Two-Time Emmy Award Winner Kathy Griffin!

Fuck yes! D-List Diva Kathy Griffin won her second Emmy Award in a row for Outstanding Reality Show (Non-Competition) for My Life on the D-List last night. After her controversial speech last year, which brought her so much publicity that she was almost an A-Lister, Kathy was a little subtler this year, proclaiming when she got to the podium, "Well, well, well. Here we go again, fuckers!" She then went on to say, "I'm not going to tell anyone to suck it tonight."

Congrats Diva! No one in Hollywood deserves this award as much as you do. Now, all we need to do is get you that Grammy you deserve!

My Emmy Winners

Best Performance in a TV Special:

Victoria Beckham, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America

Best Supporting Actress in a Mini-Series or Made-for-TV Movie:

Ashley Tisdale, High School Musical 2

Best Actress in a Mini-Series or Made-for-TV Movie:

Dame Judi Dench, Cranford


Best Reality Show (Non-Competition):

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

Best Reality Show (Competition):

Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School

Best Guest Star (Actor or Actress):

Britney Spears, How I Met Your Mother
(And, unfortunately, she'll have to settle for my award since the Emmy's have snubbed her from the Top 10 Finalists list. Those fucktards.)

Best Supporting Actor (Drama):

Ed Westwick, Gossip Girl

Best Supporting Actor (Comedy):

Chi McBride, Pushing Daisies

Best Supporting Actress (Drama):

Rose Byrne, Damages

Best Supporting Actress (Comedy):

Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty

Best Actor (Drama):

Hugh Laurie, House

Best Actor (Comedy):

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Best Actress (Drama):

Glenn Close, Damages

Best Actress (Comedy):

Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives

Best Drama:

Gossip Girl

Best Comedy:

30 Rock

My Emmy's (Part 2)

Last week I gave you Part 1 of what my ballot would look like if I voted for the Emmy's. Now, here's Part 2, which consists of Supporting and Guest Performances and Reality Shows. Winners will be announced in a couple of days.

Best Supporting Actress (Comedy)
Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies
Dana Delaney, Desperate Housewives
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Becki Newton, Ugly Betty
Michelle Patterson, I Love New York 2
Wanda Sykes, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty

This category was so overloaded with great performances that I just couldn't narrow it down to 5. Vanessa Williams is, to me, the main reason to watch Ugly Betty. Vain, self-centered, impeccably dressed and always ready to throw out a one-liner, Williams' Wilhelmina Slater brings the goods everytime she comes on screen. Becki Newton's Amanda is just as treacherous as Wilhelmina, if only more upfront about it, and gets nearly as many laughs being as silly and ridiculous as possible. As a comedienne, Wanda Sykes is severely underrated. Not only is she great at stand-up, but she's also a fantastic actress. She should have won the Oscar for her work in 2005's Monster in Law, her first TV show Wanda at Large was hilarious but canceled too quickly and she was the best thing about Evan Almighty. On The New Adventures of Old Christine, she often has me dying of laughter because of the way she doesn't put up with Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Christine's bullshit and calls her out on it all of the time. Kristin Chenoweth's character on Pushing Daisies could have gotten annoying over time. Thankfully Chenoweth keeps her light and ultimately charming in her own peculiar way. Dana Delaney's latest housewife brought the drama this season on Desperate Housewives and who didn't love her bitchfights with Marcia Cross' Bree? Again, I realize that I Love New York 2 is technically a reality show, but Tiffany Pollard had to get her craziness from somewhere- and that somewhere is her mother, Michelle ("Sister") Patterson. Admit it: you loved her reaction when she first met Midget Mac and thought it was hilarious every time she brought up her "third eye." Jane Krakowski's Jenna didn't get much face time this season, but when she did it was magical. Divas don't come any bigger (or more delusional) than Jenna and we love her for it. Best moment: when finding Liz's positive pregnancy test, her response is "Someone's going to get more attention than me."

Best Supporting Actress (Drama)
Rose Byrne, Damages
Jill Clayburgh, Dirty Sexy Money
Lisa Edelstein, House
Taraji P. Henson, Boston Legal (ABC)
Natalie Zea, Dirty Sexy Money

I gave up on Boston Legal this season after reaching the breaking point with it's preachy monologues in place of actual quality writing and the fact that I'm supposed to believe that all of these beautiful hot chicks would get with a bloated James Spader. The only reason I would go back, however, is for Taraji P. Henson's fierce newbie lawyer to the firm who isn't taking shit from anyone- not even Spader's Alan Shore. Jill Clayburgh is basically the emotional center of Dirty Sexy Money and another reason to trumpet her comeback to the big time. Natalie Zea's Karen is a characterization rather than a full-fledged character, but Zea has so much fun with her messy contradictions and unashamed forwardness that she becomes a real person. Lisa Edelstein, like Marcia Cross, is the most underrated actress on her show's cast and I don't understand why the awards groups continuously snub her. She doesn't have much of a life outside of the hospital, but her verbal battles with Hugh Laurie's House are the highlights of the show and it's fun to see how low she'll stoop to get back at him sometimes. Glenn Close may hog all of the attention on Damages, but over in the corner Rose Byrne is doing some great work as well. Byrne could have copped out and basically rode Close's coattails, but, at times, her work is nearly as brilliant as Close's.

Best Supporting Actor (Comedy)
Clark Gregg, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock
Chi McBride, Pushing Daisies
Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock
Michael Urie, Ugly Betty

Okay, I'm getting lazy and everyone knows that Supporting Actor is always the lamest category. Few word summaries for every nominee. Gregg: Strangely charming. McBrayer: Creeper, but funny. McBride: Deadpan hilarity. Morgan: Jenna looks less crazy next to him. Urie: Fabulously bitchy

Best Supporting Actor (Drama)
William Baldwin, Dirty Sexy Money
Ted Danson, Damages
Robert Sean Leonard, House
Donald Sutherland, Dirty Sexy Money
Ed Westwick, Gossip Girl

Baldwin: Makes tranny-loving heartwarming. Danson: Bad or good? Leonard: Right-hand man brilliance. Sutherland: Warden of the Darling insane asylum. Westick: Hated him at first, now unthinkable without him.

Best Reality Show (Competition)
America's Most Smartest Model (VH1)
America's Next Top Model (The CW)
American Idol (Fox)
Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School (VH1)
I Love New York 2 (VH1)

Apparently VH1 is the channel to get the best competition reality shows. America's Most Smartest Model really should have been retarded beyond belief, but leave it to VH1 to find the prettiest, craziest dumb people ever and put them in a house together. Andre the Soviet actually had me cheering for Communism. Tiffany Pollard and Michelle Patterson were back with another absolutely insane season of I Love New York. From Sister Patterson's freakout when meeting Midget Mac to the fight between Sister Patterson and The Entertainer's mother and New York's 2 minute emotional rollercoaster ride with Buddha in her hotel room, the whole season was brilliantly trashy. Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School was just another excuse to bring the fabulously trashy women of the first two seasons back together again. Unexpectedly, however, the show was really uplifting in the strangest ways and I felt better about myself after the season was over. Who knows if the changes stuck, but I was convinced at the finale. You all know I'm obsessed with American Idol so it's inclusion should come as no surprise. America's Next Top Model's two season were as fun and addictive as usual. The challenges were great, the women were refreshing and the judges were as hilarious as ever (Tyra talking about herself all the time and Miss J making fun of Dominique).

Best Reality Show (Non-Competition)
Hey Paula! (Bravo)
Flipping Out (Bravo)
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Bravo)
Kitchen Nightmares (Fox)
Supernanny (ABC)

On the other hand, Bravo must be the channel for non-competition reality shows. I recently watched the entire first season of Flipping Out on a Bravo marathon and I was completely hooked. Where did they find this guy? He's absolutely crazy/hilarious and his assistants are just as fantastic. Hey Paula! was probably an attempt to show the normal side of Paula Abdul, but, in the end, it just proved to everyone how insane she actually is. Some of the stuff she did on that show was so unbelievably nuts I couldn't believe she approved to let it air. My Life on the D-List is always a treat, but Emmy-award winning comedienne Kathy Griffin got more personal than ever on this last season, dealing with her divorce and the death of her father. But it was also funnier than most shows that have aired in the past 5 years. Her best season by far. Kitchen Nightmares is a direct transfer of Gordon Ramsey's British show of the same name, but it's still as fascinating as ever watching him yell at moronic managers and try to turn these dying businesses around. Supernanny, along with Wife Swap, is growing a bit repetitious these days, but during the past few months it's getting a lot of spunk back due to Jo's increased bitchiness. She's not taking any more bullshit from these parents and I love her more for it: You go on and tell it like it is!

Best Guest Star (Actor or Actress)
Will Arnett, 30 Rock
Victoria Beckham, Ugly Betty
Molly Shannon, Pushing Daisies
Britney Spears, How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Elaine Stritch, 30 Rock
Michelle Trachtenberg, Gossip Girl

Who makes fun of Victoria Beckham better than Victoria Beckham? Her inspired cameo on Ugly Betty was one of this season's highlights for me. Michelle Trachtenberg's Georgina was the cherry on top of the amazing first season of Gossip Girl. Her outrageous exploits in the final few episodes had me addicted in a way comparable to how Courtney Love feels about crack. Elaine Stritch returned this season on 30 Rock as Jack's mother and I loved the way she tried to crack the perfect facade of Liz's family. This woman still has it. Will Arnett also reprised an earlier role on 30 Rock and he matched Alec Baldwin raspy, businessman voice for raspy, businessman voice. Molly Shannon is an underrated comic genius and her murderous candymaker was another reason to love her. Most people will say that she doesn't belong within 50 miles of an Emmy ballot, but no cameo had America talking more than Britney Spears' comeback work on How I Met Your Mother. It may not be Method acting by any means, but who can deny her inspired comic timing.

Kathy Causes Controversy and J. Hud Has a New Movie!

A couple of days ago, I reported that Kathy Griffin won a Creative Arts Emmy for her reality show My Life on the D-List. Well, apparently, Kathy made some comments in her acceptance speech that has sparked a controversy. According to IMDb, Kathy said in her speech, "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it, Jesus. This award is my God now." Now, the Catholic League is demanding an apology and claiming these remarks are "hate speech." Kathy apparently replied, "Am I the only Catholic left with a sense of humor?"

I know this isn't a good thing, but I can't help but feel proud for Kathy Griffin. She's finally gotten involved in an A-List controversy! Plus, I think "Suck it, Jesus" is one of the most hilarious things I've ever heard. Who else but her would have the balls to say that at the Emmy's?
According to Variety, Jennifer Hudson has joined the cast of the new Sex and the City movie. She will play the assistant to Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie Bradshaw. I've never seen an episode of Sex and the City, but I will definitely be at this movie just to see my beloved J. Hud. I hope the role is amazing and she will get to prove her nay-sayers wrong!

It's also J. Hud's birthday today. Happy 26th Jennifer!

Just a couple of little news blurbs I found IMDb earlier this afternoon:

~After an unsuccessful nomination last year (and a hilarious diva fit when she didn't win), Kathy Griffin won the Creative Arts Emmy (aka "the Schmemmy") for Best Reality Program! I am so happy for her and am glad she finally has something to show for all of her hard work! You go Kathy!

~Rob Marshall has now confirmed that Catherine Zeta-Jones (whom he directed to an Oscar for Chicago back in 2002) and Marion Cotillard (who is earning an multitude of raves for her performance in the Edith Piaf biopic La Vie en Rose) will join the already impressive cast of Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem and Sophia Loren for his film adaptation of the musical Nine (which, in itself, is based on the Fellini film 8 1/2). I don't know too much about the musical, but damn, this cast has me intrigued. And with Marshall in the director's chair, you know it's going to be great.

Things That Annoy Me: Perez Hilton and His Blog

To inaugurate my latest series, creatively titled "Things That Annoy Me," I decided to write about someone who's become sort of a quasi-celebrity for writing one of the least interesting blogs I have ever read: Perez Hilton. In case you've never heard of him, he's an overweight homosexual who constantly changes his hair color (in lieu of actually having personality) and writes this blog about the celebrities and their wacky behavior. Now, one would think that this could be rather interesting (given, of course, that you love celebrity gossip) but instead it is so freaking unimaginative and lacks any attempt to be the least bit witty or funny.

To show you what I mean, here are some of my interpretations of what a Perez Hilton entry might look like:

Britney shows off her vajayjay while stepping out of her car on her way to Club X in Los Angeles with new pal Paris Hilton (no relation).

Girl, please put on some panties.

Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay

Channing likes it up the butt, says a former friend in a Perez exclusive.

I wouldn't have this much of a problem with a lackluster blog if Perez weren't considered a "celebrity" and wasn't such a cocky asshole about it. I know I've never met him before, but all the proof I need is in the episode of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List that he appears on toward the end of last season. On this episode, Kathy is thanking him for writing something nice about the passing of her father on his blog even though there was some bad blood between them. First of all, you do not start shit with Kathy Griffin---you grovel at her holy feet. As a gay man he should especially know this. Second of all, you don't act like your fucking Hedda Hopper (look her up, kids) around the Queen when all you do is write on a fourth-rate blog. Kathy gives him free sex toys to try and win him over and he kind of half-heartedly looks at them and turns them on. Kathy is impressed that they are taking a limo to lunch and he kind of shrugs it off like it's no big deal. Then, when they are at the restaurant a couple of people come up and ask Kathy for her autograph, he has the audacity to ask if she's paid them to come over while he is there and then he acts all offended when they don't ask for his autograph. Sorry they probably have better things to be doing, like, I don't know, stabbing plastic sporks into their extremities, instead of reading your shitty blog.

I don't know who Perez Hilton thinks he is, but he is nowhere near the hot shit that he believes himself to be. I hope some scandal errupts and his downfall happens swiftly and painfully.

P.S. If you want to read an amazing celebrity gossip site, go and visit The Superficial. Not only does it deliver celebrity gossip but it does it in an amazingly fresh and witty way. Plus, it has my favorite headline ever. I'm not going to lie, I laughed for awhile even though it's pretty serious shit.

Shows I'm Looking Forward to This Summer

With all of my shows wrapping up (Desperate Housewives, American Idol, House), I now get to look forward to some new shows and returning favorites this summer. Here's a rundown on the stuff I will be watching this summer:

House of Payne (TBS): I know a lot of people hate Tyler Perry and Madea, but I think that Perry writes really good escapist, silly comedy (his melodrama could stand a lot of improvement) and that Madea is one hilarious woman (that chainsaw scene in Diary of a Mad Black Woman is brilliant and "You gonna call the po-po, ho?" makes me laugh everytime). I saw the commercial for this new show while I was watching the end of Erin Brockovich on TBS and I got really excited because House of Payne is a sitcom made by Tyler Perry and it looks like Madea makes an appearance on there. I'm in.

Hey Paula! (Bravo): Paula Abdul was the first singer I ever fell in love with back in the day and I've held a special place in my heart for her ever since. Imagine my happiness when she came back as a judge on American Idol and was in the spotlight back again. And now she has her own Bravo reality show which should make me love her even more (it worked for Kathy Griffin).

Hell's Kitchen (Fox) and Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (BBC America): Fuck Rachael Ray, Gordon Ramsay is my favorite celebrity chef. Between these two shows, we see two different sides to his personality. On Hell's Kitchen, he is an angry maniac prick who is ultimately likeable. On Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, he helps people transform failing restaurants into big booming businesses and is nowhere near as angry as he is on his American show.

Footballers Wives (BBC America): So the American version won't be on this season, but at least we'll get the next season of this addictive British soap opera. And that means more of my favorite bad girl Tanya Turner-Lazlo (aka "The Merry Widow"). Yes, please.

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Bravo): The show I wait for every summer is back for its third season. Even if it's missing some major characters (her thief ex-husband and her father who recently passed away) this season still looks rather promising. Jill and I will definitely be discussing this show religiously.