Best Actress Bar Crawl

If Twitter is good for nothing else, it's a fantastic place to share silly ideas with people and watch them blossom into something completely different and unexpected. After watching her on a talk show being her fabulous, charismatic, over-the-top self, I innocently commented on Twitter that my dream in life was to go out drinking with Gabourey Sidibe. My birthday twin Will jokingly responded that we were free to meet him and Jennifer Lawrence for happy hour. This spawned its own conversation as we imagined this outing which somehow grew to include a party bus and Zayn and Harry from One Direction stopping by at some point. During this fun, however, a wonderful hypothetical question came to my mind: which recent Best Actress nominees would I like to go with on a one night bar crawl? In its own way, this is a great way to get to know people, whether they are your oldest friends or a complete stranger. You can certainly tell a lot about a person who would pick Meryl Streep and Kate Winslet over Catalina Sandino Moreno and Samantha Morton (anyone who picks Renée Zellweger is certainly not to be trusted). So, in the spirit of getting to know me better--as if my life isn't already an open book--here are the five Best Actress nominees since 2000 I'd love to have a drink with:

Gabourey Sidibe

If you've ever seen Gabby on a talk show, particularly the fast and loose Chelsea Lately, you will understand where I'm coming from on this one. This girl knows how to have a good time. Plus, she's admitted that she loves to drink and she's an endless fountain of 90s trivia. What can possibly happen with her except the best damn night of drinking ever?

Jennifer Lawrence

Yes, I'm stealing this answer from Will, but once he mentioned her, I knew she had to come along as well. Jennifer may seem like an odd choice as she usually appears to be Ms. Serious Actress after Winter Bone and The Hunger Games. As with Gabby, though, if you have seen her on a talk show, you will know that this girl knows how to have fun. Besides, how can you say no to a woman who will photo bomb her own boyfriend:

I rest my case.

Anne Hathaway

As one of the only three women I would switch teams for (Penelope Cruz and Christina Hendricks being the other two), it's only fitting that I invite Anne along so that maybe we can drunkenly make out a little bit. And, unlike Penelope, there won't be any language barrier, so she'll get to be her fun, witty self all night long (Although I like to imagine that Penelope speaks better English when she's drunk).

Helen Mirren

This bitch may be 67 years old, but you know she would be able to drink everyone in the bar under the table and still be classy/sexy enough to make out with someone a third her age without looking like a desperate, pathetic cougar. God bless this Dame.

Sandy Bullock

Who else besides Sandy, with her trademarked deadpan sense of humor, is going to make fun of the losers all around us at the bar with me? If we go to the gay bar in my town, we will definitely more than enough targets to launch our barbs on.

Now, more importantly, which lovely ladies would you pick?

The Sandy Bullock and Melissa McCarthy Buddy Cop Movie

I still remember my reaction when I first heard about The Heat, the upcoming Sandra Bullock/Melissa McCarthy buddy cop movie, as clearly as if it happened yesterday. I was on break at work, praying for a quick death to end my misery. You see, the night before, I had gone out to celebrate my birthday and this Dame had a little bit too much to drink. I was so hungover that, thirty minutes before I had to be in, I could barely move from my couch. Miraculously, I somehow made my way to work--on time, mind you!--only to find out as soon as I got in that I had to go out in the hot sun and get carts. So, by the time my break rolled around, I was not a happy camper. But then I got a Twitter notification from Will on my phone: Sandy Bullock and Melissa McCarthy are doing a buddy cop movie together. To this day, I'm not sure if it was because of my sickness, the heat or a surprise surge of hormones, but I damn near cried reading that. Yes, in the middle of the breakroom, I nearly cried over the vaguest of film plots and casting news. Have I reached a new level of cinephilia?

The reason I mention all this is because photographic evidence that this movie is actually going to happen and isn't just some cruel practical joke the world is playing on me has (finally) turned up:

Holy fuck. I was already sold before this, but now I want to have nasty sex with this picture. They are such badasses. As I said on Twitter, I am so excited for this movie I could cry, vomit and shit my pants all at the same time.

Every since the day I heard about this movie, I prayed and prayed to Oprah that the casting wouldn't fall through and we'd be stuck with Katherine Heigl and Octavia Spencer. Because, in all honesty, the main reason I'm excited for The Heat is because of Sandy and Melissa. With anyone else, this would barely be worth tweeting about. But Sandy and Melissa are so dear to me on their own (we all remember how hard I stanned for them in the respective years they were nominated for Oscars) the thought of them together is almost too much for me to handle. They have such wildly different comic personas--Sandy is simultaneously self-deprecating and goofy while Melissa's style is more balls-to-the-wall, in-your-face improv--I'm eager to see how well they work together. And with Bridesmaids director Paul Feig in their corner, I feel like this one will be hard to fuck up.

10 Most Anticipated Performances This Fall

The fall season is upon this and with the changing leaves comes the Oscar season. So long, superheroes, hello, adults with problems! Needless to say, it's usually my favorite time of the year (although this spring and early summer will probably give the next few months a run for their money). To celebrate this season's commencement, I thought I would change things up a bit and share the performances I'm looking forward to the mos. Here they are in no particular order: 

Keira Knightley, A Dangerous Method

Since A Dangerous Method's premiere at Venice, the words "loud" and "in-your-face" have been used almost exclusively to describe Knightley's performance. Reaction has been mixed as to whether or not it works, but I absolutely love gutsy, go-for-broke performances. And Knightley has only grown in my esteem since Atonement.

Michael Fassbender, Shame

I could say that I'm mostly excited for this performance because Fassy is reteaming with his Hunger director Steve McQueen, but we all know I'd be lying. As soon as I heard the words "full frontal," my ticket was already bought. But Fassy is a great actor and he has been receiving rave reviews for this performance, so I'd be interested in this performance even if we didn't get a glimpse of the goods.

Sandra Bullock, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

I don't care what anyone says, I'm still proudly a member of Team Sandy and her Oscar win back in 2009. This is why I'm curious to see if her first post-Oscar film will continue my fascination with this woman. Provided Stephen Daldry's adaptation of this acclaimed novel hits the right notes, I don't think Sandy will have a problem nailing this.

Armie Hammer, J. Edgar

The recent trailer left me cold, but if it did nothing else, it certainly raised my already considerable interest in Armie's performance in this film. The way I'm reading the trailer, he's playing the supportive wife role, which makes me smile because the thought of 6 foot 5 Aryan God Armie Hammer playing the docile supporting wife is hilarious in its own right. Plus he gets a shouting scene! Can you say "Oscar clip"? If we couldn't get Andy Garfield a nom last year, this should be an easier sell, right?

Kirsten Dunst, Melancholia

Lars von Trier has a way with actresses that is almost unparalleled (hello, Nicole Kidman in Dogville!). The fact that he decided to work with as unlikely of an actress as Dunst, whom will always be in my good graces for Bring It On alone, makes me think that he saw something truly special in her that will translate well in his apocalyptic film.

Charlize Theron, Young Adult

Theron has never been a favorite actress of mine (my three favorite performances of her are Monster, the "Crossfire" music video and that Dior ad where she undresses as she walks through a long corridor), but I know a lot of people who love and trust her even when her filmography might not warrant such devotion. The real story here is screenwriter Diablo Cody, who made even the insufferable Megan Fox temporarily interesting in Jennifer's Body. If she can work that same magic with the much more tolerable Charlize Theron in this film about a divorced loser returning home to rekindle an old romance, the results will be golden.

Elizabeth Olsen, Martha Marcy May Marlene

The fact that a member of the Olsen clan who is not one of the Olsen Twins is getting Oscar buzz is enough for me. What a delicious little story: sister of billionaire media moguls wows in low budget indie film.

Zac Efron, New Year's Eve

A bit of a silly choice, I know. But it has simply been far too long with out Efron on our movie screens (about 16 months by the time this comes out). On the plus side, New Year's Eve is a comedy, which is truly Efron's forte and Garry Marshall was able to get at least one interesting performance out of his last film in this vein, Valentine's Day.

Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn

I have to say I'm mostly curious about watching the introverted, cerebral Williams portray an actress like Monroe, who achieved stardom with charm, warmth and massive sex appeal. The result could either be a beautiful disaster or a triumph. I, for one, am intrigued either way.

Jason Segel & Amy Adams, The Muppets

I was going to pick Sterling Knight & Selena Gomez as the duo from this film I'm most excited about, but I realize that they are probably only cameo roles and I don't want to get overexcited for 90 seconds of screentime. I don't, however, want to make it sound like I'm not interested in the main romance between Segel & Adams. These two are adorable on their own, so I don't know if we can handle their combined adorableness. I'm certainly willing to try, though.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

A precocious young boy, Oskar, loses his father in 9/11. Two years later, still trying to come to terms with the loss, he finds a key in his father's closet. Oskar doesn't know what they key actually unlocks, so, with the word "Black" written on the envelope the key was in as his only clue, he begins a journey to discover what the key is for. Given its grave subject matter, it's surprising just how quick of a read Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close is. I was immediately hooked by Foer's prose, even if the novel's structure is a touch too precious and overworked at times (A second story emerges about the failed marriage between Oskar's grandparents; he writes in run-on sentences, her sentences are short, almost like lines of poetry. It's not complicated to understand but it does get to be a bit much in parts). He captures grief and loss extremely well, almost as well as Michael Chabon did with The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay.

For all its strengths, though, never have I been in love with a book and simultaneously hated it as much as I did with Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. The character of Oskar is one of the most awful, unbearable protagonists I've encountered in ages. I understand that he's in pain and doesn't know how to process his father's death properly, but he's incredibly self-centered (just before his death, his father left recordings on the answering machine but Oskar refuses to share these recordings with his mother, primarily because she has found comfort with a new guy) and almost impossible to relate to. Oskar is a know-it-all and if you think they are bad in real life, try spending 300 pages with one. Obviously, I don't mean to suggest that we must "like" every protagonist in order for a book to be successful. But, in a story like this, we have to like Oskar, otherwise his journey means absolutely nothing to the reader. His revelations at the end would have been far more impactful if we could relate to Oskar. I was almost on the verge of tears as it was; if I had cared, it would have been waterworks. But it's a small complaint in the grand scheme of things, as Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close remains a very good novel.

With a film this good and this timely, it's not surprising that we're getting a film adaptation later this year from director Stephen Daldry. A lot of people think this will be a slam dunk, but I remain pessimistic. I'm assuming the film will rest firmly on the shoulders of Thomas Horn, the young actor playing Oskar. Here's the problem: there is absolutely no way an actor his age can appropriately navigate the emotional journey Oskar goes through in the novel. Sure, he'll be coached and directed and it will most likely look halfway decent, but it will lack the power someone older could pull off. And I'm not saying this simply because I generally dislike child actors. I doubt that even my two favorites, Jean-Pierre Léaud and Phillip Alford (of To Kill a Mockingbird fame), could do it (although I'd be the first to admit that I would have loved to see Alford's attempt). I'm ready for you to prove me wrong, Thomas, but until then, I remain unconvinced. 

At least we'll get to see Sandy Bullock, presumably as Oskar's mother, in a meaty role. Will I need to dust off my Team Sandy martini glass to celebrate a second Oscar nomination? I certainly hope so!

The Father of My Children, Sandy Bullock Style

Last night, I caught the French film import du jour, Mia Hansen-Love's The Father of My Children, and I was far from impressed. The film is one of those movies where if it was made in English, no one would give a shit about it, but since it's spoken in a foreign tongue everyone immediately respects it. The story concerns a film producer whose production company is in massive debt with no way out. He tries to hide his concerns from his wife and three daughters, but, eventually, he can't anymore and spills everything to his wife. She tries to comfort him to no avail. The next morning, in an act of madness, he shoots himself in the head. The last hour of the film chronicles the rest of the family's attempts to overcome this tragedy. Tears are shed, shouting matches are had and dark family secrets are uncovered. If all of this sounds familiar, it all is and that's precisely where the problem lies. Everything about The Father of My Children is nicely done but there is a complete lack of ambition to push outside the boundaries of what you would expect from a film of this nature. The family is all lovey-dovey in the way families only in the movies are. And, even when their world is crumbling, there is no backlash, no sense that even for a second this might cripple them even for a brief period of time. You know the family is going to recover and that's that. Critics, like the one who wrote the blurb featured at the top of this poster on the left, praised The Father of My Children for its lack of sentimentality, as if being sentimental is the death knell for the movies. Sure, the film didn't need to be as sentimental as something like The Blind Side (few movies do), but a tad more dramatic tension, which could manifest itself as "sentimental," between the characters and their situation would have made for a better film. Instead, especially during that last hour, The Father of My Children flits around between various plot points, including the daughter finding out about her father's love child from before he married his mother, without ever coming to any sort of catharsis or reason of interest. When the daughter eventually meets the mother of her father's son and they talk for a bit where the mother reveals that her son and his father never really got along. As soon as that tidbit is thrown out there, this subplot is thrown out as quickly as it was brought up. Wouldn't the daughter be curious why the son doesn't get along with the father she loved so well? Is she at all curious about seeing another side to him? Apparently not, even though I assumed that was the whole point of bringing this whole illegitimate child up in the first place. I guess Hansen-Love wasn't interested in exploring that and that's her prerogative; what she was going for, however, totally escapes me. C+

All throughout the movie, I kept thinking about what a Hollywood remake of this film would look like. Sure, I mentioned that The Father of My Children is, essentially, a Hollywood film already, but there are moments that are far too subtle and un-histrionic for a major Hollywood tearjerker that would need to be amplified so us dumb Americans would get it. Actually, with just a couple of changes, I could see this as an Oscar contender for one of Hollywood's A-list actresses. Sure, the original French film is more about the father, but men aren't allowed to be emotional in Hollywood films so the actress will have to do all the heavy lifting. I ran through a score of capable actresses for my imaginary remake, but the one who made the most sense was good ole Sandy Bullock. With this film we'd get a Best of Both Worlds from her. In the first half we would get the fun, lovable, eternally charming Sandy that makes her so appealing in her romantic comedies. Then, in the second half, after her husband dies, Sandy the Strong Mama will come out and blow us all away. When she's upset, she's really going to be upset. When she has to put on a brave face for her girls, she make it the best damn brave face you've ever seen. When she faces the prospect of losing her husband's company, she's going to save that company even if it takes every last bit of her already waning strength left. When her daughter finds out about her husband's son, Sandy is going to bring everyone together and convince her daughter (and, therefore, the son, too) what a great man her dad was and the scene will end with a big emotional group hug that will bond them permanently. Okay, so maybe I'm being a little glib here, but the point still remains: if Sandy Bullock wants Oscar #2, she needs to get on an English-language remake of this movie and change a couple of minor details to suit both her persona and Oscar's taste. I think it can happen so let's make it work, people!

The Ladies of 2009

A couple of weeks ago, I gave props to the men of 2009. While I'm sure many of you appreciated the eye candy, I think we can all admit that 2009 was all about the women. For better or worse, these six women defined and dominated 2009. So, instead of lumping them with the men, I decided the ladies needed their own post so they could be fawned over and appreciated properly.

I envisioned this post as one of those Vanity Fair covers where seemingly random celebrities, given clever nicknames, congregate in a room in coordinating ensembles. Unfortunately, I don't have a budget and couldn't make it work (Tim Gunn would be so disappointed). I hope, however, that you enjoy what I came up with and will celebrate these glorious women for having a fantastic 2009.

Drew Barrymore
The Actress

Aside from Never Been Kissed, I've never been a big Drew Barrymore fan. That's not her fault exactly, I'm just not big on many of the Romcom Queens like Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock. What they do is all in good fun and, although it doesn't thrill me, who am I to say that they aren't "actors." Having true movie star presence is not something you can learn. If you do have it, it is something to be treasured, not frowned upon and degraded like most people seem to do. Drew has this quality, so I was curious to see how she would handle Little Edie in the made-for-TV movie Grey Gardens. I had never seen the acclaimed documentary or stage show of the same title, but I knew the general gist of the story. It would be an amazing opportunity for Barrymore to prove the haters the wrong, but also a tad perilous since one wrong move and she would be exiled back to doing one Fever Pitch after another for the next ten years. Thankfully, she absolutely nailed the performance, working wonders with an incredibly odd accent that would have tripped up other actors while still more emotionally gripping and compelling than I've ever seen her before. I know you're probably thinking, "She was great in one film, whoop-de-do. Why is she one of The Ladies of 2009?" Let me tell you why: a couple of days after Grey Gardens, I watched He's Just Not That Into You and thought to myself, "Damn, this movie needs Drew Barrymore." I secretly cheered everytime she came on-screen, loving her monologue after a long absence in the narrative about the problems that modern technology has on dating. When I am praying for more Drew Barrymore screentime and seriously considering seeing Everybody's Fine in theatres for her, you know she is having a kickass year.

Beyoncé
The Diva

For a woman who has literally done it all at least three or four times, it was exciting to see B (she's so huge now she only needs to be referred by a letter now!) surprise us yet again in 2009. Riding high on all of the 'Single Ladies' love from the end of 2008, B's big year kicked off at the Oscars. Was she nominated for that elusive statue she's been trying so hard to get? Unfortunately, no. But she was on-hand to take part in one of the best live performances of the year: the "The Musical is Back!" medley with...ummm...come to think of it, who else was on that stage? I can't remember because all I can recall is Beyoncé in all of her diva glory, coyly smiling while launching into a rendition of 'At Last' and launching herself to center stage when 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' came on. Then came the epic film of our times, the movie from 2009 I fondly think back on most often: Obsessed. Without Beyoncé, the film would have been close to unwatchable, but B decides add some, um, class to the film, especially during that epic catfight finale. If you ever wanted to see B headbutt Ali Larter and then drag her across the floor while yelling, "I'ma wipe the floor wit yo skinny ass!" you are in luck! Beyoncé is beyond brilliant in the film, managing to deliver a fantastic star performance in a film that should have been a complete snoozefest. Although not as iconic as 'Single Ladies,' the video for 'Sweet Dreams' became a must-watch literally everytime I hung out with my friends Kelli & Megan during the fall. My favorite bits? The dance breakdown during the "My guilty pleasure" verse and the indescribably weird gold corset/robot scene. I still have no clue what any of it meant but I was enchanted. When September came around, it was time to pick up her VMA's for 'Single Ladies' but I doubt even she could predict the shit that went down around her at the ceremony. The whole Kanye/Taylor feud has been discussed at length all over the interweb, but I just have to say that I loved both B's humility during the whole thing (she allowed Taylor to come up and finish her speech after she won Video of the Year) and her many "Bitch please" looks (as in, "Bitch please, do not get me involved in this" and "Bitch please, you shot your video in a high school?"). Finally, B capped off her year with two collaborations with another one of 2009's biggest artists: Lady GaGa. 'Telephone,' the second single from GaGa's The Fame Monster, hasn't officially been released yet, but it's a surefire hit in the making. Not only will the video be hot, but the song is incredible and B completely dominates her verse; one thing 'Telephone' is surely not is a disastuh. We did get the video for an extended version of 'Video Phone,' and while the song is utter shit that I can't stop listening to, the video is a fun romp of girls, guns and garish colors. Whew. Just listing all of B's accomplishments this year is exhausting. How one woman did all this in a span of 12 months is astounding.

Sandra Bullock
The Pro

Like I said when I talked about Drew Barrymore, I'm not big on the Romcom Queens. Sandra Bullock has been charming audiences for years but outside of Miss Congeniality (I've seen that movie way too many times to count) and Crash I either haven't seen her movies or haven't cared. When The Proposal made a shit-ton of money in June, I didn't really pay attention because the combination of Sandy + Ryan Reynolds + "They've fallen in love, isn't that adorable?" storyline held no interest for me. When previews for The Blind Side came out in September and Adam claimed that Sandra Bullock was an underdog in the Best Actress race, I guffawed at the cheesiness of the movie, Sandy's accent and the craziness of the possibility of her getting nominated. But then something happened and I did a complete 180. Out of nowhere, people started attacking Sandy's performance in The Blind Side and it's inexplicable popularity (the gross is already close to $200 million). So, as with any silly little feud, I had to take a side and I suddenly found myself on Team Bullock before I had even seen the movie. Just the thought of seeing Sandy at the Oscars, giving the middle finger to all the haters when they read off the nominees. Now that I've seen The Blind Side, I can say that even if she won't make my shortlist this year, Bullock deserves her Oscar nom. Sure, she relies on her charming personality, but she also completely nails the bitchy PTA mom part of her character. It may not be Erin Brockovich but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a good time. And at 45, the fact that Sandy is still entertaining audiences and raking in the cash is a nice kick in the balls to all the studio bosses who think actress' careers are over by 40.

Lady GaGa
The It Girl

It is scary to think about, but 15 months ago there was no Lady GaGa. She's become a part of our lives so quickly and so completely that it is hard to imagine a time when she wasn't a prominent feature of the pop music landscape. The greatest thing about GaGa is that she grew leaps in bounds in not just one but multiple ways over 2009. Her most noticeable change was through her music. She started 2009 riding off the success of 'Just Dance,' a simple little ditty about dancing to escape the worries of the day (an appropriate hit during the early days of the recession) and her music only grew more mature and considerably darker as the year progressed. First came 'Poker Face,' a great summer song with its simple hook and breezy message about the duality of sex and sexuality. Then 'Paparazzi' and its dark obsession with celebrity under the guise of a slick pop song. Finally came 'Bad Romance,' the #1 song of 2009 and true emotional epic, and the entire Fame Monster album, a far cry from the sunny and light tracks of The Fame. GaGa also became a legitimate fashion icon in 2009. From the beginning, GaGa was known for wearing odd clothes, often in clear danger of showing her vagina. As the year wore on, however, her choices remained just as weird but became increasingly more avant garde and fabulous. The VMA's, aside from the Taylor/Kanye feud, became all about "What is GaGa gonna wear next?" Will it be a 19th century masquerade ball mask? A red lace crown thing that covers her entire face? Or a cut up 80's wedding dress covered in blood? No one knows and that element of surprise keeps me entertained. The final, and possibly least discussed, reason why 2009 belonged to GaGa was the fact that she has become a gay icon practically overnight. The gays are usually fickle; we have our passing infatuations with celebrities, but once you're in with us, you're in for life. GaGa met some resistance initially from people who thought she was trying too hard to be Madonna, but, eventually, the majority of the gays caved in by the time 'Bad Romance' and The Fame Monster came out. GaGa's one of the few mainstream artists who have openly supported gays right from the beginning, catering to their love of money, boys and fashion and even performing at the big protest rally in Washington, D.C., instead of many "gay icons" who slowly lend their support as their career solidifies. She's here, she's queer-supporting, get used to it America and that's why I love her. If you think GaGa gives a flying fuck what you think about her, then your sadly mistaken. She's a true role model, someone whose attitude we can all embrace to become better and less judgmental people.

Demi Lovato
The Up-and-Comer

"Demi Lovato is pretty good as far as these things goes. She's a decent actress with a better than average voice for a Disney film, but she won't have a lasting career."

Boy, when I'm wrong, I'm really wrong. Back when I first saw Camp Rock, I never thought in a million years I would even think about Demi Lovato after those 90 minutes of pure visual and sonic torture, let alone adore her as much as I do now. She wasn't bad by any means, especially in comparison to co-stars Joe Jonas and Meghan Martin, but I was not particularly impressed. Like most Disney actors, she tried too hard to be funny and whenever a joke fell flat, she simply flashed her enormous smile as some sort of compensation. I wasn't buying it. I gave her first album, Get Back, a chance back in the beginning of the year but it was a bit too Jonasy for my taste (to be fair, I've recently come around on 'Get Back,' 'Lo Que Soy' and 'Behind Enemy Lines). When Here We Go Again came out in June or so, I gave it a shot and wasn't impressed at first. Everything sounded similar to the first album and I wasn't feeling it. Then I listened to it a few more times and became hooked. Unlike many of her Disney contemporaries, Demi can actually sing. I'm not going to deny that some of the Disney starlets have pleasant voices, but Demi's beyond-her-17-years maturity completely blows the out of the water. Here We Go Again is probably my most listened to album of the year and I won't get sick of it soon. Loving her album, I decided to give Demi another chance in the acting field by watching her Disney sitcom Sonny With a Chance. I was instantly hooked. Unlike most Disney shows where the star is the worst actor and least interesting cast member, Demi is actually an engaging personality and continuously improved her comedic chops throughout the season. By the time the episode "Cookie Monsters" (the one where she and Chad compete to sell more Blossom Scout cookies) rolled around in late November, the Camp Rock Demi was nothing but a distant memory. As if this stellar year wasn't enough, she contributed to the Disney Channel's charity single 'Send It On,' an attempt to cash-in on help end global warming. She sang with all of the Disney biggies--Miley, Selena and all of the Jonas Brothers--and, unsurprisingly, she blew them all way. Miley attempted to a sing-off with her at the end, but Demi was like, "Bitch please" and sang one big glory note to prove once and for all who should be the Queen of Disney. If Miley's not careful, 2010 will be the year Demi (rightfully) snatches that crown.

Rihanna
The Survivor

When reports broke that Chris Brown had horribly beaten his girlfriend Rihanna on the eve of the Grammy Awards, I was as stunned as everyone else was. Eventually, however, I turned into a strong black woman, rallying against Brown with an "Oh, HELL no!" How dare this moron beat up our pop princess. While I was preparing a petition to get Chris Brown the death penalty, Rihanna remained mum on the whole situation, much to the chagrin of a number of people (well, some people thought she was a bitch and deserved it, so I guess you can't please everyone). When she finally broke her silence in the fall, the reality became even scarier: if Rihanna, the woman who had spent a majority of 2007 and 2008 dominating the music world, can be abused, it can truly happen to anyone. In response to all the craziness that had gone down in 2009 and her new-found status as a poster child for woman's rights, she released Rated R, a dark meditation on violence, revenge and love gone bad. While obviously not as single heavy as Good Girl Gone Bad, Rated R proved that Rihanna is a true artist capable of intertwining personal situations into catchy, insanely glorious pop songs. That's not easy, my friends, and Rihanna did it with style and class.