My Blog is Ready to Start Kindergarten, or: Rants of a Diva Turns Five Years Old

On this very day in 2007, I was sitting in my dorm room, indulging in my latest obsession: reading film blogs. As a freshman in college, I had quickly learned how to be as unproductive as possible, and keeping up with these blogs was the perfect way to kill time when I should have been writing a paper. On this fateful night, however, a thought suddenly occurred to me: "Hey, I can write just as well as these people. And I have a ton of ideas. Why don't I start a blog of my own?" It was then that Rants of a Diva was born.

And now it's five years later. Wow, where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday I was defending Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls. So, to celebrate this momentous occasion, I have decided to do something a little different. I listed my five favorite things in a host of different, entirely random categories. It's a bit silly, sure, but what do you expect from this oddball section of the interweb? 

EDIT: So it turns out I'm a complete retard and my blogiversary was on the 29th of January. Let's just pretend it's today, okay?

Five Actresses I Can Watch in Anything

01. Bette Davis

02. Anne Hathaway

03. Marilyn Monroe

04. Norma Shearer

05. Judy Garland

Five Favorite Working Directors

01. Arnaud Desplechin

02. Spike Lee

03. Andrea Arnold

04. Judd Apatow

05. Michael Moore

One Direction Members, From Fave to Least Fave

01. Zayn

02. Liam

03. Harry

04. Niall

05. Louis

Five Favorite Classic Boyband Songs

01. O-Town "All or Nothing"

02. *NSYNC "Tearin' Up My Heart"

03. Backstreet Boys "As Long As You Love Me"

04. Take That "Back For Good"

05. 98 Degrees "The Hardest Thing"

Five Favorite ABBA Album Tracks

01. "Disillusion"

02. "As Good As New"

03. "Tiger"

04. "Bang-A-Boomerang"

05. "Me and I"

Five Favorite Moments in Spice World

01. "This dress is dry clean only, Melanie!"

02. The Alien Encounter

03. "AND I'M VICTORIA, MALCOLM!"

04. Mel C. rolling her eyes every time Geri shares some useless knowledge with the group

05. The Bomb on the Bus

Five Favorite Best Supporting Actor Nominees (Non-Winners)

01. Claude Rains, Casablanca

02. Richard Widmark, Kiss of Death

03. Sal Mineo, Rebel Without a Cause

04. Al Pacino, The Godfather

05. Casey Affleck, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Five Things I Admire About Lady Gaga

01. The way she makes every music video an Event.

02. How quickly she has matured her sound (even if I don't necessarily like where it has gone).

03. The way she has made the label "pop artist" a compliment rather than a criticism.

04. Her work ethic. Girlfriend never stops doing it all.

05. Her ability to manipulate convince her fans that she has invented many of the elements of her persona that she has borrowed from/expanded upon other pop icons.

Five Reality Shows That Have Had a Profound Impact on My Life

01. Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica

02. Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

03. American Idol

04. Hey Paula!

05. Jersey Shore

Five Favorite Lesbians

01. Ellen DeGeneres

02. Wanda Sykes

03. Tabatha Coffey

04. Jane Lynch

05. Suze Orman

Five Things I Want to Accomplish in 2012

01. Find a job that doesn't make me want to stab people

02. Finish my screenplay (The Single One, coming soon to a theatre near you)

03. Try yoga

04. Interview a celebrity

05. Meet One Direction

15 Albums

Over on my Facebook page, I was tagged in a new meme asking for "fifteen albums you've heard that will always stick with you." I completed the challenge on Facebook, but I thought I should take some time and explain my reasoning behind my choices. These are not necessarily what I believe to be the "best" albums of all time; rather, each of them has some sort of personal significance in my life, whether they remind me of someone or a particular moment in my life or simply have come to define me as a person.

Paula Abdul Forever Your Girl

As I've stated multiple times before, Paula Abdul was the first music artist I ever loved. I remember being in kindergarten, on the way to school and getting excited whenever 'Straight Up' came on the radio. My first exposure to the entire album came from perhaps the strangest of circumstances: my mother's co-worker's daughter had the album on cassette and let us borrow the now five-year-old album so we could copy it onto our own blank cassette. Yes, I was illegally downloading music before illegally downloading music was cool. Since it was the only album I owned for quite a few years, I played the shit out of it whenever I could. To this day, I still get a rush of nostalgia whenever I hear 'Cold Hearted' or 'The Way That You Love Me' on my iTunes. Because of this album, Paula is forever my girl.

Spice Girls Spice

To be honest, I can't exactly remember where or how I first heard about the Spice Girls. At the time, my favorite radio station was my mother's 70's/80's/90's station that wasn't exactly hip when it came to new music. All I know is that when I fell for Emma, Victoria, Geri and the Mels, I fell for them HARD and there was no turning back. Spice was my go-to album for a long, long time and I still stand by it as a legitimate pop classic and not the teeny bopper shit many accuse it of being.

Spice Girls Spice World

Almost as soon as I was addicted to Spice, the Girls' follow up album was released in America. I believe I got it for my birthday a few months after, but I loved it as much, if not more, than Spice. I listened to that album so damn much, particularly 'Stop,' my favorite song they've ever done, it has the distinction of being the first cassette I broke. One day, the tape inside the cassette just went haywire and spooled out. It was a sad day for me (probably not my parents who I'm sure were sick of the damn thing) but at least I had my memories with the album.

Mariah, Gloria, Shania, Aretha & Celine Divas Live '98

Along with NSYNC's debut album, this was the first album I ever got on CD. I can't remember if I watched the live special when it aired, but I'm guessing my parents bought it for me because I was fucking obsessed with Mariah and both Celine and Gloria were two of my favorite singers at the time. Good instincts on their part as I simply couldn't get enough of this album. Not only was it packed full of amazing divas, foreshadowing both my homosexuality and my immense love of over-the-top personalities, but I also loved the banter and spoken intros between each of the songs. I'm sure if I listened to the album right now I could mime accurately to about 80% of it.

Britney Spears ...Baby One More Time

Back when Brit actually attempted to sing, I thought she had one of the best voices I had ever heard. I had a lot to learn about music, apparently, but it's easy to see why this woman and this album meant so much to me during a time when my one true love, the Spice Girls, were splitting up. Her carefree dance-pop was just what this 11 year-old needed to get pumped for another grueling day of elementary school. Trust me, I have a handful of dance routines I choreographed in my free time before I had to catch the bus. My father must be proud.

Madonna The Immaculate Collection

I knew and liked Madonna through songs like 'Holiday' and 'Into the Groove,' but it wasn't until I checked out this album from my library that I became a superfan. This album has become so ingrained in me, I find it hard to dig into the rest of her discography; everytime I try one of her old albums, I instantly grow restless and want to listen to these wonderful singles all over again.

Janet Jackson Control

I think Janet Jackson obsession started with Design of a Decade, but Control will always be the album I'll think of when I think of her.

Various Artists Music from the Motion Picture "Chicago"

When I saw Chicago on DVD, I liked the movie but I wasn't as crazy about it as I am. It wasn't until the school play my sophomore year of high school when my castmates would sing the songs from this soundtrack over and over again when I became obsessed with it. I actually owned the soundtrack before I ever bought the film, so by the time I saw the movie again, I knew every damn word of the soundtrack.

Kelly Clarkson Breakaway

My God, I don't know if kids these days understand just how huge this album was back in the day. You couldn't spend an hour listening to the radio without either 'Since U Been Gone,' 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' or 'Because of You' coming on. People I knew who weren't fans of pop music were obsessed with Kelly and this album. And, most of all, I just love Kelly. She's the reason my obsession with American Idol lasted for as long as it did.

Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols

I'm not exactly sure what exactly I watched or read that convinced me that I needed to give Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols a listen, but I'm eternally grateful for inspiring something in me to take a chance on something way out of my music comfort zone. The first few times I listened to the album, I was unimpressed and quietly ignored it for awhile. Then, something happened and I decided to give it another listen. It was like I was listening to a brand new album. The Sex Pistols are one of the few punk bands I've encountered (in my very, very limited experience) who didn't sacrifice melody for hardness, vocal quality for loudness. This is quite literally the one anomaly in my iTunes, as evidenced by the fact that they are wedged between Selena Gomez & the Scene and Shakira.

Various Artists Music from the Motion Picture "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut"

I was a late bloomer to discovering the genius of South Park. Up until my junior year of high school, I thought it was nothing but television made for immature people who loved endless fart and shit jokes. But then my friend lent me South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut and I immediately changed my tune. This was some smart shit made by people who knew what the fuck they were talking about. And the smartest thing about the movie has to be the soundtrack, which manages to be both a parody of the typical movie musical and insightful social commentary. Plus, any soundtrack that has a song with a lyric that goes, "Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka!" can't be all bad, can it?

ABBA Gold

I have always known about ABBA and even knew a handful of their songs courtesy of The A*Teens, but it wasn't until my last couple years of high school when I actually realized just how kickass they were. It all started with an innocent car trip with my friend and her grandparents. Her grandmother is a huge ABBA fan and had Gold playing the CD player. My friend and I were bored so we started making dumb choreography to the songs. This continued through many songs until her grandmother, never one to not let her annoyance and opinion be heard, yelled at us, "Shut. Up. Back. There." I had so much jammin' to the songs that I asked my friend to burn me a copy and the rest, as they say, is history.

Justin Timberlake FutureSex/LoveSounds

JT's FutureSex/LoveSounds had the fortunate distinction of coming out right as I was settling into my freshman year of college. The album really has nothing to do with all the changes I was going through at the time, but it's the one that's most deeply associated with that period of my life.

Britney Spears Blackout

I was pumped for the Britney comeback ever since she divorced Kevin Federline in 2006. When the album finally came around in late 2007, I was ridiculously excited for what was being called Britney's best album yet. On the day of its release, I was like a meth addict waiting impatiently for my next hit. I didn't have a car at that point so I asked my friend who lived down the hall if she would take me to buy it. She agreed and by the time we left, another younger girl I only slightly knew had joined us. We went to the first store and I ran like a madman to the music section only to discover that it was sold out. I was upset, but my friend who drove started yelling at the guy working in the electronics department like it was his fault. We ended up going to two more stores, coming out both times empty-handed, and I was more crazed with each rejection. I looked like a madman in front of the new girl, but I didn't care; I wanted Britney, damnit (in case you're wondering, the girl who accompanied us became a very good friend whom I lived with until a couple weeks ago).

Girls Aloud Out of Control

By the time the release date for Girls Aloud's Out of Control rolled by, I was already a devotee of the Way of the Aloud. I started after the release of Tangled Up and it quickly grew over the following months. Out of Control was the first Girls Aloud album where I could join in on the pre-release ritual for any of my favorite acts. When 'The Promise' came out, I listened to that song at least 30 times the day I first got it. There was no turning back after that. I should also let the record show that Out of Control is still my favorite Girls Aloud album ever.

Random Top 10: "The Beatles," Golden Girls Memories & Gay Born Again Christians (aka Life in a Small Town)

Last Friday, I decided to go home for the weekend to see my parents. One of the things they wanted to do was see a Beatles tribute band that was playing in a local small town's annual outdoor concert series.

(Being the Golden Girls obsessive that I am, my mind immediately jumped to the episode where Dorothy gives up her date to Blanche to see a Beatles tribute band and ends up sleeping with "Paul." Ridiculous, I know, but that's how my mind works. And how can you go wrong with a line like "What do you say about a set that started with 'I've Just Gotta Be Me' and ended with 'Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting'?" Genius.)

But I digress. I'm not the biggest Beatles fan and don't exactly believe that they are the greatest thing to ever happen to music like so many others. Don't get me wrong, they have some fan-fucking-tastic songs but I find it idiotic that so many people believe that every song they ever recorded is the BEST SONG EVER. I remember during Beatles Week #2 on Season 7 of Idol Simon Cowell commented that even the Beatles had bad songs in their catalog, some diehard fan responded on a blog (or maybe Entertainment Weekly, I'm not sure) that the Beatles didn't have bad songs, just bad Idol singers butchering them. That is just ridiculous. Of course they have some stinkers; what musician doesn't? Even ABBA, my favorite band ever and one of the most critically ignored artists in music history because they made "silly" pop music, has some songs I usually skip whenever they come on my iTunes. I simply find it annoying when someone tries to claim that the Beatles are the exception.

Anyways, I decided to go since I had nothing else better to do and, like I said, I do enjoy a few of their songs. The main thing that I took away from the night, however, had nothing to do with the music, oddly. During intermission, there was this young guy who was sort of emceeing and working the crowd before the 50/50 raffle. He seemed like a generally jovial guy, but I found it odd that out of nowhere he decided to announce that he was still excited about getting engaged to his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago. My first reaction was, "Well, I hope you're still excited about getting married a couple weeks later." My second reaction was, "Wait, that 'mo?" I thought that this shock was all he had in store for us, but, oh no, he had to go and do it again. He then proceeded to give a shoutout to his church, the Born Again Christians, who promptly responded with a cheer that was possibly louder than the band had been at any point. I, of course, rolled my eyes and muttered "Jesus Christ" under my breath. Only in a small town could you possibly get away with doing that and get an enormous response like that. Egad.

But I digress yet again. Let's get back to the music. Overall, I found the band to be enjoyable and they did sound eerily similar to the original band, but I was annoyed that they didn't play more of my favorites. I know, I'm that vain that I think that the whole concert should have revolved around my tastes and preferences, but I can't exactly help that? I'm sure everyone would have reacted that way. So, since they didn't play many of the Beatles songs I like, I thought I'd list my top 10 for you all. Generous, I know.

10. Yesterday A touch overrated, but you have to admire the fact that they squeeze so much out of a song that's barely two minutes long.
9. Revolution A protest song from the Vietnam Era that still packs a wallop.
8. Something That guitar bit is still magnificent.
7. Strawberry Fields Forever One of the only LSD-inspired songs I like and you have to give it props for inspiring the only sequence in Across the Universe that wasn't a complete disaster.
6. Eleanor Rigby The imagery in this song sounds like something straight out of a Bergman film and, yet, it's still one of their most beloved pop songs. Genius.
5. Can't Buy Me Love My favorite song from the movie A Hard Day's Night. So fun and carefree although I don't care for the message (someone can definitely buy my love)
4. Penny Lane Completely adorable. I'm still miffed that Davie Archuleta didn't choose it during either Beatles Week (I know I should let that go, but I just can't).
3. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da Their overrated early stuff like 'She Loves You' and 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' are beloved for their simplicity, but I find them too simple (as Sophia quips in the episode of the Golden Girls I mentioned earlier, "'Yeah, yeah, yeah'? You call that music?"). There's no denying that 'Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da' is a simple song with it's "La la la la la life goes on" chorus, but I think the simplicity makes it that much better.
2. Let It Be A social message song about peace, love and understanding that doesn't feel preachy or obnoxious.
1. Hey Jude The intro is beautifully done and the breakdown half way through, leading to the the infamous "Na na na na na na na" chant, is freaking epic.

And, as a bonus, here are some of my favorite Beatles covers that are at least as good as the originals, if not better.

The Carpenters 'Ticket to Ride'
By slowing down the tempo of the original, we get to focus on every single crystal-clear note emerging from Karen Carpenter's mouth. I call that a win, don't you?


Bette Midler 'In My Life'
For the Boys may be a complete mess, but the moment when The Divine Miss M starts singing, immediately after telling the soldiers to "shut the fuck up" in a way that only Bette could get away with, is beautiful in it's own subdued way (not exactly a word one associates with the loud and brassy Ms. Midler, hm?)

Jude Law 'Hey Jude'
I can't find a clip of this version with Jude Law from Saturday Night Live in 2004 (you know, the infamous episode where Ashlee Simpson got caught lip-syncing and performed a hoe-down instead) but, trust me, it's a goodie. Jude Law maniacally ripping into "Ju-ju-ju-ju-Judy!" and Tina Fey, Amy Poehler & Maya Rudolph doing the "Na na na" chant in a big circle around him.




Carly Smithson or Kris Allen 'Come Together'
They are both amazing covers but for completely different reasons.


David Cook 'Eleanor Rigby'
His version is the one that made me realize the brilliance of the original. Bravo.


Fiona Apple 'Across the Universe'
I could listen to this over and over again for hours. It's completely soothing and indescribably absorbing.

Rants on Mamma Mia!

When I saw the stage version of Mamma Mia! a few months ago, I completely hated it. The show was the epitome of the cheesy, cornball, lets-stop-everything-and-sing type of thing I hate. The only semi-redeeming factor was the ABBA music, but, let's face it, wouldn't it have been more productive if you saved your money and listened to ABBA Gold a few more times at home? When I came home after the show and thought about it, I figured that the upcoming film version of Mamma Mia! could improve on the show--and even if it didn't, Meryl Streep was in the cast. There's no way she's ever done anything not worthwhile, right? Unfortunately for Mamma Mia! (Phyllida Lloyd, 2008), instead of a film-appropriate script, confident direction and actors who understand the material well enough to make us forget the implausibility of people breaking out into song dance, all we get is Pierce Brosnan shouting through "S.O.S."

The script is a little more polished from the lackluster stage version, but the integration of the songs into the plot is middling, at best. As a way to sneak in at least two more ABBA songs, they have Streep, Christine Baranski and Julie Walters perform as Donna and the Dynamos, a girl group the trio had in the 70's which has no bearing on the story whatsoever. Not that there's much story to speak of. Mamma Mia! is basically composed of ABBA musical videos strung together by the vaguest of plots that the writers ignore three-quarters of the time. How is it logical that in one scene Dominic Cooper's character isn't sure he wants to marry Amanda Seyfried anymore when she admits she's trying to find her father and the next time we see him, it's the wedding and all is apparently forgiven without a scene explaining his change of heart?

One of the most frustrating things about Mamma Mia! is the choreography (or lack thereof). I think I understand what Lloyd was trying to accomplish in making the dancing look as realistic and non-flashy as possible, but it's completely inappropriate for the film and downright laughable at certain times. When I saw the credits, I couldn't believe someone actually wanted credit for the embarrassing mess that was occurring up on the big screen. It's pretty sad when your big showstopper, dancing wise, is the "Dancing Queen" number which consists of Meryl Streep and a chorus of 50+ women doing dance moves that would be considered second-rate in a high school production. The majority of the choreography consists of the actors strutting, jumping and doing something as obvious as holding up a finger while singing "feeling like a number one" during "Super Trouper." Fucking brilliant. Want to know when I came up with that dance move? When I was 11 and dancing to "...Baby One More Time" by myself in my room.

Meryl Streep, whom I rightly consider the greatest actress of our time, gives the worst performance I've ever seen from her. I never knew she could sink this low into the realm of the shitty. In The Devil Wears Prada, Streep took a cartoonish character and made her human-- she was a major bitch, but still seemed like a boss from hell we've all had. Here, she overacts in nearly every scene and, especially during the scene on the dock when she greets Baranski and Walters, I wanted to shout out in the middle of the theater, "Reel it in, Meryl!" The people who think Streep should be nominated for a Golden Globe (and even win in some cases!) for this travesty-- for showing her "light" and "fun" side-- make me question that we were watching the same film. Giving her a nomination for this film would be the equivalent of giving one to Joan Crawford for one of her low budget freak show movies she made towards the end of her career like Beserk! or Trog.

The rest of the cast, barring the lovely Amanda Seyfried who somehow remains unscathed, isn't much better than Streep. Pierce Brosnan, especially, takes a massive beating. At least Meryl can sing and does wonders with "Mamma Mia" and parts of "The Winner Takes it All"; Brosnan shouts through "S.O.S." and warbles through "When All Is Said and Done" in the same two-note (if he's lucky) range. Stellan Skarsgard just looks uncomfortable and out of place. Walters cackles like the Wicked Witch of the West throughout most of the film. Britney Spears' infamous pink wig looked more natural than the atrocious brown pile of fur on Baranski's head (hairpiece aside, Baranski is probably the most fun of the adults and her savage take on "Does Your Mother Know" is one of the best parts of the film). I like Colin Firth as much as the next guy, but seeing him have his clothes torn off by horny 20 year old girls during "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight" and then watching him proclaim his love for one of the 20 year old Greek bachelors as subtly as Jack McFarland is a tad off-putting. Dominic Cooper, I must admit, is easy on the eyes, but everything about the role (from the amount of time he spends shirtless to his gooey dialogue) reeks of the shameless.

Phyllida Lloyd's direction lacks any imagination whatsoever. Most of the stagings are straight from the play and the few that do differ aren't anything groundbreaking. It probably would have been slightly more interesting to shoot everything in a long shot (like we're watching a stage show) than Lloyd's slavishly dull combination of long shot/close up/slight pan repeated over and over again. I was afraid this was going to happen after the Susan Stroman debacle with The Producers and, unfortunately, I was proven wrong. Lloyd assumes that, like the stage show did, the music of ABBA will make you forget the mess that's going on around those wonderful tunes. And, for most, they did. To me, however, there's no way that even music as great as ABBA's will make up for something as lazy and trashy as this film. D

Reason #4036 Why I Love Diablo Cody

Diablo Cody started occasionally writing a column for Entertainment Weekly right after the success of Juno and since I love her writing style and sense of humor so much, I look forward to every one of her columns. A couple of weeks ago, she wrote one about the Rolling Stones and the Scorsese documentary Shine a Light. What really grabbed my attention, however, is her own experiences with "hipster rock":

"Yeah, I do have a few au courant records on my iPod- tracks by the Babyshambles and the Raconteurs and other talented anemia patients- but the play count is typically stalled around four. (Meanwhile, "Chiquitita" by ABBA is nearing triple digits.)...The soundtrack to my life is pure fondue: cheesy, gooey, prone to accidental seepage."

Not only does Diablo love "Chiquitita" (which I consider ABBA's second greatest song) but I'm intrigued that someone else has the same internal conflict I have when listening to music. I try to listen to hip, interesting music like Lily Allen or Santogold, but instead I find myself listening to "Gimme More" or "The Way I Are" over and over again. I wish I could be cool and discover a new indie artist, but I'm really destined to just listen to Spice for the 200th time. At Diablo feels the same way I do.

Five Song Friday: Awful Songs I Loved in Junior High (and Occasionally Listen to Now)

It's simple. Every Friday, I pick five songs that I've been loving for the past week. They don't have to be new songs or even singles from the album...the only requirement is that they're amazing.

1. Dream "He Loves U Not"
When this song came out, I thought Dream was going to be around forever. Who would have thought that their popularity would have lasted through one more song?



2. M2M "Everything You Do"
One of the first Disney Channel bands that I ever fell for. I doubt anyone else actuall remembers M2M, but they were awesome back in the day. They had this song and "Don't Say You Love Me" (which I actually owned as a single...that is so old school). In fact their entire album, "Shades of Purple" was the SHIT in 7th grade.



3. ATC "Around the World"
I used to annoy all of my friends in junior high by singing the "La la la la" part obnoxiously loud during band class.



4. A*Teens "Dancing Queen"
Before I loved ABBA, I loved this teenage copycat group. I think "obsessed" is actually a better way to describe it. Their entire first album was full of ABBA covers that were cool in 7th grade, but now just sound awful compared to the originals. I still love "Upside Down" though.



5. S Club 7 "Never Had a Dream Come True"
Does anyone else remember the S Club 7 sitcom on Fox Family on Saturday morning? It was one of the few shows I made sure to watch every week back in the day. After the show ended, and S Club 7 hadn't made it big in America, I kind of gave up on them. Then, in 8th grade, lo and behold, this song became their only American hit and I was in love again.

Five Song Friday

It's simple. Every Friday, I pick five songs that I've been loving for the past week. They don't have to be new songs or even singles from the album...the only requirement is that they're amazing.

Amy Winehouse "Love is a Losing Game"
I was going to include her last week after her big Grammy wins (5 in total, including 3 of the 4 big ones!) but I simply forgot. The reason I chose "Love is a Losing Game" is because, frankly, I'm sick of pimping out "Rehab" to get you to listen to her and this probably the next best song on her CD. It's so touching and earnest that you can't help but to feel for her.




Sheila Broflovski and the Parents of South Park "Blame Canada"
I just did an oral presentation in my Literature and Culture class about how this song related to American culture, so I've naturally been listening to it like mad to get everything I can out of it. Best lyric: "Don't blame me/For my son Stan/He saw the darn cartoon/And now he's off to join the Klan!"




Janet Jackson "The Pleasure Principle"
I hadn't heard this song in awhile when it came up on shuffle on my iTunes, and after listening to it I quickly remembered why this is my favorite Janet Jackson song.




Celine Dion "Alone"
Did anyone else see Celine's fabulous TV special last week? I was with a friend who's also a fan of the French-Canadian diva when we stumbled across it channel surfing. The special was great and Celine, as always, was flawless, singing songs from her latest CD Taking Chances. The best song from there is this cover of the 80's classic "Alone" by Heart, which Celine transforms into an even bigger melodramatic opera of a song on par with "It's All Coming Back to Me Now".




ABBA "Love Isn't Easy (But It Sure Is Hard Enough)"
Just because I love ABBA and this song was stuck in my head all day yesterday.

Best Album Cover Ever?

A couple of days, I got a hold of the ABBA discography and while I was loading them into my iTunes, this cover appeared for their Super Trouper album. Needless to say, I immediately fell in love with it. If you know anything about the title song, you know it fits in perfectly (My favorite and the most telling lyric: "Facing 20,000 of your friends/How could anyone be so lonely?") with the theme. Plus, it is so divalicious with the obnoxious white spotlight shining directly on the group and drawing all the attention away from the people in the crowd. Très amusante.

Along with this album cover, I think I've discovered ABBA's best non-greatest hits album: Voulez Vous. Not only does it contain three of my top 10 favorite ABBA songs, but it also has such brilliant "fillers" (they're so much more than that) as "The King Has Lost His Crown" and "As Good As New."

God I love ABBA.

Random Top 10: "Dancing Queen"-ed Out and the Great ABBA songs

ABBA is, bar none, my favorite musical group ever. Screw The Beatles. Fuck The Rolling Stones. Even The Sex Pistols and the Spice Girls can't compare to this supergroup from Sweden. They, during the hey-day of Disco, made cheesy pop music classy and respectable and, more importantly, their music doesn't sounded dated or as rooted in the 70's as many of their counterparts (Listen to "Ring My Bell" and you can definitely tell it's a disco song, but ABBA's "Lay All Your Love on Me" could have been made a year ago). Unfortunately though, whenever most people think of ABBA nowadays, all they can talk about is "Dancing Queen." I have no problem with this song whatsoever (it's really a fine tune), but for the past year or so I've just gotten so sick of the song that I can't even listen to it anymore. The same thing with "Mamma Mia." It's just a shame that people are all stuck on this song when ABBA has created a multitude of other songs that are just as good (if not better) than "Dancing Queen" and "Mamma Mia." So, here's my list of the 10 best ABBA songs that everyone should listen to right now and immediately fall in love with.

10. Voulez Vous (Voulez Vous)
Not only can you create fabulous choreography to it (my friend Ashley and I have done it on a long car ride home) but that line "Voulez vous! Ah-hah" can get stuck in your head for days.

9. Super Trouper (Super Trouper)
A lovely and simple pop song about being a pop star that is made even greater by the chorus where the men sing in the background "Sup-per-per Troup-per-per." It's so much fun that you can go listen to the whole song and just sing that section.

8. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) (Super Trouper)
When The Madonna sampled this song in her hit "Hung Up" not only was it a brilliant choice on her part (this song definitely has the catchiest hook ABBA ever created) but it made me realize just what a great song "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" is.

7. Money, Money, Money (Arrival)
The ultimate gold digger song.

6. Knowing Me, Knowing You (Arrival)
The realization that a relationship is never going to work captured in a brilliant pop song. I don't know how they did it, but they did.

5. Angeleyes (Voulez Vous)
Agnetha and Ann-Frid's voices go so beautifully together on this song that they could have been singing the alphabet for three and a half minutes and it still would have been great. "Angeleyes," luckily, is a really well written song- it's a shame it's relatively ignored when discussing the best ABBA songs.

4. Waterloo (Waterloo)
ABBA's breakthrough hit (it won the Eurovision contest the year it was entered) is still one of their best because their is just so much energy behind this song that you can just feel their desire to create the perfect pop song. Besides, what other song can you think of that draws parallels between Napoleon's surrender at Waterloo and a power struggle in a relationship...I didn't think so.

3. I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do (ABBA)
From the moment I saw Toni Collete march down the aisle to this song at her wedding in Muriel's Wedding, I realized two things: 1) I'm totally doing that at my wedding and 2) This song is the shit. Fabulously over-the-top (listen to that wailing saxophone!) and not ashamed of this at all, it's ABBA's best pure pop song.

2. Chiquitita (Voulez Vous)
ABBA very rarely dabbled in the serious, but when they did, it was golden. "Chiquitita," which tells of a person trying to understand why a good friend is retreating away from everyone and into them self, would be good on it's own with lyrics as beautiful as "Chiquitita, you and I know, how the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving" but it also happens to contain one of ABBA's most haunting melodies.

1. The Winner Takes It All (Super Trouper)
"The Winner Takes It All" is another serious song (this time about the pain of divorce and/or breaking up) and also one of their most personal (the group members were all divorcing/had divorced each other at this point). It's so emotional and raw that you can't help being compelled by it. Plus, that note at the end is one for the ages: Agnetha rips into it with all the power and bitterness she can muster...a spectacular feast for the ears.

So what do you think? What are your favorite ABBA songs? Which songs of mine do you disagree with?