15 Albums

Over on my Facebook page, I was tagged in a new meme asking for "fifteen albums you've heard that will always stick with you." I completed the challenge on Facebook, but I thought I should take some time and explain my reasoning behind my choices. These are not necessarily what I believe to be the "best" albums of all time; rather, each of them has some sort of personal significance in my life, whether they remind me of someone or a particular moment in my life or simply have come to define me as a person.

Paula Abdul Forever Your Girl

As I've stated multiple times before, Paula Abdul was the first music artist I ever loved. I remember being in kindergarten, on the way to school and getting excited whenever 'Straight Up' came on the radio. My first exposure to the entire album came from perhaps the strangest of circumstances: my mother's co-worker's daughter had the album on cassette and let us borrow the now five-year-old album so we could copy it onto our own blank cassette. Yes, I was illegally downloading music before illegally downloading music was cool. Since it was the only album I owned for quite a few years, I played the shit out of it whenever I could. To this day, I still get a rush of nostalgia whenever I hear 'Cold Hearted' or 'The Way That You Love Me' on my iTunes. Because of this album, Paula is forever my girl.

Spice Girls Spice

To be honest, I can't exactly remember where or how I first heard about the Spice Girls. At the time, my favorite radio station was my mother's 70's/80's/90's station that wasn't exactly hip when it came to new music. All I know is that when I fell for Emma, Victoria, Geri and the Mels, I fell for them HARD and there was no turning back. Spice was my go-to album for a long, long time and I still stand by it as a legitimate pop classic and not the teeny bopper shit many accuse it of being.

Spice Girls Spice World

Almost as soon as I was addicted to Spice, the Girls' follow up album was released in America. I believe I got it for my birthday a few months after, but I loved it as much, if not more, than Spice. I listened to that album so damn much, particularly 'Stop,' my favorite song they've ever done, it has the distinction of being the first cassette I broke. One day, the tape inside the cassette just went haywire and spooled out. It was a sad day for me (probably not my parents who I'm sure were sick of the damn thing) but at least I had my memories with the album.

Mariah, Gloria, Shania, Aretha & Celine Divas Live '98

Along with NSYNC's debut album, this was the first album I ever got on CD. I can't remember if I watched the live special when it aired, but I'm guessing my parents bought it for me because I was fucking obsessed with Mariah and both Celine and Gloria were two of my favorite singers at the time. Good instincts on their part as I simply couldn't get enough of this album. Not only was it packed full of amazing divas, foreshadowing both my homosexuality and my immense love of over-the-top personalities, but I also loved the banter and spoken intros between each of the songs. I'm sure if I listened to the album right now I could mime accurately to about 80% of it.

Britney Spears ...Baby One More Time

Back when Brit actually attempted to sing, I thought she had one of the best voices I had ever heard. I had a lot to learn about music, apparently, but it's easy to see why this woman and this album meant so much to me during a time when my one true love, the Spice Girls, were splitting up. Her carefree dance-pop was just what this 11 year-old needed to get pumped for another grueling day of elementary school. Trust me, I have a handful of dance routines I choreographed in my free time before I had to catch the bus. My father must be proud.

Madonna The Immaculate Collection

I knew and liked Madonna through songs like 'Holiday' and 'Into the Groove,' but it wasn't until I checked out this album from my library that I became a superfan. This album has become so ingrained in me, I find it hard to dig into the rest of her discography; everytime I try one of her old albums, I instantly grow restless and want to listen to these wonderful singles all over again.

Janet Jackson Control

I think Janet Jackson obsession started with Design of a Decade, but Control will always be the album I'll think of when I think of her.

Various Artists Music from the Motion Picture "Chicago"

When I saw Chicago on DVD, I liked the movie but I wasn't as crazy about it as I am. It wasn't until the school play my sophomore year of high school when my castmates would sing the songs from this soundtrack over and over again when I became obsessed with it. I actually owned the soundtrack before I ever bought the film, so by the time I saw the movie again, I knew every damn word of the soundtrack.

Kelly Clarkson Breakaway

My God, I don't know if kids these days understand just how huge this album was back in the day. You couldn't spend an hour listening to the radio without either 'Since U Been Gone,' 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' or 'Because of You' coming on. People I knew who weren't fans of pop music were obsessed with Kelly and this album. And, most of all, I just love Kelly. She's the reason my obsession with American Idol lasted for as long as it did.

Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols

I'm not exactly sure what exactly I watched or read that convinced me that I needed to give Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols a listen, but I'm eternally grateful for inspiring something in me to take a chance on something way out of my music comfort zone. The first few times I listened to the album, I was unimpressed and quietly ignored it for awhile. Then, something happened and I decided to give it another listen. It was like I was listening to a brand new album. The Sex Pistols are one of the few punk bands I've encountered (in my very, very limited experience) who didn't sacrifice melody for hardness, vocal quality for loudness. This is quite literally the one anomaly in my iTunes, as evidenced by the fact that they are wedged between Selena Gomez & the Scene and Shakira.

Various Artists Music from the Motion Picture "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut"

I was a late bloomer to discovering the genius of South Park. Up until my junior year of high school, I thought it was nothing but television made for immature people who loved endless fart and shit jokes. But then my friend lent me South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut and I immediately changed my tune. This was some smart shit made by people who knew what the fuck they were talking about. And the smartest thing about the movie has to be the soundtrack, which manages to be both a parody of the typical movie musical and insightful social commentary. Plus, any soundtrack that has a song with a lyric that goes, "Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka!" can't be all bad, can it?

ABBA Gold

I have always known about ABBA and even knew a handful of their songs courtesy of The A*Teens, but it wasn't until my last couple years of high school when I actually realized just how kickass they were. It all started with an innocent car trip with my friend and her grandparents. Her grandmother is a huge ABBA fan and had Gold playing the CD player. My friend and I were bored so we started making dumb choreography to the songs. This continued through many songs until her grandmother, never one to not let her annoyance and opinion be heard, yelled at us, "Shut. Up. Back. There." I had so much jammin' to the songs that I asked my friend to burn me a copy and the rest, as they say, is history.

Justin Timberlake FutureSex/LoveSounds

JT's FutureSex/LoveSounds had the fortunate distinction of coming out right as I was settling into my freshman year of college. The album really has nothing to do with all the changes I was going through at the time, but it's the one that's most deeply associated with that period of my life.

Britney Spears Blackout

I was pumped for the Britney comeback ever since she divorced Kevin Federline in 2006. When the album finally came around in late 2007, I was ridiculously excited for what was being called Britney's best album yet. On the day of its release, I was like a meth addict waiting impatiently for my next hit. I didn't have a car at that point so I asked my friend who lived down the hall if she would take me to buy it. She agreed and by the time we left, another younger girl I only slightly knew had joined us. We went to the first store and I ran like a madman to the music section only to discover that it was sold out. I was upset, but my friend who drove started yelling at the guy working in the electronics department like it was his fault. We ended up going to two more stores, coming out both times empty-handed, and I was more crazed with each rejection. I looked like a madman in front of the new girl, but I didn't care; I wanted Britney, damnit (in case you're wondering, the girl who accompanied us became a very good friend whom I lived with until a couple weeks ago).

Girls Aloud Out of Control

By the time the release date for Girls Aloud's Out of Control rolled by, I was already a devotee of the Way of the Aloud. I started after the release of Tangled Up and it quickly grew over the following months. Out of Control was the first Girls Aloud album where I could join in on the pre-release ritual for any of my favorite acts. When 'The Promise' came out, I listened to that song at least 30 times the day I first got it. There was no turning back after that. I should also let the record show that Out of Control is still my favorite Girls Aloud album ever.

My Two-Cents on Paula Abdul's Departure from Idol

In case you've been living under a rock the past couple of days (or, you know, you have a life that doesn't revolve around pop culture), Paula Abdul has decided to leave her position as a judge on the highest rated show on television, American Idol. Now, I've talked about this before, but Paula and her music have been a huge part of my life--her 'Straight Up' was the first song I ever LOVED--so I was heartbroken when I heard this news the other night. Love her or hate her, the show just won't be the same without her. Her bubbly, fun loving demeanor and inarticulate criticisms were often the only thing to make the show interesting on contestants' off nights. You never knew what she was going to do next and that was the joy in watching her.

It was because of this unpredictability that Paula has become to many a media mockery, a "trainwreck" waiting to happen. But there's more to her than the fool the media has branded her. Behind her slurred speech and crazy gesticulations, there's an intelligent, caring human being underneath. If you look past all the distractions and Simon's irritating "Huh?" anytime she tried to make a good point or go against the panel, she knows exactly what she's talking about when giving advice to these superstars-in-training. No one, besides maybe Britney, has been fucked in the ass more by the industry than Paula Abdul. People forget that when they make fun of her. She's gone through more shit than any of us care to imagine.

With Paula gone, I'm afraid the chemistry at the judges table will forever be slightly off. Who will be the lone voice of reason and kindness amid Randy's "dawg"'s, Kara retarded ramblings and Simon's sarcasm (even if he's been getting lazier and lazier)? They're already trying to replace her with guest judges Katy Perry (ew) and my beloved Victoria Beckham, but neither of them are Paula or will even come close to replacing her.

Tag, I'm It

Over at Tapeworthy, I was tagged by Vance to do this lovely meme. Not missing an opportunity to talk about myself, I decided to fill it out.

Here are the rules: Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.

The 7 Facts:

1. When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be a hockey player when I grew up. Never mind the fact that I couldn't skate, had never been on the ice, or wasn't athletic in the least.

2. The first song I ever loved was Paula Abdul's "Straight Up." I used to hear it on the radio on the way to kindergarten all the time and fell in love. My mom borrowed the "Forever Your Girl" cassette from her co-worker's daughter and then made me a copy that I listened to a million times. This is why I'm so supportive of Paula, no matter what crazy shit she does on American Idol.

3. I've never cried during a movie, but I have bawled like a baby while reading A Walk to Remember and Gone With the Wind.

4. If I could live in any other place and time, I would definitely pick 1920's Hollywood. I love the fashion, the carefree attitude of the flappers and the silent era.

5. One time, my friend and I drove for over an hour just to get a Cinnabon. It was delicious by the way.

6. I haven't dressed up for Halloween or have gone trick-or-treating since 7th grade. Even as a young kid, I was uncomfortable wearing a costume (I once got in a huge argument with my mother in elementary school about drawing a mustachio on my face when I went as a devil) and I'm not very creative, anyways. Plus, my family always had candy lying around the house so why would I need to go out and get more candy that I didn't need?

7. When I was really young, I had this strange dream about Charlie Chaplin that freaked me out for years. He didn't do anything in the dream, but something about them bugged the fuck out of me. Years later, after I bought a set of Chaplin shorts, I couldn't watch them late at night because I was still freaked out by that dream.

7 Links
1. Valley Dreamin'
2. Fataculture
3. Vera's Big Gay Blog
4. PUXZKKX
5. Because I Saw the Film
6. Stale Popcorn
7. My Stuff and Cr*p

My Emmy's (Part 2)

Last week I gave you Part 1 of what my ballot would look like if I voted for the Emmy's. Now, here's Part 2, which consists of Supporting and Guest Performances and Reality Shows. Winners will be announced in a couple of days.

Best Supporting Actress (Comedy)
Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies
Dana Delaney, Desperate Housewives
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Becki Newton, Ugly Betty
Michelle Patterson, I Love New York 2
Wanda Sykes, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty

This category was so overloaded with great performances that I just couldn't narrow it down to 5. Vanessa Williams is, to me, the main reason to watch Ugly Betty. Vain, self-centered, impeccably dressed and always ready to throw out a one-liner, Williams' Wilhelmina Slater brings the goods everytime she comes on screen. Becki Newton's Amanda is just as treacherous as Wilhelmina, if only more upfront about it, and gets nearly as many laughs being as silly and ridiculous as possible. As a comedienne, Wanda Sykes is severely underrated. Not only is she great at stand-up, but she's also a fantastic actress. She should have won the Oscar for her work in 2005's Monster in Law, her first TV show Wanda at Large was hilarious but canceled too quickly and she was the best thing about Evan Almighty. On The New Adventures of Old Christine, she often has me dying of laughter because of the way she doesn't put up with Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Christine's bullshit and calls her out on it all of the time. Kristin Chenoweth's character on Pushing Daisies could have gotten annoying over time. Thankfully Chenoweth keeps her light and ultimately charming in her own peculiar way. Dana Delaney's latest housewife brought the drama this season on Desperate Housewives and who didn't love her bitchfights with Marcia Cross' Bree? Again, I realize that I Love New York 2 is technically a reality show, but Tiffany Pollard had to get her craziness from somewhere- and that somewhere is her mother, Michelle ("Sister") Patterson. Admit it: you loved her reaction when she first met Midget Mac and thought it was hilarious every time she brought up her "third eye." Jane Krakowski's Jenna didn't get much face time this season, but when she did it was magical. Divas don't come any bigger (or more delusional) than Jenna and we love her for it. Best moment: when finding Liz's positive pregnancy test, her response is "Someone's going to get more attention than me."

Best Supporting Actress (Drama)
Rose Byrne, Damages
Jill Clayburgh, Dirty Sexy Money
Lisa Edelstein, House
Taraji P. Henson, Boston Legal (ABC)
Natalie Zea, Dirty Sexy Money

I gave up on Boston Legal this season after reaching the breaking point with it's preachy monologues in place of actual quality writing and the fact that I'm supposed to believe that all of these beautiful hot chicks would get with a bloated James Spader. The only reason I would go back, however, is for Taraji P. Henson's fierce newbie lawyer to the firm who isn't taking shit from anyone- not even Spader's Alan Shore. Jill Clayburgh is basically the emotional center of Dirty Sexy Money and another reason to trumpet her comeback to the big time. Natalie Zea's Karen is a characterization rather than a full-fledged character, but Zea has so much fun with her messy contradictions and unashamed forwardness that she becomes a real person. Lisa Edelstein, like Marcia Cross, is the most underrated actress on her show's cast and I don't understand why the awards groups continuously snub her. She doesn't have much of a life outside of the hospital, but her verbal battles with Hugh Laurie's House are the highlights of the show and it's fun to see how low she'll stoop to get back at him sometimes. Glenn Close may hog all of the attention on Damages, but over in the corner Rose Byrne is doing some great work as well. Byrne could have copped out and basically rode Close's coattails, but, at times, her work is nearly as brilliant as Close's.

Best Supporting Actor (Comedy)
Clark Gregg, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock
Chi McBride, Pushing Daisies
Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock
Michael Urie, Ugly Betty

Okay, I'm getting lazy and everyone knows that Supporting Actor is always the lamest category. Few word summaries for every nominee. Gregg: Strangely charming. McBrayer: Creeper, but funny. McBride: Deadpan hilarity. Morgan: Jenna looks less crazy next to him. Urie: Fabulously bitchy

Best Supporting Actor (Drama)
William Baldwin, Dirty Sexy Money
Ted Danson, Damages
Robert Sean Leonard, House
Donald Sutherland, Dirty Sexy Money
Ed Westwick, Gossip Girl

Baldwin: Makes tranny-loving heartwarming. Danson: Bad or good? Leonard: Right-hand man brilliance. Sutherland: Warden of the Darling insane asylum. Westick: Hated him at first, now unthinkable without him.

Best Reality Show (Competition)
America's Most Smartest Model (VH1)
America's Next Top Model (The CW)
American Idol (Fox)
Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School (VH1)
I Love New York 2 (VH1)

Apparently VH1 is the channel to get the best competition reality shows. America's Most Smartest Model really should have been retarded beyond belief, but leave it to VH1 to find the prettiest, craziest dumb people ever and put them in a house together. Andre the Soviet actually had me cheering for Communism. Tiffany Pollard and Michelle Patterson were back with another absolutely insane season of I Love New York. From Sister Patterson's freakout when meeting Midget Mac to the fight between Sister Patterson and The Entertainer's mother and New York's 2 minute emotional rollercoaster ride with Buddha in her hotel room, the whole season was brilliantly trashy. Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School was just another excuse to bring the fabulously trashy women of the first two seasons back together again. Unexpectedly, however, the show was really uplifting in the strangest ways and I felt better about myself after the season was over. Who knows if the changes stuck, but I was convinced at the finale. You all know I'm obsessed with American Idol so it's inclusion should come as no surprise. America's Next Top Model's two season were as fun and addictive as usual. The challenges were great, the women were refreshing and the judges were as hilarious as ever (Tyra talking about herself all the time and Miss J making fun of Dominique).

Best Reality Show (Non-Competition)
Hey Paula! (Bravo)
Flipping Out (Bravo)
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Bravo)
Kitchen Nightmares (Fox)
Supernanny (ABC)

On the other hand, Bravo must be the channel for non-competition reality shows. I recently watched the entire first season of Flipping Out on a Bravo marathon and I was completely hooked. Where did they find this guy? He's absolutely crazy/hilarious and his assistants are just as fantastic. Hey Paula! was probably an attempt to show the normal side of Paula Abdul, but, in the end, it just proved to everyone how insane she actually is. Some of the stuff she did on that show was so unbelievably nuts I couldn't believe she approved to let it air. My Life on the D-List is always a treat, but Emmy-award winning comedienne Kathy Griffin got more personal than ever on this last season, dealing with her divorce and the death of her father. But it was also funnier than most shows that have aired in the past 5 years. Her best season by far. Kitchen Nightmares is a direct transfer of Gordon Ramsey's British show of the same name, but it's still as fascinating as ever watching him yell at moronic managers and try to turn these dying businesses around. Supernanny, along with Wife Swap, is growing a bit repetitious these days, but during the past few months it's getting a lot of spunk back due to Jo's increased bitchiness. She's not taking any more bullshit from these parents and I love her more for it: You go on and tell it like it is!

Best Guest Star (Actor or Actress)
Will Arnett, 30 Rock
Victoria Beckham, Ugly Betty
Molly Shannon, Pushing Daisies
Britney Spears, How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Elaine Stritch, 30 Rock
Michelle Trachtenberg, Gossip Girl

Who makes fun of Victoria Beckham better than Victoria Beckham? Her inspired cameo on Ugly Betty was one of this season's highlights for me. Michelle Trachtenberg's Georgina was the cherry on top of the amazing first season of Gossip Girl. Her outrageous exploits in the final few episodes had me addicted in a way comparable to how Courtney Love feels about crack. Elaine Stritch returned this season on 30 Rock as Jack's mother and I loved the way she tried to crack the perfect facade of Liz's family. This woman still has it. Will Arnett also reprised an earlier role on 30 Rock and he matched Alec Baldwin raspy, businessman voice for raspy, businessman voice. Molly Shannon is an underrated comic genius and her murderous candymaker was another reason to love her. Most people will say that she doesn't belong within 50 miles of an Emmy ballot, but no cameo had America talking more than Britney Spears' comeback work on How I Met Your Mother. It may not be Method acting by any means, but who can deny her inspired comic timing.

If I Were Colombo, I'd Peter Falk Her

American Idol has gotten off to a strong start. I have not been able to get this stupid song out of my head ever since last night. It's surprisingly well written, creative and really fucking funny...but also really creepy. It's so creepy it makes "Every Breath You Take" look like a wedding song.

Shows I'm Looking Forward to This Summer

With all of my shows wrapping up (Desperate Housewives, American Idol, House), I now get to look forward to some new shows and returning favorites this summer. Here's a rundown on the stuff I will be watching this summer:

House of Payne (TBS): I know a lot of people hate Tyler Perry and Madea, but I think that Perry writes really good escapist, silly comedy (his melodrama could stand a lot of improvement) and that Madea is one hilarious woman (that chainsaw scene in Diary of a Mad Black Woman is brilliant and "You gonna call the po-po, ho?" makes me laugh everytime). I saw the commercial for this new show while I was watching the end of Erin Brockovich on TBS and I got really excited because House of Payne is a sitcom made by Tyler Perry and it looks like Madea makes an appearance on there. I'm in.

Hey Paula! (Bravo): Paula Abdul was the first singer I ever fell in love with back in the day and I've held a special place in my heart for her ever since. Imagine my happiness when she came back as a judge on American Idol and was in the spotlight back again. And now she has her own Bravo reality show which should make me love her even more (it worked for Kathy Griffin).

Hell's Kitchen (Fox) and Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (BBC America): Fuck Rachael Ray, Gordon Ramsay is my favorite celebrity chef. Between these two shows, we see two different sides to his personality. On Hell's Kitchen, he is an angry maniac prick who is ultimately likeable. On Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, he helps people transform failing restaurants into big booming businesses and is nowhere near as angry as he is on his American show.

Footballers Wives (BBC America): So the American version won't be on this season, but at least we'll get the next season of this addictive British soap opera. And that means more of my favorite bad girl Tanya Turner-Lazlo (aka "The Merry Widow"). Yes, please.

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Bravo): The show I wait for every summer is back for its third season. Even if it's missing some major characters (her thief ex-husband and her father who recently passed away) this season still looks rather promising. Jill and I will definitely be discussing this show religiously.