Why Does Love Always Feel Like a Battlefield?

Guess you better go and get your armor.

How Sweet It Is

Just how much is everyone on board for the Second Coming of Britney? Let's count the Moonmen:

ONE

TWO

THREE

ALL TOGETHER NOW!

THE SECOND COMING OF BRITNEY...IT'S HERE!

In other news, wasn't the rest of the VMA's just a complete snooze fest? I think it was even worse than last year (which is saying a lot). Except for the Pink and Christina Aguilera performances (Wasn't that remix of "Genie in a Bottle" epic? I think I love it more than the original), Miley Cyrus not winning Best New Artist (which I thought she had in the bag) and Jordin Sparks's "Oh snap!" moment to Russell Brand when she said, "not every guy or girl wants to be a slut, OK?" the highlights of my evening were talking about going to jail with my friend Sammi for being a pedophile because we both think Nick Jonas is the cutest Brother Jonas and squealing with delight with J.D. over every Britney win and then slamming all the shit that was going on. I mean, where do I even start? Russell Brand and his shitty, unfunny comedy that was more political commentary and less poking fun at the music industry? Katy Perry butchering, putting through the grinder and then pissing on The Madonna's "Like a Virgin" for a way too long 30 seconds? That completely retarded Lil' Wayne performance? Kid Rock? That lead singer of some band I had never heard of called Tokio Hotel that neither J.D. nor I knew its sex? The stupid idea that all of the performances had to be on the movie sets to be interesting, when we all know that the best ones have all taken place right on stage (like this Madonna performance of "Vogue" that I discovered a week ago)? Blurg. The VMA's need to get back to basics next year, move to New York and focus completely on the awards and the performances. All the other stuff is extraneous bullshit.

Top 20 Songs of 2007: #15-11

15. Eve "Tambourine"
With a fiesty and electrifying single every bit as hot as "Let Me Blow Ya Mind," the Eve comeback should be on its way. So why was this song completely ignored on the radio? And where the hell is her new album? (Listen here)

14. 50 Cent featuring Justin Timberlake and Timbaland "Ayo Technology"
It's possibly the strangest song on the countdown- in a million years, I never would have thought I'd see the day where the totally gangsta 50 Cent and the skinny white boy Justin Timberlake did anything, let alone collaborate on a song, together- but, for some strange reason, it works. I love the way Fiddy utters "50 Cent, Justin, Timbaland" in the very beginning and his first verse flows especially well. (Listen here)

13. Jordin Sparks "Tattoo"
This has to be a mistake- an American Idol contestant who's first single is actually worthwhile? Well, believe it. "Tattoo" is the finest AI debut since Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent." The song is nothing special, but Sparks sings it beautifully and finally proved to me that she was a worthy winner last season. (Listen here)

12. Rihanna "Shut Up and Drive"
With the best not-so-subtle sexual metaphor since Fergie wondered about people going down like London Bridge, Rihanna's follow-up to "Umbrella" is an inspired, rock-heavy to her usual sound and another reason why she had an amazing 2007. (Listen here)

11. Amy Winehouse "Rehab"
She may have just chopped off her famous beehive and has given Britney stiff competition in the "Breakdown of the Year" battle, but Amy Winehouse is a damn good singer and her breakthrough American single "Rehab" is a great way to discover for yourself. (Listen here)

Jordin is the Season 6 American Idol!

Congratulations Jordin! I wish you all the success in the world!

American Idol Recap- Finals Edition

I know I've been covering American Idol like mad these past few weeks, but after tonight the show will (sadly) be over until next January and you won't hear anything about it. Last night was the Finals between Blake and Jordin and, like always, it was a slobberknocker. The first round went to Blake as he sang "You Give Love a Bad Name" perfectly yet again while Jordin tried Christina Aguilera's "Fighter." She sang it nicely, but it lacked the edge and anger that it needs (and that Christina gives it). The next round went to Jordin as she sang Martina McBrides's "Broken Wing" beautifully and almost as well as the original. Blake sang another Maroon 5 song, "She Will Be Loved," and he did sing it better than Adam Levine, but it wasn't as good as Jordin.

Now, this is the part where I started to get angry at the show. You remember how they announced at the beginning if the season that they were looking for someone to write the song that the winner will release as a single? Well, supposedly they did that because every song after "A Moment Like This" sucked major balls and they wanted to find one that would actually get played on the radio. I was happy to hear this because all of those inspirational songs that the winners were forced to release were terrible and were only listenable because of the singer. So imagine my surprise when after all this hoop-la that they pick the cheesy inspirational song "This Is My Now" that sucks worse than Fantasia's "I Believe" and even Carrie Underwood's "Inside Your Heaven." I was so upset when I heard Blake singing this song because it is not his style at all. His voice and talents don't lie in cheesy inspirational ballads. He looked so frustrated singing the damn song that even Simon pointed it out. On the other hand, the song is right up Jordin's alley and she did all that she could with it. How fair is this? Jordin will win now because of that damn song and it doesn't seem right.

Come back tomorrow for my thoughts on the Season Finale and the eventual winner (even though we kinda know who it is at this point).

American Idol Recap- Top 3 Edition

Wow, what an improvement over last week! All three of the finalists were fantastic and gave great performances. Here's the rundown on last night:

Jordin Sparks "Wishing On a Star": A cute little contemporary performance, but nothing we haven’t seen from her before.

Blake Lewis "Roxanne": An odd song choice from Paula for Blake (is she trying to turn him into Chris Daughtry or something?) but he pulled it off surprisingly well. Much, much better than last week, thank God.

Melinda Doolittle "I Believe in You and Me": The perfect type of song for Melinda to be singing (a Whitney Houston power ballad) and she even sings it differently than I would imagine. Very nice Melinda.

Jordin Sparks "She Works Hard For the Money": In my mind, this is one of those songs that as an American Idol contestant you should just stay away from. As with most Donna Summer disco-era songs, they were sung so well the first time that you really can’t sing them any differently and it’s hard to infuse your own personality into them. So imagine my dismay when the producers make poor Jordin sing this song. She wasn’t horrible by any means, but it just wasn't as good as some of her better performances.

Blake Lewis "This Love": A great song choice for Blake because his voice is really reminiscent of Adam Levine’s from Maroon 5. There wasn’t much more Blake could have done with the song that Levine didn’t, but it was entertaining nonetheless.

Melinda Doolittle "Nut Bush City Limits": I loved Melinda’s attitude and spunk during this performance. Bravo to the producers for picking this obscure Ike and Tina Turner number over something more standard and bravo to Melinda for singing the hell out of this song.

Jordin Sparks "I Who Have Nothing": Damn this girl can sing! Her rendition of this song was flawless yet again (she sang it on a previous episode) and really showed us why she belongs in the competition.

Blake Lewis "When I Get You Alone": Forget what Randy said- this performance was magnificent. Another perfect song choice for Blake and he really sang the hell out of it. Here’s hoping he makes it to the finals on the strength of this great performance.

Melinda Doolittle "I’m a Woman": Of all the songs Melinda sang this year, I’m not exactly sure why she chose this one (I’m torn between "Since You’ve Been Gone" and "Home"), but it was still fun to watch her do this. It looks like she’s having tons of fun on stage and has all but wrapped up her well deserved position in the Finals.

Check back again tomorrow for my thoughts on the person sent home tonight (it's between Blake and Jordin and we all know who I want to stay).

American Idol Recap

I wasn't really planning on doing a recap of American Idol this week, but at Kathryn's insistence, I will do a short recap/thoughts about Tuesday and Wednesday. In case you didn't know, LaKisha went home this week leaving me rather relieved. My Blakie was in the bottom two and it was looking like it could go either way. As much as I hate to say it, neither of them had the greatest night on Tuesday. LaKisha did "Staying Alive" first and I didn't think it was too horrible. Her second song was also okay, but nothing to really rave about. For the first time, I really couldn't stand a song of Blake's. The first one he sang was just God-awful and used way too much beatboxing. His second song was better, but not in the league of his other songs from previous weeks. Overall, it was a pretty bad week for everyone. Even Melinda and Jordin weren't at the top of their game and, in the words of Randy Jackson, weren't "in it to win it." Next week is going to have to be a ton better if any of the three want to earn the title of "American Idol" and Blake is going to have hit it out of the park (and Jordin is going to have to suck majorly) to make it to the finals with Melinda.

American Idol Recap

Wow, last night's episode of American Idol was the best of the season. With the music of Bon Jovi as the theme, and no real "rockers" on the show, I thought it would be terrible. But, somehow, everyone did their thing and it was incredible. Here's a rundown of last night:

Phil Stacey "Blaze of Glory": Surprisingly, Phil wasn't too unbearable last night. He actually picked a good song for him and sang it decently. I still can't stand him and sincerely hope he gets the boot tonight, but it was a fine performance.

Jordin Sparks "Livin' on a Prayer": Poor Jordin. After getting praised to high-heavens last week, she went and gave the weakest performance of the episode. It wasn't Sanjaya-esque bad, it's just that the song didn't fit her voice at all and was very unflattering. Hopefully the voters forgive this tiny slipup and don't kick her off tonight.

LaKisha "This Aint a Love Song": A very good performance from LaKisha- probably my favorite of hers from the season. After so many weeks of being "blah" for me, I finally felt a little emotion from her as she sang. But that kiss with Simon was a little awkward.

Blake Lewis "You Give Love a Bad Name": OH MY GOD, BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT (and maybe of the entire season). After a couple weeks of playing it safe, my Blakie finally took a chance again (as he did with the fabulous "You Don't Really Love Me" and "Time of the Season") and it paid off tremendously. I have never seen a performance like that on American Idol and I believe he actually has a better chance of winning this whole competition (the only thing that stands in his way is Melinda).

Chris Richardson "Wanted Dead or Alive": This was pretty amazing too. Very bluesy and was the perfect song to fit with Chris' voice. Chris Daughtry might have sang it last season, but Chris Richardson's version was just as good and in a totally different way.

Melinda Doolittle "Have a Nice Day": Melinda also picked the right song for her voice and sang it wonderfully. I don't really think she can be a rocker chick or anything, but she at least survived rock week and turned in another fabulous performance.

Okay, what the fuck was with George and Laura Bush speaking to the American people for donating money to causes that he should be taking care of. What a douche bag. I can't believe he has the audacity to even come on TV and do that when his administration should have fixed Louisiana after Katrina and helped with illiteracy and health care. And, George, that little joke of yours was not funny at all.

Is Jordin Pulling a Vonzell Solomon?

After last night's stellar performance on American Idol, 17-year old Jordin Sparks has got me wondering if she will be this season's Vonzell Solomon. Think about it...both of these powerhouse divas kind of laid low during the Top 24 rounds and the first few weeks of the finals, but then came out of nowhere with heaps of praise from the critics and tons of adoring fans. Vonzell defied everyone's expectations and made it to the Top 3 before getting eliminated (granted she was in a weak year...for Christ's sake Anthony Federov made it into the Top 4). Will Jordin do the same? Can she fight past everyone to secure a spot in the Top 3? And if she does make it there, can she beat out heavily favored Blake and Melinda to win the damn thing? I don't know, but it sure will make interesting TV in the coming weeks.

Oh, and by the way Sammi, Blake was pretty amazing last night singing "Imagine" and you and Phil Stacey and his whack-ass song/performance can suck it. There is no way Blake deserves to be going home tonight.

American Idol Recap

Okay, so last night's episode wasn't the best one ever, but it wasn't horrible either. The whole Latin music theme was kind of weak since exactly half of the singers picked songs by Santana and Gloria Estefan (not very diverse, eh?) and another one went with Marc Anthony. There was one thing, however, that made up for the weak theme and that was the diva-licious presence of J. Lo. It was kind of ironic that they would ask J. Lo to give the contestants vocal guidance since she is more of an entertainer than a singer herself, but I didn't mind because she has been so boring since the downfall of the original Bennifer and I will lap up anything she will grace her presence with (she did, however, use the musical terms "key" and "half-step" so she's not entirely clueless about music). So, without further ado, here are my thoughts about last night's performances...

1. Melinda Doolittle "Sway"- Not too familiar with the song, but I think Melinda sang it about as well as anyone could have. I wasn't crazy about it, but she's allowed to have an off night (and this really isn't her theme anyways).

2. LaKisha "Conga"- Contrary to the judges opinions, I liked LaKisha singing this. She sings this type of vacant pop song well since she doesn't emote any feelings when she sings. Just imagine her singing "Fergalicious" or "Buttons"...wow, that would be amazing.

3. Chris Richardson "Smooth"- I'm not a huge fan of this song (it got played way too much when it was relased seven years ago and I'm still sick of it) and Chris sang about as well as could be expected, but what really surprised me was how sexy he was during his performance. I don't know what it was about it, but I needed a fan after watching this.

4. Haley Scarnato "Turn the Beat Around"- This bitch needs to seriously die. She is just as bad as Sanjaya and yet she is still on this show. I don't get it. I don't know who told her that tackling this challenging song would be a smart move for her, because she was just plain awful- karaoke at its worst.

5. Phil Stacey "Maria, Maria"- All I'm going to say is that I am not a fan of this song, but after listening to Phil warble through it last night, I will say that I appreciate the original that much more.

6. Jordin Sparks "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You"- Pretty dull for a Jordin Sparks performance and the tempo was slowed down to almost a death march. As with Melinda though, she's allowed to have an off-week.

7. Blake Lewis "I Need To Know"- Blake Lewis is sex on legs and although this wasn't my favorite performance of his, it was still the sexy and hott performance (with plenty of vocal power to back it up) we've come to expect from him.

8. Sanjaya "Besame Mucho"- In the words of Simon, "Does it really even matter what we say anymore?"

Questions for Comments
1. As always, who was your favorite and least favorite last night?
2. What did you think of J. Lo?
3. Why is Haley still on this show?

American Idol Recap

Last night's episode of American Idol was one of the best I've seen in a long time. Most of the contestants brought their A-game and gave fantastic performances. So, in case you missed it, here's the rundown on last night.

1. Haley Scarnato "Tell Him": I still hate Haley for butchering "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" a few weeks ago and I still have no idea how she got through to the Top 12 (or why she's still there). For me, the song was screechy and cloying while continues to prove how out of her league she is next to Melinda, LaKisha, Jordin, etc. The judges gave it fairly postive reviews, but it mostly stank.

2. Chris Richardson "Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying": A very solid performance in which Chris showcases his soft side. The vocals were beautiful and unlike anything he's done before. I can't wait to see what he does next week.

3. Stephanie Edwards "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me": Stephanie is always fabulous, but I agree with the judges that this is one of her weaker performances. Her vocals were very nice, but lacked the passion of her previous performances. Hopefully this will be a wake up and we'll get to see her spunk next week.

4. Blake Lewis "Time of the Season": What can I say about this performance? In the words of Kathy Griffin "This shit delivered like Dominoes!" Blake sang it so smoothly and sexy that anyone would do him in a minute after listening for a few seconds. If Blake keeps singing like this, he could easily be in the finale with Melinda.

5. LaKisha "Diamonds Are Forever": I'm not a huge fan of LaKisha for this reason: she is a good singer who can hit the right notes, but, frankly, she sucks almost all the emotion out of her song. When she sang "Diamonds Are Forever," LaKisha proved my point because the song was all notes with no emotion and even the judges saw that this weeks. LaKisha is going to have to do something huge in order to win me over.

6. Phil Stacey "Tobacco Road": Phil is basically a fourth-rate Chris Daughtry and his performance last night proved that further.

7. Jordin Sparks "I Who Have Nothing": A very fine performance that one-upped even LaKisha. I have a feeling Jordin could become this year's underdog- like Kelly Clarkson- and make it very far (but I'm not sure she has the power yet to overcome Blake and Melinda).

8. Sanjaya Malakar "You Really Got Me": This was the most embarassing performance of the night. Sanjaya should not be rocking out to a song by The Kinks. With the crying girl in the audience and the judges claiming it was his best performance to date, I have a feeling he will become this season's Scott Savol and never get voted off. Ugh.

9. Gina Glocksen "Paint It Black": Not a terrible version of the song but I've seen it done much better on "Rock Star" and felt like something was lacking. I like Gina and she's a wonderful singer, but I don't think she has it in her to make it to the top.

10. Chris Sligh "She's Not There": Okay, I guess, but I find Chris Sligh terribly annoying. He has a fine voice, but he tries too hard to be quirky. I really hope that America feels the same way and gets rid of him soon.

11. Melinda Doolittle "As Long As He Needs Me": Another fine performance by Melinda in which she avoids showing off by going all over with her voice and does the song proud. Easily one of the best of the night.

So that's my analysis. Best in show honors go to Blake and Melinda (surprise surprise) with honorable mentions going to Jordin and Chris Richardson.

Here are some questions for the comments:

1. Who was your favorite and least favorite last night?

2. What is your opinion about Lulu (the woman who helped prepare the women)? I thought she was fabulous amazingly interesting to watch and made Paula seem subdued in comparison.

3. Who do you predict to be in the finals based on what you've seen so far?

4. Tell me about anything you disagree with in my analysis.

American Idol Recap

If I had to pick a top man and woman from this season's American Idol so far, I would have to go with Blake Lewis (the only good man) and Miss Melinda Doolittle. They were both spectacular in their own rights and could possibly go really far. But there are other fantastic females there too. Stephanie Edwards did a great version of "How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore" and Sabrina and Jordin were also fantastic. I'm having mixed feelings LaKisha, though. Sure she is a fantastic singer, but I felt it was all wrong for her to tackle "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" so close to the memorable J. Hud version. She sang the hell out of it, but it was lacking in the emotion that J. Hud put into it (see post below). I can't wait to see what she does next week though. Now for the worst performance of the night: Haley Scarnato attempting to belt Celine Dion's power ballad to end all power ballads "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." The song is pretty dark- about dead loves and reigniting feelings- but she sang it as if it was the happiest little ditty she had ever heard. I wanted to vomit it was God-awful (but not as much as when Katharine McPhee completely butchered "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" last season). But, for some strange reason, where rather nice about it and didn't lay into her as much as I would have. Yuck.