Top 50 Songs of 2012

It's that time of the year again! Great year for pop music, a lot of interesting new artists this year, etc. I know you're eager to get to the list. Just a couple of quick notes:

1. This year, I decided to expand my list to include album tracks, remixes and other assorted "releases" in addition to singles. The best song last year, Selena Gomez & The Scene's "My Dilemma," wasn't eligible because it wasn't released as a single, so I decided that I needed to make a change. Why screw over something amazing just become some idiot at the record label is too dumb to release it?
2. One Direction "What Makes You Beautiful" and The Wanted "Glad You Came," both of which were big hits here in the States this year, are ineligible because they were already featured on my Best of 2011 list.
3. My eligibility cut-off is the beginning of December, so all the songs from Ke$ha's Warrior album (except "Die Young") and Swedish House Mafia "Don't You Worry Child" will have to wait until next year's list.

Enjoy!

Almost Made It: Drake featuring Lil' Wayne "HYFR (Hell Ya Fucking Right)" | Alphabeat "Love Sea" | Aiden Grimshaw "Is This Love" | Calvin Harris featuring Florence Welch "Sweet Nothing" | Saint Lou Lou "Maybe You" | Darin "Nobody Knows" | Miley Cyrus "You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go" | Foster the People "Color on the Walls (Don't Stop)" | Carly Rae Jepsen "Hurt So Good" | Lana Del Rey "Diet Mountain Dew"

50. Queen of Hearts "Shoot the Bullet"
49. Calvin Harris featuring Example "We'll Be Coming Back"
48. Samantha Jade "What You've Done to Me"
47. Justin Bieber featuring Nicki Minaj "Beauty and a Beat"
46. Robbie Williams "Candy"
45. Madonna "I'm Addicted"
44. Jessie Ware "No to Love"
43. Foster the People "Houdini"
42. Natalia Kills "Kill My Boyfriend"
41. Conor Maynard "Can't Say No"

40. Little Boots "Headphones"
39. Lawson "Taking Over Me" (The Alias Radio Edit)
38. Cheryl Cole "Under the Sun" (The Alias Radio Edit)
37. David Guetta featuring Nicky Romero & Sia "Wild One Two"
36. Ellie Goulding "Anything Could Happen"
35. Minnie-Oh "You and I"
34. Le Kid "Human Behaviour"
33. Ricki-Lee "Raining Diamonds"
32. Justin Bieber "Thought of You"
31. Karmin "Brokenhearted"

30. Kris Allen & Meiko "Loves Me Not"
29. Diana Vickers "Music to Make the Boys Cry"
28. Lana Del Rey "Ride"
27. Carly Rae Jepsen "Turn Me Up"
26. Dream Beats featuring The Face "Love Stuck"
25. Rihanna "Where Have You Been"
24. Rebecca Ferguson "Glitter & Gold" (Cahill Radio Edit)
23. Kelly Clarkson "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)"
22. Stooshe "Black Heart"
21. Taylor Swift "Red"

20. Lana Del Rey "National Anthem"
Don't you know who you're dealing with?
The video, which imagines Lana as Jackie O, is really what sold this song for me. See also: the WestFunk and Fred Falke remixes as evidence of Ms. Del Rey's versatility.

19. Loreen "Euphoria"
Forever, we sail into infinity
Another year, another stellar Eurovision entry from Sweden. And this time they won the fucker with this gutsy, almost schizophrenic track, probably the most interesting mood pop song since "Say It Right."

18. Tome Damli & Eric Saade "Imagine"
And I can't forget about you/I'd rather be lonely instead
The fact that this carefree, sunny-sounding track is actually one of the most heartbreaking, depressing songs of the year is a great reminder of how masterful the Swedish are with pop music.

17. Ke$ha "Die Young"
Young hunks, taking shots/Stripping down to dirty socks
The Glitter Trash Queen returned with what is her most mature work to date. Well, "mature" for the woman who brushes her teeth with Jack Daniels, that is.

16. One Direction "I Would"
I can't compete with your boyfriend/He's got 27 tattoos
While a few too many of Take Me Home's tracks sound like they could have been sung by other artists, "I Would" is one that only could have come from My Boys. Their vibrant personalities are all over track, elevating an already cleverly written song into the album's standout.

15. Carly Rae Jepsen "Call Me Maybe"
Hey, I just met you/And this is crazy
Deceptively simple, endlessly addictive, one of the most genius hooks in ages. Bow down to Queen Carly Rae, peons.

14. Taylor Swift "I Knew You Were Trouble"
Pretends he doesn't know that he's the reason why/You're drowning
Dismissed as "The Taylor Swift Dubstep Song," "I Knew You Were Trouble" broke Taylor's last tie to the country community and, according to some rather dim individuals, every ounce of credibility she ever had. All I have to say is: Welcome to the Pop World, Taylor.

13. Agnes "One Last Time" (Extended Remix)
I let you down/And then I woke up next to a stranger
The album version is great and probably fits the mood of Veritas better, but this (somewhat) more uptempo version somehow makes the melancholy and heartbreak that much more palpable. 

12. Justin Bieber "Die In Your Arms"
There's no way that I could share you/That would break my heart to pieces
Like most male popstars, Justin Bieber wants to be the next Michael Jackson. Unlike most male popstars, Justin Bieber could actually be the next Michael Jackson. No, don't snicker at that. It's entirely true. If "Die In Your Arms" proves anything, it's that Bieber can do a smooth, midtempo love song and do it extraordinarily well.

11. Charlotte Perrelli "The Girl"
Of all the mistakes that I know I've done/Breaking your heart was the biggest one
Easily, the year's most epic chorus. The rest of the song ain't too shabby, either.

10. Girls Aloud "Something New"
We're the leaders of the pack/Tell me, can you handle that?
In the years since Girls Aloud's last album, the "girl group" has fallen on some hard times. The last Sugababes album bombed, The Saturdays have grown increasingly generic and new girl groups like Little Mix aren't even fit to carry Nadine's Tesco Club Points card . The Aloud, reuniting with Xenomania, reaffirmed their status as the greatest pop act in the world with "Something New," producing a song that introduced the "something new" pop music sorely needed by late 2012.

09. Cheryl Cole "Call My Name"
I love you too much to let go
The moment my love for Calvin Harris became heart-racingly, like-a-punch-in-the-gut real.

08. Dragonette "Let It Go"
We don't need a cure for the weight of the world
Very rarely do I ever love a song on first listen. But the moment I heard "Let It Go" on the band's SoundCloud page, I was so enamored by this rapturous, pulsing beat that I had to listen to it over and over and over again. Dragonette are often hit or miss for me, but I would hit this song all night long if I could.

07. Avicii "Levels"
Oh, oh, sometimes, I get a good feeling
Given the fact that one 2012 hit sampled it (Flo Rida's "Good Times") and another outright ripped it off (Ke$ha's "Die Young"), "Levels" feels more and more like one of the most important songs of the year.

06. Nicki Minaj "Starships"
But fuck who you want and fuck who you like
The moment when Nicki Minaj either jumped the shark or became reborn as the most atypical, genre-bending popstar around. Obviously, I believe the latter.

05. Justin Bieber "Boyfriend"
I can take you places you ain't never been before
Ten months later and "Boyfriend" is just as clever--both as a single choice and as a song itself--as it was back when it was released.

04. One Direction "One Thing"
Something's gotta give now/'Cause I'm dying just to know your name
To the unconvinced, "One Thing" is teen pop tripe, a generic song that can't even be bothered to come up with something more creative than "You've got that one thing" as its hook. But, in its own way, "One Thing" is a tribute to the boyband songs of yesterday, when times and pop hooks were much simpler. The lyrics may read inane on paper but they reveal a level of depth and longing few songs can muster.

03. Florence + The Machine "Spectrum (Say My Name)" (Calvin Harris Remix)
We are shining/And we will never be afraid again
I've always admired Florence Welch far more than I liked her music ("Dog Days Are Over" and "Shake It Out" notwithstanding). But the moment I heard her wail, "Say my naaaaaaaame!" like a drugged up acid queen over that Calvin Harris beat, I knew that Florence and I would get along just fine.

02. Lana Del Rey "Off to the Races"
I'm your little scarlet starlet/Singing in the garden
Everything a pop song should be but so rarely is: moody, mysterious, lush, yet ever so fragile. A popstar is born.

01. Demi Lovato "Give Your Heart a Break"
You try to smile it away/Some things you can't disguise
Before Miley and Selena eventually caught up to her, Demi was the be all and end all of the Disney pop princesses. Her 2009 album Here We Go Again was a mature-beyond-her-years masterwork which proved (to me, if no one else) that, hey, maybe these Disney kids were on to something. In the three years since that album, I have been a huge supporter of Demi, eagerly awaiting her big mainstream breakthrough. After a rough year for her in her personal life, Demi, almost out of nowhere, achieved just that with "Give Your Heart a Break." Picking up on my favorite trend of 2012, "Give Your Heart a Break" sounds like a light, summery pop song but is actually quite melancholic when you dig beneath the surface. A beautiful, sad love story pours out of Demi about a guy who has been damaged by past relationships and a girl desperately trying to convince him to take a chance on her. "Give Your Heart a Break" wasn't the first time Demi proved that she could hang with the Katy Perrys and Rihannas of the pop world, but it's certainly the most convincing argument that the rest of the world has finally figured this out, too.

A Look at the 2012 VMAs Best Female Video

Last year, I took a look at what I thought would be potential nominees for Best Female Video at the VMAs. Surprisingly, I did quite well, picking four of the eventual nominees out of the top seven while surprise nominee Beyoncé for "Run the World (Girls)" was highlighted towards the bottom of the list (before the video had even premiered!). The other night I was thinking of that post and decided to try again to come up with what I thought this year's race might look like. Not sure if I can match my predictions last year, but let's give this a shot and see what happens.

The Top 5:

Katy Perry "Part of Me"

4 Noms/0 Wins

In Her Favor: After two years, six #1's and a 3D concert movie, the Teenage Dream Era is coming to an end. Can you think of a more fitting farewell to Katy's immense success than with another nomination here?

But: Nothing. She's in.

Rihanna "We Found Love"

2 Noms/1 Win

In Her Favor: Rihanna manages to pump out hit after hit, but "We Found Love" was her biggest song since "Umbrella." Plus, "We Found Love" is without a doubt her best video to date.

But: Only two nominations? As big of a star as Rihanna should have more.

Kelly Clarkson "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)"

3 Noms/2 Wins

In Her Favor: Sometimes all it takes is a #1 hit like this to remind everyone why we fell in love with Kelly in the first place. Girlfriend already has two wins so they clearly love her.

But: Is she "hip" enough for MTV in these days of Katy Perry and Teen Wolf?

Nicki Minaj "Starships"

1 Nom/0 Wins

In Her Favor: Having just notched its 20th week in the Top 10, the song has proven to have massive staying power.

But: Does anybody remember the video? Like, at all?

Lana Del Rey "National Anthem"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: This is my No Guts, No Glory pick. This line-up is in clear need of a Critical Darling. Although Lana is not quite as huge as Adele, last year's Darling, is, she does have a rabid fanbase who were salivating over her material even before her Born to Die album came out. She seems like a long shot, but every once in awhile this category does embrace lesser-known artists with great, buzzworthy videos.

But: This only happens every once in awhile. As odd as it sounds, she probably has a better shot in the Video of the Year category, which is much more open to artistic videos like "National Anthem."

In the Running:

Lady Gaga "Marry the Night"

4 Noms/2 Wins

In Her Favor: I know I sound crazy for betting against Gaga, considering her rabid fanbase who are only out-crazied by the Beliebers. And this video was everything those fanatics could have possibly wanted from an artiste like Lady Gaga.

But: Come on. For an artist who has made a living off turning everything about her persona into pretentious bullshit, this fourteen minute, ultra serious video exploring the inner torment of Gaga The Person was Pretentious Bullshit.

Carly Rae Jepsen "Call Me Maybe"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: A zeitgeist hit...

But: ...That's only mildly less trashy than Rebecca Black's "Friday." More likely than not, expect her to pop up with One Direction in the Best New Artist category.

Madonna "Give Me All Your Luvin'" OR "Girl Gone Wild"

12 Noms/4 Wins

In Her Favor: In very different ways, these two videos have proven why Madonna is still the undisputed Queen of the Music Video.

But: The Gays have completely turned on her. If they don't care, why will MTV?

Britney Spears "I Wanna Go" OR "Criminal"

5 Noms/1 Win

In Her Favor: "I Wanna Go" and "Criminal" were both far better videos than the previous Femme Fatale singles produced.

But: I read somewhere that "I Wanna Go" debuted on the cutoff date for last year's VMAs. I refuse to believe this as that masterpiece received zero nominations while the mediocre "Till The World Ends" nabbed her a Best Pop Video trophy. And if she couldn't get a Best Female Video nomination with that massive track, I doubt either of these songs has the legs to get her there this year.

Jessie J "Domino"

0 Noms

In Her Favor: For better or worse, her loud, painted on jumpsuits were certainly eye-catching in this video.

But: Despite the fact that this song was a hit in the U.S., I still don't feel like she's that big over here. Do you ever hear people talking about her (well, I mean, despite complaining about her singing/wailing)?

Never Say Never:

Demi Lovato "Give Your Heart a Break"

0 Noms 

In Her Favor: With her upcoming X-Factor gig, people are finally taking notice and trying to make her happen.

But: I don't think it's her moment yet. We'll see where she's at after X-Factor debuts this fall.

Cher Lloyd "Want U Back"

0 Noms 

In Her Favor: Against all odds, it appears that she's crossing over into America.

But: She's only just hit the Top 40 here. And if Carly Rae doesn't make it, Cher certainly won't.

Dev "In the Dark"

0 Noms 

In Her Favor: An ubiquitous singer with her own big hit.

But: The song is nearly a year old; has her Moment passed already?

The Dame's 2012 Playlist: Nicki Minaj "Starships"

"I don't like 'Starships' because it doesn't make sense," someone recently complained on my Twitter feed. "Was it ever supposed to make sense?" I counter. The song is an absolute clusterfuck, with its massive RedOne production threatening, at times, to drown out Nicki Minaj's inimitable rapping, the insane, almost nonsensical, chorus combined with the raping of a classic children's tune. But amid all the nuttiness, which is Nicki's forte anyways, something about "Starships" clicks into place. Even more than "Super Bass," it pushes Nicki into the popstar realm she clearly doesn't want to embrace. This is a complete shame, as (a) Nicki views being a "popstar" as being a negative thing and (b) if she wanted to embrace it, she could be the most fascinating popstar around. "Starships" is proof that Nicki knows how to combine her rapping with her singing into something completely original (unlike her Guetta single "Turn Me On," which relies far too much on her singing). No, "Starships were meant to fly," makes absolutely no sense, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

Top 50 Songs of 2011, Part 2

Read part one here.

20. Britney Spears "Criminal"

Britney and ballads usually don't mix, or at least they haven't since "Every Time". But "Criminal" is perhaps the first ballad of Britney's career that caters to her vocal stylings instead of the other way around. Bonus points for that flute solo.

19. The Wanted "Lose My Mind"

"Lose My Mind," a melancholic, mid-tempo ballad a good deal more mature and emotive than you would expect from "just a boyband," was the first song from The Wanted that truly clicked with me (so of course it's the only single of theirs that didn't even land in the Top 20 in the UK).

18. Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull "On the Floor"

"It's a new generation," J. Lo sings over the intro to this RedOne-produced jam, alluding to the fact that a whole generation has come and gone since the last time she's been a popstar (I mean, I didn't even have my driver's license the last time she had a Top 10 hit). With its swift tempo changes, contrasts between hard dance and soft, breathy pop and an accordion melody, "On the Floor" proved that J. Lo still has what it takes to keep up with the Gagas and Rihannas of the pop world.

 

17. Taylor Swift "Back to December"

Taylor usually comes off as a whiny, mopey lesbian who spends far too much time thinking about her feelings and crying. However, "Back to December," allegedly about her "relationship" with Taylor Lautner, is her first ballad that comes off as a mature piece of work, rather than mediocre poetry from a 16-year-old. The line "You gave me roses/And I left them there to die" is filled with more melancholy and bitter regret than most songs can muster in three and a half minutes.

16. The Wanted "Lightning"

With "All Time Low" and "Glad You Came" before, and now "Lightning", it is readily apparent that when The Wanted and Ed Drewett get together, magic happens. Taking a cue from the unexpected contrast between hardness and softness in Britney's "Hold It Against Me," "Lightning" is The Wanted's most ingenious song to date and further proof that this group's success is not a fluke.

15. Nicki Minaj "Girls Fall Like Dominoes"

Nicki manages on "Girls Fall Like Dominoes," without the crutch of imagining herself as a boy (á la "Like a Boy," "If I Were a Boy" or "Do It Like a Dude"), to deliver a powerful, "if the boys can do it, why can't I?" message with her usual off-the-wall flow. She also manages the near impossible feat of name checking both the Kardashians and Kristin Cavallari without looking like she's trying too hard.

14. Nicola Roberts "Beat of My Drum"

Now this is how you launch a solo career after being a part of a mega successful girl group for nearly a decade. Instead of giving a fuck about how commercial this song is, Nicola hired a producer better known for urban and club music to create the sound she was looking for. Combined with the most infectious and catchy school yard chant since "Hollaback Girl," "Beat of My Drum" is the best (and most successful) experiment of the year.

13. Adele "Rolling in the Deep"

Although it became impossible to avoid on both sides of the Atlantic, "Rolling in the Deep" doesn't get any less amazing the 500th time you hear it. It's the kind of mind-blowing pop anthem that comes along only a couple times a decade and should be treasured as such.

12. Lady Gaga "The Edge of Glory"

The 99 cents I paid for Gaga's Born This Way album was just for this song. Whereas most of that album was an ugly, monotonous mess, "The Edge of Glory" is a reminder of how good Gaga can be when she's not trying so hard to be an artsy, edgy artiste. In many ways, this is a throwback to the sonic and emotional overload that was "Bad Romance".

11. Hurts "Sunday"

"Sunday" is an achingly sad song, disguised with as fast of a tempo as you're likely ever to get from the notoriously gloomy British duo. The contrast is jarring, but only makes the song that much more fascinating.

10. Rihanna "S&M"/Rihanna featuring Britney Spears "S&M (Remix)"

What a lot of people failed to understand about this song is that S&M is not about the whipping, the tying up and the gagging. It is more about control and trusting your partner. In other words, there's a world of difference between your popstar boyfriend beating the shit out of you in a car and leaving you for dead (for example) and having someone you love and trust tie you to a bed and whip you. "S&M" is Rihanna taking back control of her life from past demons. The fact that it's a candy-coated pop song summarizes what was so brilliant about the Loud era--the combination of the darkness of Rated R with the commerciality of Good Girl Gone Bad. The remix is admittedly frivolous, and the production is wonky at best, but it's so much damn fun I can't resist. I still feel pangs of excitement every time I hear Britney's inimitable voice growl, "Na na na, come on!"

09. Adele "Set Fire to the Rain"

"Set Fire to the Rain" is the bombastic, over-the-top, shout-it-at-the-top-of-your-lungs powerballad I always knew Adele had in her. I love "Rolling in the Deep," obviously, and "Someone Like You" is a beautiful song, but this song is more suited to my taste for massive, emotional pop ballads ("Set Fire to the Rain" is up there with Céline Dion's magnum opus "It's All Coming Back to Me Now"), songs as emotional therapy (but I guess the entirety of 21 would fall under this category) and even songs with the word "fire" in them (just as this is my favorite Adele song, "Fire Bomb" is my favorite Rihanna song). Adele's throaty, gritty vocals have never sounded better, especially when she's singing, "Well it burned while I cried/'Cause I heard it screaming out your name." While 21 wasn't my cup of tea overall, it is because of songs like "Set Fire to the Rain" that I sincerely believe Adele is one of the greatest talents of our time.

 

08. Beyoncé "Best Thing I Never Had"

Aside from a new baby, girlfriend had a tough 2011. After releasing nearly every damn track off her challenging (but still brilliant) 4 album, Beyoncé couldn't land a Top 10 hit if she changed her name to Katy Gaga. I guess no one was in the mood for mid-90's R&B throwbacks (and whatever the hell you would classify "Run the World" as), which is an utter shame when they are as brilliant as "Best Thing I Never Had". The song's theme is that of a typical "I'm so glad I'm over you" anthem, but it's written from a slightly different point of view, giving it even further depth beyond B's powerhouse vocals (Which are fun to belt along with into your remote control/pretend microphone at 1 am. Not that I've ever done that).

07. Nicole Scherzinger "Don't Hold Your Breath"

I've grown to hate Nicole "Cunt" Scherzinger after her stint as judge on X-Factor US, but, as I have said before, don't hate the song, hate the singer. "Don't Hold Your Breath" is still a magnificently potent pop song, intelligently written to be an empowering "moving on" anthem with just the slightest hint of mournful sorrow about the demise of the relationship. Of course, Scherzinger's personality-free vocals have very little to do with its success, but she does deserve some credit for realizing what a great song this is.

06. Sophie Ellis-Bextor "Off & On"

While many will (deservedly) think of "We Found Love" as the Calvin Harris jam of the year, I can't rank it above Harris' underappreciated effort with the one and only Sophie Ellis-Bextor. "Off & On" has been floating around for a few years, first as a Róisín Murphy track which didn't make her album, then as an unreleased SEB demo and finally in this finished album form, and is still just as brilliant today as it was then. The fact that both Murphy and Ellis-Bextor, two immensely talented divas with two completely different styles, both managed to use this song to suit their individual styles has me curious what covers of this song by other pop divas and their favorite producers would sound like. I mean, imagine "Off & On" by Britney and Bloodshy & Avant, Nelly Furtado and Timbaland, P!nk and Dr. Luke or Madonna and William Orbit. The results would be all over the place, but "Off & On" is such a flexible song, you can easily imagine all of them working.

05. One Direction "What Makes You Beautiful"

I rooted for One Direction during their X-Factor days because even then I somehow knew that they were going to make music that I was going to appreciate and love. But when "What Makes You Beautiful" came out, they completely blew my expectations away. The title makes it sound like a dreary, completely clichéd mid-tempo boyband track, so color me surprised when I discovered it was the most cheery, sunny, peppy pop song you could ever hope for. Lyrics such as "If only you saw what I could see/You'd understand why I want you so desperately" sound like complete hokum, but the One Direction boys deliver them with such immense joy and earnestness, you begin to believe it. In other words, my new dream in life is for a boy to sing this song to me to proclaim his love for me (the boy in this dream may or may not be Zayn Malik). "What Makes You Beautiful" is the kind of song that makes you wish for something as ridiculous like that and doesn't make you feel ashamed about it after the song has ended. If that's not the definition of a perfect pop song, I don't know what is.

04. Eric Saade "Popular"

Saade is very hit or miss, as evidenced by the success of this year's Saade Vol. 1 album and the utter shittiness of Vol. 2 just a few months later. When he hits, as he does with his Eurovision entry "Popular," there are few male popstars in the world who can match him. There's nothing especially noteworthy about either the lyrics or the message of "Popular," both of which are pretty standard fare as far as dance-pop tracks go. But there is something in Saade's delivery, particularly in the last minute of the song where things go absolutely off the rails and Saade is wailing and crying and singing his heart out, that elevates this song to classic status. Saade may not have won Eurovision with this song, but he certainly won a fan in me.

03. Rihanna "Man Down"

The fact that "Man Down," Rihanna's farewell to the Rated R era in both theme and tone, was ever released as a single completely surprised me (although I wasn't as surprised by its underperformance on the charts). I can see why this song wouldn't appeal to Rihanna fans who are fond of her lighter, dancier stuff, but it's because of songs like "Man Down," where she is willing to skirt commerciality in order to express a darker, less digestible idea, that I'm such a big fan of hers in the first place. Now that she has the success and the credibility to back her up, she is up for trying anything, even if that involves a pseudo-reggae styling and her most pronounced Bajan accent ever featured on one of her songs. But the real power of "Man Down" is around the three minute mark where Rihanna completely descends into reggae territory and starts slurring words in her own, special way. Not many commercial artists would be willing to push their sound that far outside the box, but Rihanna does it without breaking a sweat.

02. Britney Spears "I Wanna Go"

At this point in her career, Britney has nothing left to prove. The woman has defied expectations for years and managed to stay relevant long after many of her early counterparts have bitten the dust (yes, Floptina, I'm talking about you!). So, what else is there left for her to do but assert herself as the Queen of Pop and remind us once again why we go to her for edgy, top-notch dance songs. "I Wanna Go," with it's talk of masturbation and showing us all the dirt Britney's got running through her mind, is nothing we haven't heard before from her. But is there anyone else on the planet who can sing about such things with such complete cheeriness and without making it the filthiest fucking song you've ever heard? I talk a lot about "summer jams" and how most of the ones made today are processed to sound like immediate iTunes must haves. But "I Wanna Go" is the perfect example of how a song not immediately destined for the easiness of a lazy day on the beach can completely encapsulate that feeling. The song is reckless abandon and utter freedom with a dash of naughtiness to spice things up. And without "I Wanna Go," 2011 would have been a whole lot less fun.

01. Nicki Minaj "Super Bass"

Ignorance may be bliss, but in the case of "Super Bass," ignorance nearly cost me my number one song of the year. It wasn't until this video's premiere in April that I even knew this song, or any of the other Pink Friday bonus tracks, existed. As soon as I heard the song, I liked it enough to download it. Then I kept listening to it and I thought to myself, "Hey, I can learn that rap!". So I spent nearly a month singing along with the lyrics, hoping that one day it would sink in. And then it did, but I still couldn't get enough of this song. Now at 98 plays on my iTunes--the only song that ranks higher is Girls Aloud's "Biology"--I can safely assume that I will never be tired of "Super Bass". Usually, I'm not a big fan of when Nicki does raps outside of her Roman ego, but "Super Bass" is the very notable exception to this rule, as she doesn't need that flamboyant, in-your-face arrogance to make this song work. "Super Bass" is a pop song through and through, with the only difference being, obviously, that Nicki raps her verses. Everything about "Super Bass" is a pure joy to listen to; I know I certainly perk up whenever I hear the opening notes come on my iTunes. Sure, it's not the deepest, most intricate rap Nicki has ever done, but how can you argue with the authoritative way she boasts, "Somebody please tell 'em who the eff I is" or her annunciation on, "You're slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh!"? Nicki sells this song like the star that she is, making this the year we found a popstar in a hopeless place.

Somebody Please Tell 'Em Who the Eff She Is

I don't think I've ever spoken of my love for Nicki Minaj before, which is very nearly a crime worthy of capital punishment given how "Super Bass" is my favorite song of the year, so I want to take some time to talk about her. As a white boy from rural Michigan, rap isn't exactly my forte. Not surprisingly, though, of the rappers I do enjoy, the vast majority of them are females. Missy Elliott has always been my favorite--although with legendary tracks like "Work It" and "Get Ur Freak On", who could compete?--but Nicki is quickly catching up. Not only is the woman versatile beyond belief, Nicki also has some of the most clever, interesting lyrics this side of Kanye West at his best. She's an artist who only gets more interesting with time and I can't wait to hear what insanity she comes out with next. To celebrate her, I decided to give a brief rundown of my favorite Nicki verses, whether from her solo work or as a guest artist.

10. "In My Head [Remix]"

It's not very often where I find myself audibly laughing while listening to lyrics, but on this remix of the Jason Derülo hit, I still chuckle at certain bits of Nicki's verse.

Key Lyric: "Smash more clubs than Tiger Woods' wifey"

09. "Up Out My Face [Remix]"

This is the first time I ever heard Nicki after at least a couple of months of hype surrounding her. I must admit that at first, I didn't get the big deal. But after numerous listens to this remix of Mariah Carey's jam, I finally got it.

Key Lyric: "Cat's away, well the mice will play/LOL, smiley face, have a nice-a day"

08. "Your Love"

The first Nicki song I ever truly loved, which is surprising because it's neither the type of rap she's known for or the kind of rapping I love best from her. But, backed by an Annie Lennox sample (!!!!), Nicki wrote a surprisingly tender rap about finding a soulmate.

Key Lyric: "When I was a geisha, he was a samurai/Somehow I understood him when he spoke Thai"

07. "Did It On 'Em"

This gem of an album track would probably pass you by unnoticed if you didn't take a second and listen to the lyrics. There are so many hilarious and off-beat boasts (maybe acting as a parody?) that puts many other rappers and their lame attempts and building themselves up to shame.

Key Lyric: "If I had a dick, I would pull it out and piss on 'em"

06. "Super Bass"

My favorite Nicki song. The only reason it's not ranked higher is because I love this song for reasons other than its lyrics. She may be more clever on other songs, but that doesn't diminish the amazingness of this song.

Key Lyric: "I mean, you're so shy and I'm loving your tie/You're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh"

05. "Where Them Girls At"

Even though it was a hit in the UK earlier this year, I only just got into this song a couple of weeks ago. Nicki often does her finest work featuring on other people's songs where she often steals the show and this David Guetta track is no exception. The moment I truly fell for this song, I was on my way to work and I was cracking up at Nicki's verse.

Key Lyric: "You can suck a dick, you can suck on a ballsack/No, no, I don't endorse that, p-p-p-pause that, abort that"

04. "Girls Fall Like Dominoes"

Nicki's flow on this song is incredible. And I love the way the first and second verses really have nothing to do with each other but they somehow sound quite harmonious next to each other. Bonus points for name dropping both Mo'Nique and Grace Jones in a song!

Key Lyric: "Material girls like Madonna/Model for Donatella/Ain't nothing you can tell her 'cause she get that mozzarella"

03. "Bottoms Up"

This is the song I use to get pumped whenever I got out drinking with my friends. Even before we touch a drop of alcohol, my friend Megan and I try to sing Nicki's verse on this song and, dear God, we cannot keep up for the life of us. Such a perfect little ode to getting completely hammered.

Key Lyric: "Rest in piece to Anna Nicole Smith/Yes, my dear, you're so explosive/Say hi to Mary, Mary and Joseph/Now bottoms up and double my doses"

02. "Roman's Revenge"

I wasn't crazy about this song at first. Now I can't imagine a world without it. Whatever your opinion of Eminem's verses (I think they work and are the most inspired things he's done in ages), we all have to agree that Nicki absolutely kills it on this song. I am in absolute awe of her ability to play with random words and phrases and put them together in phrases that make complete sense.

Key Lyric: "Word, that bitch mad 'cause I took the spot?/Well, bitch, if you ain't shittin', then get off the pot"

01. "Monster"

A song by Kanye West which also features Jay-Z and little ole Nicki Minaj is the one who steals the entire show? This was Nicki's "Bad Romance" moment: the instant we all realized that she wasn't fucking around and was, in fact, the real deal. Her entire verse is not only cleverly written but is also delivered with such a relentless energy unlike anyone in the game today.

Key Lyric: "But really, really, I don't give a F-U-C-K/Forget Barbie, fuck Nicki she escaped/She on a diet but her cock is eating cheesecake"

Half-Way Report for 2011

Top 5 Films

05. Source Code (Duncan Jones)

The tepid reviews really watered down any expectations, so I was surprised to find a fine mix of a great gimmick, intelligent action sequences and an achingly beautiful and unsentimental romance. Source Code had me under its spell the entire runtime, a spell that even a horribly botched ending couldn't completely break.

04. Scream 4 (Wes Craven)

Instead of phoning it in, Craven & Co. deliver another excellent installment in this horror franchise. Bonus points: will I have this much fun at another movie this year? I haven't been so giggly in a theatre since I saw Secretariat and my friend Sammi kept shouting "Oscar! Oscar!" at all of Diane Lane's big Moments.

03. Downton Abbey (Julian Fellowes)

Witty, absorbing and intelligent with a great ratio of serious and silly, Julian Fellowes' expansion of his Gosford Park was one of the most surprising things I've seen all year. And who says Masterpiece Theatre is only for old geezers?

02. Bridesmaids (Paul Feig)

This film had me at Kristen Wiig in raunchy female comedy. But who would have guessed just how funny and real it was going to be?!

01. Hanna (Joe Wright)

As you are all well aware, action films are not my favorite genre, but when you have an ace stylist like Joe Wright who knows how to construct images and scenes with a distinctive visual flair that don't feel gratuitous (unlike a certain other French Canadian director everyone is so crazy about), a bombastic score from The Chemical Brothers and a hard-as-nails lead performance from one of the only decent under 18 actors around, you have the very best film of the year so far. And I can't imagine not loving this by year end either.

Top 5 Performances

05. Michael Fassbender, Jane Eyre

Sex sex sex sex sex sex. He's practically dripping with testosterone and hard, angry lust in all of his best scenes in Jane Eyre.

04. Saoirse Ronan, Hanna

Who would have guessed that the same girl from Atonement would also be a total Ellen Ripley? Kudos to her for balancing the pathos with the ass-kicking.

03. Maya Rudolph, Bridesmaids

She obviously the straight woman to Wiig's whacked out nutiness, but she kills in her own comedic moments. Plus, Rudolph adds a touch of sweetness to the bawdy comedy surrounding her.

02. Dame Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Dame Maggie plays Dame Maggie here--a crusty old grandmother who won't stand for foolishness or foreign ideas--but no one does Dame Maggie like the legend herself. Her wonderful comedic timing ("What is a weekend?") punctuates and accentuates what could have been a dry melodrama.

01. Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids

The fact that she plays a desperate, single maid of honor who can't hold a job, gets involved in sexual relationships with idiots who don't deserve her, likes to partaaaaaay and makes lots of penis jokes sounds like it was tailor-made for me. But, despite all the major (and deserved) guffaws, Wiig plays Annie with a sense of realness and legitimacy often ignored in comedies of this nature.

Top 5 Rentals

05. Europa Europa

A Holocaust film about survival from a different angle than you're accustomed to seeing. This one blew me away and not just because the male lead went full frontal in the first five minutes. (My review here)

04. Female

Without a doubt, the Pre-Code era was one of the most liberating for actresses. This film with Ruth Chatterton as a powerful CEO whose career is her life and men are just sexual playthings is one of the best from that period. It's not-so-subtle approach to sex will baffle audiences who think old films are all chaste and wholesome. (My review here)

03. The Last Command

Josef von Sternberg's tale of a former Russian general exiled in Hollywood as a silent film extra appears a tad farfetched on paper, especially when you consider that he begins work on a film directed by a Communist he personally sent to prison. Unbelievable or not, it's a great film, a fine example of the type of complex dramas Hollywood was able to crank out like clockwork in the Golden Age.

02. Billy Liar

Tom Courtenay is often forgotten among British New Wave heavies like Albert Finney and Richard Harris. A shame since many of his films and his performance hold up far better than any of Finney's (especially from this era). Billy Liar is a surprisingly funny and unself-conscious film for the period with Courtenay as our plucky hero, a working class chap who spends his days escaping his dreary existence through his own fantasy world. Julie Christie, of all actresses, lends support as his quirky and fun friend/possible love interest who encourages his fantasy.

01. The Prince and the Showgirl

This Laurence Olivier directed comedy about a stubborn, conceited prince (Olivier) and the vivacious, smarter-than-she-looks showgirl who falls for him (Marilyn Monroe) really should have been a disaster. The man who won an Oscar for Hamlet acting against Hollywood's most notorious "dumb blonde" bombshell? Get out of here. Somehow, by the grace of Oprah, it all came together in one of the most charming and funny romantic comedies of the 50's. Olivier is great playing the pompous cad, but Monroe is the real story here. Her umpteenth take on the showgirl role is one of the cleverest performances of her career, only outclassed by Some Like It Hot and The Misfits.

Top 5 Songs

05. Katy Perry "E.T."

An unusual but ultimately beautiful love song. Who would have guessed that after "I Kissed a Girl" Katy would have something like this in her?

04. Rihanna "Man Down"

The Rated R Era officially comes to an end with this reconciliation of that album's dark, violent imagery and the Loud Era's more commercial tendencies. The result is a brilliant synthesis of the two Rihanna polarities.

03. Eric Saade "Popular"

So gloriously over-the-top and manic how can you not love it?

02. Nicole Scherzinger "Don't Hold Your Breath"

My personal anthem for 2011. For serious.

01. Nicki Minaj "Super Bass"

It has become my main goal in life to learn all the lyrics to this song. I'm getting pretty good, for a white guy, anyways, which is especially encouraging since this is one of Nicki's faster raps. Everything about this song is pure joy. I've listened to it 60+ times in just a month and a half and I haven't even come close to getting sick of it.

Top 5 Bonus Tracks, B-sides, Remixes & Other Assorted Non-Singles

05. Le Kid "Mr. Brightside"

The reason I don't dismiss every cover song on the planet is because of covers like this, a fun and bouncy reconfiguring of the Killers' big, somewhat dark pop anthem.

04. Beyoncé "Run the World (Girls) (Dave Audé Radio Edit)"

I'm not normally into remixes except in instances when they improve the original (and don't go on for 8 minutes at a time). Why Beyoncé hasn't done a full-blown dance album yet is beyond me.

03. Andrew Rannells "I Believe"

It's all about one lyric: "And I believe that in 1978 God changed his mind about black people (Black people!)"

02. Rihanna featuring Britney Spears "S&M (Remix)"

Slutty Britney is still my favorite Britney, so I can't tell you how excited I was to hear her inimitable voice moan out "Na na na come on" in the beginning. I know a lot of people either violently hated or shrugged their shoulders at this remix but not me. It's dumb and ridiculous and slutty and exactly the way a song called "S&M" should be.

01. Selena Gomez "Who Says (Dave Audé Radio Edit)"

A vast improvement over the midtempo original. Why this wasn't done as a dancefloor inspirational jam in the first place beats the hell out of me.

Top 5 Albums

05. Alexis Jordan, Alexis Jordan

A fine debut from a rising star. Nothing especially groundbreaking but it has become a compulsively listenable album in the months since I first heard it.

04. Original Cast, The Book of Mormon (Original Broadway Cast Recording)

Everything you would expect from a Matt Stone and Trey Parker skewering of the Mormon religion and then some. Even non fans of South Park would get a kick out of this.

03. Same Difference, The Rest Is History

Everyone's favorite slightly incestuous brother-sister pop duo Same Difference is back and all grown up this time. The glorious key changes are ditched in favor of sleeker, sexier dance pop. A refreshing and worthy follow-up to their fantastic debut.

02. Selena Gomez & The Scene, When the Sun Goes Down

In the matter of 18 short months, Selena has gone from Disney's fourth largest commodity (after the Brothers Jonas, Miley & Demi, obviously) to one of the brightest beacons of hope for the future of pop music. One of the album's key tracks, the killer "Whiplash," was co-written by the Queen herself, Britney, and it almost looks like a way of her passing the torch and giving approval to her eventual successor...

01. Britney Spears, Femme Fatale

...That is if Britney was ready to go anywhere. Twelve years into her career and Britney only gets better, constantly surprising us with the directions she is taking her music.

Top 5 Music Videos

05. Rihanna "S&M"

Rihanna is not really a music video artist, which is a shame because it's an area she should be excelling in. "S&M" is one of her rare videos that deviates from the "I'm just gonna stand around and look pretty" norm. I love the bright colors of the mise-en-scène and the way Rihanna goes balls the wall with the S&M imagery. If it wasn't for the hyper kinetic editing which distracts more often than it should, I'd say it was her masterpiece.

04. Britney Spears "I Wanna Go"

"Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're cool. Fuck you. I'm out." As if Britney could be any more legendary. Has Britney ever had this much fun in a music video?

03. Hurts "Sunday"

A glorious reinterpretation of the Orpheus myth which builds on the well-established persona of Hurts as the most depressing, dapper duo in music today.

02. Beyoncé "Run the World (Girls)"

01. Robyn "Call Your Girlfriend"

I'm pretty sure I've said all I need to say about these two videos.

Top 5 Obsessions

05. Kylie Minogue's Discography
After Christmas, I randomly picked up a used copy of Kylie's Fever album and fell in love with it. Having such a major success with that one, I downloaded another. Yet again a corker, so I downloaded another. And the cycle went on and on until I had all of her studio albums in my possession. If anything, I'm grateful for this little jaunt of mine for making me realize the absolute brilliance that is "Your Disco Needs You" and, especially, "What Do I Have to Do".

04. Michael Fassbender in Jane Eyre and X-Men: First Class

He is the walking sex. I can't even. How did those actors get through their scenes without dropping their pants and bending over in front of him?

03. Brideshead Revisited

How did people watch miniseries before the invention of the DVD?  I don't know how I would have waited a week between installments of this popular British miniseries from 1981, starring Jeremy Irons and Anthony Andrews. I was like a carnivore as soon as that red Netflix envelope came in my mailbox, tearing it to shreads and rushing to put the DVD in the player. This series was so good, y'all, especially the first half with Andrews as the drole, alcoholic, guilt-ridden Sebasitan Flyte.

02. Tom Courtenay

I've become such an uber fan of Courtenay's in the past couple of months I watched Doctor fucking Zhivago again just for him and his Oscar nomination. Yes, I re-watched a bloody David Lean film for him. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

01. Random TLC Shows

Extreme Couponing. Toddlers & Tiaras. My Strange Addiction.  The best programming in all of television is on this channel. And to think I once dismissed TLC as the channel where every show is about midgets and obnoxiously large families.

Top 5 Hot Guys

(New/recent obsessions since this list would otherwise be all Michael Fassbender)

05. Marlon Teixeira

04. Eric Saade

03. Josh Hutcherson

02. Aaron Tveit

01. Armie Hammer

Top 5 Blog Posts

05. Dame Wears Black for Andy

I'm still in mourning.

04. Even My Grandma Thinks I'm Gonna Die Alone

In which even my lovely 84 year old grandma realizes that I am Liz Lemon.

03. Sex & Blue Valentine

My analysis of one sex scene that haunted me in Blue Valentine.

02. My Oscar Dream

Is this really how I'm gonna win my Oscar? Lord I hope so.

01. Top 10 Sonny With a Chance Moments

Goodbye, my beloved show. It was a great run while it lasted. Here's hoping the lovely cast finds much success afterwards (especially once this So Random! thing ends).