Saturday, July 4, 2009

Sasha Grey in The Girlfriend Experience


Steven Soderbergh's latest attempt to revolutionize independent filmmaking, The Girlfriend Experience, is a pretty interesting film. It's not breaking any new ground or anything, but it's a generally well made film about a high-class call girl, her gym trainer boyfriend and their relationship in the uncertain early days of the current recession. The real gem in this piece, however, is the performance from much-publicized porn star Sasha Grey.

On a technical front, Grey isn't a terribly gifted actress. Often her delivery and demeanor suggests one of those vapid girls on The Hills and she doesn't exactly have the type of voice you'd want to listen to for hours on end. In all honesty, I really don't see her having much of a legitimate acting career after this. Despite all this, however, I thought her performance in The Girlfriend Experience was an interesting feat, in much the same way that I've always liked Raquel Welch in Myra Breckenridge: on their own they are not very good but in the context of the film, the performance works. Actually, the film and Grey have a legitimate symbiotic relationship; the one without the other truly doesn't work.

The reason I think Grey is so successful in The Girlfriend Experience is because her character, Chelsea, is supposed to be a cipher. She's so good at her job because she is naturally a blank slate for all of her clients to project whatever they want her to be when they are with her. Chelsea may be nodding her head at the appropriate times and pretending to be interested in their worries (mostly about the financial meltdown), but she probably doesn't really care in the least. But these clients don't care because she can fake it well enough and they're too caught up in their own problems to even notice.

Grey's Chelsea is so good at this that when confronted with her own emotions in "real" relationships with her boyfriend and, in snippets throughout the film, a reporter writing a piece about her and her work, she has no way of communicating to them. When her boyfriend confronts her after she tells him she's going away for the weekend with another guy, she sits there and gives very vague and short answers to his (necessary and completely called for) inquisition, almost as if she expects him to know what she's talking about without explaining anything. There's also a really great moment when the interviewer is asking her a question she really doesn't want to answer and Grey's Chelsea just sits there, squirming, obviously hoping that by constantly looking away he'll take the hint and move on:






There are many other small moments like this one that are immeasurable to the potency of Grey's performance. I wish I could be optimistic and say that this is the beginning of a great career, but I really can't (although stranger things certainly have happened). Oh well, at least we'll always have this performance to treasure for years to come.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

For Her Fabulous Birthday, She Wants It All

I'm on my way out the door, but I just wanted to wish the fiercest diva (under 30, anyways) of them all, two-time Diva Cup Award-winning actress La Tisdale, a happy 24th birthday! How can you celebrate at home, you ask? Why, it's easy! Just follow these directions:

Act silly

Buy a cake with her picture on it

Be completely fierce everywhere you go

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

2009 Half-Year Ending Report

Here we are. 2009 is already half done and, damn that just flew by, didn't it? I figured it was high time for a progress report on my favorites in a host of random categories. I'm not sure how many of these will still be here come December, but these will more than do for the moment.

Top 5 Films:
Honorable Mention: Confessions of a Shopaholic (P.J. Hogan) The first film to deal with the immediate impact of the recession. Plus, as an added bonus, features an uproarious performance from Isla Fisher with ample support from a swoon-worthy Hugh Dancy.

5. Star Trek (J.J. Abrams)
A rare critical and commercial blockbuster success that's actually enjoyable. No excessive dramatics, no dumb romantic subplots, just good, clean action and comedy.
4. Sunshine Cleaning (Christine Jeffs)
Nothing groundbreaking, but a keenly observed and quietly moving entry into much-maligned "quirky indie comedy" subgenre. I'd rather have more films like this than Transformers.
3. The Brothers Bloom (Rian Johnson)
The 30's screwball meets the quirky indie comedy meets Ocean's 11. A perfectly charming cast and seeing Rinko Kikuchi blow shit up makes this film a can't-miss.
2. Adventureland (Greg Mottola)
With this, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and, hopefully, (500) Days of Summer, the young adult romantic comedy has finally come of age. The stone-faced goddess Kristen Stewart casts a magical spell, enchanting both Jesse Eisenberg's lost college graduate and audience members willing to go the extra mile for her.

1. Up (Pete Docter and Bob Peterson)
It may not be as much of a technical marvel as last year's WALL-E, but you'll be hard pressed to find a more emotionally involving movie, let alone another animated movie. For the first time ever, a film has moved me to tears...and not just a little teary eyed, I'm talking me, sitting in the back of the theatre, water gushing from my eyes like a leaky faucet every 10 or so minutes.

Top 5 Performances:
Honorable Mention: Sasha Grey, The Girlfriend Experience Technically not very interesting and not much beyond the average episode of The Hills, but in the context of the film it works wonderfully.

5. Beyoncé, Obsessed
"You listen to me. You know exactly who this is. You came into my house? You touched my child? You think you're crazy? I'll show you crazy. Just try me, bitch." Between this and that final fight in which she headbutts Ali Larter and utters the line "I'ma wipe the floor wit yo skinny ass," Beyoncé has proved that she is beyond competent in at least one genre: camp.

4. Adrien Brody, Rinko Kikuchi, Mark Ruffalo & Rachel Weisz, The Brothers Bloom
Impeccable ensemble work; none of these performances could have existed without the others.

3. Isla Fisher, Confessions of a Shopaholic
After amazingly hilarious supporting turns in films as mediocre as Wedding Crashers and Definitely, Maybe, Fisher gets the chance to finally headline her first film and boy does she deliver. On most actresses, her loud, over-the-top and nearly insane style of comedy would be too much, but on Fisher it's endearing and utterly can't-catch-your-breath funny.

2. Emily Blunt, Sunshine Cleaning
I liked her (not as much as most people, though) in The Devil Wears Prada, but her performance in Sunshine Cleaning trumps that one easily. It's a shame that she flew under the radar because I can think of few examples of monologues that are as moving as the one she gives when she's confessing to her new friend about the death of her mother.

1. Drew Barrymore & Jessica Lange, Grey Gardens
Flashy, but not excessively so. Lived in, but not too familiar. Stylized, but not annoyingly so. Everything Barrymore & Lange do (giving the best performances I've ever seen from either of them) is nearly perfect. That explosive final confrontation scene between them blisters with pain and hurt and might just be one of my favorite scenes of the year thusfar.

Top 5 Rentals:
Honorable Mention: Nanook of the North (Robert Flaherty, 1922) The first "documentary" isn't exactly a documentary by today's standards, but how can you get that nit-picky over a film this beautiful that single-handedly created a new film style.

5. The Marriage of Maria Braun (Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1979)
The rise of modern Germany after the fall of Hitler shown through the eyes of Maria Braun, a determined young bride doing anything she can to get ahead in life and be with her perennially absent husband.
4. Two for the Road (Stanley Donen, 1967)
Although the British New Wave tricks are a touch annoying, Donen has crafted an honest, alternatively sad and funny look at a marriage from its humble beginnings to disintegrating end. Albert Finney has never been more likeable (give or take Erin Brockovich) and this may be Audrey Hepburn giving her greatest performance while also looking her most chic (both in competition with Breakfast at Tiffany's)
3. Design for Living (Ernst Lubitsch, 1933)
A dazzling, superbly adapted version of Noel Coward's play of the same name featuring a sexy Gary Cooper, Fredric March at the height of his charm and one of the most underrated actresses of the 30's, Miriam Hopkins, doing what she does best.
2. Masculin féminin (Jean-Luc Godard, 1966)
Godard's fast-paced, dizzying look at the "children of Marx and Coca-Cola" is not only one of his most enjoyable films, it's also up there with Rebel Without a Cause as one of the greatest films about youth ever made. It may be hard for some to ignore the basic misogyny of Godard's vision, but Jean-Pierre Léaud (in his best non-Antoine Doinel performance) and Chantal Goya are so endearing and brimming with charm that you pretty much forget that.
1. I'll Cry Tomorrow (Daniel Mann, 1955)
On the surface, I'll Cry Tomorrow appears to be nothing more than your average 50's star biopic, but dig a little deeper and you'll find one of the most gruesome, dirty and downright ugly depictions of alcoholism ever to come from a studio film. Figure in a career-best performance from Susan Hayward and Jo Van Fleet as her stage mother from hell and you have an all-around fantastic movie.

Top 5 Albums:
Honorable Mention: None Technically this should go to Kelly Clarkson's All I Ever Wanted but I'm docking points for taking a step back after the brilliant and ballsy My December.

5. Royksopp, Junior
Crazy, out there (for me anyways) electro dance pop with a few shining moments.
Key Track: 'The Girl and the Robot' featuring Robyn
4. Melinda Doolittle, Coming Back to You
Melinda Doolittle doing what she did best on Idol: singing. Her retro soul throwback was one of the highlights of the year so far but you can see just how little attention she got.
Key Track: 'It's Your Love'
3. Little Boots, Hands
An album so interesting and listenable that even only on one listen I'm confident in declaring it one of the year's best.
Key Track: 'Meddle'
2. Lily Allen, It's Not Me, It's You
Lily's back and with a vengenace, taking on celebrity mania, boyfriends with small dicks and President Bush.
Key Track: 'Chinese'

1. Agnes Dance Love Pop
Pure silly 90's-era pop. I loved every minute of it.
Key Track: 'Release Me'

Top 5 Singles:
Honorable Mention: David Archuleta 'Touch My Hand' Archie at his most endearing. 3 1/2 minutes of cheesy pop perfection.
5. Lady GaGa 'Poker Face'
I don't know why, but "Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun" is one of the most ingenious lyrics I've heard in a while.
4. Girls Aloud 'Untouchable'
The single version is as good as you can get by editing a 6+ minute masterpiece into 3 1/2, but the album version is where it's at. Pure electropop magic. In 20 years, this is the song our kids will still be talking about.
3. La Roux 'Bulletproof'
This British import is like an mad combination of Tilda Swinton and Annie Lennox who will soon grace the United States with her fantastic presence. Check out her UK #1 hit before it hits the big time over here and you can say "I knew her when..."
2. Leona Lewis 'Run'
It's still the most beautiful song I've ever heard.
1. Jesse McCartney 'How Do You Sleep'
Not only is it the finest song on Jesse Mac's Departure album, it is also probably one of the most perfect summer songs ever.

Top 5 Bonus Tracks, B-Sides, Remixes & Assorted Non-Singles:
Honorable Mention: Dan Black 'HYPNTZ' A white guy singing Biggie's "Hypnotize" over the beat to Rihanna's "Umbrella." This really shouldn't work, but somehow it does.

5. Kris Allen 'Heartless'
A white guy doing an acoustic version of Kanye's 'Heartless'. This shouldn't have worked, but it did and was Kris's shining moment during his incredible Idol run.
4. Agnes 'Love Love Love [Extended Version]'
What's better than 3 minutes of 'Love Love Love'? How about 5 minutes of a gloriously beautiful version of 'Love Love Love'.
3. David Archuleta 'Zero Gravity'
This song is possibly better than 'Touch My Hand', 'Crush' and his version of 'With You' put together.
2. Girls Aloud 'Memory of You'
Girls Aloud's best B-side (if you don't count 'Singapore', that is) and it's still a total mystery why it wasn't included on Out of Control- it fits right in perfectly.
1. Leighton Meester 'Birthday'
Our second glimpse (after her cover of 'Bette Davis Eyes') into the amazing musical talent that is Leighton Meester. The song is still as stunning as when I first wrote about it.

Top 5 Obsessions:
Honorable Mention: The Downfall of those Jon & Kate Plus 8 Assholes I hated them with a passion before so you can tell I'm happy that their "perfect" life is crumbling apart.

5. Kristen Stewart's Obsessive Hair Move
I've been working on my own imitation of it, but nothing will ever match the way Stewart runs her fingers through her hair every 20 seconds.
4. (500) Days of Summer
I hope Oprah is kind to me and doesn't make me wait too much after this film opens in a limited release to expand to my area. I can't wait much more for a dancing Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the one they used to call Anal Girl!
3. Leighton Meester & Sebastian Stan (Meestan)
A better celebrity couple than Brangelina times infinity. There, I said it.
2. Zac Efron and 17 Again
Honestly, this film was my Twilight. I saw it twice on opening weekend despite how bad it is.
1. Kris Allen on American Idol
Don't believe me? Well, you obviously missed January through May here on the blog.

Top 5 (New) Hot Guys:
Honorable Mention: Andrew Garfield Adorable and instantly lovable in Boy A.

5. Alain Delon & Gary Cooper
I had seen an Alain Delon movie before (the oddly titled Have I the Right to Kill?) but The Leopard just solidified his hotness in my mind. Every movie should now legally be required to have at least five minutes of Alain Delon close-ups, don't you think? Gary Cooper, on the other hand, may seem like an odd choice to everyone who knows him through his later work. But back in the early to mid-30's, Coop was one of the sexiest men in Hollywood. I didn't realize this until I rented a five movie collection of his work and boy was I in for a treat. Perfectly dashing in a tux in Design for Living but when he takes off his shirt in The General Died at Dawn or gets all homoerotic in The Lives of a Bengal Lancer, my heart just melted.

4. Sebastian Stan
Not only is he dating my favorite woman on the planet currently, but he's also so odd looking that he becomes cute. And he can act, which is always a plus in my book.

3. Chris Pine
I never really cared before, but Star Trek was just too much for me to resist. He's funny and yummy- you have no idea how rare that combo is.

2. Chad White
Name not ringing a bell? Here's a refresher.

1. Kris Allen
His beautiful face!

Top 5 Blog Posts:
Honorable Mention: Why Isn't Reece Thompson Hired for Every Movie Ever? Seriously. With the young adult romantic comedy coming of age, where are all the parts for the enormously gifted comedian?

5. OH NO THE BITCH DID NOT JUST SAY THAT
My reaction to Hilary Duff's boneheaded response to Faye Dunaway's personal reaction to the news of Duff being cast in a "reimagining" of Bonnie and Clyde.
4. The Most Hated Woman in America
Everyone hates Katy Allen because she's married to the most gorgeous man on the planet (and newest American Idol!) Kris Allen.
3. 10 Favorite Movie Characters
I pick my favorite movie characters ever and, in the process, learn a little something about myself.
2. Lady GaGa Knows Her Stuff
A flash of creativity on my part inspired by The GaGa's 'Boys, Boys, Boys' and, well, you guessed it, a smorgasbord of boys.
1. 25 Favorite Performances of the TV Season
My most popular post of the year so far (and possibly ever). Leighton Meester is apparently still a controversial #1, but I will continue to stand by it.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Oscar-Nominee The Hangover?, or: Have People Lost Their Goddamn Mind?


When the Academy announced earlier this week that they were expanding the Best Picture nominees from five to ten, the interweb went buzzing about what films were now in consideration for the top award. The most common names tossed around were Star Trek and Up, both enormous critical and commercial successes with major pluses in their corner (ST has the Dark Knight factor plus a host of shoo-in technical noms and wins while Up has Pixar in its corner plus the WALL-E snub last year). But, the strangest name that came up was The Hangover, Todd Phillips's surprise smash hit about a group of men who are trying to recount the night before after a crazy bachelor party. Granted, these are probably the same people who think Transformers was robbed of a Best Picture nomination in 2007, but I still find it alarming that people would even consider this film on the outside edges of Oscar's radar.

Before I get started, let me just say that this is not the disgruntled ramblings of a man pissed he wasted his precious money on a complete stinker of a film. Far from it, actually. I genuinely laughed heartily quite a few times and thought it was funny enough to overcome it's completely overdone and tired setup. But I have to draw the line somewhere and claiming it to be a film, not just a comedy, worthy of Oscar consideration in any category is right where that line needs to be drawn.

First, let's get the completely misguided idea that Zach Galifiankis is a possible candidate for a Best Supporting Actor nom. If you think I'm kidding, head on over to the IMDb message boards and see for yourself. Their reasoning: if Robert Downey, Jr. can get one for Tropic Thunder, than it shouldn't be out of the question for Galifiankis. Hmm, let's think about this one for a second. RDJ was a former Oscar-nominee making a grand comeback to the A-list after a fall from grace due to drugs and a couple of years working steadily in smaller films to try and build his name up who scored majorly in a huge comic book movie and playing, in Tropic Thunder, an American playing an Australian playing an African American. What in the hell does Galifiankis have going for him besides showing his ass a lot and bashing a baby into a car door? Let me put this bluntly: THERE IS NO CHANCE IN HELL ZACH GALIFIANKIS IS GETTING A NOMINATION. Moving on.

If a comedic film is going to get nominated (and possibly win) somewhere, its biggest shot is in one of the screenplay categories (preferably Original since Adaptation is usually filled with prestige pictures). I can kinda see where people are coming from on this one--hell, Borat got nominated here in 2006--but there's really no chance that it will happen for one simple reason: it's not well-written. Don't get me wrong, the film is funny and there are some great one-liners and comedic moments, but when you think about the film as a whole, there's really no structure or point to it all. I can already feel you starting to protest, so let me explain. Comedic films can be anarchic and often times the best ones are the ones that are a bit messy and all over the place. But there's a difference between the anarchy in something like Bringing Up Baby or Pineapple Express than The Hangover. Bringing Up Baby and Pineapple Express are, indeed, frenetic and teetering on the edge of sanity, but there's an actual point behind all the madness. There is a structure and the madness leads somewhere eventually. You can take any section and laugh at how random and hilarious it is at a given point (the golf game in Baby and the outrageous fight between Franco, Rogen and McBride in Pineapple) but, by the end of the film, it serves an actual purpose. On the other hand, The Hangover doesn't have that solid basis to rely on. It simply feels like the writers sat down and thought, "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if the characters did this..." and randomly added it to any part of the story. The situations may be funny, but they aren't connected in any way and just kind of lie there, forgotten, once the film is done with them once and for all. In other words, Bringing Up Baby and Pineapple Express are the South Park to The Hangover's Family Guy. So, since none of the Apatow films have gotten close to an Oscar nomination, and those are prime examples of comedic screenwriting, I sincerely doubt that the scribes of The Hangover have any chance of hearing their name on Oscar nomination morning.

Finally, let's move on to the big prize: Best Picture. Oscar is notoriously awful with declaring comedies worthy of even a nomination in their beloved Best Pic category. Little Miss Sunshine and Juno were exceptions to the rule in their day and had strong dramatic pathos to rely on during good portions of their run time. Before that, it seems that if the film wasn't a romantic comedy of sorts, you're film had absolutely no shot of making it in. Shakespeare in Love, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Ghost, Moonstruck, Tootsie, The Goodbye Girl all made it in, but they are (obviously) in a different league of comedy than The Hangover. So why exactly are people believing that The Hangover has a shot to make it in? Oh, that's right, 10 slots to fill this year. Well, if you've never followed an Oscar race closely, let me give you a little piece of advice. The Academy would rather dismantle its membership and call it a day than give a Best Picture nomination to something foul-mouthed, crass and non-messagey like The Hangover. Nothing in their history, save for perhaps (and I do mean perhaps) She Done Him Wrong's Best Pic nomination in 1932/33, suggests that the Academy would ever nominate The Hangover for their biggest prize. I know there's no such thing as a sure thing, especially this early in the race, but no way. Not going to happen.

Like I said, The Hangover is not that bad of a film and is actually pretty funny, but it belongs with Half Baked in that odd category of comedies that are funny, but also embarrass you at the same time that you are laughing so much at them. But this Oscar talk is going too far and has got to stop now. C+

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Meestan's Big News


I know. I'm excited too!

If the rumors are to be believed and Facebook can be considered a reliable source, then Sebastian Stan has put a ring on girlfriend Leighton Meester (oh, oh, oh). Needless to say, if this turns out to be true, I'm happy for the both of them and wish them much success together.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

2008 Diva Cup Awards: Best Picture, Director & Original and Adapted Screenplay

Forgive the lack of justification and explanation, but it's nearly July and I need to finish these once and for all. If you're dying to know about something, however, either leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail (address on the right) and I'll be sure to fill you in.

Best Picture
(for more in-depth reasoning behind these choices, check out my Top 10 List of 2008)


A Christmas Tale
Director: Arnaud Desplechin
Screenwriter: Emmanuel Bourdieu and Arnaud Desplechin
Cinematographer: Eric Gautier
Starring: Mathieu Amalric, Emile Berling, Laurent Capelluto, Anne Consigny, Catherine Deneuve, Emmanuelle Devos, Chiara Mastroianni, Melvil Poupaud, Jean-Paul Roussillon

In Bruges
Director and Screenwriter: Martin McDonagh
Cinematographer: Eigil Bryld
Starring: Colin Farrell, Ralph Fiennes, Brendan Gleeson

Rachel Getting Married
Director: Jonathan Demme
Screenwriter: Jenny Lumet
Cinematographer: Declan Quinn
Starring: Rosemarie DeWitt, Anisa George, Anne Hathaway, Bill Irwin, Anna Deavere Smith, Debra Winger, Mather Zickel

Reprise

Director: Joachim Trier
Screenwriter: Joachim Trier and Eskil Vogt
Cinematographer: Jakob Ihre
Starring: Henrik Elvestad, Espen Klouman-Hoiner, Anders Danielson Lie, Christian Rubeck, Viktoria Winge

WALL-E

Director: Andrew Stanton
Screenwriter: Pete Docter, Jim Reardon and Andrew Stanton
Starring: Ben Burtt, Jeff Garlin, Elissa Knight, Kathy Najimy, John Ratzenberger, Sigourney Weaver, Fred Willard

And the Diva Cup Goes to: A Christmas Tale

Best Director


Darren Aronofsky
The Wrestler


Jonathan Demme
Rachel Getting Married


Arnaud Desplechin
A Christmas Tale

Andrew Stanton
WALL-E

Joachim Trier
Reprise

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Arnaud Desplechin, A Christmas Tale

Best Original Screenplay


Burn After Reading
Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

A Christmas Tale
Emmanuel Bourdieu, Arnaud Desplechin

The Edge of Heaven
Faith Akin

In Bruges
Martin McDonagh

Rachel Getting Married
Jenny Lumet

And the Diva Cup Goes to: In Bruges

Best Adapted Screenplay

(Not exactly a stellar year for adaptations, huh? In a normal year, and by that I mean a year where the corresponding Oscar nominees don't leave me in a pool of my own tears from boredom, at least two of these would have barely made my top 10)


Blindness
Don McKellar

Boy A
Mark O'Rowe

Choke
Clark Gregg

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Lorene Scafaria

Savage Grace
Howard A. Rodman

And the Diva Cup Goes to: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Looking Good, Mr. Westwick






I've always liked Ed Westwick, but I think his charm and personality is more readily apparent in his demeanor on Gossip Girl not necessarily his looks. He's not ugly, but he's certainly an acquired taste and certainly more out there than the bland and all-American looking Chace Crawford. So when this set of photographs from GQ emerged last week, my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. Ed is smoking in these pics. Goddamn, who ever was the photographer behind these deserves some kind of Noble Prize for making odd looking models look like sex gods. If Penn isn't careful (and doesn't shave off that ridiculous beard), he may have some serious competition for the title of sexiest Gossip Guy.

I Don't Get It

According to everyone I meet at work, I look exactly like Sylar on Heroes, played by Zachary Quinto. I wouldn't mention it, but I hear it all the time and I really do not get it. I'm not saying that I'm hotter than Zachary or anything because A) I'm not that vain and B) he can be pretty sexy at times and can totally rock that 5 o'clock shadow in ways I can't even imagine.


I'm just totally confused with the comparison; we look nothing alike! Maybe you all can help me out and vote in the poll below. By the way, please excuse the fact that I can't a normal picture for the life of me. I don't take many picutres and these were literally the best of the bunch.




Sunday, June 21, 2009

Poor Prince Jack



I know it's a long shot with his show being canceled and whatnot, but can we please get Sebastian Stan an Emmy nomination? How does he wring so much emotion with only seconds of screentime? I was positively floored by his performance in this week's episode.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Rants on Were the World Mine


The darling of the gay film festival circuit last year, Tom Gustafson's Were the World Mine is a gay-themed, musical "re-imagining" of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. To say I hated this movie and completely don't understand how so many people, gay men in particular, find this wildly offensive, stupifyingly clichéd and transparent film to be interesting in any capacity would be a complete understatement. Just like every other film about a gay high schooler, the main character, Timothy (Tanner Cohen), plays a misunderstood loner in a private all-boys school who is harassed daily by most of the jocks. And I say most because, of course, there's the one über-attractive jock, Jonathon (Nathaniel David Becker), who doesn't pick on him that the main character automatically falls in love with (as we are shown in the main character's imaginary brief musical interlude where this character sings this high-pitched love ballad to him, sprawled out on top of a desk, wearing an open button down shirt with his twinky chest showing while a bunch of the other jocks do this excessively stylized ballet dance around him). Timothy also has an absent, unaccepting father and a mother who practically hates her son's homosexuality because it meant she had to leave her husband and go out and work (yeah, I don't know either), but he, of course, has his couple close friends that act as his surrogate family. Anything surprising or new yet? Didn't think so.

Timothy's eccentric, Mrs. Darbus-esque English teacher is putting on the annual school play--a Taymore-inspired musical version of A Midsummer Night's Dream--which requires the participation of everyone in the class (boy, that sounds eerily reminscent of that kickass Gossip Girl episode where everyone had to act in the school's production of The Age of Innocence). Timothy gets the lead (shocking, I know), but finds it difficult to get the part just right, especially with all of the jock kids making fun of him in that not-so-subtle way that only happens in the movies. So, somehow, while practicing his lines one night, Timothy comes up with this magical potion that, when squirted in someone's face through this flower (kind of like in a porn when the guy shoots his load on someone else's face...although I wouldn't know about such things) turns the person gay and makes them fall immediately in love with the first person of the same sex they see. And, of course, since they are gay, they don't merely walk over to their desired love; oh no, that would be too easy and not gay enough. Instead, they have to glide over like a bunch of overeager ballerinas and start making out hardcore. Cut to the next scene where, in the background, instead of practicing the jocks are flitting about in a circle doing ballet moves in point shoes. Yes, I realize that this a movie with fantasy elements, but why is it that Gustafson feels the need to perpetuate the stereotype that because you're gay, you are artsy, can do ballet, must make out with someone within five minutes of meeting someone hot and are clingy and emotionally needy (there's a minor subplot where the macho, homophobic gym teacher gets sprayed with the potion and falls for the principal and ends up on his front porch, hoping he'll let him in and crying and blubbering like a rotten two year old). If you take out the musical numbers (which I must admit aren't too horrendous just overly theatrical and "pretty" for my taste), I really wouldn't have been surprised to hear that this film was made by one of the major studios with its backwards take on homosexuality, obvious story clichés, ridiculous wish fulfillment fantasy and ending I saw coming from a mile away. I wish I could say I'm surprised this is popular with so many of the "AfterElton" gays, but, then again, these are the same people who regularly think Latter Days and Big Eden are two of our community's greatest films. D

Friday, June 19, 2009

Casting The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay

Although it took me close to three months to finally complete, Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay was not a boring or difficult-to-read book by any means. It was just my rotten luck that I decided to read the 600+ page novel right in the middle of the school year when I had little to no time for pleasure reading. Anyways, to say that I loved the book would be an understatement. The fact that Chabon made a novel about the Golden Age of comic books--a subject I know/care very little about--this absorbing is a feat in itself. As soon as I finished it, I couldn't get the characters, their complex relationships with each other and the interesting directions Chabon took the plot (the Antarctica section, for one, as well as the whole "Death of the American Dream" section at the end) out of my head. I kept thinking about this book so much that I finally decided to buy myself a copy with some of my birthday money and for the past month I have been re-reading my favorite bits over again.

As I often do while I'm reading a novel, I picture the movie version in my head and I had a ball doing this with Kavalier and Clay. Apparently, a film adaptation was in the works for awhile with Chabon as the screenwriter and Stephen Daldry as the director. This project was abandoned soon after the script was finished and now seems dead in the water. I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I'm bummed out that it seems we'll never get to see this readily adaptable book make it onto the screen. On the other hand, however, you know that there's no way they can squeeze everything in a 2 hour so something has to be cut. But what in the hell do you cut from Kavalier and Clay? Everything is so perfectly realized and important to the story that I shudder to think what ends up on the cutting room floor. What this film needs is the mini-series treatment so that we can have six or so hours of amazingness and lots of material can be left in. HBO, can you get on this please? Meanwhile, while this fantasy movie plays in my movie, I thought I'd share what actors I would like to play the main characters. I actually put quite a bit of thought into this and really think that this would be the perfect cast (although I would love to hear input from other Kavalier and Clay fanatics).


Jamie Bell
as Joe Kavalier
When the film was in pre-production, the three main roles already had starts attached to them and the only one I kept was Jamie because, let's face it, he's perfect for the role. I know I'm not the most up-to-date on his filmography, but if he managed Billy Elliot at like 14, I'm pretty sure he can successfully tackle Joe Kavalier--the most dynamic and probably most difficult character in the novel. His character goes through so many transitions in the first half of the book--wealthy young Czech gentleman before Hitler's invasion, a refugee leaving his home and family for safety in America, angry up-and-coming comic book illustrator exacting his own revenge against the Nazis for tearing his family apart, young American who just wants to go out with his girl--it will be difficult to hold him together among these disparate threads. Then there's the Antarctica sequence which relies solely on him and his attempts to maintain his sanity after an accident at the station kills everyone and one other guy. I have complete faith in Jamie that he will get this character perfect should he be given the chance to play him.

Anton Yelchin
as Sam Clay
Without a doubt, Sam Clay is the hardest character to cast. When the film was in pre-production, Tobey Maguire was attached to play Sam. If you've read the novel, I hope you can agree with me that that would have been a horrid, horrid idea. Sam Clay is a casting director's nightmare; you have to find an actor who is young, talented, short and kinda attractive (this is a movie after all- who wants to look at an ugly person for two hours?) but not too attractive (the character is repeatedly described as kind of shlubby and not exactly the most beautiful person around). I was stuck for awhile until I came up with Ashton Holmes a few weeks ago (it must have been after his appearance on the season finale of House). After that, Anton Yelchin came to mind and he immediately seemed absolutely perfect. After Charlie Bartlett, I feel pretty confident that he can handle the parts of the story where he has to be an energetic salesman, constantly trying to convince the powers in charge his and Joe's comic book ideas are worth taking a chance on. I'm not so sure about the quieter, more desperate moments, especially during the last section of the book, but it could be interesting seeing him take a big chance like this and hopefully rising to the challenge.

Anne Hathaway
as Rosa Saks
Natalie Portman was the woman originally conceived for the role Joe's slightly eccentric but ever warm and loving girlfriend Rosa. I can totally see where they were going with Portman and I have no doubts that she would also be great in the role, but Annie is where it's at these days. I also briefly considered Leighton Meester (needs more experience) and Kristen Stewart (too young--she'd never get away with the post-war section--and her goddess-like stone face doesn't seem appropriate for Rosa) but, ultimately, I kept coming back to Anne Hathaway. She can work the bits of humor and lightness that pepper Rosa throughout the novel, but the image I had with me during the course of the book, and the one that ultimately made me believe she was the best choice, is that final phone call in Brokeback Mountain between Anne and Heath. There's so much emotion in that scene but it's fabulously understated and that's exactly where Rosa needs to be played.

Kellan Lutz
as Tracy Bacon
Okay, so I'm going to admit that I'm basing the casting of Kellan Lutz in the Tracy Bacon role solely on physical appearance. The only thing I've seen him in is Twilight (and possibly an episode of 90210 but most likely not) and he had, what, two lines in that? I hear he's quite good in Lisa Kudrow's The Comeback but, unfortunately, I haven't seen that yet. The way I see Tracy is as this large, broad shouldered guy who probably looks intimidating but is really just a big teddy bear and when he puts his arms around you, the problems of the world just melt away. I don't know about anyone else, but this is what I think when I see pictures of Kellan on the internet. I don't know if he has the chops, but it's not as if this role is as difficult as Joe Kavalier, right?

Susan Sarandon
as Ethel Klayman
Like most of the unimaginative film executives in Hollywood, I automatically cast Meryl Streep as Sammy's mother in my mind while reading the book. The thought became even more inescapable during the scene where Sam brings Tracy to his mother's house for dinner and Chabon describes this look ("'Will he?' she said, and, lifting the wrapped dish, she looked him in the eye for the first time all evening. Though it would recur often enough in his memory in later years, he would never know exactly what she meant by that look.") that I knew she would just nail. The way I see it, the whole performance relies on that look and if you can't get it right, the character will fall apart. After thinking it over, however, I decided that I needed to think outside the box a bit and come up with another actress besides Streep. Dianne Wiest came to mind since I've been kinda obsessed with her after her immaculate work in Synechdoche, New York, but, somehow, she didn't seem perfect for the part; no doubt she would have been great (has she ever been less than stellar?) but there had to be someone just right. Finally, someone suggested Susan Sarandon and it was like a choir of angels singing. Ethel has to be feared, loved, respected and funny, all done subtly and often at the same time. I think after her long and varied career and especially after Igby Goes Down, Sarandon can pull this off without a hitch. Plus, she'll be able to get that look without a problem.