David Archuleta and Kathy Griffin: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Because I Can't Resist an Easy Target

A couple of days ago, MTV announced their nominees for their annual Movie Awards (which has produced some illustrious winners as Napoleon Dynamite for Best Movie and The Governator, Keanu Reeves and Jim Carrey--for Ace Ventura!--as Best Actor) and since they're both stupid beyond relief and as ridiculous as always, they're a prime target for my comments. Prepare the snark-fest!

Best Movie
The Dark Knight
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Iron Man
Slumdog Millionaire
Twilight

Wow, we're actually off to a decent start here. Way to go, MTV! It's not exactly what I would have chosen, but it's no worse than Oscar's picks this year. Shitdog is the worst of the bunch here, no surprise, but the nominees include two mediocre, bordering on dislike films (Iron Man and Twilight) and two quality crowd-pleasers (Dark Knight and HSM3); compare to Oscar with two shits (Shitdog and F/N), two mediocre (Benjamin Button and Reader) and one excellent film (Milk). Not bad for an award's show aimed solely at the masses.

Who I Voted for: High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Best Actor
Christian Bale, The Dark Knight
Robert Downey, Jr., Iron Man
Vin Diesel, Fast & Furious
Zac Efron, High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Shia LaBeouf, Eagle Eye

And now is the point where MTV shows their true colors. Best Actor has traditionally been their worst category, often awarding some idiot action star for kicking ass or something of the sorts. This year? What do you know, four of the five nominees are in meatheaded action films. I normally enjoy Christian Bale and RDJ and they both gave serviceable performances, but not exactly earth-shattering or even that interesting. I haven't seen Eagle Eye, but I sincerely doubt my favorite person on the planet Shia LaBeouf was even given a chance to act in that one. And when I think of actors stretching their acting muscles, my mind goes straight to Vin Diesel in Fast & Furious. I'm sure there were scenes full of depth and pathos when Vin was driving in the 14th race in the film. Ugh.

Who I Voted for: Zac Efron, High School Musical 3: Senior Year (Did Efron have to act much? I don't think so. But he radiated as much charisma and movie star charm as RDJ did in a much, much better film)

Best Actress
Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Angelina Jolie, Wanted
Anne Hathaway, Bride Wars
Kristen Stewart, Twilight
Kate Winslet, The Reader

What. the. fuck. This is, without a doubt, the most fucked up, random list of nominees you could ever generate--and only one (okay, two...in parts) legitimately good performance. Angelina Jolie was better in Wanted than she was in her Oscar-nominated performance in Changeling, but that's really not saying much. Taraji P. Henson gave the best performance but, yet again, that's really not saying much either. I love me some Winslet, but The Reader is far from her best performance (and I'm curious why the tweens voted for her...surely they didn't see this movie). Now that we've gotten those out of the way, let's discuss Anne Hathaway, shall we? I love this woman and this love only grows deeper every day, but her "performance" in Bride Wars was a trainwreck from beginning to end. It's not really her fault--there was absolutely nothing she could have done to turn that piece of shit character to get more comedy out of it--but if you we're going to nominate her for something, why not Get Smart, which wasn't great but better in comparison or Rachel Getting Married, since they were already in the mood for "weird," Oscar pictures.

Who I Voted for: Kristen Stewart, Twilight

Breakthrough Male
Ben Barnes, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Taylor Lautner, Twilight
Dev Patel, Slumdog Millionaire
Robert Pattinson, Twilight
Bobb'e J. Thompson, Role Models

Is there really any doubt that Robert Pattinson is going to win this? I know that this category is basically "Hottest Guy" but I've heard all sorts of bad things about Ben Barnes's performance in Narnia. And Taylor Lautner? Really? He was in Twilight for, what, five minutes. I'm guessing it's just anticipation for New Moon, where he has a much bigger role.

Who I Voted for: Bobb'e J. Thompson, Role Models (He was funny, sure, but any child actor could have said the outrageous lines he was given and but just as good. But do I really have any choice?)

Breakthrough Female
Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
Kat Dennings, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Vanessa Hudgens, High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Freida Pinto, Slumdog Millionaire
Amanda Seyfreid, Mamma Mia!
La Tisdale, High School Musical 3: Senior Year

My favorite category this year by a long shot. Cyrus, Hudgens and Pinto are shi: I know this and you know this. But Amanda Seyfreid?! Kat Dennings?! La FREAKING Tisdale?! Be still my heart!

Who I Voted for: La Tisdale, High School Musical 3: Senior Year (surprise surprise!)

American Idol Recap: Top 4 Edition

Okay, I'm not doing my usual tier thing because 1) if you read this blog often enough, you'll know exactly how it will end up, so why bother? and 2) I'm so pissed at tonight's Idol show that I just need to rant about it to get it out of my system. First of all, the show's treatment of my Kris was abominable. We all know that this week was going to be rough for our favorite mellow, hip indie fellow, but he was completely fucked over by the show at every twist and turn. After finishing his duet with Danny (And, seriously, what the fuck was with that? I don't watch Idol to see stupid duets thrown together for no reason other than to fill time. What happened to having each contestant sing two songs?), Simon declared Danny to be the "winner" of the duet. Well, of course he was the winner since he SHOUTED over Kris anytime they had to sing together. Besides, the song was not suited to Kris's voice at all. Then, after a short commercial break, Kris had to come back out and sing his solo. I was a bit nervous about his choice of The Beatles' "Come Together," especially after Carly Smithson knocked it out of the park last year with the best performance of the entire season, but then he started singing and, of course, added his own personal touch to it. Was it his best performance? No, but that doesn't mean it deserved the beating it got from the judges. I'm just wondering what the hell they were expecting. Kris wasn't suddenly going to grow a big, meaty voice over the course of a week and compete with the others in that way, so he did what he always does: adding a real emotional layer that is absent from the two favorites (Danny and Adam) in this competition.

While we're on the topic of those two, can we talk about how incredibly shitty their performances were? Adam went back to his old shrieking routine and, of course, the judges loved it with Simon going so far as to proclaim it the best of the night. Oh, did I mention he went first? Seriously Simon? Could you be any more obvious? Danny was just as bad and that horrific last note on "Dream On" made me want to jump off a five story building and smash my head onto the ground. Thankfully, the judges were the harshest on him they've have been all season. It was a complete trainwreck from beginning to end and an embarrassment to all involved. Allison picked the right artist and song for her voice and I'm glad that she stood up to Kara's absolutely stupid idea that she should have sung "Piece of My Heart" since, like Allison said, that has been done so many times.

One final complaint: when they were doing the duets, why did they pair the two rockers against the two non-rockers and then act like it was fair for Simon to compare them? That would be like having James Blunt and Leona Lewis team up to compete with Missy Elliott and Eve in a rap contest; it makes no fucking sense at all. If they were smart, they would have split Adam and Allison up to see the rock magic they could bring to the others. Then again, this season of Idol hasn't exactly been known for being smart.

What Does My Banner and Twitter Have in Common?

...Er, nothing. Other than the fact that I wanted to talk about both of them and this seemed like the most appropriate time.

First of all, I finally got a Twitter. Rejoice! I was hesitant at first, but Dave coerced me into getting one and I did. I've added as many people as I could think of, but if I'm forgetting you, please let me know. And make sure to add me as a friend (or follow me or whatever the fuck they call it on this site)!


Secondly, in case anyone noticed, I changed my banner a week or two ago. Isn't it pretty? Well, I think so and that's all that counts. I bet you're curious, though, why I put Zac and Leighton together in my banner. Here's the truth: I have no real reason. I just thought they looked awfully purty next to each other and made a banner. But wouldn't they be great in a movie together? Supposedly, they were originally set to star in that re-imagining of Beauty and the Beast that Alex Pettyfer and Vanessa Hudgens are now supposed to do. What a shame--they would have been absolutely perfect for that.

2008 Diva Cup Awards: Best Supporting Actress

Hiam Abbass
The Visitor
Talk about doing a lot with very little. Abbass's character is the traditional self-sacrificing, mother-in-distress we've seen since the beginnings of narrative cinema. This doesn't mean, however, that Abbass's performance is anything short of spectacular. She doesn't do much, but what she does do will break your heart. Motherly love has never been so pure and unconditional. And her scenes with Richard Jenkins? Immaculately underplayed, matching Jenkins and the film exquisitely. I honestly can't wait to dig into Abbass's filmography now (and hopefully get the chance to see her upcoming Lemon Tree).

Penélope Cruz
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
The film before her entrance is a complete mess--a disgusting sexual romp in which a swarmy Javier Bardem tries to bed a straight-laced Rebecca Hall and a sexually liberated (or so she thinks) ScarJo that's so dirty I needed penicillin afterward--but once Penélope Cruz's Maria Elena emerges, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is never the same. Cruz's Maria Elena is beautiful, fiery, passionate and hot-tempered, but also tormented, needy and jealous. Her character goes through 100 different moods and emotions during the course of the film and is written in the usual Woody Allen women-are-neurotic-nutjobs way, but it never feels cheap or shameless. Cruz makes Maria Elena desperately human, driven by the same needs and desires we are--the only difference is they are turned up to eleven for all to see.

Rosemarie DeWitt
Rachel Getting Married
When we first meet DeWitt's Rachel, we come to believe that she is the victim, a pawn trapped in Kym's delirious game of guilt and passing the blame. Later on, however, after Kym's excruciatingly self-centered rehearsal dinner toast, Rachel lashes out at her and we begin to see a different side of her. Is she really the villian in this whole thing? Who knows. Out conception of her is so radically different at this moment that it would take a strong actress to make it work. Thankfully, DeWitt is just the woman this film needs.

Ashley Tisdale
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
From my profile of La Tisdale for the 2008 Supporting Actress Blog-a-thon: "HSM3 is more concerned with the bland relationship between singing jock Troy (Zac Efron) and his annoying sweetheart Gabriella (Vanessa Hudgens) than anything else, so that means all of the supporting characters are relegated to the sidelines even more than before. But that's no problem for La Tisdale, who often does her best work from the edges, upstaging the other hapless performers like nobody's business. When the entire cast is gathered together for the first time at the spring musical tryouts, no one in the cast besides Troy is given much to do, but La Tisdale knows how to focus the attention of a scene on her whenever the script blindly ignores her. Her comedic timing on such simple quips as her sarcastic "Yipee" when the rest of the Wildcats decide to join the play at Gabriella's insistence or "Genius," delivered with such eye-rolling deliciousness when Mrs. Darbus announces the subject of this year's spring musical, is light years ahead of anyone on the cast. Director Kenny Ortega hasn't had to deal with someone with this style of over-the-top, nearly drag queen-esque, comedic chops since Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus (a performer Tisdale is eerily reminiscent of) but, thankfully, he lets her perform with reckless abandon all over the film."

Marisa Tomei
The Wrestler
I have to admit that until last year, I never really cared much about Marisa Tomei's last year. I have never seen her controversial Oscar-winning work in My Cousin Vinny and, in fact, the only two films I had seen of hers until last year were In the Bedroom (don't remember much) and, randomly Chaplin (I've seen this movie at least twice and had no idea she was in it). Then came her subtly crafted performance in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead and I was intrigued by what Ms. Tomei had to offer. And now here we are at The Wrestler, her Oscar-nominated triumph where subtlety is the name of the game. Tomei has everything going against her--no big showy scenes to work with and an absolutely clichéd "whore with a heart of gold" character--yet she still manages to craft an absolutely compelling character. Her best moment is during the scene where she's wandering around the strip club, trying to entice a guy to let her give him a private dance, and she keeps getting rejected. She tries to keep up her spirits, but you can see in her face how much it's hurting her to be rejected just because of her age. It's at this moment that we realize her character is supposed to mirror The Ram's downfall and make it all the more uncomfortable and hard to watch.

If Only There Were Six: Isla Fisher, Definitely, Maybe

Rest of the Top 10: Dianne Wiest, Synecdoche, New York...Anne Consigny, A Christmas Tale...Ari Graynor, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist...Alexis Zegerman, Happy-Go-Lucky

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Penélope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Playing Catch Up with 2009

We're almost one-third of the way through 2009 already (I know, can you believe it?) and I've seen exactly seven movies from this year. Pitiful, huh? I know it's not exactly my fault since so few films of quality are released in the winter, but I do think I could have done better (and I'm still behind on a couple of movies like I Love You, Man, Observe & Report, State of Play and three of the biggies released last weekend). What's even more pitiful than that is that I've written about none of these films at all. So, I've decided to remedy that and report on the last four movies I've seen.

Let's start with the least of these: the Zac Efron-starring 17 Again. If you've been paying any attention to my constantly updated list of film screenings on the right, you'll get the gist of my opinion of the movie. However, I thought it deserved a little more explanation. I wasn't expecting much going in, but 17 Again was for me what Twilight was too all of those tweenage girls. I was just excited to see that opening shot of Zac shooting baskets shirtless and am not embarassed to admit that I was squealing with delight the whole time. Sigh. Anyways, the film isn't all about Zac's beautiful chest and eyes and face; he actually has comedic timing and the possibility of being a legitimate movie star one day. You have to give Efron credit for delivering monologues as atrociously written as the ones he is given during the lunchroom and health class scenes with such finesse that they actually kinda sorta work. He even manages to nail the big dramatic moment. You know, the scene where he is reading that letter to his wife (Leslie Mann) and starts bawling his eyes out nearly had me in tears. Apparently, when Zac Efron cries, the whole world cries with him. Plus, he is given ample support from both Leslie Mann as his wife, who subtly and cordially works to make Zac's performance funnier, and Sterling Knight, whose stone-faced stoicism and delivery is a nice change of pace from the eager-to-please Disney hams we've come to expect. Unfortunately, I wasn't buying Michelle Trachtenberg's performance for a minute, especially the part where she wouldn't have sex with her boyfriend, because all I could imagine was Georgina Sparks and you know she would have been snorting cocaine of her boyfriend's dick in a hot minute. I also hate how the movie's "happy" ending is that Mann ends up with an old, flabby Matthew Perry instead of Zac. She works that hard to look that amazing and this is her reward? Oh hell no. Someone needs to rewrite this movie ASAP. Movie: C-, Zac Efron's Performance: B+, Zac Efron Sans Shirt: A++++++++

Next up is the latest attempt from Beyoncé to prove she's a legitimate actress: Obsessed. Was her attempt a success: Yes, but not in the way she expected. She's definitely the most interesting thing about this too long and flatlining Fatal Attraction ripoff, you can hardly wait for her to appear on screen next and when she does appear, she commands the screen like no other, but I'd hardly say it's because she's anywhere near being a good actress. Rather, Beyoncé possesses the rare ability to turn any line into both a bad-beyond-belief, Razzie-worthy reading and a hilariously campy battle cry that advances her character in ways you have to see to believe. Her character undergoes such a wild transformation from the first scene to the last that you manage to believe her insane phone message to the woman obsessed with her husband: "You know who this is. You came into my house. You touched my child. You think you're crazy? I'ma show you crazy. Try me, bitch." Has she seen the "Ring the Alarm" video? Beyoncé will not take shit from anyone. And when she utters the line "I'ma wipe the floor wit yo skinny ass!" during that insanely hilarious battle sequence at the very end (this coming soon after Beyoncé headbutts--yes headbutts her like she's fucking Andre the Giant-- Ali Larter) all hell breaks loose. The film before this moment is a true stinker, D+ at best, but adding in Beyoncé and the camp factor, it's an easy B+.

Now let's move on to a legitmately good film: Christine Jeffs' Sundance hit Sunshine Cleaning. The film has unfortunately been branded as yet another "quirky indie comedy in the Little Miss Sunshine vein" like it was a bad thing. Personally, I'd rather see more films like Sunshine Cleaning than yet another Transformers 2 or another entry in the endless line of brainless popcorn flicks. The style may feel somewhat familiar, but there's more than enough freshness here to allow this film to stand on its own. By now I'm sure your familiar with the quirky premise--two sisters (Amy Adams and Emily Blunt) need to make money and start their own crime scene clean-up company--but there is much more to the film than that. Amy Adams is spectacular as always, but the film belongs to Emily Blunt. We all saw the potential in her in The Devil Wears Prada, but, in my estimation, she has finally realized that potential. She's given the most overdone role--the dark, loser younger sibling--and she does more with it than most actresses would have. During the scene where she's rambling on and on about her vague memories of her mother to a new friend, Blunt makes the moment so uncomfortable it gives Ronee Blakely's babbling breakdown in Nashville a run for its money. Credit is also due to editor Heather Persons, who takes this scene to its limits by keeping the camera on Blunt for as long as possible before inserting a quick shot of the character listening to her. In fact, her work throughout the whole movie is impeccably done; it's extremely subtle, but extraordinarily powerful. B

Finally, the best of these: Greg Mottola's follow-up to his massively successful Superbad (which made my Top 10 of 2007), Adventureland. Like most people, going in I was expecting a return to the crude, foul-mouthed territory he had covered so well in Superbad, but I was pleasantly surprised by what Mottola offered us on this go-around. Adventureland is a surprisingly tender and achingly romantic comedy more in the Nick and Norah vein with Jesse Eisenberg as the sad sack virgin and Kristen Stewart as the blankly beautiful and eternally conflicted girl of his dreams. The two leads have some really great support from SNL stars Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig (whose eyepatch banana scene had me in stitches) and Margarita Levieva as the bodacious and all-around ideal chick Lisa P, but there was one scene in particular, lasting no more than a minute, that really made Adventureland for me: Kristen is driving Jesse around late at night after work. The windows are rolled down and the wind is flowing through the car. Crowded House's dreamy ballad "Don't Dream It's Over" is playing overhead. Jesse is lying back in his seat, intoxicated by the moment, and looks over at Kristen. She's looking off into the distance, with her trademark hand running through her hair, torn by some internal struggle that she can't verbalize to Jesse. This moment would have been glossed over by most directors, but Mottola turns into the most keenly observed moment into the entire film. B+

American Idol Recap: Top 5 Edition

Theme: Rat Pack style music with Jamie Foxx as the super secret mentor. Yeah, I've got nothing.

"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic

Kris Allen "The Way You Look Tonight" Didn't he look gorgeous tonight? Yum. He should be in a suit every week. Oh, and the performance was excellent as well. But do you really expect anything less from Mr. Allen? I didn't think so.

Allison Iraheta "Someone to Watch Over Me" Another brilliant performance from Ms. Iraheta that was pretty much fucked over by Simon and his stupid comments. Of course she wants to win this or why else would she be here? What a fucking stupid question to ask.

Paula Claps
Quite good

Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet

Matt Giraud "My Funny Valentine" The beginning was awful and the whole thing was nowhere near as good as Melinda Doolittle's superb rendition on season 6. Sad to say, but I think this may have been his final performance (even though Simon loved it for whatever reason).

"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this

Danny Gokey "Come Rain or Come Shine" Awful, awful, awful. The beginning was boring as hell which lead up to the inevitable shouting fest that is included, no charge, in any Danny Gokey number. I still do not see how the judges think that he is marketable in any way possible. Who the Christ is going to buy his Christian, feel good, soul music shit?

Adam Lambert "Feeling Good" This was terrible even by Adam Lambert's awful standards. Way too over-the-top and that maddening shrieking returned as well. Blurg. When he sang that glory note towards the end, I said to my friend sitting next to me, "The judges are going to eat that shit up." And they did. Gah, this douche's inevitable road to the season 8 crown gets me angrier by the minute.

RIP Bea Arthur

So, so sad :(

Everyone go eat a piece of cheesecake in her honor.

8 Things I Love About Susan Hayward in I'll Cry Tomorrow

A couple of weeks ago, I re-screened I'll Cry Tomorrow, Susan Hayward's 1955 Academy Award-nominated vehicle. My first viewing of this film a couple of years ago was a bit wonky (the tape stopped recording 40 minutes in and I missed probably 15 minutes in the middle) and I've grown to appreciate Susan Hayward so much more in that time so I decided this film was in need of another look. And boy am I ever glad I did that. On the surface, I'll Cry Tomorrow may not seem like anything more than your typical Oscar-bait biopic, but it's actually one of the few films about alcoholism that shows the dark, gritty and positively disgusting underbelly of the disease. Sure, the film does this in the most glamorous way possible, but it's positively riveting to watch.

The film is a solid A, but the woman who gets the most credit for that is Susan Hayward. Her performance and acting style is not for every one, but if you're lucky enough to love it, I'll Cry Tomorrow is a sight to behold. Because it left such an impression on me and I want as many people as possible to seek out this movie, here are eight reasons why Susan Hayward is utterly fantastic in I'll Cry Tomorrow.


Susan Hayward-isms If you've seen a Susan Hayward musical number before, then you know that she has certain, um, characteristics that pop up over and over again in them. Mainly, she uses her arms and makes the same five poses, or a variation of them, throughout the entire number. I know the word "genius" is thrown around a lot (especially by me) and it's meaning has been diluted a bit, but that is the only word in the English language that is applicable to Susan Hayward's ability to turn these ridiculously hammy hand gestures into something that works even half as well as it does in her first musical number, "Sing You Sinners." And that's not even talking about the way she occasionally tosses her head back with that big ole cheesy grin plastered on her face. If you're unprepared, these signature bits may throw you off and automatically write off Susan Hayward's acting ability, but once it clicks, you won't be able to get them out of your head. Genius, indeed.

Subtle Comic Timing I was HOWLING at the 20 second mark of this clip.


Knows the Importance of Being Fabulous At All Times I'm not going to reveal what event is the trigger of Hayward's character's alcoholism, but I think it's important to note that even after this traumatic event, Hayward still finds it's necessary to lie around in her bed with her hair all done and makeup applied perfectly. She's Susan Hayward, damnit; there's no way she's looking like a commoner!

"When the Red, Red Robin Comes Bob, Bob Bobbin' Along" Another example of why Susan Hayward's musical numbers at the shit, yo. She is completely rocking those twirls at the end.


Monologue at 1:16 “He’s alright…he’s fine. He’s a real doll. Our maid left this morning because I’m such a drunk. Everybody feels sorry for him. Nobody feels sorry for me. Yup, there’s drunks and there’s drunks. You see, I’m what you call an ‘adorable drunk.’ He…he’s mean! Maybe you can tell me, mister. Why is it when some men get drunk, they get mean, real mean? And then, and then, they next day, they’re sorry. So sorry. He’s great, he’s, he’s my husband….he’s a doll. Got the scars to prove it. Oh well! That’s okay with me. I’m no good. I’m no good. That’s the way it’s gotta be. I’m just nothin’ but a hopeless drunk. Getting just what I deserve. Oh well. That’s life.”

Camp When describing a performance, the word "camp" often gets a bad connotation. But, when it's done right and the film's structure is loose enough to allow it, the results can be astounding. Just think of Bette Davis in What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? or Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest and you'll see that camp does not always equal bad. This same principle can applied to Hayward's performance in I'll Cry Tomorrow. She's loud and larger than life, but she can get away with it since director Daniel Mann makes sure to scale back the entire film at certain points so she can just let loose with reckless abandon. It could have been a complete disaster, but Hayward knows how to camp it up like a true pro.


Voice over at 0:40 “Every night after that, I drank myself to sleep. I felt I no longer needed Katie’s reassurance- I was getting it out of the bottle! For the first time, I was completely secure on the stage. I was sure at last that they liked me and I deserved it. I was something! I was GLAMOROUS! I was the BEST singer IN THE WORLD!”

An Acting Style That is Both Misunderstood and Forgotten Today Going through Susan Hayward's Oscar-nominated work, it quickly becomes apparent that her acting style will be divisive, especially to modern-day viewers not familiar with the pre-Method Era style of acting she embodies. I know that when I first saw her films, I found it odd that this ham of an actress was a widely respected thespian. Over time, I've come to respect her audacity and sheer balls to be so batshit crazy over-the-top with any of her performances. With her big booming theatrical voice, sweeping gestures and go-for-broke desperation, Susan Hayward's performance in I'll Cry Tomorrow pierces through the doldrums of mid-50's American cinema like the a loud, menacing rocket launched into the atmosphere. When she's drunk, she's drunk, slurring her words and stumbling out of nightclubs with all the subtlety of a foghorn. And when she's desperately searching for a drink, not knowing where the hell she is, Hayward is fighting and scratching her way through dirt and grime and the most awful places imaginable to get some booze. It's not pretty and it's certainly not the most comfortable thing to sit through, but that's precisely why it works so well. With a method actress like Julie Harris in the role, I don't think the performance or I'll Cry Tomorrow as a whole would have worked so well. No doubt Harris would have been great, but I think there would have been too much internalization on her part, and the film completely relies on the showy, "surface" effects of alcoholism. With Harris (or any other Method actress), the film's depiction of alcoholism wouldn't have been as dirty or gruesome. Thank goodness Hayward was there with her unusual acting style to lead the way.

"They used to call me anal girl"

OH MY FREAKING GOD!

As if I wasn't excited enough for (500) Days of Summer, last night I saw the official trailer before Sunshine Cleaning and I cannot fucking wait anymore. I need to see this movie immediately or I will explode. Quite literally. I'm trying not to get my hopes up so I'm not completely let-down when I do see it, but you guys have no idea how hard this is.

In other words, July 17th, please get here soon!

American Idol Recap: Top 7 (Again) Edition

Theme: Disco Night. And it wasn't as atrocious as you would think.

"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic

Kris Allen "She Works Hard for the Money" OMG I HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I'M SO EXCITED AT HOW SPLENDIFEROUS THIS PERFORMANCE WAS. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT TURNING DONNA SUMMER'S DISCO CLASSIC INTO AN ACOUSTIC JAM WOULD HAVE WORKED AS WELL AS IT DID. MARRY ME KRIS, YOU ARE SO FREAKING AMAZING XOXO.

Paula Clap
Quite good

Allison Iraheta "Hot Stuff" Only Allison could make a rock-ified version of the Donna Summer classic work as well as it did, but I really wish next week she would pick a song that didn't seem so "obvious." I want her to dig and dig through the songs she can choose from and pick one that will allow her to stretch a bit and not just rock out to a super obvious and already covered song. Other than that, fantastic work from Miss Iraheta as usual.

Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet

Matt Giraud "Staying Alive" I liked this number at first, but after a couple of listens it's starting to completely annoy me. As with the original Bee Gee's version, the opening is epic and Matt completely nails it. But after the first chorus, the song just drags and poor Matt is just going down with a sinking ship. It wasn't bad enough to get him voted off, but you never know with America. They're complete fucktards some most of the time.

Adam Lambert "If I Can't Have You" Mr. Shrieky slows it down and "emotes," pounding every note and word into our brain with the subtlety of a sledgehammer and draining every ounce of emotion he can out of the lyrics like the complete ham that he is. I think Mr. Shrieky would make a fine Broadway musical actor, tucked away in some theatre where I never have to hear from him again, but I would never EVER want to hear him on the radio. And I doubt many others will either.

"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this

Anoop "Dim All the Lights" He got the pimp slot and I'm still having trouble remembering anything about his performance except that botched last note. Oops.

Lil Rounds "I'm Every Woman" Girlfriend, it's time to pack it up and head on home. Karaoke at it's worst and it's not all about having fun on the stage; you need to sing, girl!

Danny Gokey "September" I love my Paula, but the woman is delusional if she honestly believes that Dead Wife Guy deserves to be in the finals (even Adam is leagues above him). The judges constantly yell at Lil (and rightly so) for doing karaoke versions of every song she does, but why does Danny never get yelled at for doing the exact same thing week after week? Is it because they think that the shouting he adds to every song equals emotion or something revelatory? I have no clue and am at a complete loss for words why this douchebag keeps on getting praised when he has not even come close to having a "moment" on that stage.

American Idol Disco Night Predictions

Because I'm desperately avoiding studying for my exams at the moment, here is what I think the Idols will sing tonight during Disco Night.

• Kris Allen "I Will Survive" (Acoustic) (Because he will want to embrace the gay audience who so obviously adores him)
• Allison Iraheta "Heart of Glass" (Because I'm having a really hard time coming up with a song for her. Possibly something by Donna Summer, but not something as obvious as "Hot Stuff" or "Last Dance")
• Matt Giraud "Everlasting Love" (Because it seems perfect for him)
• Anoop "Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe" (Because he obviously can't do a ballad this week and he thinks he's a sex symbol)
• Adam Lambert "Staying Alive" (Because this is kinda obvious, right? If not this one, than probably some other Bee Gees song or Gloria Gaynor's "I Am What I Am")
• Danny Gokey "(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty" (Because he'll want "to have fun" this week and the judges have constantly reassured him that he could sing the phone book, so why the hell not?)
• Lil Rounds "Don't Leave Me This Way" (Because she thinks she can belt like the big divas and, obviously, she will fail. Another possible choice: "It's Raining Men")

This Picture Makes Me Happy and Sad at the Same Time

I found this picture of the Brokeback crew at the Toronto Film Festival in 2005 while rummaging through I Heart Jake yesterday and I felt compelled to share it for some reason. I love the way it almost feels like a random snapshot from a weekend barbeque or something, a few friends just getting together and having a few laughs. This picture also makes me happy because of the whole "four young actors who have finally 'arrived'" vibe going on; you can practically feel that these four people are ready to take over Hollywood and show us what they can do. It's also kinda sad for the obvious reason: the passing of Heath Ledger. He really was taken way too soon. I hope you guys find this photo as fascinating as I did.

What's Wrong With this Picture? Part Deux

Every time Zac Efron and the Jonas Brothers take a picture together, something bothers me about it. Let's see if we can fix it this time.

There we go! C'est belle!

American Idol Recap: Top 7 Edition

Theme: It was supposed to be Songs from the Movies, but somewhere along the way, 5 of the 7 contestants interpreted this "Sing a Cheesy Powerballad from a Film from the 80's or 90's." Seriously, what the fuck? You could sing any song from any movie- that's over 80 years of music to choose from- and the best you can come up with is not one, but TWO Bryan Adams songs, "Endless Love" and that horribly overplayed song from Armageddon? Jesus Christ.

"Touchdown!"
Really ecstatic

Kris Allen "Falling Slowly" Far and away the best performance of the night, if not the season. Not only was the song choice audacious but it was also perfect for his whole musical persona. Needless to say, I've already listened to it 20 times in a row this morning on the way to and from class. A classic in every sense of the word.

Paula Clap
Quite good

Allison Iraheta "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" Terrible, terrible song choice and for that reason alone, I almost knocked her down a level. But, it's Allison, so she actually did quite well with what she chose. I would really love for her to take a chance next week and pick a song that hasn't been done on the show a million times before.

Matt Giraud "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" Another terrible, terrible song choice but it didn't turn out too badly. I really don't understand the trashing he gets every other week, because I think he's consistently good every week and does know to do the rock songs (or, in this case, lite pop songs).

Dancing in My Seat
No one ever said it took much to get Paula on her feet

Adam Lambert "Born to Be Wild" After such dreary and lame song choices, I'm glad that Adam thought outside the box and picked something that pre-dated the Reagan Era. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean it was any good. While I've definitely heard worse from him, this was still a steaming pile of crap.

Anoop "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" Zzzzzzz. I'm beginning to wonder if Randy is confusing "soulful" with "coma-inducing."

"Well, You Look Beautiful..."
It's never good when she starts with this

Danny Gokey "Endless Love" Boring even by the eternally dull Danny Gokey's standards. Of course, when he finally gets a negative critique from the judges, they have to bring up his dead wife to ensure that he won't get in the bottom three. Seriously judges, how low can you go?

Lil Rounds "The Rose" Every week, Lil takes on a song by a big diva and every week she gets told that it was a mistake. So what does she do this week? Pick a song by Bette motherfucking Midler. Was she high when she thought that work? Not only did her version not even come with in the same galaxy as Bette's classic version, but it was a messy, overworked, shrieking nightmare. And what the fuck was up with that wig. As I commented to my friend during her performance, "I've seen hookers with better wigs." Please, America, put us out of our misery.