10 Films I'm Excited for in 2010

I realize April has now approached us, but I feel it's never too late in the year to anticipate (hopefully) good upcoming films. One thing I noticed when trying to come up with this list was that I was more drawn to run-of-the-mill studio films than any Oscar bait or prestige pictures. Also, these films are very gay; either they star a hot guy or a fabulous female. Needless to say, I think 2010 is going to be an interesting year. So, in no particular order, here are ten films I'm positively dying to see.

Special Mentions: Before we get started with the list, I have to pay a special tribute to two films I couldn't add for various reasons. The Runaways has already been released, even though it won't be anywhere near my area until this weekend. When my friends recently asked me why I wanted to see this, my response was, "Kristen Stewart, in all of her hard edged indie glory, as a drugged-out lesbian rocker is like porn for me." The Loved Ones isn't supposed to get an Australian release until summertime, so I'm not holding my breath America will get it this year (if at all). This horror film, which stars Australian hottie Xavier Samuel, received ecstatic reviews at Toronto last fall. I'm hoping that after the release of Twilight Saga: Eclipse this June, American audiences will be clamoring for more Xavier and this film will see the light of day here.

Black Swan

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis play rival ballerinas. I'm expecting a lot of bitchiness and cat fights. Plus, Sebastian Stan plays a ballerina. Hopefully in tights. I apologize in advance to whoever sees this movie with me. There will be a lot of sighing and passing out.

Burlesque

Christina Aguilera plays a "burlesque" dancer (aka stripper). Cam Gigandet plays her boyfriend. CHER PLAYS THE BURLESQUE CLUB OWNER AND A FORMER "DANCER". What self-respecting gay man isn't excited for this movie?!

The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud

Zac Efron in his first serious role. This will either be great or flop horrendously. Can't wait to see which it is.

The Eagle of the Ninth

Jamie Bell plays Channing Tatum's slave boy. Channing Tatum is Jamie Bell's master. I swore after the twin disasters of G.I. Joe and Dear John my obsession with seeing every Channing movie in theatres was going to end, but I just can not say no to this movie.

The Fighter

This is going to sound incredibly shallow (even by my admittedly low standards) but I'm primarily interested in this film for Mark Wahlberg's torso. When I saw this picture around the interweb some months ago, my ticket was already bought.

Inception

I enjoy Christopher Nolan's films, but I'm mostly excited for this eccentric cast. I just can't even imagine what Ellen Page, Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are going to do in their scenes together. Their acting styles are on totally different planets so it will be interesting to see what Nolan does with them to make it work.

The Kids Are Alright

The last time Julianne Moore played a lesbian was in The Hours. Remember how I felt about that one?

Love and Other Drugs

My Jakey and My Annie reunited after Brokeback Mountain. This sounds like Jake's most promising project in ages (probably since Brokeback) while Annie has already received rave reviews for her performance as a woman with Parkinson's Disease. As with Charlie St. Cloud, this could either be majorly good or completely bomb. Either way, I'll be there supporting my loves.

Rabbit Hole

I read the original play over the summer and, if this adaptation is done properly, Rabbit Hole will be fantastic. I love Nicole Kidman long time, so it's nice to see her once again with a strong role to sink her teeth into. Plus, Dianne Weist!

The Roommate

Leighton Meester plays a psychotic killer roommate. I'm hoping that all the energy she's been sorely lacking on Gossip Girl this season has been channeled into her performance here.

Tom Ford is My Daddy

A couple of days ago, I asked my Formspring peeps about which men old enough to be their fathers they would want to have sex with. My guys did not let me down, coming up with a wide variety of older hunks that put many of today's younger generation to shame. One name that popped up repeatedly was fashion designer and film director Tom Ford. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been crushing on him ever since one of Oprah's numerous Oscar specials when he came on with Colin Firth to talk about A Single Man. He is such a smooth motherfucker; every word that came out of his mouth literally had me melting into my chair. When I saw him on a couple of people's lists, I decided to do a little investigating of my own. I knew he was older, but I didn't realize until I checked Wikipedia that he is old enough to be my father! In face, he's actually nearly four years older than my own father. My jaw nearly dripped to the floor when I saw he was born in 1961. Nearly 50 years old and he looks like that. Shit son, if I look half as good as he does now when I'm 30 I'll consider myself lucky. And, as a healthy 21-year old male, I'm proud to say that I would tap that in a heartbeat. I would have no problems calling Tom "Daddy" if he asked me to.




I have to admit something though: I find Tom Ford interesting beyond his general sexiness (and his potential as a director). From the way he styles himself to his ad campaigns, he brands himself as this taboo-shattering, sexually-liberated playboy. When I look at him, I imagine him hanging out at all the clubs with his famous model friends and leaving with two or three hot 20-something men hanging off his arms which he takes back to his place for a hot orgy. I also like to think that behind the scenes of A Single Man he was banging his "muse" Nicholas Hoult just because he could. But then I read he's been involved with the same man, a man who's around 20 years older than him, for decades and I'm doing the Miley "Whuuuuuuut?" Those two images do not go together in my head at all. Like, I'm happy that he's found someone to be in a committed, stable relationship with, but it seems like such a waste. That sexy man-goodness belongs on top of a hot 20-year old, not a senior citizen.

"Love is Love"

I had a lot to say after this week's episode of United States of Tara, namely the locker room showdown between eternally lovable Marshall and the douchey, extremely radical gay Lionel. Unfortunately, the post I had started was going nowhere and ended up sounding a little hypocritical, so I stopped and gave up on the whole thing. Thankfully, Kameron pointed out this article from AfterElton that sums up perfectly what I wanted to say in that post. I normally can't stand AfterElton--I find they believe that unless you support every gay artist (even at the expense of a better straight one) or every gay cause, you are a bad, self-hating gay--but for once I think they hit the nail on the head with this one. Marshall is not the enemy here. His position may be a tad worrisome, but I think his greater point that not every gay can be (or should be) as "out there" as Lionel, looking for biases and hatred everywhere they go, is one worth repeating.

Parenting- Sylvia Fine Style

"I just want you to know YOU'RE KILLING ME!"

More Male Models!

I'm working on a host of other projects--both blog and school-related--so to tide you over until I can get some writing done, here are some pretty male models to stare at.

(My apologies to the three straight guys who read this blog. This post is admittedly very, very gay).

Dylan Forsberg
I've talked about this young man before, but I found some more pictures that were too yummy to ignore. And I have 50 more on my computer where these came from.

Simon Nessman

Sam Way

Nicolas Ripoll

"I have to tell you how I old fashioned I was."

"I married before I lost my virginity.
What's more, I was 26 years old and it almost killed me to wait."

Why the Bombing of the Sugababes 4.0's Sweet 7 is Perhaps the Greatest News Ever

Listen, I love the Sugababes. They weren't as easy to get into as Girls Aloud, but I'm glad I finally "got" them. 'Push the Button' and 'Freak Like Me' are two of the past decade's greatest singles. 'Ace Reject,' the best song they have ever recorded, exemplifies everything I love about pop music. Hell, I even love Catfights & Spotlights, an album that most Suga fans are rather meh about. But, ever since listening to Sweet 7 a month or so ago, I have been secretly hoping for it to bomb big time and hasten the demise of this Frankenstein version of the 'Babes. Why, you ask? One reason and one reason only:

I love Jade Ewen. A lot.

Let's ignore for a second Sweet 7's general shitness, especially in comparison with the leaked Keisha versions that appeared online back in October or November. Instead, I want to talk about how being in Sugababes 4.0 is holding Jade back from a potentially amazing solo career. The Sugababes always worked because the women all had good voices but no voice overshadowed anyone else. Jade's voice, on the other hand, is much stronger than Heidi and Amelle's so, to compensate, she has to hold back. Besides, her voice isn't suited to the group's recent adoption of middling American-sounding pop; she does her best work letting her voice explode all over a song, not constraining it to a throaty, talky growl.

Right before Sweet 7 leaked online, a couple of Jade's unreleased tracks from prior to her jail sentence with joining the 'Babes found their way online. Originally, I didn't think anything would come of them, but, lo and behold, they are magnificent pop gems, way better than anything on Sweet 7. My favorites from this batch were 'My Man' and 'I Had Him First,' two surprisingly fierce uptempo tracks that recall Toni Braxton's 'He Wasn't Man Enough' and Whitney tracks like 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody.' Needless to say, I was really digging Jade's sound, but then came another unreleased track, 'Punching Out,' and my love for her grew exponentially. It became clear that the biggest crime regarding this latest incarnation of the Sugababes wasn't the fact that they were still using that name despite not having any original 'Babes left; rather, it was the fact that Jade was forced to slum it in this dying group instead of promoting her solo career.

Now that Sweet 7 has bombed this past week, I hope that everyone realizes that it's time to end the 'Babes with their dignity and good name intact instead of trying to resuscitate them in hopes of milking a Top 10 single from the brand name. The Sugababes were amazing in their day--very few girl groups can touch them--but the further they dilute their original sound so they can become as manufactured as so many American pop acts, the more people will start to turn on them. Leave the Sugababes alone and let Jade have the solo career she so rightfully deserves. She already has half an album ready of great songs. Don't believe me? Give 'I Had Him First' and 'Punching Out' a listen below:

Leighton's Ode to Sebastian

About a month ago, a new song from Leighton Meester's upcoming album, Love is a Drug, leaked online. The song, appropriately called 'Your Love's a Drug,' is utterly amazing, second only to 'Body Control' as Leighton's best. I seriously can't stop listening to it, only making me more anxious for her album (whenever the hell her record company decides to release it). While listening to it, however, a thought suddenly struck me: this song could really be Leighton's declaration of love for her partner in crime Sebastian Stan. On first listen, with its slick electropop production, you'd probably think I was crazy, but once you listen to the lyrics, 'Your Love's a Drug' is actually a very touching love song. So, turn up this jam, read the lyrics, glance at these new pictures of Leighton & Sebastian and revel in the amazingness that is Meestan, Hollywood's most adorable celebrity couple.

I like it
I want it
The way you make my body move
I think I'm addicted
I'm high off everything you do
I'm going to call you, baby
Don't you worry about a thing
'Cause you're all I need

I become a slave to my habit
Fiending for your love
Gotta have it now

You're all I need
Your love's a drug
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
And I can't sleep
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug
Your love's a


I need it
That feeling
Rushing through my veins again
Whenever you're leaving
I feel withdraw all kicking in
I going to tell you how I feel
How I couldn't breath
When you're not with me

I become a slave to my habit
Fiending for your love
Gotta have it now

You're all I need
Your love's a drug
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
And I can't sleep
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug


'Cause I miss you when you're gone
So right but feels so wrong
And I need to have you all the time

You're all I need
Your love's a drug
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
And I can't sleep
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug

You're all I need
Your love's a drug
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
And I can't sleep
Can't get enough
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug
Your love's a drug

WHY SO SERIOUS?

Ten Essential Film Performances of the 2000's

In no particular order, here are the most essential film performances of the past decade (NOT necessarily the best, just the ones that defined to decade for me).

Casey Affleck
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
For taking his in-bred awkwardness and making it work for the character. For working in a homoerotic subtext into this butch, Western biopic. For that post-Jesse epilogue, a tragic figure on the fall.


Dame Judi Dench
Notes on a Scandal
For continuing to surprise us and, even at 75, challenge herself. For playing into the film's camp aesthetic but never descending into hopeless theatrics. For scaring the shit out of me.


Anne Hathaway
Rachel Getting Married
For producing the decade's definitive "star is born" performance. For working her way up the old fashioned way and gaining valuable experience at every pit stop. For taking a stock character and performing it in such a way that it completely becomes her own.


Nicole Kidman
Dogville
For taking her auteur lust to a whole new level. For braving a role which relies solely on her face and body language. For proving time and time again that she's the bravest actress of our time.


Heath Ledger
Brokeback Mountain
For taking a mumbling, impenetrable, almost unlikable character and turning him into the unlikeliest romantic hero in ages. For his emotional breakdown after an entire film of emotional stoicism.


Julianne Moore
The Hours
For pushing her minimalistic acting to its breaking point. For her wonderfully warm and expressive face. For being the best in show with a movie featuring Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman and Toni Collette.


Julia Roberts
Erin Brockovich
For combining her decade-in-the-making star persona and natural charisma with a new found dramatic flair. For ditching her vanity and dropping some f-bombs. For her comedic timing on lines like, "That's all you've got: two left feet and fucking ugly shoes."


Uma Thurman
Kill Bill Volume 1 and 2
For providing the decade's one true iconic character. For trusting in Tarantino and his blood hungry vision. For having fun slicing limbs off the Crazy 88's.


Ashley Tisdale
The High School Musical Trilogy
For unleashing a comedic firestorm unlike anything Disney has ever seen. For proving that "Disney" isn't always synonymous with bad acting. For creating a tween character "type." For adding humanity to a one-note character.


Catherine Zeta-Jones
Chicago
For turning on the charisma full throttle. For matching the film's high-kicking, electric energy. For rocking a Louise Brooks bob. For proving that she, yes, can do it alone.

This Song Describes My Life Perfectly Right Now

Emma Bunton, you know me so well.

Watching The Box With My Parents

As you may have ascertained from my last post, my parents are characters. They realize this and accept it; at one point, my mother literally asked me why I haven't written a movie about how weird they are and made a bunch of money off of it. Yeah, and you wonder why I am the way that I am. Anyways, my parents watch a lot of movies (only because my mom, an eternal cheapskate, gets free rentals from her work) and they always have strong opinions about them: "Stupid! Overrated! What the hell? I don't get it! Artsy fartsy crap!" If you think I'm a tough grader, they are incredibly hard to please. And when they do like a movie, it's always something incredibly embarrassing like Daddy Day Care. Needless to say, when I lived at home, we always disagreed on the movies we watched together, which always ended up with colorful discussions like the ones I mentioned with Children of Men and Kill Bill Volume 1.

When I went home last week, my mother mentioned that she had rented The Box and, sensing a strong opinion from them, I was immediately filled with glee. Having already seen it back in October, I knew my parents would absolutely HATE it with a passion (maybe not as much as they hate The Piano--a film they still talk about nearly 20 years later--but close) so I was excited for their imminent end-of-movie rant. As the film progressed, they sat back in their chairs, intrigued by the mystery and trying to guess the giant "twist" they knew was coming. I wish I had written the guesses down, but the craziest one I remember came courtesy of my mother: "They must be aliens!" I just sat there, laughing to myself, while my mother kept asking, "Are we even on the right track?" No, mother, not even close. So when the big "reveal" came around, just as I thought, they were pissed. A two minute tirade filled with quips like "So stupid," "Crap," and "I just wasted two hours of my life on this?!" followed but the most interesting comment/question came from my dad: "Why did you want to see this movie again?!" I agree that the ending doesn't work and, for better or worse, the film is a complete mess. But there's no denying that The Box is a fascinating failure. It's not even close to a good movie, and it's not for everyone, but, honestly, I could watch it again while never seeing The Hurt Locker ever again. The Box C+, My Parents' Reaction A++++

Another reason to want to see The Box again?

James Marsden soaking wet.

A Quick Reader Survey

Hey readers! I just want to check in and see how everyone is doing out there. After my dry spell there for a week or so (to be fair, Spring Break got in the way and I was off having too much fun), I'm trying to come up with some new ideas for the blog. While I'm at it, though, I decided to put it to you to see what you wanted me to talk about. Rants of a Diva will always be my forum for talking about whatever the fuck I want, large audience be damned, but it's always nice to have input from my loyal readers (and friends in some/most circumstances). So, is there anything you would like to hear more about from me? A subject I haven't talked about in ages but you really enjoy, maybe? Any former series' you would like to see return? A topic you're just dying to see get covered? And, finally, is there anything on the blog you never want to see again? Feel free to get anything off your chest in the comments. I can take the criticism! Mama's here to listen.