Dear Lady GaGa Fans:You're ruining Lady GaGa for me.Ever since I heard 'Just Dance' on the radio in late 2008, I have loved the woman known as GaGa. I defended her against many of her now rabid devotees who thought she was nothing but a Madonna wannabe (HA, remember those days?). Around the time of the 'Paparazzi' video, however, a lot of people saw that she was her own artist. The comparisons stopped and many of her one-time haters became hardcore fans overnight. With the 1-2-3-4 punch of her insane VMA performance, her 'Bad Romance' video, the release of The Fame Monster and her tour, GaGa's fanbase went mental in a short period of time. And this is precisely where the problem started.
The gays like to make fun of Justin Bieber and his devoted legion of tween fans, but, in all honesty, there's not much difference between a Bieberhead and a fanatical GaGa gay. The only thing that separates them is the fact that the gay can usually compose a proper sentence when announcing their devotion 14 times a day. And boy are the gays devoted. Every televised performance is not simply a great performance but, rather, "THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN WITH MY EYES. THE RESURRECTION OF JESUS WAS LESS SPECTACULAR THAN WHAT I AM WITNESSING. I HEART GAGA!" What about that Glee Goes GaGa episode which everyone thought was so amazing? That was an embarrassment both to the Glee cast and GaGa's music. Dressing up in GaGa's costumes, doing some rudimentary moves from her videos and singing a lame karaoke version of 'Bad Romance' does not count as a great musical number. Ask any gay man who watched that episode, however, and it comes across as if that sequence redefined the musical as we know it. I think I'm beginning to understand the problem Ann Coulter has conversing with liberals.
I could ignore many of these minor irritants by simply closing my Twitter feed, but the grander problem these sentiments address is both unavoidable and distressing. This all-around obsession with GaGa has gone from simple adoration to destructive. The gays are a notoriously fickle group. When they love you, they REALLY love you. But when they don't, you better watch out because the venom is going to come out. Xtina recently experienced this with her "GaGa imitation" 'Not Myself Tonight'. The gays turned on her so quickly and so unexpectedly, my head is still spinning. I'm literally scared for how Madonna and Britney are going to fare in this post-GaGa pop landscape. I'm already pretty sure they're going to be lambasted for "stealing" from GaGa even while they're doing the same thing they've been doing since GaGa was still Stefani. Let's be clear about one thing: GaGa did not invent the idea of a stage persona or using sexuality as a part of this persona, nor did she invent pop music. Lord knows I love her, but the idea that she invented anything new, besides her individual persona, is completely ridiculous.
So, GaGa fans, I am urging you to tone it down a bit. I understand that you love her--I certainly do, too--but you're turning a great woman into an unpleasant experience with every mention of her. Also, GaGa, please go away for awhile. After the 'Alejandro' video (and I'm already preparing for an onslaught of "GREATEST. VIDEO. EVER." tweets when that premieres), I don't want to see your face for six months. Give me a chance to miss you! Let the gays talk about something else for awhile instead of how you invented the long-form music video.
XOXO
Dame James
Once again, I'm in the mood to talk about music videos. Here are my takes on three recent releases from three of the biggest names in pop music today. I've been toying with the idea of writing about music videos more regularly--both current and classic ones. Before I dig into that, however, I know I need to talk about some of the biggies released earlier this year (namely both Rihanna videos and 'Telephone'). We'll see where that leads, but, for now, enjoy these write ups.Christina Aguilera 'Not Myself Tonight' # # # # #Before I start talking about the video, I have to get something off my chest. There's a lot of talk going around the interweb about Christina trying to imitate Lady GaGa after her immense success in the years Christina's been away. Mostly it's coming from fickle gays who have moved on to the "hot new thing" and labeled their once-beloved pop stars "has-beens," but the idea is still disconcerting. The button-pushing and outrageousness of Lady GaGa is nothing new; she's simply picking up the reins from Christina and Britney in their hey-day, who were, themselves, taking a cue from Madonna. In other words, Christina doesn't need to imitate GaGa. Have people forgotten those assless chaps from the 'Dirrty' video?! Or the striking iconography from Christina's early videos? If anything, GaGa has taken from Christina and used it in her own way for music videos such as 'Poker Face' and 'Paparazzi.' For Christina's 'Not Myself Tonight' video, she has been accused of ripping off GaGa's 'Bad Romance,' but, in all actuality, it's really an update of Madonna's 'Express Yourself.' An extremely desperate one, but an update nonetheless. Christina has always known how to sell her sexuality. While Britney was always the naughty, "who me?" innocent, Christina was more confident in her sexuality with a certain rawness that made her a refreshing alternative to virgin pop stars like Mandy and Jessica. By the time 'Dirrty' came around, assless chaps and all, we were completely non-fazed by how in-your-face the song and video were because of Christina's sexual persona. 'Not Myself Tonight' incorporates every sexual "deviancy" you could possibly think of--bondage, S&M, lesbianism, orgies--but none of it feels like anything more than hollow gestures. Christina has never needed all of this to come across as sexy and nearly three minutes of it is overkill. When Britney is at home watching the video and thinking to herself, "Wow, even I wouldn't do this disgusting shit in my video," you know you have a problem. She's so busy exploring just how far she can push the envelope that the video becomes nothing more than a collage of Christina in dominatrix gear. If, by paying homage to 'Express Yourself,' she was attempting some sort of commentary on how every "new" aggressive female in pop music is really paying tribute to someone before them, all of that was lost the minute she appeared on-screen with an blinged-out S&M gag in her mouth.Beyoncé 'Why Don't You Love Me' # # # # #B is back with yet another single from her I Am...Sasha Fierce album and ready to set the world afire with her latest video creation. The clip is not as revelatory as 'Single Ladies' or 'Ring the Alarm' (hell, it's not even 'Sweet Dreams') but it definitely has its moments. The general gist of the video is that Beyoncé plays a perfect 1950's housewife who wonders why, even though she's the perfect woman, her man doesn't love her. That's really about it as the five minute clip consists mainly of B posing while doing various household tasks such as the laundry or the dishes. What saves this video from damnation, however, is its commitment to the era it is portraying. Not only are the costumes and sets representative of the 1950's, but the video also adds small touches that enhance the experience. The opening credits sound exactly like a 50's sitcom intro; at some point, I expected the announcer to say that the video was sponsored by Colgate. I also loved the graininess of the film stock and how it contributed to giving the video the appearance of amateur video from the time. 'Why Don't You Love Me' isn't a masterpiece, but it will definitely tide us over until whenever B decides to release a new album.Miley Cyrus 'Can't Be Tamed' # # # # #Miley has been spending a lot of her time recently defending the sexy new image she's been projecting with 'Can't Be Tamed.' Parents are outraged that their wholesome Miley is wearing "provocative" outfits and singing lines like, "I go through guys like money flyin' out their hands." In all honesty, though, who didn't see this coming? Ever since that controversial Annie Leibovitz photo which dared to show her's naked back (the scandal!), Miley has taken the doe-eyed innocent approach to portraying her sexuality: she'd do something scandalous, the public would be outraged, she'd apologize and claim she was misunderstood and the whole thing would start over again. With 'Can't Be Tamed,' however, she's letting everything out in the open for the first time and isn't apologizing for it. The video opens up with Miley, a "rare bird in captivity for the first time," trapped in a birdcage for all to see and comment on. It may not be particularly subtle commentary on her position in today's pop culture, but it's something that needs to be said, particularly since the rest of the video is about her breaking free from these past constraints. The rest of the video isn't particularly groundbreaking, however Miley is definitely working on her burgeoning star mojo. I truly believe that all you need for a great music video is some kind of a hook--whether it's a particular set, dance, costume or hairstyle--and use it to the benefit of both your star persona and the song. I believe that Miley's bird costume is just strange enough yet entirely memorable and iconic to become her ticket to legitimate crossover fame. If she works this right, it could become her Catholic schoolgirl uniform or her red leather jumpsuit á la Britney.
Previous installments: #100-81 #80-61 #60-41
40. Victoria Beckham 'Let Your Head Go'2003. From Let Your Head Go/This Groove.Okay, so I'm not going to accuse Vicky B of being the greatest singer on the planet. What she accomplishes on 'Let Your Head Go,' however, is a prime example of one of my guilty pleasures: the less-than-stellar singer who relies on something else to make a hot track. It may not be 'And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going,' but this song is eternally listenable.
39. Blu Cantrell 'Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!)'2001. From So Blu.Who didn't jam out to this song at least once back in 2001? Blu's spirited tale of revenge and love gone wrong was one of the big girl power anthems of the decade. After this song, I know that if anyone has the balls to cheat on me, I'm not going to get angry--I'm just going to have a large garage sale.
38. No Doubt 'It's My Life'2003. From The Singles 1992-2003.I think this is my favorite No Doubt song, but everytime I think of it, I remember this ridiculous conversation I had with my grandma about the music video. Her idea of a good singer is someone who just stands there and sings so when she saw Gwen Stefani wildly trashing about in the music video, she started complaining about today's entertainers not having any talent and "Back in my day," etc. I defended Gwen, trying to convince my grandma she was just acting (and she was on death row in the video for God's sake!), but she was not having it. Finally, I gave up because if there's one thing you can't do, it's change my grandmother's mind.
37. Missy Elliott 'Get Ur Freak On'2001. From Miss E...So Addictive.Missy's standard; if she were to die right now, this is the song everyone would be using to memorialize her.
36. Eminem 'Lose Yourself'2002. From 8 Mile (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack).No matter what stupid shit Eminem raps about or how lame his gimmick continues to be, I remind myself that for a brief period of time, he was actually relevant and released a couple of classic tracks. 'Lose Yourself' is, undeniably, one of these tracks.
35. Sugababes 'Freak Like Me'2002. From Angels With Dirty Faces.For all intents and purposes, this update of the mid-90's Adina Howard hit shouldn't have worked. Instead of merely singing the original over again, the 'Babes tailored the song to fit their sound and ended up with their sexiest song until 'Push the Button.'
34. The Killers 'Mr. Brightside'2004. From Hot Fuss.Pure adrenaline rush. Everytime this song comes on, I just can't help myself and start screaming every word. At the same time, however, it's also one of the saddest songs I've ever encountered.
33. Christina Aguilera 'Fighter'2003. From Stripped.Xtina's defiant battle cry against all the haters is yet another example of my adoration for the subgenre I call Pop Songs as Personal Expression. I undervalued this one back in the day, but over the years, it's often the one I think back of first when recalling Christina during her dirrty Xtina days.
32. Duffy 'Warwick Avenue'2008. From Rockferry.A deceptively simple song with some of the most beautiful lyrics I've ever heard. Duffy will always have my heart thanks to this song.
31. Rihanna 'Disturbia'2008. From Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded.What we originally thought was a creepy pop song from our newest pop princess has become a precursor to the scarily dark and hardened Rated R. Still, without a doubt, the best single she has ever released (that is, unless she releases 'Fire Bomb').
30. Fergie featuring will.i.am 'Fergalicious'2006. From The Duchess.She's not Bob Dylan, so you can suck it if you object to her on the grounds that she doesn't make "real" music. I love the ingenious of this song and I don't care if you find me completely shallow. Can you think of any other singer around with the audacity and gusto to pull off a line like "I be up at the gym, just workin' on my fitness/He's my witness"?
29. The Corrs 'Breathless'2000. From In Blue.I find, in general, that The Corrs are pretty lame as far as musicians go. In 2000, however, they struck gold (with me, anyways) with the eternally catchy and forever endearing 'Breathless.' I remember how I used to annoy one of my friends in seventh grade by singing this song obnoxiously. Ah, good times.
28. Groove Armada featuring Mutya Buena 'Song 4 Mutya (Out of Control)'2007. From Soundboy Rock.For whatever reason, 'Song 4 Mutya' reminds me of the first day of spring when you can finally take a drive with the windows rolled down. Besides, how awesome it that the song incorporates the singer's name into the narrative? You don't get that much outside of a Fergie song (see: 'Fergalicious' at #30).
27. Kanye West featuring Syleena Johnson 'All Falls Down'2004. From The College Dropout.It wasn't until a couple of years after 'All Falls Down''s initial run on the charts that I actually took the time to listen to the lyrics and what they were truly about. Well, color me surprised that Kanye, unlike so many other useless rappers around, was pulling off a social critique of excessive consumer spending, people living beyond their means and insecurity. Say what you want about his personality, Kanye is a rapper who actually has something to say; we need more of that around, don't you think?
26. Britney Spears 'Toxic'2003. From In the Zone.A Britney song that even non-Britney fans can enjoy without feeling too guilty.
25. Miley Cyrus 'See You Again'2008. From Hannah Montana 2: Meet Miley Cyrus.I wanted to resist. Lord knows I tried. But after listening to it 25 times in a row during a trip to the mall sophomore year of college--in a moment of my life straight out a teen movie montage--I fell head over heals in love with Miley and her best friend Leslie. Love or hate everything else Miley does and stands for (Lord knows I'm super critical), 'See You Again' is undeniably an unapologetically pop gem.
24. Madonna 'Don't Tell Me'2001. From Music.I swear on my life the video for 'Don't Tell Me' turned me gay.
23. Stacie Orrico '(There's Gotta Be) More To Life'2003. From Stacie Orrico.I realize that this is hardly the most sophisticated song ever written, but my 15 year old self connected deeply with Ms. Orrico's ode to searching and hoping for something more in life. If I was on American Idol and tried to manipulate the audience with a sappy story, this is the song that would be playing in the background.
22. Pussycat Dolls 'Buttons'2006. From PCD.I credit my re-emergence into mainstream pop music with this song. No matter what I did during the summer of 2006, I could not avoid 'Buttons.' I wanted to hate it at first, but eventually the Dolls wore me down and the song became too damn catchy to hate. When I left for college in September, I started getting hooked again to pure pop music; without 'Buttons' there to prove how great it can be when done right, Lord knows what I'd be listening to now.
21. Outkast 'Ms. Jackson'2001. From Stankonia.How on Earth can you not fall in love with a hook like "I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson. Woooo!"? In a decade full of groundbreaking and genre-crossing hip-hop from the duo, 'Ms. Jackson' is a true highlight of their genius.
Previous installments: #100-81 #80-61
60. Amy Winehouse 'Back to Black'2007. From Back to Black.If 'Rehab' was the song to show the world exactly who Amy Winehouse was, 'Back to Black' proved that she was, first and foremost, a musician. Winehouse, the closest the 2000's could ever refer to as a torch singer, reveals layers of hurt and devastation in the deceptively simple lyrics in ways unmatched by anyone. 'Back to Black' is definitive proof that a world without Amy Winehouse is one that is simply unlivable.
59. T.A.T.U. 'All the Things She Said'2003. From 200 KM/H in the Wrong Lane.Can you name a better pop song by two Russian lesbians about coming out of the closet? I didn't think so. Long after the novelty of the rampant lesbianism wore off, the song remains one of the strongest pop songs of the decade. 'All the Things She Said' is proof that pop songs can be about more than just dancing, love and having a good time.
58. Shakira 'Underneath Your Clothes'2002. From Laundry Service.The perfect Shakira song. 'Underneath Your Clothes' combines everything we love about her into an amazing 3 minute and 45 second package: her trademark odd, almost indescribable lyrics, her inimitable vocal warble which is both unusual and beautiful at the same time and a divalicious nature that still allows her to be humble (like her breasts) and approachable. Shakira is truly one of a kind in today's pop culture.
57. Destiny's Child 'Survivor'2001. From Survivor.Suppose you are an R&B girl group, recently crossing over to Top 40 in a major way, and you have just undergone your second major lineup change in a year. How on Earth do you combat the haters who think you are over before you even begin? Well, if you're Beyoncé, Kelly and Michelle, you come out with a hot track aimed right at the haters to stop them right in their tracks. My love for Pop Songs as Personal Expression can be traced back to this one and few have gotten even close to matching it.
56. O-Town 'All or Nothing'2001. From O-Town.Forget NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys, O-Town was by far the greatest boy band of the decade (To be fair, however, it's like comparing finding dog shit in your living room to finding dog shit in your bedroom). Lyrically, there's nothing much to celebrate about 'All or Nothing,' but the boys really sell the song, turning it into one of my favorite shout-worthy power ballads.
55. Christina Aguilera 'Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You)'2000. From Christina Aguilera.The album version of this song is blah, but the radio edit makes up for it tenfold. And there's no denying the iconographic music video; I still think about the white outfit Christina wears in the video.
54. Ms. Jade featuring Timbaland and Nelly Furtado 'Ching Ching'2002. From Girl Interrupted.In a decade where Timbaland made the enormous jump to the mainstream, it's still a shame that one of his best efforts remains largely forgotten amid his larger hits. Amid an insane, alliterative Furtado background vocal, 'Ching Ching' largely plays out like a classic he said/she said song. Timbaland's verse is strong but Ms. Jade dominates, angrily lashing out against all the "gangsta" bullshit she had to put up with while wearing the "wifey and mother/cousin, sister and brother/accountant, lawyer and lover" roles in the relationship. She may have been treated like a second-class citizen in the relationship but she'll be damned if he gets away with it.
53. iio 'Rapture'2002. From Poetica.This song makes me want to buy a pacifier, take some E and dance at a rave for 14 hours straight like I'm Andrew Garfield in Boy A.
52. Kylie Minogue 'The One'2008. From X.A typical love ballad done up in an atypical up-tempo, electropop manner which only heightens the emotions and beauty of the song. 'The One' is another game-changer from Kylie, proving that after 20 years at the top she is still willing to experiment a bit and find ways to expand her sound to unparalleled heights. I have a feeling this will be a song more people will be talking about into the next decade.
51. Alphabeat 'Fascination'2008. From This is Alphabeat."They're like an edgier Same Difference!" was my first reaction to Alphabeat when Dave introduced them to me earlier this year. It was love at first listen for me; their carefree, neo-80's sound was right up my alley from the beginning. 'Fascination,' like the lyrics suggest, is pure exaltation. Why someone hasn't used this song in a dance montage in a movie yet remains a mystery to me.
50. Girls Aloud 'Untouchable'2009. From Out of Control.When someone called Girls Aloud's nearly seven minute long epic 'Untouchable' this generation's 'Bohemian Rhapsody,' they were not exaggerating one bit. 'Untouchable' is the epitome of the surreal electropop the Girls explored heavily on their Out of Control album. The raping of the beauty and ballsiness of this song at the hands of the three and a half minute radio edit remains one of the greatest tragedies of the decade. What should have been an easy #1 hit became the Girls first single to land outside the Top 10. Oh well. The public has proven time and time again incapable of recognizing genius when it is delivered to them on a silver platter. 'Untouchable' will forever be a fan favorite and one to remind us of the riskiness of pop music.
49. The Killers 'When You Were Young'2006. From Sam's Town."He doesn't look a thing like Jesus/But he talks like a gentleman." If you don't like this lyric, there's really no hope for you.
48. Mya 'Case of the Ex'2000. From Fear of Flying.I will admit that with Mya's diminishing status as a popstar (or even a star at all), I'm not as crazy about this song as I once was. But nostalgia is a bitch sometimes and I have to give props to 'Case of the Ex,' which is still a damn catchy number and an important song from my awkward junior high period.
47. Britney Spears 'I'm a Slave 4 U'2001. From Britney.Oh that Britney. If there's one thing she knows how to do extremely well, it is inciting controversy and 'I'm a Slave 4 U' was her masterpiece in that regards. Remember the shit storm that erupted simply from the title leaking? What is easily forgotten is that 'I'm a Slave 4 U' is one of her best songs, a fantastic early example of the hip hop/pop hybrid that quickly dominated the decade. Plus, I must admit that somewhere there is videotaped evidence of me doing a really awkward and embarrassing dance to this song. Yes, there is a boa involved as well.
46. ATC 'Around the World (La La La La La)'2000. From Planet Pop.When so many songs I absolutely loved in junior high sound like complete shit ten years later, it is refreshing to find a song, especially one as niche as 'Around the World,' that is just as strong, if not stronger, than it was back in the day.
45. Pussycat Dolls 'Stickwitu'2005. From PCD.If the gays are ever allowed to marry, this will for sure be my wedding song. 'I Hate This Part' is probably a stronger ballad overall, but there's something about the cheesiness of the lyrics combined with the alarmingly anti-feminist tone of the song (I'm not going to find anyone who will love me more than you so I guess I'll just keep on dating you) that has me hooked every damn time.
44. Danity Kane 'Damaged'2008. From Welcome to the Dollhouse.I tried to resist since Danity Kane is nothing more than a second-rate knock off of the Pussycat Dolls, but I'll be damned if I couldn't get this song out of my head the entire summer of 2008. If that's not the sign of a perfectly done pop song, I don't know what is.
43. Christina Aguilera, P!nk, Lil' Kim and Mya 'Lady Marmalade'2001. From Moulin Rouge! Soundtrack.In a new era when singers collaborate with other pop singers or rappers and every other single, will the world ever witness a collaboration as epic as the one assembled for this cover of the disco classic. I highly doubt it and, in all honestly, who would want to be compared to this outing anyways. Everything about this song is perfection, from P!nk's trademarked attitude, Lil' Kim's gold digging rap and Xtina in all of her big hair glory swallowing the song whole with her over-the-top vocal exercises (and did I mention her enormous hair?).
42. Gwen Stefani 'Hollaback Girl'2005. From Love. Angel. Music. Baby.Even with its massive popularity, I'm still baffled at how 'Hollaback Girl' became a hit in the first place. With an odd, "stomp the yard" style hook and a cheerleading cheer as its main attention grabber, 'Hollaback Girl' is a downright unusual pop song and normally America ignores the unusual in favor of the rote. What's even more surprising is that given the large amount of times I have heard this song on the radio, it still feels as fresh as the first couple of times I heard it. Now that shit is bananas.
41. Carrie Underwood 'Before He Cheats'2007. From Some Hearts.As I stated in the post where I named 'Before He Cheats' the number one song of 2007, I'm still fucking scared of Carrie Underwood. She may seem all sweet and innocent, but you cross her just once and she will fucking cut you like she is Dame Judi Dench, no questions asked. If only there were more female country artists ready and willing to stand up for themselves like Underwood does here. Maybe country music would start to be more listenable.
The gays like to make fun of Justin Bieber and his devoted legion of tween fans, but, in all honesty, there's not much difference between a Bieberhead and a fanatical GaGa gay. The only thing that separates them is the fact that the gay can usually compose a proper sentence when announcing their devotion 14 times a day. And boy are the gays devoted. Every televised performance is not simply a great performance but, rather, "THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN WITH MY EYES. THE RESURRECTION OF JESUS WAS LESS SPECTACULAR THAN WHAT I AM WITNESSING. I HEART GAGA!" What about that Glee Goes GaGa episode which everyone thought was so amazing? That was an embarrassment both to the Glee cast and GaGa's music. Dressing up in GaGa's costumes, doing some rudimentary moves from her videos and singing a lame karaoke version of 'Bad Romance' does not count as a great musical number. Ask any gay man who watched that episode, however, and it comes across as if that sequence redefined the musical as we know it. I think I'm beginning to understand the problem Ann Coulter has conversing with liberals.
