Nicky Hoult Rubs the Lotion on His Skin

I couldn't give two shits about whatever issue this charity is trying to raise awareness--and, honestly, it sounds like a bogus issue that's so obvious it doesn't even warrant a campaign like this--but any opportunity to see Nicholas Hoult in beach gear applying lotion to himself is worth every cent this bogus charity is throwing at it. I'm just jealous of the bitch who gets to rub the lotion on his skin. Why couldn't someone have hired me for this shoot to talk about one time I got sunburned on my back and it hurt a lot? I would have lied about getting a sunburn on my penis if it meant hanging out with Nicky and letting him apply sunscreen on my chest.

Here's a bonus picture from the shoot. I would love to stand under Nicky's umbrella-ella-ella.

Gurrrrrrrl Please

Imaginary Boyfriends of 2010

Darren Criss

He managed to make Glee watchable for roughly five minutes with his renditions of 'Teenage Dream' and the originally dire 'Hey Soul Sister.' For that alone, he makes what the original Miracle Worker Anne Sullivan did look like child's play. And he was surprisingly sexy and sultry on 'Baby It's Cold Outside,' his duet with Chris Colfer; Lord knows I wouldn't have refused if he asked me to stay the night.

Ed Drewett

He's a hot Aryan ready and willing to save electropop from the clutches of evil doers who want to see it destroyed. You really can't ask for much more than that, can you?

Michael Fassbender

Literally one week into 2010, I witnessed what is perhaps the most indelible image of the year in Fish Tank: Michael Fassbender, shirtless and with pants barely covering his ass, first appears in the life of the film's protagonist. The rest of the film is pure Fassbender Porn as director Andrea Arnold subsequently makes both Katie Jarvis and the audience slowly fall in pure lust with the man. I thought he was particularly charming in last year's Inglourious Basterds, but 2010 was the year when I wanted Michael Fassbender to put me over his knee and spank me as he does to Katie Jarvis at one point in Fish Tank.

Tom Ford and his muse Nicholas Hoult

While Fish Tank was Fassbender Porn, Tom Ford's directorial debut A Single Man was Nicholas Hoult Porn. I didn't get to see it until early in this year but it was so worth the wait. Ford is clearly in love with Nicholas Hoult's face and spends a good amount of time filling the frame with his wonderful mug. And don't even get me started about That Scene! Nick and Tom clearly know what we all want and aren't afraid to give it to us. While Nick was showing the goods on-screen, Tom brings them every time he makes a public appearance. The man is approaching 50 and is as fuckable as ever. Together, this fabulous duo made 2010 that much sexier.

Andrew Garfield

"Oh Andy!" became a popular expression around my Twitter account in the weeks leading into the release of The Social Network and I haven't stopped using it since. There's simply so much to love about this adorable Brit--his talent, his good looks, his awkwardness, his goofiness--and 2010 offered a smorgasbord of Andy delights. The year started with Red Riding: 1974, a British crime drama which featured Andy as a hulking sex god who...I don't know, solves a crime or something? I honestly remember very little of the actual film besides him sexing Rebecca Hall and his glorious Louis Garrel-esque Sex Hair. Next came Never Let Me Go, which was good but felt like a little bit of a retread of his Boy A work. Finally, we have The Social Network, which is hopefully going to snag him an Oscar nomination come January. He does excellent work in the film, bouncing off Eisenberg's introverted asshole savant with his usual subtlety and nuance. Coming up next: the new Spider Man film which, for once, I'm actually excited about like your average fanboy. But I'm sure it's for far different reasons.

Tom Hardy

After Marion Cotillard, the one thing in Inception that left the most vivid impression on me was the hulking, but equally charismatic, Tom Hardy. He clearly wasn't taking the whole premise seriously and managed to inject some fun into the proceedings, mostly through the sexual tension between him and the uptight Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Towards the end of the year, the internet was flooded with on the set images of Hardy on his new film with Reese Witherspoon and Chris Pine called This Means War where he and Pine play best friends who fight over Witherspoon. Any movie where those two go at it is one that is instantly going to the top of my Most Anticipated Movies list.

Francisco Lachowski

Francisco, or Chico as he is affectionately known around the interweb, is one of the most versatile male models on the planet. This Brazilian can do it all: goofy, sensual, sexy, dramatic, intense. And, often, he's able to portray two or three of those at the same time. Chico has a great gift and I hope he continues giving in the next year.

Joe McElderry

I've already gone on at length about why I love La Joe, as we cool kids on Twitter have come to call him, but I still need to mention him on this list. He sings, he dances, he wears leather jackets, he's not interested in Adam Lambert AND he makes me giggle when he falls down. La Joe is clearly a perfect man.

Simon Nessman

This curly-haired Canadian model seems like such a regular, down home guy, especially compared to sexy aloofness that Chico Lachowski and River Viiperi often project. Both types of models are necessary to the modeling world, but Nessman is quite obviously the best at what he does.

Xavier Samuel

I've been in love with Xavier for awhile, but 2010 was the year he made his American breakthrough in the latest installment of the Twilight series. He was so beautiful and so sexy in the film I both forgot about Taylor Lautner momentarily and briefly understood why so many people are turned on by vampires. When he was unceremoniously dragged away by a pack of werewolves to a certain death by the end of the film, I asked my friend in vain if he would be coming back in the next film. Trying to spare my feelings, she told me, "Um, yeah!" The next installment of Twilight will be sorely lacking without this Aussie hunk.

Alexander Skarsgard

The other hot vampire of 2010, Alexander Skarsgard caught my attention earlier this year with his striking good looks and his massive frame. I could only make it through the first season of True Blood, when Alex's hair was so unappealing I could barely muster any sexual interest, but this doesn't prevent me from thinking he's a hot piece of ass.

River Viiperi

This Spanish model made a big breakthrough in 2010 with a wide variety of editorials in a short period of time. His range is nearly as wide as Lachowski's, but he has a signature look in every one of them which sets him apart from nearly every other model in the game. He has clearly taken lessons from Tyra Banks on America's Next Top Model, which is obviously not a bad way to hone your craft.

Someone Needs to Skin the American Version of Skins

I apologize if you're already sick of me ranting about this on my Twitter, but I need to just get all my feelings out once and for all about the impending American version of the break-out British TV show Skins. The first preview for the show, which is set to debut on MTV in January, premiered yesterday after the Jersey Shore finale and really got my blood a-boiling. I would post it here but I really don't want my precious blog to be soiled by that filth. So, if you need to satisfy your curiosity, take a second and look for it yourself.

All caught up now? Good, let's get started.

My biggest complaint with Skins--Yankee Style, as it shall now be referred to, is that it's an exact carbon copy of the original show. Not only have they taken all of the original characters and simply changed some of their names, but they also copied the pilot episode, from the story to the dialogue and right down to the exact same camera angles (it's like Gus Van Sant's Psycho but without the "experimental" excuse). It's 2010, not 1985. You simply can't take a show from across the pond and only exchange the actors for the American version anymore. And you especially cannot do it when the original British show has been as widely available and watched in the U.S. as the original Skins has. The arrogance that the creators of Skins--Yankee Style have is astounding.

For anyone who has seen the original Skins, you are fully aware that the show graphically depicts teenagers swearing up a storm engaged in sex, drug use and a host of other inappropriate activities, many of which you simply can't show on American television. But that's what made the show great; it pushed the boundaries far beyond what something like Gossip Girl, by far the raciest teen show on American network TV, could even dream of doing. By bringing the show to America, there's no way it can get away with half of the shit the original did. And watching a sanitized Skins is worse than not watching Skins at all.

I really wish MTV luck in trying to peddle this shitty excuse for a TV show to viewers who somehow haven't heard of this amazing show. Even if their show is a hit, it will never be as good as the British original because it won't have the amazing ensemble of the first two seasons. Good luck trying to find actors as individually astounding as Nicholas Hoult, Hannah Murray or Kaya Scodelario (Christ, how horrible is the Effy episode going to be?) or a cast with as amazing chemistry as April Pearson, Joseph Dempsie, Mitch Hewer, Larissa Wilson, etc. had with each other. There are so many insurmountable obstacles toward the American version of Skins that I simply have no idea how on Earth it will work.

Half-Way Report 2010

Top 2 Films
I could add Un Prophète, Shutter Island and Toy Story 3 for an even five, but, in all honesty, the only movies that have mattered this year so far were:

02. Prodigal Sons

Kimberly Reed's documentary about the relationship between herself, a post-op transgendered woman trying to reconcile her past as a boy, and her adopted brother who suffers from mental problem after an accident injures his brain is more surprising than a M. Night Shyamalan film. Just when you think you've figured out what Prodigal Sons is about, Reed offers curveball after curveball so extraordinary you can't make it up.

01. Fish Tank

Between Red Road and this, it's obvious that director Andrea Arnold has a thing for isolated, emotionally distant female protagonists. Katie Jarvis is the young woman here and, along with Arnold, she is lead down a confusing path of familial relationships and sexuality with no outlet other than her dancing. Fish Tank was the first 2010 film I saw and nothing I've seen has come close to matching it. The issues the film raises are issues no other filmmaker even considers and is done with sheer intelligence.

Top 5 Performances
05. Tahar Rahim, Un Prophète
Rahim subtly and unassumingly ingratiates himself into the prison and its structure to the point where you barely even notice until he practically runs the place.
04. Anne Hathaway, Valentine's Day
Meet Annie Hathaway, Comedic Firestorm. I was nearly in tears every time her storyline came on. And that Russian accent!
03. James Marsden, Death at a Funeral
His scene stealing turn as a drugged-out funeral attendee saved this remake from sheer stupidity.
02. Kristen Stewart, The Runaways
The vocal inflections are pure Kristen but physically she inhabits the hulking, brooding Joan Jett. Twilight aside, she continues to prove she's an actress on the verge of a breakthrough.

01. Katie Jarvis & Michael Fassbender, Fish Tank
An on-screen pairing of epic proportions. Together, they walk a fine line between hot-blooded lust and inappropriate sexual advances.

Top 7 Rentals
This includes re-screenings which involved drastic changes of opinion.
07. Gosford Park (Robert Altman, 2001)
I don't think I quite understood what Altman was going for in this film the first go-around (I think I expected more of an out-and-out comedy). This time, however, everything made much more sense.
06. Another Woman (Woody Allen, 1988)
One of the Woodman's most unusual collaborations, this time with Queen of Indie Cinema Gena Rowlands as a cold professor who can't gauge people's true feelings towards her. As she goes about trying to reconcile this situation and discover her own inner feelings, it becomes clear that this is another fantastic Bergman homage melded with the usual Allen themes.
05. The Collector (William Wyler, 1965)
A shy, emotionally damaged young man kidnaps a young woman and holds her prisoner in his basement. Not nearly as morbid as it sounds since all he wants from her is her love. What makes The Collector so unusual is the twisted relationship Terence Stamp and Samantha Eggar develop over time and, like Fish Tank, the sexual issues the film raises. Read the fantastic book as well for even more perspective.
04. The Conformist (Bernardo Bertolucci, 1970)
A stylish take on one man's incessant desire to fit in, no matter the consequences. There's so much history stuffed into The Conformist, so much that it almost becomes integral to fully understanding the film, that it's easy to see why I didn't get this movie back in high school.
03. Tout Va Bien (Jean-Luc Godard and Jean-Pierre Gorin, 1972)
Godard and Jane Fonda unite for a spirited takedown of the political climate in early 70's France. There's no real plot to speak of and, as always, there are a lot of political monologues spoken directly into the camera, but no film since Bowling for Columbine has made me want take part in some political revolution like Tout Va Bien did. And that final long take in the grocery store is more epic than all of David Lean's work combined.
02. Applause (Rouben Mamoulian, 1929)
Groundbreaking talkie from the era of clunkers like The Broadway Melody. Read my review here.
01. The Battle of Algiers (Gillo Pontecorvo, 1966)
Intelligent in both film technique and politics, The Battle of Algiers and its call to arms against the oppression of 20th century imperialism is truly a one-of-a-kind experience.

Top 5 Singles
This was seriously hard to narrow down since there have been at least 20 phenomenal singles released already this year. I love these songs so much I can't even explain my love for them. Just click on the link and listen (if you haven't already) to experience for yourself.
05. Diana Vickers 'Once'
04. Robyn 'Dancing On My Own'
03. Janelle Monáe 'Cold War'
02. M.I.A 'XXXO'
01. Gabriella Cilmi 'On a Mission'

Top 5 Bonus Tracks, B-Sides, Remixes and Assorted Non-Singles
05. Kris Allen 'Let It Be'
This was my contribution to the Haiti relief. Easily a more accomplished cash-in on that tragedy than 'We Are the World' and 'Everybody Hurts.'
04. Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart 'Cherry Bomb'
Surprisingly addictive given the fact Dakota and Kristen are hardly singers. I suppose that doesn't matter since punk rock doesn't exactly require a Whitney Houston voice. Still, their version of 'Cherry Bomb' has enough bite to make every other Girl Power anthem in the past few years look as antiquated as a 50's housewife.
03. Alex Gardner 'Heartbreak'
Not sure if this will be a future single but any doubt about whether Gardner could enter the super-stylized world of Xenomania was erased after this gorgeous song.
02. Britney Spears 'Telephone'
Not superior to the GaGa version by any means, and it loses points for not having the Beyoncé verse, but Brit's demo version of 'Telephone' from the Circus days is so Britney. Her growl is so distinctive and proves to be a real asset in making this version work. Now if someone can get a proper recording with Beyoncé, my life would be complete.
01. Florrie 'Call 911 (Fred Falke Remix)'
An electropop masterpiece. Florrie, current drummer for the Xenomania houseband, with the help of Fred Falke, turns this simple pop tune into a 7 minute epic dancefloor piece. Can't wait to hear what she cranks out next.

Top 5 Albums
05. Ke$ha Animal
What I love most about Ke$ha is that she seems to understand and accept who she is as an artist. Animal doesn't pretend to be anything but the drunken party album it is. And for that I'm grateful.
04. Miley Cyrus Can't Be Tamed
Miley's big FUCK YOU to Disney and her former life as a tween star only gets better for me. Glad to see that's she finally starting to embrace the pop goddess inside of her.
03. Kelis Flesh Tone
The R&B singer embraces the electropop for a stunning change of pace from Tasty years ago.
02. Alphabeat The Spell/The Beat Is...
This is Alphabeat was their throwback to the 80's. The Spell/The Beat Is... is Alphabeat's throwback to Ace of Base-style 90's pop. Needless to say, their inspirations are simply divine and help fuel this creative, constantly arresting album.

01. Robyn Body Talk Pt. 1
It took a couple listens in a row in my car to show just how brave this album is. Not immediately accessible, Body Talk Pt. 1 proves to be entrancing once you start to understand Robyn's intention with each of her songs. And, in its oddity, it feels more like a cohesive album than many others released this year.

Top 5 Music Videos
05. Miley Cyrus 'Can't Be Tamed'
Miley ditches Disney, takes notes from Britney's complicated persona and dresses like the rare caged bird she is.
04. Rihanna 'Rude Boy'
After the darkness that surrounded both 'Russian Roulette' and 'Hard,' Rihanna lightened up quite a bit with this fun, colorful clip for what is obviously the most commercial song off Rated R.
03. Mark Ronson featuring Q-Tip and MDNR 'Bang Bang Bang'
Simultaneously a throwback to early 80's New Wave videos and a parody of crazy Japanese television.
02. M.I.A. 'Born Free'
As frightening and vivid as a film like Children of Men. She also gets points for understanding how to intersperse a 3 minute song into a 9 minute video (something Lady GaGa should take notes on).
01. Alphabeat 'DJ (I Could Be Dancing)'
In the same way that Nelly Furtado's 'Say It Right' video does, the whole of 'DJ (I Could Be Dancing)' is greater than the sum of its parts. Nothing about each individual set up is particularly unique, even if it does have a great neo-80's feel. But, collectively, the images add up to a particularly arresting video. I can't quite put my finger on why, but 'DJ (I Could Be Dancing)' is a video I can watch over and over again without growing bored.

Top 3 Obsessions
03. Setsuko Hara
The Japanese actress impressed the hell out of me last summer when I saw Ozu's Tokyo Story, but two more performances in two Kurosawa flicks have proven she was an actress of incomparable talent. No Regrets for Our Youth showed her in stone-faced, taking-on-the-sins-of-the-world mode while Hakuchi was her violent, explosive Bette Davis performance.
02. Xavier Samuel
I've been in love with this Aussie hottie for awhile now, but the anticipation for his American debut in Twilight Saga: Eclipse (assessment: he doesn't let us down) was what drove me over the edge.
01. Nicholas Hoult's Bum
I mean, have you seen it lately?

Top 5 (New) Hot Guys

05. Simon Nessman

04. Dave Franco

03. Dylan Forsberg

02. Michael Fassbender

01. Alexander Skarsgard

Top 5 Favorite Posts
05. So Many Women, So Little Time: The Sexual Politics of Up in the Air and Nine
According to these films, boys rule and girls drool.
04. My Senior Thesis: Ordinary People, Spice World, Saratoga Trunk
Some of the pieces I wrote for my senior thesis that I worked on during the past semester of school.
03. People Who Can Stop Sucking It: Katy Perry
This is still the best thing that happened during the Godforsaken ninth season of American Idol.
02. Ten Essential Film Performances of the 2000's
Julianne Moore, Nicole Kidman and...La Tisdale? My strange collection of the most important performances of the past decade.
01. Actor Devotionals: Jean-Pierre Léaud
My look at the career and on-screen persona of New Wave icon, and my favorite actor, Jean-Pierre Léaud. I know a lot of people don't really know JPL beyond The 400 Blows, but this is probably my favorite piece I've ever written.

It's Not Easy Being a Muse

Poor Nicky, getting attacked by those angry looking birds like he was an extra in Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Whoever said being Tom Ford's muse was all sunshine and rainbows (and sexy makeout times) obviously has no idea what they're talking about. On a positive note, at least this isn't happening to him (totally NSFW, by the way).

EXCLUSIVE: Nicky Hoult Likes to Hang Out With Girls (And Possibly Touch Their Boobs)

Apparently, one of Nicky Hoult's publicists decided that he's spent a bit too much time associated with gay things. Which, if you think about it, he has sort of built his career on homoerotic parts. Whether he's making out with Maxxie on series one of Skins, performing on the West End in the gay-themed New Boy, showing off his bum in A Single Man or modeling for Tom Ford as his new muse, Nicky does enjoy the gay material. So, in an effort to prove Nicky isn't a big fat homo, someone decided to link him with burgeoning Disney starlet Victoria Justice this past weekend at Wimbledon. I don't want to say this was a bad idea, but let's just say they look about as interested in each other as Clay Aiken and one of his female backup singers.

To be honest, I doubt this was a hookup of any sorts. More than likely, the two of them happened to be next to each other, not paying attention and someone snapped a photo of them. I doubt Nicky even knows who Victoria Justice is (hell, she's only a Nickelodeon star); he certainly has better things to do (being someone's muse takes up a lot of time, don't you know?). If they're gonna pair him up with some American tween starlet, how about someone, you know, actually interesting. I hear Demi is single these days (although she just stopped being someone else's beard). How about Selena? Everybody likes her (except my friend Kelli because she's "too cute").

And, for your enjoyment, here are some bonus pictures of our boy Nicky sans Nickelodeon starlet. I have to say, after looking at these photographs, it's becoming more and more evident that other men should just give up on life. There's no way you're ever going to be as perfect as Nicky, so why fucking bother?

A Defense of Kristen Stewart's BAFTA Rising Star Award...About Three Months Later

I wrote this piece for a project that never got off the ground soon after the BAFTA Awards this year. I was tempted to just toss it out for its irrelevancy, but I think I say some things in here that need to be said. As a lifelong Kristen Stewart lover, I am a bit tired of having to defend her every time I open my mouth when there are so many other actors in her position that seem to get a free pass. Anyways, just ignore the fact this is old news and focus on my defense.

Kristen Stewart’s (admittedly unsurprising) win at the BAFTAs last weekend a couple months ago caused a major ruckus among “serious” film buffs, bloggers and critics. Well, I am here (also unsurprisingly) to stand up for Ms. Stewart and her win, a well-deserved one at that. First of all, let’s get one major thing out of the way: the Orange Rising Star Award is a major load of bollocks. In all honestly, if you’re going to get so upset about an award that basically amounts to the same thing as a People’s Choice Award, congratulations, you are officially the saddest person on the planet. I, for one, have better things to save my irrational hatred for (for instance, American Idol results or the Oscars).

Secondly, looking at Stewart’s competition in the category, as stiff as it was, she still deserved the damn award. No offense to Tahar Rahim, who I’m sure is wonderful in A Prophet, but in all seriousness, what does this award matter to him? As a French Arab, he has about a 5% chance of ever being in a film that receives international distribution again (let alone one with the acclaim of A Prophet). He may be fantastic in the film, but a breakthrough artist award seems a bit silly. I like Jesse Eisenberg. I adore his awkward shtick, plus he gets on my nerves less than Michael Cera does these days. But, honestly, an award for it seems too much at the moment. Give him a couple of films and let’s see if he is able to expand upon his persona in any significant way. You all know that Nicholas Hoult is my new boo. I’m truly thrilled that he is finally getting international exposure after being on the brink for oh-so-long. With that being said, however, A Single Man is seriously the least interesting performance I’ve seen from him. He is not bad in the role; rather, the role requires very little of him besides to get naked (oh how glorious that is!) and to be a lusty object of affection for both Colin Firth’s George and Tom Ford himself. If he was nominated in 2007 when series one of Skins was on the air, then I could see giving him the award for that staggering, volatile performance. And now we come to Carey Mulligan, everyone’s favorite “It Girl’ for 2009. I’ve gotten a lot of flack for not being absolutely smitten with her and her performance in An Education. I keep insisting that, yes, I do think she’s rather good in An Education and can see a bright future for her. What I don’t think, however, is that she Revolutionized Screen Acting As We Know It as many of her supporters seem to think. My God, she’s not Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire. Mulligan offers a nice, pleasant, occasionally grating, performance but nothing more. Besides, wasn’t her Best Actress win enough of a compensation for not winning this silly award? Oh no. She must win every award under the sun because she is the greatest British actor around since Sir Laurence Olivier.


So what about Kristen Stewart? How about I start off with my usual list of reasons why I love her: She’s refreshingly awkward and unpolished. She couldn’t craft a sound byte to save her life. Her “Stewart-isms” are soothing for me. Her performances, Twilight aside, are risky and unexpected. Unlike most 19-year old actresses slumming it in cheap high school romantic comedies and horror movies, she revels in dark, moody works that allow her to wallow in wordless distress. I could probably go on and on, but I will stop right there. I find it ridiculous that, over and over again, I find myself defending her from Stewart-haters who can’t seem to get over the fact that she stars in Twilight, which, by golly, is consistently pretty bad but also made a shit-ton of money. As if she’s the first actress to act in a shitty, high-grossing film series solely for a nice paycheck and career exposure. “But,” I’m sure you’re arguing, “she won this award for those movies!” Yes, she did; I can’t argue with that. But, Shia LaBeouf also won this very same award two years ago after the mega success of a little film called Transformers, and no one seemed to give a shit then. Why? Because he’s a “serious” actor who is “serious” about his craft. Yeah. Everything he’s done since then--Indiana Jones, Eagle Eye, Transformers 2--has been solely for the advancement of the art form. If you’re going to discredit an actor solely on what they won for, at least do it consistently (But Shia constantly gets a free pass from everyone, for God knows whatever reason. If Kristen Stewart had done half the shit he has, she would have been crucified by now. But I digress). But, if anyone had bothered watching New Moon before they started bitching about anything and everything about it, they might have noticed that Stewart was noticeably better this go-around, much breezier and smoother than she was in the first installment. She’s not earth-shattering by any means, but, then again, she’s hardly a commercial actress meant for blockbusters. In a way, I imagine she’ll have a career much like Nicole Kidman’s once this Twilight business ends: every couple of years she’ll pop out a commercial film that will most likely not do very well at the box office, but in between she’ll flourish with risky, dark, uncommercial indies. With the potential for this, how can you not support Stewart and her Rising Star Award? She appears to be going places, but even if she crashes and burns, it will be damn interesting watching her doing it.

2009 Diva Cup Awards: The "Extra" Categories

Who said May was too late to start my year-end Diva Cup Awards for 2009? Everyone? Oh well. You all know I'm no slave to timelines and I decided this year particularly that I wasn't going to rush myself into "finishing" the year by some certain date. I wanted to stop and smell the roses, so to speak, and relish the year in filmmaking. It turns out I chose the wrong year to do that, but that's neither here nor there. Anyways, let's get this motherfucker started, shall we? First up are my "extra" awards, the categories you won't see in the Oscar broadcast but are simply too awesome to resist honoring.

Best Ensemble

Adventureland
[Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Margarita Levieva, Ryan Reynolds, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Matt Bush, Martin Starr]


The Brothers Bloom
[Adrien Brody, Rachel Weisz, Mark Ruffalo, Rinko Kikuchi]


In the Loop
[Peter Capaldi, Tom Hollander, Olivia Poulet, Chris Addison, Mimi Kennedy, Anna Chlumsky, James Gandolfini, David Rasche, Zach Woods]


Inglourious Basterds
[Brad Pitt, Christoph Waltz, Mélanie Laurent, Diane Kruger, Michael Fassbender, Daniel Brühl]


Star Trek
[Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, Anton Yelchin, John Cho, Eric Bana, Simon Pegg, Leonard Nimoy]


And the Diva Cup Goes to: The Brothers Bloom

Best Scene

(500) Days of Summer
Reality/Fantasy
Description: Summer invites Tom to her party months after breaking up and recently reconnecting. Tom imagines the situation going one way, while, in a split screen, we see what actually happens.

In this heartbreaking scene, the truth emerges: the once perfect relationship is truly over. Reality is a total bitch.

Away We Go
Finale
Description: The couple finally decides on the perfect place to raise their child.

Sniffle. Who knew that the usual quirkiness was all leading up to this pitch-perfect emotional finale?

An Education
Miss Stubbs Confronts Jenny
Description: Sensing that usually bright Jenny is putting her valuable education on hold for a her beau, Miss Stubbs decides to offer some (apparently unwanted) advice.

In a movie full of two-dimensional adults who just don't "get" Jenny, Miss Stubbs quiet confrontation proves that someone is truly looking out for her needs.

Obsessed
The Catfight
Description: Ali Larter touched her child, so B decides to take out her pent up aggression on Larter's face in the most insanely glorious catfight ever captured on film.

I was laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants. This is what camp cinema is all about.

A Single Man
George and Charley's Dance
Description: Old friends George and Charley let loose for a few moments as they dance to a hip new song.

The simple moment speaks volumes about the nature of George and Charley's relationship. They've been through it all together and are so comfortable in each others presence they can make an ass out of themselves and not give a crap.

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Obsessed

Best Musical Scene


(500) Days of Summer
"You Make My Dreams"
The perfect exaltation of love and happiness after the first night with someone you love.


Adventureland
"Don't Dream It's Over"
This clip is sadly unavailable, but it's the moment that I realized Adventureland was truly something special. "Don't Dream It's Over" perfectly captures this sentimental mood and seems to raise more questions about Kristen Stewart's character than it answers.



Nine
"A Call From the Vatican"
Oh, hi there! Glad to see you could make it, penis. This is something, huh?



Nine
"Take It All"
The perfect "fuck you" moment ever captured on film.



Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself
"Rock Steady"
Done with such authority and conviction, I couldn't believe Henson was lip syncing. Bonus points for rocking that fro!


And the Diva Cup Goes to: Adventureland

Best Quote

In the Loop
"Is that why you said, 'Climbing the mountain of conflict'? You sounded like a Nazi Julie Andrews."
Peter Capaldi is quite possibly the greatest swearer on the planet, but he didn't need to drop an f-bomb to make this quote vividly funny.


The Lovely Bones
"You have a TOMB in the middle of your HOUSE!"
I have no idea how Sarandon fits in with the whole of The Lovely Bones but her line delivery here is top notch.


Nine
"Because I have no more/There's nothing left to give"
Luisa's mega outburst in "Take It All" excellently sums up just how drained she is dealing with him and this "marriage."


Obsessed
"You listen to me. You know who this is. You came into my house? You touched my child? You think you're crazy? I'll show you crazy. Just try me. Bitch."
Beyoncé, I surrender! As soon as she uttered this line, her performance was never quite the same. The film may have been a trainwreck, but she was not going quietly into the night.


Precious
"Love ain't done nothin' for me...but beat me, rape me, call me an animal! Make me feel worthless."
Not gonna lie, I almost teared up here. Sidibe's reading of this line is positively heartbreaking.

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Obsessed

Breakthrough Performance



Sharlto Copley, District 9
Anchors a tough sci-fi action movie with sharp political messages on his shoulders like a regular Tom Cruise or Will Smith (except, you know, talented).











Sterling Knight, 17 Again
Before I knew what a Chad Dylan Cooper was, Sterling Knight impressed the hell out of me as Zac Efron's son in 17 Again. Ignoring the usual child actor beats you'd expect in a film like this, Knight is legitimately funny, continuously pushing his co-stars to match his natural delivery.









Mélanie Laurent, Inglourious Basterds
Taking over the reigns from Uma Thurman as QT's figurehead is no easy task. Laurent, however, bravely accepts the challenge and strikes some fierce poses along the way. Acting with your body taken to the extreme.








Carey Mulligan, An Education
And you all thought I hated her, huh? I must admit that I still don't quite get all the "She deserved the Oscar, damnit!" hoopla that surrounded her all last season. With that being said, I believe she has potential for greatness. An Education was just a beginning, so let's hope she improves.









Gabourey Sidibe, Precious
What I love most about Gabby is the fact that after giving an almost impenetrable performance in Precious, she bombarded the awards circuit with her effervescent personality. The two sides of her almost don't mix but shows that she offers an array of possibilities in the future.

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Gabourey Sidibe, Precious

Best Diva

Taraji P. Henson as April in Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself
Diva Moment: Her angry reaction to continuously being woken up after a long night at the club (and sleeping with her married beau).


Rinko Kikuchi as Bang Bang in The Brothers Bloom
Diva Moment: Her soundless giggles after blowing shit up.


Diane Kruger as Bridget von Hammersmark in Inglourious Basterds
Diva Moment: Her general demeanor--playful, overly nice to her fans--during the bar scene. She has no over-the-top moments, but her attitude here betrays the fact that she's seen it all...twice.


Susan Sarandon as Grandma Lynn in The Lovely Bones
Diva Moment: The cleaning montage--Grandma attempts to perform an variety of household chores with a ciggy dangling out of her mouth and a drink never out of reach.


Tilda Swinton as Julia in Julia
Diva Moment: The opening scene--a drunken Julia gets lost in the music (and numerous men).

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Rinko Kikuchi, The Brothers Bloom

Best Sexpot

Penélope Cruz, Nine
Hottest Scene: 'A Call From the Vatican' turned me straight momentarily.


Zac Efron, 17 Again
Hottest Scene: I was literally swooning during the opening moments with Efron shooting hoops shirtless.


Nicholas Hoult, A Single Man
Hottest Scene: Slyly baring his ass in front of Colin Firth.


Taylor Lautner, Twilight Saga: New Moon
Hottest Scene: Sitting on Bella's bed, shirtless, just taunting her (and us in the audience!) with his raw sexuality. I nearly passed out.


Chris Pine, Star Trek
Hottest Scene: Sexin' that alien chick. Lord how I wanted to trade places with her--green skin and all.

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Taylor Lautner, Twilight Saga: New Moon

Best Cameo/Limited Performance




Steve Buscemi, The Messenger
A moving performance that travels a wide gamut of emotions in a short period of time. Buscemi, ever the old pro, makes it look easy.











Mariah Carey, Precious
Ditches the vanity and her diva persona for a beautifully down-to-earth performance. She listens, she absorbs, she reacts but never once steals the thunder from Sidibe or Mo'Nique. Glitter who?








Sally Hawkins, An Education
She only appears for a brief moment of time, but Hawkins provides a pivotal moment of clarity for both Mulligan's character and the film as a whole.










Anna Kendrick, Twilight Saga: New Moon
Clever, precise and uproariously funny. I nearly peed my pants during her line reading of "Movies with Bella? Funnnnn." A much better representation of Kendrick's talents than her Oscar-nominated work in Up in the Air.









Catherine O'Hara, Away We Go
Brings her usual hilarious self to propel Krasinski & Rudolph's journey toward self-discovery.

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Mariah Carey, Precious

Best Poster





Antichrist
Snip snip! A delicious in-joke.











Funny People
I'm not sure why I'm so attached to this poster, but I find it completely adorable.











The Headless Woman
Says more about the film than you'd ever guess a poster could. The way she's turned away from the camera shows just how disconnected the character is from her world.










The Informant!
It's this year's House Bunny: a completely stupid expression selling an entire film.












Precious
The poster is a work of art on its own. Beautifully abstract.

And the Diva Cup Goes to: The Headless Woman