I was pumped for the Britney comeback ever since she divorced Kevin Federline in 2006. When the album finally came around in late 2007, I was ridiculously excited for what was being called Britney's best album yet. On the day of its release, I was like a meth addict waiting impatiently for my next hit. I didn't have a car at that point so I asked my friend who lived down the hall if she would take me to buy it. She agreed and by the time we left, another younger girl I only slightly knew had joined us. We went to the first store and I ran like a madman to the music section only to discover that it was sold out. I was upset, but my friend who drove started yelling at the guy working in the electronics department like it was his fault. We ended up going to two more stores, coming out both times empty-handed, and I was more crazed with each rejection. I looked like a madman in front of the new girl, but I didn't care; I wanted Britney, damnit (in case you're wondering, the girl who accompanied us became a very good friend whom I lived with until a couple weeks ago).

Girls Aloud Out of Control

By the time the release date for Girls Aloud's Out of Control rolled by, I was already a devotee of the Way of the Aloud. I started after the release of Tangled Up and it quickly grew over the following months. Out of Control was the first Girls Aloud album where I could join in on the pre-release ritual for any of my favorite acts. When 'The Promise' came out, I listened to that song at least 30 times the day I first got it. There was no turning back after that. I should also let the record show that Out of Control is still my favorite Girls Aloud album ever.

Best Actress Playlist

A couple of weeks ago, I randomly noticed that in my iTunes I had three songs whose titles corresponded to the titles of three of Bette Davis' Oscar nominations. I thought this was a funny coincidence so I tried to see if I could come up with any others. I didn't--you try finding a song called Mr. Skeffington!--but it got me thinking about what other Best Actress-titled songs I could find in my iTunes. Here's what I came up with, in order of the Oscar nomination:

Ann Harding, Holiday

'Holiday' by Green Day
'Holiday' by Madonna

Bette Davis, Dangerous

'Dangerous' by Monrose

Norma Shearer, Romeo & Juliet

'Romeo and Juliet' by The Killers

Bette Davis, Jezebel

'Jezebel' by Chely Wright

Irene Dunne, Love Affair

'Was it Just Another Love Affair?' by The Eurythmics

Bette Davis, The Letter

'The Letter' by Michael Johns and Carly Smithson

Susan Hayward, My Foolish Heart

'My Foolish Heart' by Paula Abdul

Katharine Hepburn, Summertime

'Summertime' by Fantasia Barrino

Faye Dunaway, Bonnie and Clyde

'03 Bonnie & Clyde' by Jay-Z and Beyoncé

Ali MacGraw, Love Story

'Love Story' by Taylor Swift

Liza Minnelli, Cabaret

'Cabaret' by Liza Minnelli

Barbra Streisand, The Way We Were

'The Way We Were' by Barbra Streisand

Bette Midler, The Rose

'The Rose' by Bette Midler

Gena Rowlands, Gloria

'Gloria' by Laura Branigan

Sissy Spacek, Missing

'Missing' by Everything But the Girl

Jessica Lange, Sweet Dreams

'Sweet Dreams' by Beyoncé
'Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)' by The Eurythmics

Jessica Lange, The Music Box

'Music Box Dancer' by Frank Mills

Kathy Bates, Misery

'Misery' by P!nk and Steven Tyler

Angela Bassett, What's Love Got to Do With It?

'What's Love Got to Do With It' by Tina Turner

Elisabeth Shue, Leaving Las Vegas

'Leaving Las Vegas' by Sheryl Crow

Juliette Binoche, Chocolat

'Chocolate' by Kylie Minogue

Judi Dench, Iris

'Iris' by The Goo Goo Dolls

Diane Lane, Unfaithful

'Unfaithful' by Rihanna

Charlize Theron, Monster

'Monster' by Lady GaGa

Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line

'I Walk the Line' by Johnny Cash

And, in case you're missing any and want to complete this amazing playlist, click on this link and you can download them.

I know this playlist is hardly exhaustive, so does anyone have any suggestions? There's a song from the 80's called 'Suddenly, Last Summer' but I wasn't able to find it online. And there has to be songs called 'Queen,' 'Blue Sky' and 'A Man and a Woman,' but I haven't come across them. I'm hoping some of my more music savvy peeps can help out in that regard. Bonus points to anyone who can find a song called 'The Story of Adèle H.'