The Most Obnoxious Sharpay and Ryan Act Not Done By Sharpay and Ryan

I had never heard of the British duo Same Difference until reading a post about them on Popjustice and stumbled upon this clip on Youtube. Hearing a snippet of their upcoming single "We Are One," I decided to investigate. Apparently, they competed on the British talent show The X Factor (which boasts Simon Cowell and Sharon Osbourne as judges) and made it all the way to third place. The fact that they did so well is further proof just how completely different America and Britain really are. These two would have gotten crucified on American Idol if they recreated this relentlessly upbeat and cheerful rendition of the Wham! classic "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go." America hates unapologetically cheesy pop music and would have laughed these two seemingly lovely people off the stage.

On another note, doesn't this look exactly like a deleted music scene from one of the High School Musical films? Can't you imagine Sharpay and Ryan completely dominating everyone else with a performance like this during some random audition or rehearsal?

Ooooh....Kinky

Is anyone else really turned on by this?

Kinky sex games not your thing? How about this...

I guess I still have a little white trash in me.

"Say Hi to Your Mother For Me"

I have no idea why this is so funny, but I crack up everytime I watch it. Congrats Andy Samberg, that accent is dead on!

Confession Sundays

For the lapsed Catholic in all of us- a new series in which I confess my deepest, darkest secrets before Oprah and The Madonna and wait for my atonement.

For no reason whatsoever, I completely detest Tim Robbins as an actor.

He's been in a couple of great films (Bull Durham, The Shawshank Redemption), some generally good films (The Player, The Hudsucker Proxy) and he directed the great anti-death penalty film Dead Man Walking, but I just can't stand looking at Tim Robbins whenever I see him on screen. He does absolutely nothing for me as an actor. I've seen a pile of dirty laundry with more personality than Tim Robbins. And the Lord only knows what Susan Sarandon sees in him to keep her interested for 20 years. She's so fabulous and he's so meh.

A Compliment (?) from Rachel Zoe

"Oh my God, Rants of a Diva is so f-ing fabulous I want to stab myself and then jump off a ten-story building."

Has anyone else had the misfortune of witnessing The Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo? Is it not like the most annoying show on the planet? I swear to God that half of the show consists of Rachel and her useless dolt assistants sitting around, talking on a phone and repeating "Oh my God" over and over again. Even the slightest setback is a tragedy on par with Hamlet. Then, whenever she sees a dress that she likes, it's always so amazing that she wants to inflict bodily harm on herself. Ugh, nothing annoys me more than people who talk like this in a non-ironic way. I was better off two weeks ago when I had no idea who the hell Rachel Zoe was.

My Best Post Blog-a-thon: What the Christ do Victoria Beckham, The Brothers Jonas and Jean-Pierre Léaud Have in Common?

He Shot Cyrus is hosting the My Best Post Blog-a-thon in which bloggers are invited to share their best or favorite post to entice other readers who may be unfamiliar with their blogs. It's an ingenious idea and when I was invited, I immediately accepted. Being indecisive, however, I had a real problem deciding what was my "best" post. I narrowed it down to three and I'm afraid that's as low as I can go. I feel that these best represent my abilities as a writer and what I try to do with Rants of a Diva: slightly serious but always silly and sarcastic. So, in no particular order, here are my three favorite posts:

Rants on Stolen Kisses
Unlike most of America, I've never succumbed to sequelitis...that is, until Francois Truffaut's sequel to The 400 Blows.

Random Top 10: Victoria Beckham Quotes from Spice World
I'm one of the few who still love Spice World and this is a silly look at one of the most underrated performances of the 90's.

Rants on Camp Rock
I love ripping a new one on terrible movies and Camp Rock is one of the worst of the year.

Don't Get Mad. Get Everything.

Believe it or not, up until a couple of days ago, I had never seen The First Wives Club (Hugh Wilson, 1996) or, to tell you the truth, even had the slightest interest in it. But then, while hanging out with a couple of friends, it came on TV and we decided to watch it. In retrospect, I don't know what the hell I was thinking, because not only is The First Wives Club supreme escapist fun, but it also contains a cast that would give any serious actressexual a wet dream: Diane Keaton, Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, Dame Maggie Smith, Sarah Jessica Parker, Eileen Heckart and Marcia Gay Harden. So what if the plot is a little predictable; every minute with these amazingly classy women is an utter joy. The main trio of Keaton, Midler and Hawn handle the overused comedic situations they are given like old pros and give them fresh spins that are funnier than they should have been. The "fall-out" scene where Midler and Hawn hurl non-stop insults at each other, one right after another, while Keaton stands back and refuses to take a side and ends up with a "merry-go-slap" was a thing of beauty. What about that fabulous musical finale? Check out the clip below (don't worry, there aren't any spoilers here) and tell me you don't feel a swell of emotion as they strut their stuff down the street to Lesley Gore's "You Don't Own Me". These few moments nearly contain as much Girl Power as Spice World and that's never a bad thing. B+

Confession Sundays

For the lapsed Catholic in all of us- a new series in which I confess my deepest, darkest secrets before Oprah and The Madonna and wait for my atonement.

I like The Madonna's Hard Candy more than Confessions on a Dance Floor

I realize this may not seem like a huge deal, but among Madonna fans, Confessions is the masterpiece and Hard Candy is just a mild diversion until her next, greater album. While I enjoy Confessions a great deal ("Hung Up" is one of the finest songs of The Madonna's career and "Sorry," "I Love New York," and "Jump" are great as well) I just don't find it as stimulating as Hard Candy. I can put Confessions on and play the whole thing without even realizing that there are 12 tracks instead of one long song. For some people, this may be a positive and I have nothing against that, but I like a little variety when listening to an album. Hard Candy has this variety I desire (how many albums can go from the 80's throwback "Heartbeat" to something as deep and personal as "Miles Away"?) and, consequently, I have listened to it many more times than Confessions.

RIP Paul Newman

Add one more name to the list that makes 2008 the saddest years for Hollywood deaths in recent memory. Paul Newman, film legend since the mid-50's, has passed away after a battle with cancer. Not only was he a 10 time Academy Award nominee (8 for Best Actor, 1 for Best Supporting Actor and 1 for Best Picture) and a sex symbol long into his 60's, but he was also a huge humanitarian, donating all of the proceeds from his line of salad dressings and other foods to charity, among other things. He was a very great man and will be sorely missed.

Paul Newman was a very important figure in my appreciation of classic films. One of my first memories of him was watching Cat on a Hot Tin Roof when I was getting started with my film obsession. I was about 15 and happened to catch it on PBS late one night and I instantly fell in love. His chemistry with Elizabeth Taylor was electric and they drew things out of each other that I had never seen before. If this was acting back then, I wanted to see more of it. I think his best performance was as the desperate pool shark in The Hustler three years later and his Oscar loss that year is one of the biggest travesties in their long, sordid history.

RIP Paul.

Weekend Rental Picks

Broadcast News (James L. Brooks, 1987)
James L. Brooks is perhaps better known today for the mega-weepie Terms of Endearment and the infamous As Good As It Gets, which earned Helen Hunt an Oscar over a lineup including Dame Judi Dench and Julie Chrisite, but Broadcast News, his nearly forgotten, rarely discussed film from 1987, is his real masterpiece. Broadcast News is about so many things-- male/female relationships, a love triangle, ethics of the TV news, the wackiness that goes on behind the scenes, women in power-- but, unlike most films that would crumble under all that heft, Brooks' film thrives under the pressure. Broadcast News is funny, literate and beautifully done, the type of smart film that we sadly don't see much of anymore. And what a cast: Holly Hunter excels in one of her first big roles, Albert Brooks gives Woody Allen a run for his money as the most neurotic actor around and William Hurt, whom I never thought much of as an actor beforehand, is fantastic as the "dumb jock" who gets by in life on his looks.

Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (Frank Capra, 1936)
It Happened One Night and It's a Wonderful Life are Frank Capra's masterpieces, but Mr. Deeds Goes to Town is my favorite film of his. Silly, but never ridiculous; dreamily romantic, but never sappy; idealistic, but never preachy- it's the type of film only Frank Capra could do and get away with (as evidenced by the abysmal failure that was the Adam Sandler remake a few years ago). Gary Cooper and Jean Arthur both give their best performances as the common man fighting the corrupt system and the newswoman who first laughs at Cooper's foreigness but later commends it, respectively.

La Strada (Federico Fellini, 1956)
Federico Fellini would quickly become a more sophisticated (and, as a result, less accessible) filmmaker after the worldwide success of this film. To me, however, nothing that I've seen of his (except for, possibly, the first half of La Dolce Vita) has ever come close to the beautiful, humanistic La Strada. Giulietta Masina plays the impish, Chaplin-esque wife of a brutish strongman (Anthony Quinn) and Fellini follows their exploits all around the Italian countryside. La Strada is touching, precious, gently funny and enormously charming; if you're going to try Fellini, this is the perfect place to start.

The Eternal Struggle Between Good and Evil Played Out on My Conscious Over the Sex Drive Trailer

Evil: This movie is nothing but insipid teenage/college student trash that Hollywood throws at us every other week.

Good: But James Marsden is in it!

Evil: It's nothing but a ripoff of Eurotrip (and that film was shitty enough)!

Good: But James Marsden is being silly!

Evil: Miracle at St. Anna had a funnier trailer than this pile of dreck.

Good: But James Marsden gets to be a big goofball and remember how much we loved him the last time he did that?

Evil: James Marsden can't save a film as dire looking as this.

Good: True, but if I sat through Prom Night for Brittany Snow, I can sit through anything for my cinematic loves...and James Marsden is so funny!

Today in "No Shit. We Knew This Five Years Ago" News

How is this news to anyone? Kathy Griffin's been saying this for years.

OMG Shoes!

I bought a new pair of shoes a couple of weeks ago. Guess where I got the idea...


I'm pathetic, I know.

Beauty in the Monotony

I hadn't even heard of Day Night Day Night (Julia Loktev, 2007) until Nick Flicks Picks put it on its Top 10 list for 2007 and even then, although he usually has excellent taste, I wasn't exactly rushing to the nearest Blockbuster to rent it. It wasn't until I saw an excellent, curiosity-raising trailer on some random DVD over the summer that really peaked my interest that I decided to put it on my Must See list that's a mile long. When I went to the video store on Thursday, my intention was to find Les Chanson d'Amour, a movie I thought had been released to DVD over the summer but apparently isn't coming out until November (according to Amazon), but when I couldn't find it, I picked up Day Night Day Night and I must say that I wasn't disappointed.

Let me start off by saying that this film isn't for everyone. I don't want to say that you're stupid and ignorant if you don't "get" this film (especially since I'm not really sure if I grasped the enormity of it myself) and its slow rhythm and pace isn't intended for today's fanboy generation, but, if you give it the time it deserves, Day Night Day Night is an incredibly rewarding experience.

Luisa Williams, in an impressive Falconetti-esque performance of epic proportions, plays an unnamed girl who has, for some mysterious reason, decided to become a suicide bomber. She sits in a hotel, makes a recruiting video, tries on a bomb and walks around NYC trying to find the right place to detonate the bomb; that's all that really happens, plot wise, during the 90 minute runtime. What makes Day Night Day Night so special is the manner in which Loktev decides to tell the story. Instead of going after the larger issues that surround terrorism and suicide bombing that someone like Oliver Stone would have gone full force after, Loktev gives the "minor" details major attention, finding beauty in the monotony of taking a bath, eating an egg roll or walking along the sidewalk.

The most interesting moment of this film is when Williams is deliberating when to set off the bomb in her backpack at a NYC crosswalk and the camera cuts around to each individual doing random, inane things like talk on their cell phones or check their nails. Loktev heightens the tension incredibly, almost to the point where I couldn't stand it and all I could do was stare at the screen wondering when the bomb was going to go off. The way Loktev is able to play with our emotions so ably using such simple devices is nearly unthinkable and a true testament to her talent: she is definitely one to look out for in the future. B+

Confession Sundays

For the lapsed Catholic in all of us- a new series in which I confess my deepest, darkest secrets before Oprah and The Madonna and wait for my atonement.

I think Kim Kardashian is really pretty.

Is she as dumb as a box of rocks? Sure. Is Joel McHale correct in saying that she's "famous for having a big ass and a sex tape"? Absolutely. Is her show so trashy that it makes The Girls Next Door look classy? Yup. But, by God's good grace, she's a very attractive individual.

And that ass...

Wow