30 Day Film Challenge: Day 08

Day 08: The Film You Can Quote Best

Spice World (Bob Spiers, 1997)

I know a lot of gays would pick Mean Girls, and I'm pretty handy with a Mean Girls quote, but there is no question in my mind--or those of the poor souls who have sat through this movie with me--that I can quote massive chunks of Spice World at the drop of the hat. I'm literally speaking along with the Girls, half of the time not even realizing I'm doing it. I'm sure it's pure torture to anyone who has watched it with me, but I can't help these things. I was a gay child and knowing all the words to Spice World comes with the territory.

Because I'm feeling generous today, here's a special bonus clip from the should-have-been Oscar contender Victoria Beckham in this movie:

15 Albums

Over on my Facebook page, I was tagged in a new meme asking for "fifteen albums you've heard that will always stick with you." I completed the challenge on Facebook, but I thought I should take some time and explain my reasoning behind my choices. These are not necessarily what I believe to be the "best" albums of all time; rather, each of them has some sort of personal significance in my life, whether they remind me of someone or a particular moment in my life or simply have come to define me as a person.

Paula Abdul Forever Your Girl

As I've stated multiple times before, Paula Abdul was the first music artist I ever loved. I remember being in kindergarten, on the way to school and getting excited whenever 'Straight Up' came on the radio. My first exposure to the entire album came from perhaps the strangest of circumstances: my mother's co-worker's daughter had the album on cassette and let us borrow the now five-year-old album so we could copy it onto our own blank cassette. Yes, I was illegally downloading music before illegally downloading music was cool. Since it was the only album I owned for quite a few years, I played the shit out of it whenever I could. To this day, I still get a rush of nostalgia whenever I hear 'Cold Hearted' or 'The Way That You Love Me' on my iTunes. Because of this album, Paula is forever my girl.

Spice Girls Spice

To be honest, I can't exactly remember where or how I first heard about the Spice Girls. At the time, my favorite radio station was my mother's 70's/80's/90's station that wasn't exactly hip when it came to new music. All I know is that when I fell for Emma, Victoria, Geri and the Mels, I fell for them HARD and there was no turning back. Spice was my go-to album for a long, long time and I still stand by it as a legitimate pop classic and not the teeny bopper shit many accuse it of being.

Spice Girls Spice World

Almost as soon as I was addicted to Spice, the Girls' follow up album was released in America. I believe I got it for my birthday a few months after, but I loved it as much, if not more, than Spice. I listened to that album so damn much, particularly 'Stop,' my favorite song they've ever done, it has the distinction of being the first cassette I broke. One day, the tape inside the cassette just went haywire and spooled out. It was a sad day for me (probably not my parents who I'm sure were sick of the damn thing) but at least I had my memories with the album.

Mariah, Gloria, Shania, Aretha & Celine Divas Live '98

Along with NSYNC's debut album, this was the first album I ever got on CD. I can't remember if I watched the live special when it aired, but I'm guessing my parents bought it for me because I was fucking obsessed with Mariah and both Celine and Gloria were two of my favorite singers at the time. Good instincts on their part as I simply couldn't get enough of this album. Not only was it packed full of amazing divas, foreshadowing both my homosexuality and my immense love of over-the-top personalities, but I also loved the banter and spoken intros between each of the songs. I'm sure if I listened to the album right now I could mime accurately to about 80% of it.

Britney Spears ...Baby One More Time

Back when Brit actually attempted to sing, I thought she had one of the best voices I had ever heard. I had a lot to learn about music, apparently, but it's easy to see why this woman and this album meant so much to me during a time when my one true love, the Spice Girls, were splitting up. Her carefree dance-pop was just what this 11 year-old needed to get pumped for another grueling day of elementary school. Trust me, I have a handful of dance routines I choreographed in my free time before I had to catch the bus. My father must be proud.

Madonna The Immaculate Collection

I knew and liked Madonna through songs like 'Holiday' and 'Into the Groove,' but it wasn't until I checked out this album from my library that I became a superfan. This album has become so ingrained in me, I find it hard to dig into the rest of her discography; everytime I try one of her old albums, I instantly grow restless and want to listen to these wonderful singles all over again.

Janet Jackson Control

I think Janet Jackson obsession started with Design of a Decade, but Control will always be the album I'll think of when I think of her.

Various Artists Music from the Motion Picture "Chicago"

When I saw Chicago on DVD, I liked the movie but I wasn't as crazy about it as I am. It wasn't until the school play my sophomore year of high school when my castmates would sing the songs from this soundtrack over and over again when I became obsessed with it. I actually owned the soundtrack before I ever bought the film, so by the time I saw the movie again, I knew every damn word of the soundtrack.

Kelly Clarkson Breakaway

My God, I don't know if kids these days understand just how huge this album was back in the day. You couldn't spend an hour listening to the radio without either 'Since U Been Gone,' 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' or 'Because of You' coming on. People I knew who weren't fans of pop music were obsessed with Kelly and this album. And, most of all, I just love Kelly. She's the reason my obsession with American Idol lasted for as long as it did.

Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols

I'm not exactly sure what exactly I watched or read that convinced me that I needed to give Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols a listen, but I'm eternally grateful for inspiring something in me to take a chance on something way out of my music comfort zone. The first few times I listened to the album, I was unimpressed and quietly ignored it for awhile. Then, something happened and I decided to give it another listen. It was like I was listening to a brand new album. The Sex Pistols are one of the few punk bands I've encountered (in my very, very limited experience) who didn't sacrifice melody for hardness, vocal quality for loudness. This is quite literally the one anomaly in my iTunes, as evidenced by the fact that they are wedged between Selena Gomez & the Scene and Shakira.

Various Artists Music from the Motion Picture "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut"

I was a late bloomer to discovering the genius of South Park. Up until my junior year of high school, I thought it was nothing but television made for immature people who loved endless fart and shit jokes. But then my friend lent me South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut and I immediately changed my tune. This was some smart shit made by people who knew what the fuck they were talking about. And the smartest thing about the movie has to be the soundtrack, which manages to be both a parody of the typical movie musical and insightful social commentary. Plus, any soundtrack that has a song with a lyric that goes, "Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka!" can't be all bad, can it?

ABBA Gold

I have always known about ABBA and even knew a handful of their songs courtesy of The A*Teens, but it wasn't until my last couple years of high school when I actually realized just how kickass they were. It all started with an innocent car trip with my friend and her grandparents. Her grandmother is a huge ABBA fan and had Gold playing the CD player. My friend and I were bored so we started making dumb choreography to the songs. This continued through many songs until her grandmother, never one to not let her annoyance and opinion be heard, yelled at us, "Shut. Up. Back. There." I had so much jammin' to the songs that I asked my friend to burn me a copy and the rest, as they say, is history.

Justin Timberlake FutureSex/LoveSounds

JT's FutureSex/LoveSounds had the fortunate distinction of coming out right as I was settling into my freshman year of college. The album really has nothing to do with all the changes I was going through at the time, but it's the one that's most deeply associated with that period of my life.

Britney Spears Blackout

I was pumped for the Britney comeback ever since she divorced Kevin Federline in 2006. When the album finally came around in late 2007, I was ridiculously excited for what was being called Britney's best album yet. On the day of its release, I was like a meth addict waiting impatiently for my next hit. I didn't have a car at that point so I asked my friend who lived down the hall if she would take me to buy it. She agreed and by the time we left, another younger girl I only slightly knew had joined us. We went to the first store and I ran like a madman to the music section only to discover that it was sold out. I was upset, but my friend who drove started yelling at the guy working in the electronics department like it was his fault. We ended up going to two more stores, coming out both times empty-handed, and I was more crazed with each rejection. I looked like a madman in front of the new girl, but I didn't care; I wanted Britney, damnit (in case you're wondering, the girl who accompanied us became a very good friend whom I lived with until a couple weeks ago).

Girls Aloud Out of Control

By the time the release date for Girls Aloud's Out of Control rolled by, I was already a devotee of the Way of the Aloud. I started after the release of Tangled Up and it quickly grew over the following months. Out of Control was the first Girls Aloud album where I could join in on the pre-release ritual for any of my favorite acts. When 'The Promise' came out, I listened to that song at least 30 times the day I first got it. There was no turning back after that. I should also let the record show that Out of Control is still my favorite Girls Aloud album ever.

Happy Mother's Day From the Spice Girls

My Senior Thesis: Spice World

My collection of senior thesis writings continue today with Spice World. After rediscovering this film in high school (I had seen it millions of times as a kiddie), I have always wanted to defend it. Yes, Spice World is hardly a "great" movie, but there are some smart things going on. This is by far the silliest essay of the bunch, however this needed to be said.

Name this movie: a British musical group, playing themselves soon after achieving quick, meteoric success in the UK and US, is documented right before a very important live performance. While traveling in and around London, the group has to deal with inane members of the press, crazed fans, strict managers and wacky, drawn-out comedic situations to highlight each group member’s personality and sense of humor. There is a crisis of faith and a moment when it looks like they will not make it to their live performance. However, they pull it together at the last minute and make it to the show, precisely showing us in their performance what made everyone fall in love with them in the first place.

If you guessed Richard Lester’s A Hard Day’s Night, then, obviously, you would be right. But if you guessed Spice World, the oft-reviled film starring late 90’s pop phenomenon the Spice Girls, you would also be correct. Fascinating, isn’t it? I find it interesting that these films are so similar, yet A Hard Day’s Night is often touted as one of the greatest rock ‘n roll films ever made while Spice World has become something of a pop culture joke after the critical bashing it took when it was released in late 1997/early 1998. So why exactly is Spice World one of the most hated films ever made while A Hard Day’s Night continues to enjoy popularity 45 years later? I have a couple of theories: One, the film’s study of 90’s British girl group pop music is much narrower than Night’s 60’s British rock and, consequently, less approachable to viewers who do not like that type of music. Two, the predominantly middle-aged white male film critic was never going to appreciate a film that caters principally to both 10-year-olds and gay men with its camp aesthetics and (however misguided they may be) ideas about “Girl Power.” Three, audiences increasingly raised on and in love with meat-headed action blockbusters that treat silly plots and wayward dramatics like they were depicting the Holocaust have no idea how to react to a film like Spice World, which continuously pokes fun at itself and its own ridiculousness without thinking twice about it. I am not here to argue that Spice World is some sort of lost masterpiece worthy of study in film schools around the country; rather, the film deserves a reappraisal now that 10-plus years has passed since its release.


One of the biggest complaints about the film is the criticism that the Girls are terrible actresses and do not give good performances in the film. I will admit that the Girls are not actresses in the traditional sense and certainly do not approach the film in the manner Meryl Streep or Philip Seymour Hoffman would, but to simply dismiss them is too easy. Outside of the film, the Girls were giving performances every single time they had to step in front of the camera, every time they had to give an interview, every time they met an adoring fan. Their “Spice” identity certainly stemmed from their own personalities, but they had to embellish it for the public to the brink of insanity. This 24-hour commitment to character, simply transferred on-screen for Spice World, may not be “acting,” but it becomes almost a tribute to “star persona” performances from the Studio Era . In the film, the Girls completely own this style of “acting” and repeatedly bring it to our attention, whether to enhance or poke fun at their identities. The Spice Bus, their main mode of transportation, is split up into five sections, each styled to reflect the Girls’ identity (for example, Posh has a lighted runway while Sporty has an exercycle). They often retreat within these identities without even thinking about it, like it has been so ingrained in their heads it just comes naturally now. After hearing a snippet of a radio interview that tries to understand the “real” them, the Girls have a conversation about their identities, which prompts Sporty to ask rhetorically, “Why do we feel we have to play into stereotypes…all the time?” The moment becomes almost revelatory for them, as they are forced to consider just how much of their “Spice” identity has become blurred with their true self. A photoshoot follows, which grants them the perfect opportunity to, borrowing a phrase from Jean-Luc Godard, “return to zero” and try to find themselves again. A montage follows where the Girls dress up as each other and parody their defining characteristics (for example, Ginger, portraying Sporty, punches the air shouting, “Ha! I’m so Sporty!”). While all in good fun, this moment highlights two important ideas about the role of identity in the film. First of all, these roles are just that and not meant to be mistaken for their “true selves.” Secondly, the roles are perfectly cast as is, with these parodies proving that, for instance, Emma does not and will never make a good Scary Spice.

This self-awareness is what truly separates Spice World and A Hard Day’s Night, serving as a reminder of what separates 1960’s pop culture from the late 90’s. When The Beatles became the largest band in the world, pop culture as we know it today was just beginning to emerge. It would have been impossible for The Beatles to joke about pop personas in the same way the Spice Girls do simply because people had not developed these expectations. By the time Spice World had come around, the public had been exposed to pop culture and imitations of A Hard Day’s Night for decades. This allowed Spice World to poke fun at the Girls’ personas without worrying that the audience would not understand. If anything, the boy band craze that followed soon after the Spice Girls proved that pop acts could be further reduced to a mere formula, with singers chosen mostly for how well they fit into a mold (such as the “bad boy”) rather than molding their persona from their own identity as the Spice Girls did.

Spice World, for the most part, is a silly film made for the sole purpose of cashing in on the Spice phenomenon. There are moments, however, when real and interesting issues are brought up and dealt with in the film’s unique, offbeat way. A Hard Day’s Night may have the respect and critical adoration, but Spice World, because of its quirky humor and adoration of nonsense plots and dialogue will forever have a small yet eternally devoted legion of fans ready to defend it to the death. Not bad for one of the worst movies ever made.

This Song Describes My Life Perfectly Right Now

Emma Bunton, you know me so well.

Five Song Friday: The Spice Girls Go Solo

It's simple. Every Friday, I pick five songs that I've been loving for the past week. They don't have to be new songs or even singles from the album...the only requirement is that they're amazing.

1. Melanie C. "I Turn To You"
I feel like I need to be on ecstasy, sucking on a pacifier to get the most out of this video, but it's still a hot song. Further proof that Mel C had the most talent (vocally, anyways) in the group.



2. Melanie B. "Feels So Good"
Her voice is so unique and interesting that I think if she found the right song, she could score a major hit in America. We love unusual (sometimes) and Mel B definitely fits that bill.



3. Victoria Beckham "Let Your Head Go"
I've already pimped out this song once before, but I'm doing everything it takes to get you to recognize the brilliance of the song and the Mommie Dearest-inspired clip.



4. Geri Halliwell "Look at Me"
I remember that when this song came out in 1999, I was so pissed at Geri for breaking up the Spice Girls that I boycotted this song. Listening to it for the first time in 10 years the other day, I couldn't believe how incredible this song is. And the video is pretty ballsy, too (the funeral of Ginger Spice so quickly after the break-up is especially provocative).



5. Emma Bunton "What Took You So Long?"
Unlike most of the other girls, Emma Bunton's first post-Spice Girls song doesn't sound like anything they did before and is so anti-European pop I'm surprised it didn't cross over into America.

Random Top 10: Victoria Beckham Quotes From Spice World

My original intention was to write a post to convince my readers (all 5 of you) of the awesomeness of Victoria Beckham's performance in Spice World and why it is completely underrated. But after watching the film again twice on Friday, I've come to the conclusion that Beckham's performance completely relies on her line readings and impressive comic timing.

But it's not as if she doesn't try to suggest otherwise. As much as the script and director Bob Spiers allow her, Beckham uses body language to portray her "character" in the group, the "posh" one who is above this whole singing thing. Right in the beginning of the film, backstage after performing "Too Much," the girls are chatting away while walking down the hallway. Victoria, on the other hand, struts down the hallway like she's on a catwalk in Milan and doesn't carry on with the idle chat surrounding her.


Another great moment is the one shown above. The girls have taken an impromptu boat trip with some young contest winners and are having a rocking good time singing along to "My Boy Lollipop". Everyone, that is, except Victoria. She is so over being on that boat it's not even funny. And no silly pop song is going to get her up and moving like she's a silly 13 year old girl. She's a lady, Goddamnit.

Apart from these few, fleeting moments, Beckham is spent being one of the girls, who in real life she is so obviously above it's not even funny. Like I said, the real centerpiece of this performance is located in the line readings, so here are the 10 best:

10. "Sunday drivers- it's only Saturday!"
Note to self: Don't go out for a drive when Victoria Beckham is driving a bus and in a major hurry. She's has serious road rage issues.

9. "Gosh you're fat."
Even while talking to aliens from outer space, Victoria maintains a high level of tact.

8. "AND I'M VICTORIA, MALCOLM!"
I don't know about you, but this is how I picture myself talking to someone in a coma: loud, obnoxious and so over the top that they would have to wake up and wonder "Who the hell is that?"

7. "Slap me!"
Except for the part where Geri tells a laboring Nicola to breathe and Victoria starts panting heavily, this is her silliest moment. Just remember, she asked for it!

6. "Could somebody please tell me...just what exactly is the dress code here?"
We're confused too, Victoria. This is the gayest club in movies until the one in Dreamgirls where the Dreams perform their version of "One Night Only."

5. "I can't run in these heels."
No truer words have ever been spoken.

4. "And then there's the little Ginger one, full of useless information...about manta rays!"
With any of the other girls, this line would have been butchered brutally, but with Victoria she enunciates it so well that it works (and sets up a pretty funny punch line later on).

3. "This dress is dry clean only, Melanie!"
She's nearly drowned in the river Thames (which I've heard is pretty disgusting) and all she cares about are her clothes...a-ma-zing!

2. "Hold on to your knickers, girls!"
For some reason or another, I find myself saying this on a regular basis. And the funny thing is, no one seems to catch on where I got it from.

1. "I'm not that desperate, thank you."
The Holy Grail of line readings. When I re-discovered Spice World about 2 years ago, and realized the amazingness of Victoria's performance, it was all because of this line. She may have nearly drowned, ruined a dry clean only dress and emerged from the river soaking wet, but she'll be damned if she's borrowing anything from Mel B.'s collection of leopard print tights.

Do you have any quotes from any of the girls that you just can't live without?

Have I Ever Mentioned....

....how much I love Victoria Beckham? Back when I was a wee lad, Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton was my favorite Spice Girl because she was pretty and the closest to my age (only 12 years older, I believe). But now that I'm older, I think I love Victoria more because of her wit and self-deprecating humor (have you seen that great clip on Larry King where some viewer accuses her of always looking miserable because she never smiles and then she "tries" to smile for the camera...I love it!). Plus, she has that fabulous haircut that I loving refer to as the "Victoria Beckham" that I think only she can pull off.

So why do I mention this? Well, last night I had a really interesting dream involving old Posh Spice herself. I was at a runway show and Victoria was debuting her new line of clothes that she designed herself. The people in the audience were buzzing, but then Victoria herself came down the runway and the whole place went apeshit (I think even the judges from Project Runway were there as well, and they even liked it). She came back later on and the audience was ecstatic yet again. After the show, I was with a couple of friends, one of whom was a paparazzi, and we went all around town trying to get shots of Victoria after her hugely successful debut.

I apologize for the randomness of this post, but I just had to share it because...well, it's Victoria Beckham. Enough said.

Posh the Actress! Plus, Updates on the Spice Girls Reunion

Last night, Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham made an appearance on Ugly Betty. I didn't catch it because I'm too far behind on the show, but I'm super excited about catching it later on. Why? Well, I'm one of the five people on the planet who loves Spice World (I know it's technically a horrible movie, but it's a ton of fun) and I think Posh gives the best performance in it. Don't get me wrong, she's no Meryl Streep or anything (hell, she's hardly Jessica Alba), but she had great comedic timing in that film. With such a banal script, it takes someone with a bit of talent to deliver lines like "Hold on to your knickers, girls!", "This dress is dry clean only, Melanie!", "I'm not that desperate, thank you" and "What do you think about manta rays?" Going by this, and the fact that she's such a publicity whore (but an interesting one, unlike Paris Hilton), her cameo should be an interesting one. If anyone did watch last night, let me know what you thought.

Speaking of Spice World, apparently a 10th Anniversary Edition is being released at the end of this month. It seems a bit strange to re-release a film that no one particularly cares for, but I'm guessing they're doing it to coincide with the impending Spice Girls reunion tour. If the DVD comes with a couple of really great extras, I will definitely be picking up a copy.

As for the Spice Girls reunion, here's the brand new single that premiered last week. The song is called "Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)" and is actually pretty good. I don't love it yet, but it's bound to grow on me as I listen to it more and more.



As an added bonus, here's the video for Victoria Beckham's "Let Your Head Go" from a few years back. I was in a Mommie Dearest mood yesterday and while looking on its Wikipedia page, I ran across this link under the Pop Culture References section. The video is amazing and another example of how funny Posh can be.

Spice Girls Reunion Becomes Reality!

I already wrote about this when it was just a rumor, but let me say it now that it is true: I am super excited for the upcoming Spice Girls reunion tour. It’s only going to be an 11 city tour and it isn’t coming anywhere near Michigan (I think New York is the closest stop, but don’t quote me), but it’s one step closer to the reemergence of, in my opinion, the greatest female pop group of the past 20 years (they were certainly the most successful). Ten years later, their music still makes me want to just get up and sing and dance like a retarded person on crack. Maybe, if we pray hard enough, the Gods will pull through and we’ll get new ass-kicking music full of Girl Power and a sequel to the best so-bad-it-is-good movie that anyone will ever witness.

Spice Girls Reunion

Okay, so according to this article (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/music/article-23385824-details/Spice+Girls+to+reunite/article.do) the biggest group of the 90's are planning a reunion show for charity sometime in the near future and then tour all over the United Kingdom! I know they don't plan on coming here, but this is still exciting. The Spice Girls were the first group I ever fanatically loved and I still care about them deeply. I even just recently got a copy of Spice World (which is a classic of the school of so-bad-it's-amazing filmmaking) on DVD. Everything about their bombastic pop sound and eccentric taste in fashion (just look at that picture above) is sorely missing from today's pop music scene and would be welcome back at any time. Please make another album, girls. America needs you!