A blog currently wondering which of the One Direction boys will take him home. Other obsessions: hot boys, Britney Spears, the Disney pop princesses, French New Wave cinema.
Personally, I think/wish that all gay people would simply come out of the closet. I think that would be the perfect answer for all of us gay people, as a group. That said, I also realize that some gay people think they should be conspiciously "out" while other gay people think that choosing to come "out" is a personal choice that should be left to the individual, cause only each individual knows the specifics of his or her situation and thus only they can best estimate what may be the best course for each one of them on a personal basis. But, I do think that it's important for people who are gay to acknowledge that they are gay whenever it becomes clear that withholding the information would allow discrimination to occur. I don't think a person serves himself or herself best if he or she finds themself in a situation where they are silent about their sexual orientaion and by remaining silent they permit discrimnation against gays to exist and perpetuate. The unfortunate risk of coming out as a way to counter discrimination is that the person then places their own self in the potential path of being discriminated themself. I think if a gay person isn't out and observes situations of discrimination or potential discrimination they are ultimately participating in the discrimination and thus, really harming themselves. Though that person may reap the benefits of staying silent such as personal wealth or reputation or relationships ultimatley in the end, the person is really harming everyone by participating in the false impression held by some people that there is something wrong with being gay. It is never wrong to be gay, it never was and it never will be no matter what anyone has ever said in the past, no matter where it is written, and no matter what anyone says in the future. Anyone who says that being gay is wrong is stating something the is not true. Anything, any book, anything, no matter to whom the book is attributed to have been written by or to whom the views in the book may be said to represent, anyone, or anything anywhere who says that being gay is wrong is lying and stating something that is false. And so, it is to those people and organization who feel there is something wrong that the truth is the most valuable. And the only way to be truthful such that they can see and observe the truth living and in action is to provide it to them in the form of living gay people who are clearly and honestly living their lives, showing that being gay is just how reality really is and that there is now nothing wrong with gay people or being gay or peforming any gay sexual act, and there never was anything wrong with it and there never will be anything wrong with it no matter who has said it, who says it now, or who says it in the future, and no matter what book says it. Period.Now all that also said, I also think that whether one is gay or not is only, actually, necessary to be known at only one particular point, and that is when someone is interested in dating another person. Then it becomes extremely important that be known. All the rest of the time its not really that important to everyone else, cause all the rest of the time people are just doing normal things and living their lives just like everybody and its important to treat all people with respect regardless of what they like doing sexuall within dating situations or in their private married lives. However, I think Clay has hit upon something important too. Its also important to set a good example for your children, and if you're a gay person with children you must model right living for them, and a part of modeling "right living" for your children is modeling truthfulness without shame about your life and the who you are. Its not right to model shame for children for they will think this is how they should feel about themselves when they are adults, ashamed. And so Clay is doing the right thing, and I think he's done the right thing all along, his sexuality was nobodys business except to those who he wished to date. Even those who wished do date him didn't actually need to know his sexual orientation unless he accepted a date with them. People in the public eye who are gay must choose how they will respond to questions about their sexuality. People in the public eye who are gay are often challenged to "come out" based upon the idea that as a public figure and therefore a role model to some degree its their obligation to "come out" since in refraining from doing so might inadvertantly cause them to thought of as silently participating in discrimnation against gays in general. For most people who are not famous the times when they should stand up against discrimation in their own lives are only called to do so many and much fewer times than a famous person could be called upon to do. The non=famous individual simply isn't called upon to bear what a famous person is called upon to bear. Though a private individual may have some hard times in their lives by standing up for themselves it will never compare to what a famous person is potentially called upon to bear should they "come out". And so I think that we should have some compassion for the famous people among us who are gay because the very fact that their choices stand to influence so many people, its also true that the potential difficulties they have to face would be out of porportion to what a regular person has to face, and so for a famous person to stand up and say they're gay is an act of courage far beyond what private individuals must face when they stand up for being gay. And so, though I personally still wish that all famous people who are gay would come out, I simply must also not judge them for not doing so for I have never walked in their shoes and will never know what they would potentially be facing or losing or gaining should they come out. In short, the burden of their choice is one that I've never had to bear and probably never will. All I can do is offer my unconditional support to whoever comes out as a gay person and let all of those who do know that I support them. This is all any of us can do, and actually all we really want from anyone, gay or straight, to do whenever we come out. And so this is what Clay appears to want to do, is to model the behaviours of acceptance and truth to his child. And so he chose to come out and accept the concequences of doing so, so that his child will see his father doing just that, standing up, being a man, and accepting the concequences of your actions. He is modeling one of the great lessons all parents should model for their children.So, whatever he did in the past, his burden of celebrity, his choice to keep his dating life private, all of that was he choice. And as far as I know he never spoke out against gay people (which would be the ultimate lie that any gay person could commit against not just gays but against all of the people of the world, for it perpetuates a lie) and so I think Clay should be allowed to be respected for the path he chose prior to coming out and ultimately be respected for now choosing to do the right thing, "be a man" if you will, and model the ideas for his child of one should not be ashamed of himself, should be honest with others, and should accept the concequences of not being ashamed and being honest.Hats off to you Clay!
Quarter turns, quarter turns!
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