Confession Sundays

For the lapsed Catholic in all of us- a new series in which I confess my deepest, darkest secrets before Oprah and The Madonna and wait for my atonement.

I've just seen my first episode of The Girls Next Door and, although it was predictably awful, I'm still embarrassed I actually watched it the whole way through.

I usually don't claim to be a beacon of classiness when it comes to my TV viewing habits because Lord knows I watch some crappy, completely trashy shows (Flavor of Love, I Love New York, Charm School, I Love Money, America's Most Smartest Model, Real Chance of Love, A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila...I've watched them all) but I always avoid any of the reality shows on E!. Why waste hours of my life watching them we I can see all of them boiled down into a 10 second clip on The Soup every week? Well, this weekend, I was over my friends' apartment and nothing else was on after The Soup, so we just left E! on and watched The Girls Next Door. Holy shit! Bad idea, to say the least. I swear to God I permanently lost some brain function watching that garbage. The episode revolved around Holly redecorating the Bunny House across the street when a couple of new playmates move in. Holly decides it would be fun to have a painting party and, inevitably, it turns stupid rather quickly. They start drawing boobs on the wall and, bored with all of the "hard work," Kendra (the one with the annoying laugh) decided to paint her breasts and leave a breast print on the wall. But Miss Smart One fails to realize that paint will stain and has a hard a time getting all the paint off, eventually turning her nipples a Pepto Bismol pink for awhile. The interviews these ladies give were also enlightening, to say the very least. At one point, one of them- I think it was either Holly or the one who's not Kendra- describes one of the new girls as, "fun and funny and totally fun to be around" (which, of course, prompted me to be an asshole to my friends and say, "You're so fun and funny and hilarious!"). Seriously, I've heard Paula Abdul give a more coherent and intelligent interview. To sum it up, this show is shit and I hope I never have to watch it again.