My (Vaguely Distracted) Thoughts on Never Back Down

Never Back Down is basically a modern update of The Karate Kid....

Wait, what is Volchock doing here? And, more importantly, when did he get so hot?

Oops, sorry for that diversion. Just had to get that off my chest. Let me start again:

Never Back Down is basically a modern...

But, damn, he is really hot in this movie. I'm not much of a ogler by nature, but I just can't help it.

Oh shit. Sorry guys. I know you're just dying to hear my thoughts so lets try again.

Never Back Down is basically a modern update...

Awww, look how sweet Volchock (aka Cam Gigandet) is when he smiles. It's so strange-- he was such a prick on The O.C. (and he excelled at that, I must say) and he's supposed to be the antagonist here, but I actually find him quite nice (except for when he's beating the shit out of the comic relief friend, that was kinda douchey).

Fuck, why can't I stay focused on Never Back Down? Cam isn't supposed to be the whole damn show. Sean Faris, looking like he wants to become the next Tom Cruise, and inexplicable two-time Academy Award nominee Djimon Hounsou are both in this movie for probably far longer than he is and are infinitely more integral to the plot.

But Cam is just so pretty.

Focus, James, focus!

Must....stay....strong....

I'm in love.

For all intensive purposes, Never Back Down is really nothing more than your average Karate Kid (which I didn't even like in the first place) ripoff with more teenage angst and violence than you can shake a stick it, middling to average acting and characters that you really can't root for. Somehow, though, I stayed involved with the movie and I only audibly groaned once or twice, if that. Never Back Down somehow turns all of its cliches into a film that passes for above-average teenage entertainment. Who knew? C