Sunday, February 3, 2008

Superbowl Memories (That Don't Actually Involve the Superbowl)

2006: My friends and I are dying to go see Brokeback Mountain and make plans to see it that afternoon. Of course, a mega snowstorm hits and the roads are horrible. We decide to delay it until later in the afternoon and see if it clears up. One of my friends can't make it now because she has to work and she's pissed (we eventually saw it together a few weeks later, so it all turned out well). So, later in the day, my friend Ashley and I decide that it's "safe" to head out (there really was no way I wasn't seeing this movie). We make it there safely and finally see the movie. When the opening credits role and the title appears on the screen, Ashley leans over and, being the asshole she is, whispers, "I think that's supposed to say Bareback." When the movie ends and I'm still trying to process the film, she stands up and says, "Well, that was a little gay."

I also remember I was super pumped for the TCM premiere of Sunrise, which I had been dying to see for years. Don't ask me how I remember memory is a little fucked up.

2007: I actually watched part of the Superbowl with some friends, but I wasn't interested in the game or the commercials. No, instead I was waiting for Fergie's halftime performance. Imagine my surprise when I sit through all that lame ass football and the halftime show (which, with Prince, wasn't too bad) and there was no Fergie. Let me just tell you I was irate. The cherry on top of this crap sundae was the fact that she had performed earlier during the pregame show on VH1 and I had completely missed it. While looking for a clip of her performance, I somehow stumbled upon this clip of two barechested French men singing "A Whole New World" en français.

Later on that night, while flipping through the channels on TV, my friends and I ran across one of the greatest TV specials ever on the Christian channel. The special was about this girl who wanted to become a Christian singer and was on her way to success. Suddenly, she gets sick with this incurable "blood disease" that they refuse to give a name to. She gives up on life (at one point, when her manager asks her how it's going, she replies, "Oh, I'm just sitting here...waiting to die") but, with the help of a young gentleman caller and God, she rediscovers herself and *SPOILER ALERT* beats the incurable "blood disease." *END SPOILER ALERT* The reason this was so funny was because it was the most atrociously acted piece of crap since Gigli and the dialogue was so bad it was amazing (My favorite line: "If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they cure this blood disease?").

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