Short Rants on Game Change

"What do they think I am, dumb or something?" There's a surprisingly striking similarity between Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin in Game Change and silent screen star Lina Lamont in Singin' in the Rain. When each film begins, both characters are at the top of their game: Lamont is "a shimmering, glowing star in the cinema firmament" while Palin has risen from small-town mayor to governor of Alaska in just 18 months. As they are thrust upon a bigger stage with new challenges and raised stakes, they falter under the pressure of trying to fit their new image. Palin and Lamont are both walking punchlines no one in their respective films take seriously or, even worse, completely underestimate. Neither of them are book smart (one painful scene in Game Change shows Sarah Palin being taught Germany's role in World War I and II), but with the right tools, they are far more dangerous than any Ivy Leaguer. Game Change almost unfairly vilifies Palin as much as The Iron Lady did to Margaret Thatcher (I'm looking at you, unnecessary scene where someone "suggests" that Palin is mentally unstable). I don't agree with her, but Palin's polarizing politics and meteoric rise to the top makes her immensely fascinating. A better director might have been able to better capture this essence of Palin without relying on cheap, degrading name calling. Because, as someone once said, nice women don't make history. Moore is very good as Palin, but if this is the role that (finally) convinced you that she is one of our greatest living actresses, you clearly need to be paying better attention. Woody Harrelson, adding to a fine body of work in the past five years or so, is the best in show.

Short Rants on Crazy, Stupid, Love

Did Phyllida Lloyd secretly direct this movie? Not since Mamma Mia! have I been filled with such irrational, unexplainable hatred toward a star-studded, pure popcorn film. From the very first frame until the last, cringe-inducing second, Crazy, Stupid, Love manages to dumb down a stellar, intelligent cast with sitcom clichés and out-of-nowhere twists that even CBS would be embarrassed by, include a lazy happy ending which wraps up complicated interpersonal issues into a neat and tidy bow, and uphold prehistoric ideas about men and women's places in both society and relationships. This last point is what sent me over the edge. First of all, according to the film, the only way Steve Carell's character is able to recapture his manhood after his pending divorce is to follow the advice of Ryan Gosling, a well-dressed, impeccably groomed chauvinist who brags about tricking dumb women into wanting to have sex with him. The problem, however, is that we are supposed to respect Gosling's character as his tricks work for Carell and he becomes a close friend when everyone else has abandoned him to take his wife's side. This becomes a major problem later on in the film when SPOILER the girl Gosling has been serious about turns out to be Carell's daughter. So, he's a good enough guy to be your friend but now he's scum because he's dating your daughter, who, I must add, is now old enough to have passed her fucking BAR exam and become a lawyer. How utterly disgusting that even in 2011 we still have major plot points in major films--especially a comedy--where a father feels he has the right to decide whom his adult daughter may or may not date. But the gender politics in this film are merely the tip of the iceberg of what Crazy, Stupid, Love gets so completely wrong. Do we have time to cover the film's boneheaded attempts to validate the 13 year old son's "love" for his 17 year old babysitter (who is actually in love with Carell's character but let's not get into that)? Why on earth are we pretending that this 13 year old is any different than any other 13 year old boy who would stick it in the hole of anyone who gave them the slightest bit of attention? Because he's sensitive and intuitive, you say? Fuck that. He's an idiot, just as nearly everyone else in this movie is (Emma Stone remains unscathed by this hot mess). Love does indeed suck, but not nearly as much as this movie. F

So GLAAD to Be a Gay

As I'm sure you ascertained from this recent blog post, GLAAD and I are not on very good terms. We often disagree on what constitutes a "positive" portrayal of gay life in movies and TV--they either like nice, quiet gays coming out of the closet or loud, in-your-face crusaders while I tend to prefer characters with a little more shading or, heaven forbid, an evil gay--so it pisses me off that this lousy group is supposed to be "representing" me and my best interests. Anyways, they recently announced the nominees for their Media Awards, so I thought it would be fun to take a gander at what they thought was the best in gay cinema this past year.

Outstanding Film - Wide Release

• Burlesque
• Easy A
• The Girl Who Played With Fire
• The Kids Are All Right
• Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

I haven't seen The Girl Who Played With Fire--hell, I barely made it through The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo--but I have seen the rest so let's tackle them in alphabetical order. As a film, Burlesque is a heaping pile of shit. Not even Cher in all of her Cher glory nor an impressive star turn from Cam Gigandet can save this Fosse-wannabe from being anything but a joyless, soulless imitation of far better films. With that being said, the depiction of homosexuality in Burlesque, even the "gay stuff" that extends far beyond Stanley Tucci's character, didn't offend me in the slightest. Actually, I quite enjoyed the films enthusiasm for treating Cher like the God of the Gays she is and for giving into every cliché you'd expect from a Gay Romp like this: Glitter? Check. Belting divas? Check. Catfights? Check. Cher being a bitch? Check. Cher looking fiercer in outfits than many women half her age? Check. For once, I believe GLAAD is looking beyond the surface as to what a "gay" film means and for that I must, gulp, applaud them.

Know we are up to Easy A and I'm afraid this love fest must end. I know, that was quick. Listen, I thought Dan Byrd was hilarious and his chemistry with Emma Stone made their witty repartée that much funnier, but to suggest that his character's representation of a gay male is either positive or progressive is grossly offensive. This is a character who asks a friend to help make other people in his school think he's straight by pretending to have sex with him because he's too much of a pussy to ignore the haters and thinks that things will get magically better when he goes to college. The whole scene where he asks Emma Stone to help him was so uncomfortable for me to watch both times I've seen the movie. Maybe it's because my own personal philosophy has always been to either come out or shut up but never, ever pass for straight, but I can't stand behind him as any sort of positive role model.

I wasn't a big fan of The Kids Are All Right, but even I can't argue about it's importance as a gay film. Sure, I do have a reservation or two about that fact that when Julianne Moore's character has an affair it is with a man and not another woman, but I obviously understand why it happens and it's necessity to the story. Doesn't mean I have to agree, though. Either way, this film is on it's way to an easy win so congrats!

And, finally, we have Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I liked this film far more than I ever thought I would. The trailer made it seem overly quirky, even by my standards, but in the finished product, everything sort of fell into place. Keiran Culkin plays the gay roommate of Michael Cera's Scott Pilgrim and while I liked the character, once again I'm not sure if it was entirely a "good" gay creation. Culkin's character Wallace is wickedly funny, yet he also steals his female best friend's date, has sex with him while in a relationship with another guy and then tells Scott when he questions it that, basically, it's okay for him to do it because he's gay. In the words of Cher Horowitz, "As if!" How revolting. With that being said, I did enjoy that Wallace and Scott's friendship was never once threatened by his homosexuality; Scott could care less either way. That's quite a big leap forward in the depiction of gay/straight male friendships in the movies.

So, all in all, not exactly a bad batch of films here. The only one I would be quick to replace is Easy A, although I'm not exactly sure what to replace it with. Black Swan, perhaps? And as much as I bitch about GLAAD, let's all be grateful that they didn't go for something completely horrible like, as Glenn suggests, Kick-Ass or even Valentine's Day for that dumb "twist" ending.

The Kids May Be All Right, But This Movie Sure as Hell Isn't

I just got back from the highly acclaimed The Kids Are All Right, a film about two lesbians (Annette Bening and Julianne Moore), their two kids (Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson) and the effect meeting the kids' sperm donor (Mark Ruffalo) has on the family. The film was, I believe, supposed to be a light, bittersweet romp through the ups and downs of today's modern family. All I felt by the end of the movie, however, was an immense hatred towards everything in this film. How could so much potential be squandered in something as cheap, cloying and unpolished as The Kids Are All Right ends up becoming? I blame most of the films major woes on the script, which has a lot of interesting ideas but doesn't develop them as much as I would have liked to have seen. A lot of the time, I couldn't tell if director Lisa Cholodenko was purposely leaving relationships and key ideas vague to challenge us to fill in the blanks or if they were simply left out for whatever reason. First of all, the family didn't feel at all cohesive. The film explains that Nic (Bening) gave birth to Joni (Wasikowska) while Jules (Moore) birthed Laser (Hutcherson) a couple years later and, for the most part, that bond between mother and child is heavily prevalent. So much so that the film gives no indication about the relationship between the mother and the child that they didn't birth. They all seem to live in this vacuum where this issue isn't addressed or even thought about, yet something is lacking between Nic/Laser and Julies/Joni. Cholodenko takes great pains in staging the actors during the opening dinner scene so that Nic/Joni and Jules/Laser are shown together in the same shots, so it's not as if she's oblivious that this dynamic exists.

With the introduction of Paul into the picture, the holes only grow larger and more intolerable. One of the biggest that sticks out is the relationship between Joni and Paul. Joni initially has no interest in meeting Paul and only makes contact with him to appease the curious Laser. After she meets him, however, she becomes smitten and announces that she wants to continue seeing him. What she sees in him, we never know, for all that follows are scenes between them where she gazes adoringly at him while he talks about vegetables. There is a hint that she may be sexually attracted to him, as she becomes increasingly uncomfortable with her "slutty" (I use that in quotes because I talk like her every day and I don't think she was that horrible) friend's comments about how she'd like to fuck him. But, as with a lot of the film, that possibility is never explored. Another angle that didn't feel fully developed was the dynamic between Nic and Paul. There's a major plot development that forever strains their relationship, but before that, Nic is not exactly his biggest fan. Part of that can be explained by the fact she feels like everyone in the family has turned against her and towards him, but there's another issue that is never fully explained. Paul and Jules, with their "la-di-da" attitudes toward life and work, are incredibly similar, more similar than anyone in the film is willing to admit. Does Nic see this, and is rejecting Paul her way of expressing her dissatisfaction with her relationship with Jules? This is all conjecture, but I'm grasping at straws as to what the film is aiming to say with this relationship.

The film's major turning point, an affair which suddenly erupts between Paul and Jules, is also the straw that broke the camel's back in terms of my reaction towards the film. First of all, the tone of these scenes is completely wrong and, to an extent, even grossly offensive. The Kids Are All Right is supposed to be about the love in this cohesive family unit, so why are the sex scenes between Moore and Ruffalo full of slapstick moments trying to make the audience laugh? Sure, these moments are funny, but you feel dirty afterward because all you can think about is that fact that she is fucking CHEATING on her spouse while being funny. This is not an appropriate moment for levity, especially since Nic has done nothing worthy of being cheated on. And speaking of offensive, why does Jules have to have an affair with a man when she has clearly been established as a lesbian throughout the movie? I understand that there's some psychological motivation that goes beyond sexuality, but having her cheat on her spouse with a man plays into the stereotype that a lesbian is a lesbian simply because she hasn't found the right man. Maybe the awkward slapstick was meant to imply that they weren't exactly having the best time together or that something was off about them, but I'll be damned if it didn't sound like they were having the time of their life.

The Kids Are All Right is not a terrible movie by any means--I'd rather watch it than StarStruck ever again, that's for sure--but there are simply too many flaws to blindly ignore. Another edit of the script to tighten plot holes and make the dialogue sound less forced and on-the-nose would have made this film a pleasure to sit through instead of one where I was gritting my teeth through numerous, infuriatingly clumsy mistakes. C

Ten Essential Film Performances of the 2000's

In no particular order, here are the most essential film performances of the past decade (NOT necessarily the best, just the ones that defined to decade for me).

Casey Affleck
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
For taking his in-bred awkwardness and making it work for the character. For working in a homoerotic subtext into this butch, Western biopic. For that post-Jesse epilogue, a tragic figure on the fall.


Dame Judi Dench
Notes on a Scandal
For continuing to surprise us and, even at 75, challenge herself. For playing into the film's camp aesthetic but never descending into hopeless theatrics. For scaring the shit out of me.


Anne Hathaway
Rachel Getting Married
For producing the decade's definitive "star is born" performance. For working her way up the old fashioned way and gaining valuable experience at every pit stop. For taking a stock character and performing it in such a way that it completely becomes her own.


Nicole Kidman
Dogville
For taking her auteur lust to a whole new level. For braving a role which relies solely on her face and body language. For proving time and time again that she's the bravest actress of our time.


Heath Ledger
Brokeback Mountain
For taking a mumbling, impenetrable, almost unlikable character and turning him into the unlikeliest romantic hero in ages. For his emotional breakdown after an entire film of emotional stoicism.


Julianne Moore
The Hours
For pushing her minimalistic acting to its breaking point. For her wonderfully warm and expressive face. For being the best in show with a movie featuring Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman and Toni Collette.


Julia Roberts
Erin Brockovich
For combining her decade-in-the-making star persona and natural charisma with a new found dramatic flair. For ditching her vanity and dropping some f-bombs. For her comedic timing on lines like, "That's all you've got: two left feet and fucking ugly shoes."


Uma Thurman
Kill Bill Volume 1 and 2
For providing the decade's one true iconic character. For trusting in Tarantino and his blood hungry vision. For having fun slicing limbs off the Crazy 88's.


Ashley Tisdale
The High School Musical Trilogy
For unleashing a comedic firestorm unlike anything Disney has ever seen. For proving that "Disney" isn't always synonymous with bad acting. For creating a tween character "type." For adding humanity to a one-note character.


Catherine Zeta-Jones
Chicago
For turning on the charisma full throttle. For matching the film's high-kicking, electric energy. For rocking a Louise Brooks bob. For proving that she, yes, can do it alone.

Rants on A Single Man

Sometimes it takes a non-filmmaker to come in with a fresh perspective on acceptable filmic modes of expression and shake up the way we see and think about the movies. Orson Welles, perhaps the most famous example, was a stage director and radio star before he got the chance to tinker around with films in Citizen Kane. François Truffaut and Jean-Luc Godard were French film critics who put their money where their mouth was when they birthed the Nouvelle Vague with The 400 Blows and Breathless, respectively. Richard Lester, director of A Hard Day's Night, one of the breeziest and most carefree movies ever made, had only previously worked in TV beforehand and made things up as he went along. The examples are practically endless, but the point remains the same: sometimes, when a vision or ideology is strong enough, traditional and formal cinematic direction isn't necessary. Watching a director experiment with the medium can often times be just as illuminating as watching an old pro do the business over and over again.

Now, I don't mean to suggest that director Tom Ford deserves to be in such esteemed company yet. But if A Single Man is any indication of what Ford has to offer, give him another film or two and he may just live up to his promise. A Single Man is not a perfect movie. However, it is one of those rare movies where perfection would have detracted from what makes it ultimately work. A Single Man is a film of raw emotion. With every tightly composed and constructed shot, Ford's personal connection with the story and George (Colin Firth) is immediately felt and unexpectedly affecting. But this film isn't a self-centered masturbation exercise; the emotions he conjures up on-screen are universal. Ford does wonders with loneliness and isolation, but one of my favorite moments of the entire movie was also one of the most simplistic: George and Charlotte (isn't it great to see Julianne Moore laughing again?) are in her living room dancing to 'Stormy Weather' when Charlotte suddenly, in a fit of inspiration, puts on new, more contemporary record. She starts doing this ridiculous dance, obviously picked up on a youth-friendly show like American Bandstand, and starts urging George to join her. Initially, he laughs her off but eventually gives into temptation and lets loose for the first time in the movie. This moment, while hardly revelatory, simply feels spot on in the moment. I can just imagine doing this some of my best friends 20 years from now, just forgetting ourselves for the moment and doing something silly. Ford captures the irrepressible bond old friends have, the way they can laugh at old stories and make a fool out of themselves without giving the slightest shit.


Many have accused Tom Ford of over-beautifying the images and mise-en-scene to the point of distraction. While I can see where they are coming from, I think, if anything, the shockingly gorgeous imagery only deepens the film's themes of loneliness and isolation. George may be surrounded by a world of perfectly designed houses, crisp tailored suits, beautifully manicured lawns and extraordinarily good looking people, but that does not curtail his emptiness or make missing Jim any less painful. All the prettiness the world can muster will not bring Jim back from the dead. I find it interesting that Ford chose to represent it this way when there were so many more traditional ways he could have taken it. But that is precisely what is so fascinating about A Single Man: nothing about it feels particularly safe. Ford is experimenting with the medium, having fun with its numerous possibilities. Some of his ideas don't exactly pan out--I still don't know why that owl was there--but when he gets it right, boy does he get it right. A big shoutout goes to editor Joan Sobel for taking Ford's blankly beautiful film and making it even more coldly arresting. Another of my favorite moments of the film is when George is in the classroom giving a lecture and as he leans on his desk, listening to one of his students ask a question, his mind goes adrift with quick cutting images of people around the room, including the above shot of Kenny (Nicholas Hoult) and his bombshell girlfriend Lois blankly puffing on a cigarette and extreme close-ups of Kenny's eyes. I can not even begin to decipher what Ford truly means with this imagery, but the way it lingers on the brain is truly intoxicating.

I must say, I do not exactly understand the argument that A Single Man's beautiful imagery is nothing more than empty stylistics. Conceding the fact that narrative drive does not exactly come first, there is a real heart beating deep within the film that the images expand on. For me, those emotions and feelings are more powerful and lasting than an expanded, beefed-up story could have shown. A-

My Films of the 2000's: #60-41

The 2000's officially came to a close a couple of days ago (Yes, the 2000's. I refuse to call them the "naughties." Who the fuck came up with that name?). I've already started counting down the top songs of the decade, but now it is time to get started with the films. Before I begin, I must state that this list is not a definitive list of "bests." I like to think that I have expansive, exquisite taste in movies but when I compare what I've seen to someone like Nick Davis, I realize I've seen almost nothing. I forget that I was young at the beginning of the decade and didn't get hardcore into film watching until at least 2003. There are so many arthouse and foreign films I haven't yet seen there's no way I could compile a decent "best of" list. If I did, I fear it would be full of Eternal Sunshines and Kill Bills that everyone and their mother would put on their list. And if there's one thing I don't want to be, it's boring and predictable. So, in the spirit of originality, I compiled a list of 60(-ish) films that "defined" the decade for me. They may not be the ones that received the highest grades from me and, in some instances, the films themselves are quite terrible, but they're the ones I think about most often and have come to dominate the 2000's for me. Okay, now that that lengthy exposition is out of the way, let's get started.

Oh, one more thing. In two instances (both appearing on today's list) two films have become so intertwined in my head that I combined them together into one entry. And there's one trilogy that I lumped together as well (yes, it's the one you're probably thinking of and not the one on everybody else's list).

60-51

60. Star Trek (2009)
Director: J.J. Abrams
Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Anton Yelchin

The summer action blockbuster, a genre I normally detest with every muscle of my body, done absolutely well. Some people had problems with the sexual politics, but I, frankly, didn't find anything wrong with them (Up in the Air on the other hand...). Instead, I just sat back and reveled in a light-hearted tentpole picture that was actually consistently funny and entertaining.

59. The Hours (2002)
Director: Stephen Daldry
Starring: Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman

The Hours prompted my biggest change of heart of any film of the decade. When I first saw it in the summer of 2003, I completely detested the movie (I think I gave it a D+). Meryl Streep was my favorite section and I absolutely adored Nicole Kidman's breakdown at the train station. Years later, I saw the film again and immediately bumped it up to a great-but-still-not-perfect B. Julianne Moore became my favorite section and Kidman's breakdown was a complete embarrassment (she's much better in the quiet moment where she lies in the grass and stares at the camera). This film is the perfect example of what a few years will do to your opinion of a film.

58. 27 Dresses (2008)
Director: Anne Fletcher
Starring: Katherine Heigl, James Marsden, Judy Greer

I have now seen 27 Dresses three times and to this day I'm not quite sure why I keep coming back to it. And talk about flip-fopping! Over the course of 2008, I swear I changed this grade at least eight times, always debating the high points (exceptionally funny cast, James Marsden's face, above-average script) with its weaknesses (occasionally flat dialogue, Malin Akerman). In the end, whatever faults 27 Dresses has don't really matter because if someone asked me right now if I wanted to watch it my answer would be an enthusiastic "Yes please!"

57. In Her Shoes (2002)
Director: Curtis Hanson
Starring: Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette, Shirley MacLaine

One of the best films about sibling relationships I've ever seen. Hanson extracted all the pin-point precise and ultimately beautiful details from the schmaltzy chick lit source by Jennifer Weiner. And if you've ever had any doubts about Diaz's acting abilities, watch the scene where she reads out loud to the man in the hospital.

56. Havoc (2005)
Director: Barbara Kopple
Starring: Anne Hathaway, Freddy Rodriguez, Bijou Phillips, Mike Vogel

An insane, mind-blowing film about the problems and pressures surrounding today's teenagers. Okay, it's not exactly relatable to every teen since it's about rich white kids in a gang and their problems involve scoring drugs from the wrong side of town and getting revenge on a Mexican gang. And, okay, it's insanely bad and racist in ways even The Blind Side can't imagine. But all of that doesn't matter. Havoc is the epitome of 2000's trash cinema and features a fearless, groundbreaking performance from Hathaway (who shows her breasts three times!).

55. Jennifer's Body (2009)
Director: Karyn Kusama
Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Megan Fox, Adam Brody

Bad marketing killed Jennifer's Body, Diablo Cody's first film after achieving fame with Juno, at the box office. The film was marketed as a straight horror movie but it's truly a dark comedy/horror hybrid. I was howling at the excessively fake gore and blood. Seyfried and Brody were brilliant, as usual, and I must give props to Fox since the film didn't make me want to murder her by the end.

54. Far From Heaven (2002)
Director: Todd Haynes
Starring: Julianne Moore, Dennis Quaid, Dennis Haysbert, Patricia Clarkson

Like The Hours, this one took some time to finally "get" and boy am I glad I finally did. A beautiful and fitting tribute to the Sirkian melodrama.

53. 2 Days in Paris (2007)
Director: Julie Delpy
Starring: Julie Delpy, Adam Goldberg, Daniel Brühl

I randomly found this movie on Netflix on Demand and afterwards I was furious that no one I know of had even talked about this movie, let alone recommended it. As a director, Julie Delpy has a great Woody Allen-ish knack for finding humor in the most awkward and degrading of situations. As an actress, she's probably one of the most giving actor-directors I've ever seen. I was surprised by how few of the scenes--if any--revolve solely around her or are simply there just to stroke her ego. Quite simply, 2 Days in Paris is one of the best romances of the decade. Bonus points for Daniel Brühl and his "I'm a fairy" line.

52. Day Night Day Night (2007)
Director: Julia Loktev
Starring: Luisa Williams

Day Night Day Night is not a film for everyone and, at first, I was hesitant about this plotless, nearly dialogueless film about a nameless girl who becomes a suicide bomber for a nameless group with unspoken goals. Finally, about 15 minutes in, the film clicked into place and I was entranced by the slow rhythm of the film and the way the camera carefully observed its surroundings. I honestly believe it was the success I had with Day Night Day Night that allowed me to get through and enjoy Godard's La Chinoise and (especially) Le Gai Savoir.

51. Moulin Rouge! (2001)
Director: Baz Luhrmann
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, Jim Broadbent

The moment Nicole Kidman became a star. I think that's something we can all be grateful for. And even if, for me, the ending is a bit muddled and lovey dovey for my taste, the electric musical scenes in the Moulin Rouge are some of the most exciting and alive moments in any film this decade. Bonus points for the 'Elephant Love Medley'--I always sing the Nicole part!

50-41

50. 17 Again (2009)
Director: Burr Steers
Starring: Zac Efron, Leslie Mann, Sterling Knight

Obsessed (2009)
Director: Steve Shill
Starring: Beyoncé, Ali Larter, Idris Elba

I saw both of these movies within the span of a couple of weeks and both 17 Again and Obsessed are memorable for the same (and wrong) reasons. I'm not one to usually shout in the theatres, but I was acting like I had the Spirit in me when I saw these movies. During 17 Again, I swooned and gushed (both the times I saw it on opening weekend) during the opening shot where Zac is shooting hoops shirtless (yes, I am a 13 year old girl). Then, when bully Hunter Parrish punches Zac, I literally screamed "DON'T PUNCH HIM IN HIS PRETTY FACE!" When I went to see Obsessed, I wasn't talking so much as I was giggling non-stop throughout the whole damn movie. As the climactic cat fight came on, I was a goner. As bad as both of these films are, they are the films from 2009 I think about the most, whether it is Efron or Beyoncé's star turns in their respective films, Mann's ability to look absolutely gorgeous and do no wrong in any film she's in or a fond remembrance of my discovery of Sterling Knight.

49. Bug (2007)
Director: William Friedkin
Starring: Ashley Judd, Michael Shannon, Harry Connick, Jr.

Now this is how you do a horror film. Friedkin's take on the paranoia thriller was stuck in my head for days after I first saw it (alone and late at night, I must add). I think what makes Bug a can't miss is the fact that the situation presented in the first two acts is so ordinary that anyone, in the right state of mind, could dissolve into madness and paranoia in the same way Ashley Judd does.

48. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
Director: Alfonso Cuar&ocaute;n
Starring: Gael Garcia Bernal, Diego Luna, Marbiel Verdú

I need to see this film again for I remember very little about the film itself, other than the moments of passion and the sad, vague feeling about the end of a friendship that dominates the film as it progresses. Oh, and there's that little ole scene where Bernal and Luna have sex that I must have rewound 5 or 10 times. No one said this list was going to be totally classy!

47. Jesus Camp (2006)
Director: Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady

Literally one of the most frightening experiences I've ever had watching a movie. Jesus Camp is every liberal's worst nightmare: a documentary about a religion that trains their children to become God Warriors at all costs and, ironically, idolizes the way terrorist cells trained the people who ended up flying the planes into the Twin Towers. Scary in theory, piss-your-pants frightening since it is reality. As the film progressed, particularly during the scene where the children are practically heil-ing a cardboard cutout of George Bush, I kept sliding lower and lower in my seat, trying to shield my eyes with the hood of my jacket.

46. Superbad (2007)
Director: Greg Mottola
Starring: Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, Christopher Mintz-Plasse

Teenage heterosexual sex comedies are not normally my thing, but Superbad is more focused on genuine bawdy laughs rather than the same boob and fart jokes over and over again. In a year where something as trite and painfully unfocused as The Hangover got wide acclaim both at the box office and critically, it makes me appreciate Superbad even more. The film may be chaotic, but there's a method to its madness.

45. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002)
Director: George Clooney
Starring: Sam Rockwell, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Drew Barrymore

In a decade where biopics of varying degrees of suckiness and ineptitude where given awards like they invented movies all over again, it is not surprising that one as fascinating, immersive and, most importantly, fun as Confessions of a Dangerous Mind received very little acclaim or attention when released. I still think it's better than Good Night, and Good Luck, Clooney's best performance, Barrymore's best performance until Grey Gardens, one of Roberts' best post-Brockovich performances and one of the decade's best "star is born" performances from Sam Rockwell.

44. (500) Days of Summer (2009)
Director: Marc Webb
Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel

My most anticipated movie for 2009. I waited for ages it felt like for it to come to my town and when it finally did...nothing. I enjoyed the film quite a bit, especially individual scenes like the foreign film scene, the fantasy/reality party and the musical number, but I wonder if overhyping it in my head knocked this film down a bit. Another viewing is definitely in order soon, but, until then, I'll have to live with my lovely (if not rapturous quite yet) first impression.

43. Shelter (2008)
Director: Jonah Markowitz
Starring: Trevor Wright, Brad Rowe, Tina Holmes

Boy A (2008)
Director: John Crowley
Starring: Andrew Garfield, Peter Mullan, Siobhan Finneran

As you probably know, films about emotionally damaged and/or distant young males are my crack and 2008 offered two fantastic independent films in this minor, often ignored subgenre. Shelter, aka the gay surfing movie, really had no reason to be as good as it turned out to be. The gay ghetto of filmmaking often relies on the same "coming out" crutch in every film, but Shelter deals with other themes besides the inevitable admission of homosexuality (and even that is done simply and beautifully). What I enjoyed about Trevor Wright was that he offered a gay character we haven't seen before--the emotionally closed-off gay--and portrayed it in a realistic, non-baity way. Andrew Garfield, as a young man attempting to move on with his life after committing a horrific childhood crime, has a whole film to carry on his shoulders in Boy A. As far as emotionally damaged boys go, he's up there with Hutton in Ordinary People and Firth in Equus, so I was obviously hooked like a heroin junkie to the emotional journey he goes through. When that great scene at the restaurant came around, I was so attached to Garfield, I nearly mimicked him in his unreadable reaction to the present his girlfriend gave him.

42. Thirteen (2003)
Director: Catherine Hardwicke
Starring: Evan Rachel Wood, Nikki Reed, Holly Hunter

Before Hardwicke's dull and lifeless adaptation of Twilight, she burst on the scene with this scathing look at today's teenagers. The most refreshing thing about Thirteen is the fact that Hardwicke doesn't preach morality or pass senseless judgment on any of the characters, a very uncommon feat in the teen film. Bonus points for being one of the three films one of my best friends in high school (who seriously considered The Beverly Hillbillies movie one of the best she had ever seen) and I ever agreed on.

41. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (2008)
Director: Peter Sollett
Starring: Michael Cera, Kat Dennings, Ari Graynor, Rafi Gavron

A 1930's screwball comedy set in the world of surprisingly non-irritating and unpretentious indie hipster high schoolers. Cera and Dennings have immense charm and chemistry, but its Ari Graynor as Dennings' drunk best friend who steals the show, providing a hilarious new twist on a stereotyped role.

Bad Mommies

On Mother's Day 2007, I wrote this post "honoring" the ten worst mothers in film, TV and even a book. This was a couple months after I started Rants of a Diva and I'm not ashamed to admit that it's not one of the shining moments of my blogging career. I remember at the time having a difficult time trying to come up with ten and that shows in some of the weak choices (why the hell didn't I think of the ultimate bad mommy, Julianne Moore, in any of her numerous roles in this vein?). On top of that, the writing is just horrid, horrid, horrid. If anything, I'd like to forget that this post exists.

But some people out there won't let me. For some reason, this post is constantly the most viewed page on my blog and every three months or so, some anonymous twit makes a stupid comment about the fact that I picked the fabulous Joan Crawford over Catherine Roerva, the psychotic real-life mommy in Dave Pelzer's A Child Called It. Now, listen, by now I hope that anyone who reads this blog regularly knows my general likes and preferences. So, given these two options, which of them am I more likely to pick? Dave Pelzer's books were popular in my junior high and I, of course, read them so I remember all the horrific things she put that poor guy through. I realize that there is just no comparison between locking a child in a non-ventilated bathroom with obnoxious amounts of ammonia and forcing your child to eat a raw steak. If I was Oprah, I'd be shouting, "I get it, peopleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" But, anonymous commenters, if you had taken ten seconds to look around my site and notice it's name (Diva is in the f-ing title), my sexuality (I post about Zac Efron nearly every week) and my obvious love of Faye Dunaway (see this post), you would see that there is absolutely no way Roerva could beat the unstoppable force of nature that is Dunaway's Joan Crawford. It's not a definitive list of worst mothers ever in order of offenses; it's just a silly list ranked in an somewhat arbitrary order by my silly preferences. So, in summary, please stop e-mailing and commenting about this dumbass post. It's stupid and barely worth defending at this point when I've done other posts I'm so much more proud of.

Random Top 10: Films I'm So Excited for This Fall I'm Pissing My Pants in Anticipation

As I was reminded by my most recent copy of Entertainment Weekly, the fall season is quickly approaching so that means four blissful months of movies made for adults and not silly teenage fanboys. Looking through the magazine (which features Harry Potter on the cover- ugh, I'm so over it- just before their announcement of their release date change) I got really excited about all of the wonderful films coming out that I wanted to share with you the ten that I'm most excited about.

Runner-Ups: Oliver Stone is hit or miss, so lets hope W., his attack on Bush, is more Nixon and less Alexander...Mike Leigh is a fantastic director and I bet he'll do wonders with Sally Hawkins in Happy-Go-Lucky...The poster may be complete shit, but the trailer for Lakeview Terrace looks like it could be a return to form for Samuel L. Jackson (plus, Patrick spends a lot of time without a shirt on)

10.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Director: Peter Sollett Starring: Michael Cera, Kat Dennings
Release Date: 10/3
This won't win any Oscars or anything, but Cera and Dennings are two gifted young comedians and have the talent to make this somewhat overused premise work.

9.

Miracle at St. Anna
Director: Spike Lee Starring: Derek Luke, Laz Alonso, Benson Miller
Release Date: 9/26
Spike Lee is always fascinating, even when he goes off the rails, so Miracle at St. Anna should be a good show, if nothing else. The WWII storyline bores me slightly but the trailer gave me hope that this one could be amazing.

8.

The Brothers Bloom
Director: Rian Johnson Starring: Mark Ruffalo, Adrien Brody, Rachel Weisz, Rinko Kikuchi
Release Date: 10/3
I wasn't really that excited for The Brothers Bloom until I saw the trailer and now I can't wait. It looks like a lot of fun, plus, in what other movie can you see Rinko Kikuchi- as a character named Bang Bang no less- blow a bunch of shit up?

7.

Revolutionary Road
Director: Sam Mendes Starring: Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kathy Bates
Release Date: 12/26
As if it hasn't been said enough, my main reason for wanting to see this is because KATE AND LEO ARE REUNITED!

6.

Burn After Reading
Director: Joel and Ethan Coen Starring: Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich
Release Date: 9/12
I love the Coen Brothers in full-on anarchy mode and the all-star chemistry only adds to my curiousity. Plus, I laugh all the way through that trailer everytime I see it.

5.

Rachel Getting Married
Director: Jonathan Demme Starring: Anne Hathaway, Debra Winger
Release Date: 10/3
Like The Brothers Bloom, I wasn't that excited until I saw the trailer and saw that this film is right up my alley. Anne Hathaway, steadily working her way up the Hollywood foodchain, looks like she has a legitimate chance at an Oscar nomination for her dark, deadpan work.

4.

Milk
Director: Gus Van Sant Starring: Sean Penn, James Franco, Josh Brolin, Emile Hirsch, Diego Luna
Release Date: 11/26
What kind of gay man would I be if I didn't place this one on my list? I'm not a huge Van Sant fan (too avant garde for my taste usually) but he has his moments and the material here is can't miss.

3.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Director: Kenny Ortega Starring: La Tisdale, Zac Efron, Vanessa Anne Hudgens
Release Date: 10/24
The serious film lover in me doesn't want to be so excited for this damn film that I already know is going to suck, but the teenage girl in me is screaming, "OMG, only two months left until I can swoon over Zac Efron on the big screen again!" Add to that the fact that we'll see this year's Best Supporting Actress Oscar winner here from Miss Ashley Tisdale and HSM3 earns its place this high on my list.

2.

Blindness
Director: Fernando Meirelles Starring: Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Danny Glover, Gael Garcia Bernal, Sandra Oh
Release Date: 9/26
A dark, fantastic novel. The most brilliant, underrated director of the past ten years. One of our premier actresses with a juicy character that, if done right, should redeem the past few years of complete shit she's done. An eclectic and exciting supporting cast. Everything's lining up for Blindness to be one of the best films of the year-- let's just hope it fulfills that promise.

1.

Australia
Director: Baz Luhrmann Starring: Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman
Release Date: 11/14 11/26
With every publicity still that's released containing Nicole Kidman looking fabulous and Hugh Jackman looking dashing and romantic, I get even giddier about this film. Add to that the sublimely talented director Baz Luhrmann, who makes every film of his an event, and you've got a potent combination in my eyes. I'm a little pissed I now I have to wait an additional 12 days to see Australia, but if that means the film will get the special attention it deserves than I will patiently wait.

2007 Diva Cup Awards: Best Cameo/Limited Performance

I'm ready to move on with 2008, but before I can do that I have to wrap up 2007 with my annual Diva Cup Awards. This year, I saw 66 films, which is 10 more than I saw in 2006 (and four months sooner, as well) and I am pumped to share with you my favorites in 16 categories. I added a couple of new ones this year and Best Cameo/Limited Performance is one of them. I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think my nominees in this or any category.

P.S. I know I already cheated with having 6 nominees, but there were so many strong cameos this year and I didn't want to split this up into two categories. So sue me.

And the nominees are...

Roger Bart as U.S. Attorney in American Gangster
Bart puts a jolt into the quickly deadening film with a fierce intensity and the shock of seeing Mr. Broadway Nice Guy dropping the "n-word" so viciously.

Jack Black, Justin Long, Paul Rudd and Jason Schwartzman as The Beatles in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
Together, these four shamelessly steal the scene away from John C. Reilly and have the funniest moment of the entire film.

Adam Brody as Stephen Montgomery in The Ten
Brody shows us in The Ten that he can also play characters that aren't Seth Cohen...and he can do so hilariously.

Margo Martindale as Carol in Paris, Je T'Aime
Paris has never seemed lovelier than through the eyes of the bewitching Martindale. I love it when hard working character actresses receive the attention they deserve.

Julianne Moore as Alice Fabian in I'm Not There
Moore ably provides us with the background on Christian Bale's Jack Rollins with her usual warmth. Bonus points for "Hey, that's my chair" and her other small ways of making Alice real.

Kristen Wiig as Jill in Knocked Up
She really serves no purpose in the context of the movie, but Wiig is utterly hilarious dryly (and somewhat, but not really, subtly) putting down Katherine Heigl.


If Only There Were Six Seven: Valerie Tian, Juno Tian turns the one-note Su-Chin into an adorable pro-life poster child

Rest of the Top Ten: Gena Rowlands, Paris Je T'Aime...Steve Buscemi, Paris, Je T'Aime...Nick Nolte, Paris, Je T'Aime

BRONZE
Roger Bart

SILVER
Margo Martindale

GOLD
Jack Black, Justin Long, Paul Rudd and Jason Schwartzman