Wednesday, April 23, 2008

People Who Can Suck It: Jason Castro

Who Needs to Suck It: Jason Castro, current contestant on this season of American Idol.

Why He Needs to Suck It: This long-haired, dredlocked hippie freak is this season's pest that won't go away. With the vocal ability that could only impress 13 year old girls who have never heard music before or Helen Keller, he disgusts me every time I see his mug on the television. And not only has he pissed on the legacy of Judy Garland by massacring my beloved "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" (which no one should ever, EVER cover) a couple of weeks ago, but just last night he whispered and warbled through Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Memory" (one of my favorites of his). I don't understand the appeal of this kid; he can't sing and every time I look at him I just think he needs a shower. Yuck. Hopefully, after last night's abysmal performance, America will wake up and kick this loser off the show.

4 comments:

J.D. said...

His hair scares me.

goatdog said...

I hope this becomes a recurring series, because that just might be the greatest title in the history of the internet.

muldrake said...

I know it's a little late, but I just wanted to say that I totally agree with you about Somewhere Over the Rainbow. The judges loved it! I could never hear a word he sang EVER!

He was a nightmare throughout!

FranklinBluth said...

I thought Eva Cassidy's cover of 'somewhere over the rainbow' is pretty good.